Page 69 of Pistols and Plush Toys

Nikolai made a rumbling-pleased sound at the next bite, and Elliot almost gasped to hear it, to hear Nikolai’s obvious pleasure at something Elliot had tried to make so special.

Elliot always loved watching Nikolai enjoying his food, loved how Nikolai’s praise would trickle pleasantly down his spine, but this time it felt like—more.

It didn’t take long for Nikolai to finish his first bowl, and before Elliot could offer him a second, he was already up and excusing himself to get it himself.

“бабушка used to make this in winter,” Nikolai said conversationally as he returned with his second portion.

“There was butcher nearby that had good prices on lamb, so she would get her biggest pot and make it. She made with vegetables she had in cellar, whatever needed to be used up. It was very good always. Warm, after cold days.”

“Her food sounds really special,” Elliot said.

“Is what I remember most of childhood, her food,” Nikolai said. “She was very good. Honest woman. Did not like my father’s business. She never let him buy her anything with his money.”

Nikolai’s shoulders dipped and he set his spoon down with a sigh. “She would not be proud of me,” he said softly.

“What?” Elliot asked. “Why?”

“She is telling me she never want me to be in family business,” Nikolai said heavily. “But I am like my father now. She would be unhappy.”

Elliot felt a hot rush of anger on Nikolai’s behalf.

“You are nothing like your father,” he said, the words tumbling out.

“Y-you’re kind, and you make me feel safe and…

and I think she would be proud of you, of this life you’ve built, despite your father.

I think she would understand the position you’re in. How hard you try to be good.”

“Thank you,” Nikolai said, giving him a small smile. “I’m happy you think I’m not… bad man.”

“Never,” Elliot said with feeling. “I could never. I know you too well now.”

Nikolai chuckled, some of the melancholy leaving him. “You are not believing my scary reputation anymore?”

“No,” Elliot said with so much warmth, “You and Gerard, you look big and scary, but then you let tiny adorable goats climb all over you.”

Nikolai snorted. “I have never let goat on me.” Then he was picking up his spoon again, going in for another bite.

“What about a sheep?” Elliot asked cheekily.

Nikolai met his eyes and there was a teasing amusement there. “Maybe I would let sheep climb me, if he was small enough.”

Elliot smiled into his bowl, cheeks hot.

When they’d both eaten enough chanakhi to be full, Elliot collected their bowls, then went to get the dessert. He carefully cut the kuchen and plated two slices.

“I hope this is also… good,” Elliot said as he set the plate down in front of Nikolai. The kuchen had firmed up in the refrigerator, and was now a creamy looking cheesecake consistency on pie crust.

Nikolai picked up his fork. “I have not seen kuchen in… long time,” he said in wonder. “Very long time.”

He took a bite, making a muffled sound of pleasure.

Elliot took his own, the flavor sweet and creamy.

“Very good,” Nikolai said after a swallow.

“Yeah?” Elliot had another bite.

“This is nicest meal anyone ever makes me,” Nikolai said after another bite.

“I’m—you’re welcome,” Elliot said. “I wanted to make you something. You’ve… you’ve done so much for me, and I can only cook, so—”

“This is nicest gift anyone ever give me,” Nikolai said. “Is more than just cooking. Is… home. Love and happy memories.”

“Oh,” Elliot breathed. That was possibly the best praise Elliot had ever gotten. “I’m… I’m glad.”

“You are…” Nikolai paused, watching him, eyes dark and warm. “You are more than just best chef, Elliot. You are my gift.”

Elliot’s lips parted. “I… thank you,” he whispered.

***

All through clean up, all through that night’s episodes of Checklists, Elliot kept hearing it. You are my gift. Over and over again in his head, in Nikolai’s low, pleased rumble.

He heard it when he eventually got ready for bed and curled up under the covers with the plush toys Nikolai had given him.

You are my gift.

All Elliot could think about was Nikolai’s eyes and his smile, both soft and warm and lovely as he’d said those words.

He wanted Nikolai to touch him. He wanted Nikolai to kiss him. He wanted Nikolai to come to his room and—

There was a knock on his door.

Elliot shivered, but not from fear. Heat was suffusing his body now. He’d made Nikolai happy. Nikolai had called Elliot his gift. And Nikolai was visiting him at night again and maybe…

Maybe Elliot would get what he wanted.

“Come in,” Elliot said, and his voice only shook a little.

Nikolai smiled as he entered, closing the door behind him and walking right up to the bed. There was no hesitation this time as Nikolai took a seat next to where Elliot was curled up under the covers.

Nikolai reached for Sheep and heat bloomed in Elliot’s belly.

“My gift,” Nikolai said again, voice low, as Sheep’s nose touched Elliot’s shoulder through the thin fabric of his sleep shirt. “Giving me so many good things.”

