Page 52 of Pistols and Plush Toys

The bruising was still nasty to look at. It had gone green, like the ones on his face and throat, but the surface area was devastating. And still in the same horrible shape of boot marks, just as it had been last time Nikolai had seen it.

It made Nikolai’s blood boil, but he couldn’t show anger here. So instead Nikolai brought Sheep closer, pressing its fluffy nose to the top of the bruise, starting just under Elliot’s armpit.

“Sheep is sorry you are hurting,” Nikolai said, keeping his voice soft as he moved Sheep down, tracing the outer edges of the bruise.

Elliot shivered at the touch, but didn’t tense or pull away. His cheeks were back to looking bright red, but watching him closely, Elliot didn’t look like he wanted Nikolai to stop or go away.

So Nikolai let Sheep drop a few more kisses against the skin. He didn’t like Elliot hurt, but he liked this. He liked being the person Elliot might show his hurts too. The person Elliot might let touch his stuffed animals.

Nikolai liked Elliot. And it was so incredibly heady, to be given such trust.

No—he couldn’t allow himself to think such a thing. Because it didn’t matter . It didn’t matter what he liked, because Elliot was depending on him right now. For protection, for safety until Vitale was taken care of. Elliot wouldn’t be with Nikolai long term.

All of this was temporary, and Nikolai needed to remember that.

Nikolai cleared his throat and pressed Sheep back into Elliot’s arms and tried not to memorize how adorable Elliot looked like this, bruising aside, sitting on his bed and hugging his stuffed animal, looking up at Nikolai with his big hazel eyes.

“I will get you more cream for your bruising,” Nikolai said gruffly.

“Okay,” Elliot said, setting Sheep down to pull his sweater back on. “Thank you.”

Mentally Nikolai shook his head at himself. Just because he was having feelings didn’t mean he could be unkind to Elliot. Gentler he said, “I’m hoping you’re not bored while I’m in office today. We are having meetings about Lucky Clover. Many boring logistics, take many hours.”

Elliot picked Sheep back up, petting its fur. “Don’t worry,” he said, smiling now. “I’m working on something that’s going to keep me busy the rest of the afternoon.”

“Oh?” Nikolai asked, curious.

“It’s a secret,” Elliot said, holding his finger to his lips. He looked less shy now and more excited, as he did when they talked about food.

Nikolai liked to see it on him.

“Secret I’m knowing later?” Nikolai asked teasingly.

“Yeah,” Elliot said proudly. “So don’t worry about me.”

That was an impossible feat at this point, but Nikolai nodded as he got to his feet. “Then I’m going. See you at dinner.”

“See you at dinner,” Elliot said, waving a little.

Nikolai got to his office just in time for his phone to start buzzing with messages.

Meredith: So… how was the date?

Gerard: Alex thinks there might have been a tail

Meredith: Not what I was asking.

Gerard: you literally just asked how it went?? If there was a tail, I think that it was probably a success.

Meredith: my question was for Nikolai

Gerard: Oh, right. xD Kolya, how was the date?

Nikolai sat down in his chair and rubbed a hand over his face as he read through the messages.

Nikolai: was fine. Elliot is good company.

Meredith: Fine? Can I buy a few more adjectives?

Nikolai rolled his eyes.

Nikolai: fine, good, uneventful.

Gerard: Now who’s not answering the question.

Nikolai: Nothing to say. We go to dinner, we go to movie, we come home.

Gerard: How was the movie? What did you see?

Nikolai: Movie was fine. Was about men starting dog rescue.

Meredith: Isn’t that a romcom?

Gerard: it is, I just looked it up. A queer romcom, even

Meredith: How interesting!

Nikolai could practically hear those words in Meredith’s voice and see the amused, sarcastic slant of her mouth.

Nikolai : is what was playing.

Gerard: hmmmm…

Now Nikolai could see Gerard and his knowing smile. He grumbled to himself.

Nikolai: No “hmmm…” Was this not plan?

Meredith: We’re just curious! None of us have been on a date in the last… five years?

Gerard: I think it’s more like 7 for Kolya.

Meredith: 7 years. So I just wanted to know how things went.

Nikolai: went fine. Is just plan.

He glared at his screen.

Nikolai: is not real.

Gerard: do we believe him?

Meredith: I don’t know.

Nikolai wanted to stop talking about this. He wanted to stop thinking about last night, and how Elliot had lit up at the restaurant once he’d become more comfortable, and how engaged he’d been in the movie, and how soft he’d been when they’d wished each other good night.

Nikolai: We are doing meeting. Are we doing meeting?

