Page 43 of Pistols and Plush Toys

“What do I need in there?” Elliot asked, confused. He already had a phone.

“A computer,” Meredith said matter-of-factly. “How else will you find and keep recipes?”

“Oh, but—I mean, I can do that on my phone,” Elliot stammered.

“You can, but this will be easier.” Meredith said smoothly, starting to usher him toward the store. “I’m getting one whether you use it or not, so come on.”

And Elliot had no choice but to follow.

***

“Are you sure you really want to go through with the plan to be bait?” Meredith asked when the car pulled out of the mall parking lot.

“I’m sure.” Elliot said, as certain as he could. “If I can help—I want to help. If… if this stops Mattia from hurting someone else then… I want to do it.”

Elliot had never been brave, but he didn’t want to be a coward anymore.

She fixed him with a searching look. “You don’t owe us anything, Elliot.”

“I do though. I kind of owe you guys everything,” he said truthfully, hands curling together in his lap. “But I can do this. I want to do this. And I… I want a new life, without—without worrying if he’s still out there.”

Meredith was silent for a long time. “I understand,” she said finally. “But if you change your mind, that’s okay too. It’s whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“Thank you,” Elliot said. “For everything today. It was nice to get some new things. To, um, to buy some things that… that I wanted.”

Meredith smiled. “Good. You deserve it. And we’ll get your payment stuff set up this week, so then you’ll have direct access to your money.

” She slipped her phone out of her pocket, eyes on it.

From where he was Elliot could see the lock screen full of notifications.

“Although now, unfortunately, I need to answer some more emails. I’m sorry. ”

“No, that’s okay,” Elliot said quickly. “I’m fine, really.”

“No rest for the weary.” Meredith sighed and unlocked her phone.

Elliot turned back to his window and closed his eyes as the car headed back onto the highway, feeling the sun on his face. He felt… weirdly at ease. Safe.

Gerard had stayed with them all day, and the extra pair of eyes had helped. Gerard was in his forties like Nikolai, and despite his joking, there was a competency to him. It was the same feeling Elliot had around Nikolai. Like nothing bad could happen if Elliot just stayed close.

He understood the three of them better now, Nikolai and Meredith and Gerard. How they slotted together like puzzle pieces. He wondered what it was like to have such an old friendship. To have stable relationships that spanned almost half your life. People you could trust to keep you safe.

That sounded better than all the money in the world.

He opened his eyes to peer back at Meredith. There were smile lines at the corners of her mouth, a history in the way she held herself.

Elliot ached then with a kind of desire he’d never felt before.

To have this kind of lived-in life. Old friends and inside jokes and smile lines.

The kind of certainty that when you teased your friend or lover, they wouldn’t attack you for it.

Hit you for it. A life where he could make mistakes and be forgiven.

He could earn and spend the currency of friendship.

He thought a lot about that as they drove back to Nikolai’s house. About what he was volunteering to do, and how, if Nikolai succeeded, Elliot’s whole life would be different.

He was finding that a bit less scary than he had this morning.

By the time Alex parked the car, Nikolai was strolling out of the house. He and Alex went right to the trunk to grab the shopping and Elliot hurried to get out of the car to help.

Then he got a look at the very full trunk.

“There are so many…” Elliot frowned in confusion. “I didn’t—I didn’t buy this much.”

Then Meredith was beside him, flashing him an easy smile. “No, you didn’t. Gerard and I took the liberty of buying some of the things you passed on. Consider it a ‘thank you for taking care of Nikolai’ gift.”

“Looks like you did very good shopping,” Nikolai said in approval.

“Is that stuff from the kitchen store?” Elliot asked as Nikolai reached for the marked bags, nearly twice as many as there should’ve been.

“Gerard got you knives,” Meredith explained.

“W-what?” Elliot gaped.

“He had to,” Meredith said with a shrug. “He said to tell you that you deserve to have your own knives, and he picked out the best ones, according to you.”

“Did he?” Nikolai asked.

“He was pretty excited about it,” Meredith laughed.

Elliot looked between the two of them at a loss. He had no idea how many knives Gerard had gotten him, but even one of those knives would easily be the most expensive thing Elliot had ever owned, much less something like a set.

“Is good Gerard goes with you to get knives,” Nikolai said, hoisting up three bags in each hand in a display of easy strength. “He is knowing about weapons, not so much about cooking. Maybe you teach him something. Also, so far you’re not stab me even little bit, so is fine.”

