Page 146 of Ruthless Chaos

Of course, Alexander is bad. Everyone here is.

Even I am, by association. My father’s a terrible person.

Is it the details? To this day, I don’t know what it is my father does. But, to know that Alexander’s family is complicit in so much death and destruction…

When I don’t respond, Uncle Laurent chuckles.

“Do what you must to stay on his good side,” he says. “He is a great ally to have at a time like this.”

I finally work up the courage to ask a question that has been on my mind almost every day since I’ve been here. “Any news from father?”

He grows silent. I pull the phone from my ear to see if we’ve been disconnected.

“None yet,” Uncle Laurent finally says. “We’re still working on neutralizing the threat. We are a bit closer to finding out who is responsible, but we have no solid leads yet.”

Though I wasn’t expecting good news, my heart still sinks.

“Why is it so hard to find out who it is? Are there that many suspects?”

He doesn’t answer. “I know you want answers, Allie. When things are a bit safer, we can set up a meeting between you and your father. He’s saddened by all that has happened, and he really wants to make it right with you.”

“So why can’t he tell me that himself, then?” I ask. “Why are you the one giving me all these messages?”

My eyes start to burn, and there’s anger building in my chest.

It’s a unique kind of pain and betrayal when your own father ruins your life then leaves you to pick up the pieces, all alone. This isn’t something I should have to deal with.

I don’t want to have to deal with it.

“I understand you’re upset, Al, but—”

I hang up the phone with trembling fingers.

Holding my hands in my head, I let the hot, angry tears flow.

I shouldn’t have answered the phone.

He called me tocongratulate meon tricking Alexander. He talked about him and his dangerous family with admiration. Even after being here for so long, I’m still not used to this. I don’t know when I will be.

Things are no longer as black and white as I thought they were.

The concept of good and evil as I knew it doesn’t exist anymore, not at this school, not in thisworldI’m a part of. I’ll have to get used to it.

I move back to the bathroom, busying myself so I don’t have to face my thoughts.

THIRTY-FIVE

ALIZE

I wrapmy coat tighter around myself, bracing against the chilly air.

It’s cold enough for me to see my breath. At first, the idea of an afternoon stroll to clear my head seemed great—it would give me space and time to reflect on everything going on in my mind after Uncle Laurent’s call—but now that night has fallen, I’m not so sure.

Now we’re in October, temperatures have steadily dropped.

Rubbing my hands together, I shove them into my pockets and pick up my pace a little. Though it’s almost midnight, the campus is abuzz with more activity than usual.

Thanks to Rush Week, I assume.