Page 65 of Pistols and Plush Toys

“Morning,” Nikolai said, coming into the kitchen to see Elliot taking muffins out of the oven. The room was full of the smell of breakfast.

Elliot jumped, the tin in his mitted hand wobbling before he set it on the stove with a clatter. His eyes went to Nikolai and then darted away. “M-morning.”

What? Elliot hadn’t been jumpy with Nikolai yesterday. Had something happened?

“Everything is okay?” Nikolai asked carefully.

Elliot’s head bobbed as he pulled off the mitts. “Yes! I mean, yeah. Fine, sorry. Just, um, didn’t see you there.”

That was not exactly convincing, but Nikolai decided not to press. Elliot was allowed to have things he didn’t want to tell Nikolai. He didn’t owe Nikolai anything.

Nikolai had been getting too comfortable with Elliot being open with him. Especially with how pleasantly the Fall Festival had gone, he’d—he’d almost thought—

When in doubt, it was best to turn the focus to the food. “What we are having this morning?”

“Oh, um, banana bread muffins,” Elliot said, still unwilling to look at Nikolai. He was cleaning up the counterspace, shoulders curled in. “We had some bananas that were going brown.”

“Smells good,” Nikolai said as he walked over to start his coffee, putting a travel mug under the machine.

He leaned back against the counter to watch Elliot, who was moving quickly through the cleanup, as if he was nervous.

He bit his lip, which already looked red, even with it being the start of the day.

“Elliot, do not bite.” Nikolai said gently. Elliot’s lip had healed, but Nikolai hated the habit of his. Hated how easily Elliot could hurt himself and not think about it.

Elliot released his lip, pausing in his work. “Oh, um. Sorry.”

“Is okay. Habit is hard to break,” Nikolai said, his eyes drifting to his alcohol cabinet. “You’re doing very good. Is not so easy to change.”

That got Elliot to look at him, eyes wide as more pink flushed over his face. “Oh, um.” Then he seemed to catch himself, turning away and moving to the stove to start popping the muffins out of the tin for cooling.

Nikolai wondered what the skittishness was about this morning. Last night had been fairly normal, with the exception of one brand-new stuffed animal companion.

A companion he definitely wasn’t jealous of. Fuck, Fezzik was so big that the bear could probably hold Elliot .

Lucky bear.

“Was nice to sleep with new friend?” Nikolai asked, trying to sound encouraging and not jealous.

Elliot faltered, his whole body stiffening. “W-what?”

What? Nikolai was at a loss. Was he not supposed to ask about the stuffed animals anymore? He didn’t understand. Elliot had seemed fine last night, but he’d been jumpy the other night too with Sheep. The signals were… confusing.

“Fezzik,” he clarified, feeling wrong-footed. “Was nice to have him?”

But instead of an immediate glowing endorsement, Elliot gasped.

It was a small catch of sound. Like he was offended?

Like he couldn’t believe Nikolai would ask?

Or was Fezzik not good? He had been sort of a gamble, considering all of Elliot’s other stuffed animals were small.

But Elliot had seemed to like him. Elliot… Elliot had thanked Nikolai for him.

Thanked Nikolai so sweetly.

Nikolai wanted to ask, wanted to push, but he could sense it wasn’t going to go well. Whatever this jumpiness was from, he needed to move away from it.

Maybe that was it, maybe the questions were too close? Too invasive? They’d been in each other’s space so much since Elliot had come here.

Maybe he just needed Nikolai to back off, but was too sweet to say so.

“Y-yeah, um,” Elliot said, stilted. “Thank you.”

Right. He clearly needed some space.

“Good. I’m glad you like,” Nikolai said, taking his travel mug of coffee. He grabbed the matching lid and popped it on top. “Today I’m having meetings for my father’s work. Will be gone most of day. If you need anything, text Meredith. Okay?”

“Oh,” Elliot said, and turned toward him. “Um… be careful?” He made the request a question, as though he wasn’t sure if it was allowed.

Nikolai shrugged. “Should not be difficult.” Which was an understatement. Today would be routine, appearances he’d made for his entire adult life, but he would still rather be doing anything else. Would rather stay here with Elliot.

Unfortunately he had to pay his dues to his father. This was the price of the rest of his freedoms.

Elliot’s eyes drifted down to the travel mug in his hand. “If you’re leaving, here—let me pack you some muffins to take with you.” Elliot moved quickly to the cupboard where he pulled out an honest to goodness brown paper lunch bag. Three muffins went in and then he folded the top closed.

