Page 138 of Ruthless Chaos

I squirm in his grip. My underwear is damp.

“Look at me,” he commands.

My eyes snap open without hesitation.

“The next time you want to get disrespectful, remember who you’re dealing with.” His voice is low, dangerous. “I can make your life so painful that you will beg me to die instead.” His stare burns a hole into my skull.

That wasn’t a threat, it was a promise.

I try to dredge up the fear and hatred I’ve used to protect myself from Alexander in the past, but I can’t find it. Instead, there’s only a yearning for him to hurt me the way I like.

If I must be ruined, I want it to be at his hands.

THIRTY-TWO

ALIZE

I couldn’t takethis necklace off if I wanted to.

It requires a special key to unlock that only Alexander has. That in itself is weird and sets me on edge whenever I think about it.

It’s literally a collar. Alexanderownsme.

The day he decides to change the terms of this situation, I won’t have a say in the matter, as the strange rules would force me to conform.

I don’t let myself focus on that, though.

In the present, my life has improved now that I’m his Courtesan.

It’s been less than a day, but I’ve already noticed a change in the way people treat me. They still stare at me, but their eyes linger for a different reason. The snarky comments have stopped, and I was even complimented by another Hemlock girl—Giselle, I think her name was—on my way to class this morning.

Thathas never happened before.

Presently, Tara and I are grabbing lunch at The Ivy.

As much as I want to enjoy my lunch—this place used to be one of my favorite places to eat—I can’t. I blame Alexander for introducing me to Tommaso’s heavenly cooking, as the pasta I’ve ordered pales in comparison to the food I had yesterday.

It doesn’t help that each bite I take reminds me of the moments we shared.

“Where’s your mind?” Tara says, snapping her fingers in front of my face.

This is the first time we’ve had to chat since she helped me get ready yesterday. She says she’s busy with school but knowing Tara it could be anything.

She isn’t in the brightest of spirits today.

I shovel another bite of food into my mouth. “Where do you think?” I say between mouthfuls. “You haven’t asked me how things went yesterday.”

Tara chuckles, as if she’s amused by my whining. “Go on, tell me.”

“Do you notice anything different,” I say, moving my hair behind my shoulders. I angle my chest forward, giving her a view of my necklace.

Her eyes don’t leave my face though, and she raises an eyebrow.

I point to the necklace.

“He gave me this and made me his Courtesan,” I say. “Well, apparently I was his Courtesan all this time and he just didn’t tell me.”

Tara glances at the necklace.