Elliot gasped. He suddenly wished he wasn’t wearing his shirt. He wanted to feel Nikolai touch Sheep over all his bare skin.

“Before you come here, my life was more empty,” Nikolai murmured as Sheep brushed down Elliot’s arm to his hand.

Elliot turned it over automatically so the soft fluff of Sheep’s nose could nuzzle against his palm.

His heart was beating hard in his chest, and every movement made tingles go up his arm.

“I’m have Gerard and Meredith, but is not enough for me.

Is not enough to make me happy at home.”

When Sheep made its slow way back up to his shoulder and brushed the sensitive skin of his throat, Elliot couldn’t help the sound he made, the moan that tumbled out.

Nikolai froze, and the touch of a stuffed animal lifted away from his skin.

Elliot’s eyes slammed closed in shame. He couldn’t believe he’d—he hadn’t intended to—

Then, a second later, there was a soft nuzzle against his cheek. Elliot’s eyes flew open.

“Is feeling good?” Nikolai rasped. Their eyes met and another one of those electric pulses of desire went down Elliot’s spine. He inhaled, sharp.

Nikolai was watching him with a gaze now hot and heavy. “овца and me… We are making you feel good?”

Elliot swallowed, his belly swooping as his heart pounded in his ears. He nodded helplessly.

Nikolai licked his lips and Elliot watched the motion. The tension tightened.

“Can we…” Nikolai's voice was low, sending more shivers down Elliot’s spine. “Can we keep making you feel good?”

“Yes,” Elliot whispered, amazed at his own daring.

But he wanted.

Nikolai looked from Elliot to Sheep and back again. Then one of his hands touched the bottom hem of Elliot’s shirt. “I can take off?” He asked, almost hesitant.

“Please,” Elliot breathed. This was everything he wanted. This was exactly what he wanted.

The shirt came up and off.

“You are almost healed. Is good,” Nikolai said as he folded the shirt and set it aside. His eyes were roving over Elliot’s side.

“It barely hurts anymore,” Elliot said.

“I will never let him hurt you again,” Nikolai growled.

“I know.” He trusted Nikolai with all of himself. “I know.”

“Lie down for me and овца?” Nikolai asked. He tugged gently at the covers to move them, and Elliot was quick to shuffle down. Nikolai helped him, placing the pillow just as Elliot leaned back.

Elliot was mesmerized then by the sight of Nikolai above him, backlit in soft lamp light. The focus and heat in his blue eyes, the width and breadth of his large, strong body, the gold of his jewelry as it glimmered in the lowlight.

Nikolai called himself big and scary, and he was big, that was for certain, but he was so achingly gentle. With Nikolai here, Elliot only felt hot, wanting desire.

Elliot’s breath shook out of him as Nikolai reached for Sheep again.

“Is okay?” Nikolai asked, Sheep hovering above the center of Elliot’s bare chest.

“Yes,” Elliot gasped. “Please.”

Nikolai touched him with Sheep just above his abdominal muscles, where there was a dip.

Then Sheep was traveling up his chest, tickling over his collarbone, his neck, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Elliot moaned and turned into it, nuzzling that softness.

It felt so good, every brush of fur electric and tingling.

“I never meet anyone like you before,” Nikolai said softly. “So sweet and kind.”

Sheep nuzzled him up the bridge of his nose and down to the other cheek. It was gentle and sensitizing, and Elliot felt sparking all over.

“Y-you’re sweet and kind,” Elliot managed, through the pleasure building within him. “You’ve done so much for me, and you didn’t have to. I was—I was the enemy.”

“You could never be enemy.” Nikolai pressed Sheep kisses to Elliot’s neck. “Sweet thing.”

Elliot whimpered at the endearment, at the soft brush of fur over where he was sensitive. He tilted his head to the side, wordlessly asking for more. The breath rushed out of him as Sheep kissed down his throat to his collarbone.

He felt sensitive everywhere, but the light furred kisses were drawing direct lines down through him, stoking the heat in his body.

“Nikolai—” it was barely a breath, but Elliot couldn’t help but say his name, helpless against the arousal. “I-I—”

“Yes?” The stuffed animal moved down his chest, brushing over one of the stiff peaks of Elliot’s nipples. It was a sudden, intense shock. He cried out, arching into it without thought. “Does овца feel good?”

“Yes,” Elliot gasped.

Nikolai hummed, pleased. Then he pushed Sheep’s nose back and forth over that nipple, teasing the bud further and making Elliot squirm with the way the shocks kept reverberating through him. His legs shuffled under the sheets.

“Котик likes it soft,” Nikolai murmured, like an observation. “Sweet. Has no one been soft with you before? Has no one touched you before like this?”

Oh god, oh fuck. Elliot shook his head. “N-no.”