“Thank you,” Nikolai said, touched, as he took the bag.

Nikolai would miss this thoughtful, easy company in the mornings and evenings, and the hollowed out longing of a future without Elliot in it made Nikolai ache anew.

It was one thing to go your whole life not knowing how hungry you were.

Another to get a taste and live the rest of your life starving.

“I will be back by afternoon,” Nikolai said. “But Pyotr and Ivanov will be your home security.”

Elliot leaned back against the kitchen counter, his thumb tracing the edge of the marble. Nervous? Waiting for Nikolai to go? “Okay.”

Nikolai hesitated. Elliot was supposed to join him, Gerard, and Meredith for dinner this evening, but now Nikolai didn’t know if he should offer an out.

“Are you… still wanting to come out tonight?” He asked tentatively. “For dinner?”

But instead of looking more uncomfortable, Elliot brightened. “Oh! Um, no, yeah, if you still don’t mind me being there. I know it’s a celebration for you and Meredith and Gerard, but I’d–I’d like to be there with you all. To celebrate.”

The tension Nikolai hadn’t even realized had settled on his shoulders rolled off.

Because he did want Elliot at the dinner.

Tonight was a celebration dinner of sorts for Lucky Clover, which now had a tentative opening date at the end of the month.

Mostly though it was just a good reason to get together that didn’t involve business. It had been too long.

And he wanted Elliot to be a part of that. Wanted him to be with Meredith and Gerard, Nikolai’s people.

“Good. Then later, yes? I will be back by afternoon. Have a good day,” Nikolai offered.

“You too,” Elliot said, with his sweet smile.

Nikolai took his coffee and his bagged breakfast and left, all too aware that that smile would help keep him going throughout the day.

***

Nikolai stepped outside, back into the sunshine. He felt the warmth hit his skin, and he tilted his head up into it as he put space between him and the building.

Several of his people were inside, going through clean up. They’d be dragging men back to cars to be dumped elsewhere and then hosing away the blood.

The men he’d had a “ meeting” with today would live, because Nikolai was dedicated to that outcome, but it’d still been nasty business. One of the parts of the business he most hated.

But sometimes his father’s side of things demanded it.

It did a lot to keep the peace, he had to admit. This sort of thing was a greater good situation. Nikolai usually attended to most of the violence directly, so he could control just how it was applied.

Except today he couldn’t afford to have bloodied knuckles, because he knew it would make Elliot worry.

Not that stepping back and having someone else do things on his behalf made him feel any better.

Nikolai reminded himself again, that if he didn’t do this job, his father would just hire someone else to do it. Someone who would no doubt have far fewer scruples than Nikolai. There wouldn’t just be men beaten bloody, there’d be bodies.

And the careful application of violence today seemed to have worked.

These men had just been run-of-the-mill idiots who thought they could skim a little off the top.

But like the men working for Eisen who’d tried to short him on his stones, they were quick to find that men in power did not get there by accident.

At least in the mess with the gems, Eisen had taken care of it. Last Nikolai had heard, there was a new shipment on the way. Guaranteed authentic.

Nikolai felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he pulled it out. Gerard.

Gerard who knew what Nikolai was up to today.

He answered. Because what now? “Yes?”

“Looks like your favorite Italian managed to cough up the money for a plane,” Gerard said in Russian.

For fuck’s sake. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another. Nikolai rubbed his temples. “When is he coming back?”

“Next week, ” Gerald said. “Contact says he’s spending the time trying to raise the manpower to go after you.”

Next week…?

“Why isn’t he doing that once he’s back in the states?” It was much less trouble to pay the men he had here, wasn’t it? Why import them?

Gerard chuckled. “Little birdy told me it’s because he’s trying to avoid his family. They’re not all that fond of him right now. I think he’s gotten it into his head that if he kills you, it’ll get him back into their good graces.”

Nikolai didn’t groan, but he wanted to. “Oh for fuck’s sake.”

“At least it’ll be over in a week.” Gerard said, trying for levity. “You can get back to your life. No more looking over your shoulder.”

As if. “I always have to look over my shoulder,” he muttered. He’d had security on his payroll long before Vitale, and he’d have it on the payroll long after.

“Fine, well. No more having to share your space?” Gerard offered.

The reminder hit Nikolai harder than he expected it to.

“But I like sharing it with Elliot,” he said softly. The words came out before he knew they were going to.

There was a silence over the line. It grew weighty as Nikolai realized what he’d said. How he’d said it.

“Oh—fuck. Kolya ,” Gerard said, switching to English in his surprise. “Really?”