Page 122 of Ruthless Chaos

“Please, Alexander…”

There’s conflict on his face. What’s happening? Oh gosh, does he not want me anymore? A month ago, he would have had sex with me whether I wanted to or not.

He looks away from me, cursing under his breath.

“You have no fucking idea how often I’ve thought of this moment,” he grunts. “There’s nothing more I want than to fuck you senseless, sweetheart.” He sure as hell isn’t acting like it. “To have you screaming my name as we both come together. But I can’t, Al. Not tonight.” My heart sinks. “They were auctioning your virginity an hour ago. If I fuck you now, it won’t feel right. I’ll be just like those nonces who attended the auction. I’m nothing like them.”

“It’s not like that,” I say, squirming in his grasp.

He scoffs. “You aren’t thinking straight right now. You’ve had a long, emotional day. You’ll agree once you’ve slept.”

The look on his face tells me that his mind is made up.

I’m ashamed that my body still burns for him, that I still yearn for his touch. Hot, angry tears stream down my face. “You can’t just leave me like this,” I say. “I won’t be able to sleep, and I’ll be mad at you.”

I’m not even sure what I’m feeling, but I hate him for not giving me what I want.

Alexander smirks haughtily, wiping my tears with his thumb. “Are you going to try to kill me in my sleep if I don’t fuck you? That’s hot.”

I ball my fists and hit him in the chest. “You’re just as turned on,” I retort, running a hand lightly over the bulge in his pants. He gasps at my touch.

There are a few heartbeats of silence as we stare at each other.

“Finish yourself off,” he says darkly. “I’ll watch.”

I quirk an eyebrow, confused. “Huh?”

“Like, touch yourself.”

“Where?” I ask.

Alexander looks at me like I’ve grown another head. “You’ve never touched yourself before?”

I shake my head. He’s wearing a lopsided half smile like he might burst out laughing in the next moment. My cheeks heat up.

I’m a deer caught in headlights. I want to explain myself, to tell him that I’m not weird, but deep down I know I am. I didn’t even know that was a thing peopleactuallydid.

“Lay back and spread your legs,” he commands.

I obey quickly, even as my body heats up under his gaze.

Alexander’s eyes are filled with the promise of all the dirty things he wants to do to me. Could I still get him to fuck me? My limited knowledge of men tells me they should be easy to manipulate in a situation like this.

It’s clear he wants me.

“Pleasuring yourself is all about figuring out what you like,” Alexander says, his eyes glued to the spot between my legs. He licks his lips like he wants to devour me. I wish he would. “Go on, start touching yourself.”

I move my hands slowly towards my core—both nervous to have an audience, and determined to break his resolve. I twirl the frills of my lingerie before slipping my fingers past the slinky fabric.

It’s sheer, but I move the crotch aside to give him a better view.

A jolt of electricity shoots through me when my fingers connect with my sensitive flesh. It’s sowet, dripping onto my fingers.

I sink my teeth into my lower lip, chasing the pleasure with a bit of pain.

Alexander takes his lip between his teeth too, his eyes drinking me in. He looks like a caged wild beast. Even from the other side of the bed, I can see his bulge growing.

Surely, he doesn’t have this much self-control?