Meredith laughed as Elliot stared at him, then at all the bags. Alex was already loaded up with some of the clothing bags, and had the box Elliot’s new laptop had come in in his other hand.

“Come, we bring inside,” Nikolai said, and Elliot scrabbled to grab the few bags left. Meredith closed up the trunk behind them.

They stopped by the kitchen first, to drop off everything from the cooking store, though Alex continued on through the house, presumably to set his burden down in Elliot’s room.

“I think this is where I’ll say goodbye,” Meredith said, giving Elliot a smile. “Have fun arranging your kitchen. And I know you just bought that pasta maker and the ice cream maker—but let me know if you need anything else, or any other new appliances.”

“Oh, n-no!” Elliot said quickly, because they’d already bought him more than enough. “This is fine. Nikolai already has everything.”

“Still,” Meredith said. “This is your domain now, so if you do think of anything, let me know.”

“Ice cream maker?” Nikolai asked, perking up.

Meredith’s snort of a laugh was inelegant and charming. “Of course that’s what you focus on.”

“Ice cream is good thing to focus on,” Nikolai said, tilting his chin stubbornly.

“Anyway,” Meredith said pointedly, turning back to Elliot. “It was nice to finally meet you. I’ll send you the employment contract just as soon as I’m back at my computer.”

“Okay, um, yes, thank you!” Elliot smiled at her. “A-and it was nice to meet you too. Thank you for—for everything.”

“It was my pleasure,” she said. “Night, Nikolai.”

“Night Meredith,” Nikolai said. “Thank you.”

And then she was gone.

“I’m take the rest to your room,” Nikolai said. “They are clothing?”

“Wait—” Elliot went to grab the bags, but Nikolai had already scooped them up. All Elliot could do was follow, cheeks hot, as they walked through the house to his room.

Alex had indeed left the other bags there on Elliot’s bed.

There was so much stuff .

“You get many good thing. I’m glad,” Nikolai said as he placed the bags he was carrying on Elliot’s bed. “You have long day, so rest and I’m order dinner. Okay?”

“I can cook,” Elliot said weakly. They’d bought him so many things today, and he was semi-officially a hired chef now. The least he could do was cook!

But Nikolai was already waving him off. “You cook when kitchen is not full of shopping. Tomorrow maybe, when after you have put everything away. I’m wanting pizza anyway. What kind you are wanting?”

“Um. Cheese for me, please.” Elliot said. Pizza was one of the things he really couldn’t make. The best pizza, Elliot thought, was made with a wood fired brick oven, which Nikolai didn’t have, but the place they ordered from did. “But… tomorrow? I can cook?”

Nikolai paused at the door, a soft smile on his lips as he looked Elliot over. “Yes, tomorrow. But now rest, okay? Shopping is very tiring. Is why I always send Meredith. And I will get you when there is pizza, okay?”

“Okay,” Elliot said, licking his lips.

Nikolai nodded and left the room.

Alone now, Elliot stared at the pile of shopping. He felt both grateful and guilty that all this stuff was his.

Nikolai had been right; Elliot was tired. He sort of did just want to collapse onto the bed. But he couldn’t do that with all the bags piled upon it. At the very least he should put everything away first.

For the next half an hour, Elliot reorganized the dresser and closet to fit all of his new things, putting in jeans and loungewear and T-shirts and button ups.

In all of the bags he found additional socks, shirts, and bottoms he hadn’t bought.

Pretty much anything Elliot had expressed even a passing interest in, Meredith had secretly snuck in.

When he was finally finished, he collapsed upon his bed. His phone pinged a moment later and he pulled it out of his pocket. There was a text from Nikolai that pizza had just arrived.

Elliot replied that he’d be right there, but before he could slip his phone back into his pocket, an email notification caught his eye.

It was from Dr. Williams.

When Elliot opened it, there was an attachment that had the results of his blood work and STD panel.

And everything looked good . Normal levels and nothing of note on the STD panel.

Elliot let out a huge whoosh of breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. That was a relief. That was such a huge relief.

He supposed if he was really looking at moving forward, toward a new life, he’d get to decide what that looked like now. Not what Mattia wanted for him, what Mattia decided for him, but what Elliot wanted for himself .

But what… what did he want?