Meredith: We have our meeting in five minutes if you look at the invite. I scheduled it.

Meredith: I just wanted to mention, if you need another date idea, the Fall Arts Festival is this next week. Gianna and Ezra are tabling for us, but Elliot might like the crafts. They always have a farmer’s market part too. Food, music.

Gerard: that sounds fun, I wanna go!

Meredith: you’re busy that weekend. You and I are marathoning the new season of Fardian, remember?

Gerard: oh, fuck yeah!! Did you book the massages for after?

Meredith: Of course I did.

Gerard: guess you’re just going to have to tell us how it is, Kolya…….

Nikolai: now is three minutes to meeting. We can start?

He got laughing emojis from the both of them. Nikolai rolled his eyes as he turned on his computer.

***

Nikolai saw Elliot just briefly at midday when he knocked at Nikolai’s office door. Ready to take a break from his emails if Elliot needed something, he was surprised when Elliot brought in a small tray with a sandwich and some sort of grape salad.

Nikolai smiled and thanked him, pleased and grateful. Not only because Elliot had thought of him enough to bring him lunch, but because it seemed as though whatever had been bothering Elliot that morning was nowhere to be found.

It did wonders for Nikolai’s tension, as even while he’d been managing both his jewelry stores and his father’s businesses, he’d still wondered what he’d done wrong.

It eased something in him, to know that he’d been forgiven.

And even after Elliot had slipped back out and closed the door behind him, some of that ease stayed with Nikolai the rest of the day.

The sandwich and grapes were delicious, and kept him working through email after email and altogether too many phone calls.

By the time Nikolai finished work hours later, he was grateful to have eaten lunch. In the thick of things he could forget to eat, and then was dragging himself around by the end of the day. That was often when he ordered something deep fried or covered in sugar.

But as he opened his office door, despite the beginnings of hunger, he wasn’t running on fumes. The scent of dinner cooking caught his attention. It was warm and vaguely familiar, and Nikolai followed the scent to the living room.

Surprisingly, Elliot was there on the sofa on his phone.

“Um, dinner is almost ready, but it’ll be another half hour,” Elliot said apologetically.

“Is okay, I’m just tired of working,” Nikolai said as he walked over to the couch. “Is okay if I’m watch something?”

Elliot had been comfortably reclined, but he sat up quickly at that. “Of course! It’s–it’s your house , I can go to the–”

“Maybe you stay?” Nikolai interrupted. It was nice to see Elliot out of his room, and Nikolai was in no hurry to see the man disappear again. “We can watch episode of Checklists, maybe? You were wanting to see, yes?”

“Oh!” Elliot perked up, the nerves leaving him. “Yeah, okay. I haven’t got to watch it yet.” He gave Nikolai a smile. “That sounds fun.”

“I hope it will be fun,” Nikolai said, returning that pretty smile. “I will pick good episode.”

Nikolai took a seat on the couch, leaving some distance between them, and picked up the remote. He turned on his TV and flicked through the selections, finding a season and episode he thought Elliot would like.

As it started, Elliot settled back against the couch, but this time his phone was set down beside him.

This episode of Checklists was a good one. The contestants had one hour and a watermelon, a box of uncooked pasta, and a bunch of bananas. They had to create the tallest tower that would hold a rubber duck on top.

As the contestants got through the explanation and started the assembly though, Nikolai found his attention on Elliot instead of the TV.

Elliot was smiling as the first contestant got the idea of peeling the bananas to use them as glue to stick pasta together, but quickly found the consistency too soft to hold anything up, and could not, in fact, put the bananas in their sturdier shell for use.

Elliot laughed as it got more and more ridiculous, one contestant trying to make a pyramid out of cut watermelon pieces, snapping the thin pasta they were attempting to use as the support structures.

His face and throat were still bruised, and he had to be still in pain, but it didn’t stop the way he laughed, the way his eyes crinkled with amusement as they watched the show.

It was so nice seeing him laugh, seeing him at ease in this space. Nikolai wondered how much laughter there’d been in his previous life.

Not enough.

That felt criminal. Elliot was so soft and sweet, and he deserved to be happy. The fact that anyone would look at him and not want to make him happy? Not want to make him laugh?

If only Nikolai could keep him like this.

He could keep making him happy, couldn’t he?

Coax more of those sweet smiles out of him.

For all his grumbling and groaning, Nikolai didn’t mind when Meredith and Gerard ganged up on him.

Being the butt of their friendly joking was its own sort of reward.

He liked his friends being happy. He especially liked being the cause of it.

Making Elliot laugh was far sweeter still.

Like a rush, a swelling inside his rib cage.