Page 48 of Pistols and Plush Toys

“Thank you,” Elliot said, feeling foolish for not thinking to reach for the box himself. He blew his nose, then used a second tissue to mop up most of his face. “Sorry again. For waking you.”

“Is nothing,” Nikolai said softly. “Glad you are okay. Safe.” Sheep, who was at Elliot’s other shoulder now, moved in gently, so gently, and nuzzled against his cheek.

Elliot let out a long breath, and his tension went with it. Now the emotions had finally passed.

Exhaustion immediately started pulling him back down.

“You should be getting more sleep,” Nikolai said. “I can stay. Make sure you are safe.”

That…

That sounded nice.

Elliot nodded and started to shuffle back down. He felt selfish for asking this of Nikolai, but he couldn’t make himself turn the offer away. He wanted to feel safe enough to sleep. And…

And Nikolai made him feel safe.

When he was laying down, Nikolai very carefully tucked Apricot, Sheep, and Max around him.

“Sleep Elliot,” Nikolai murmured. “I’m here.”

When Elliot shut his eyes, he was comforted by the weight on the bed beside him, the sound of Nikolai breathing. He was here with Elliot, which meant that Nikolai was safe too.

Elliot reached out blindly and found Max, cuddling the bear in close. Max, who was whole again.

Elliot wished it was so easy for him to feel whole again.

Before long, he started to drift off again. This time his sleep was dreamless.

***

The next day was Friday, so Nikolai suggested a dinner-and-a-movie date when they met for breakfast. A simple outing, but effective if there were anyone on Vitale’s payroll watching Nikolai.

Nikolai spent the day working, popping in and out of the house to take care of things, and Elliot busied himself in the kitchen.

He didn’t have to cook since there were leftovers, but he spent the time reorganizing the kitchen and setting up a calendar of recipes on his new computer so he could better order groceries ahead of time.

Then it was five and Elliot was ‘finished with work.’ He returned to his bedroom to pull on one of the nicer outfits Meredith had helped pick out for him. When finished, he took a seat on his bed, gathering up Max to give him a squeeze.

“It’s just dinner and a movie,” he told Max. “And Nikolai is perfectly capable. Alex is going to be around just in case, and Mattia isn’t even in the country right now. Nothing bad will happen.”

Max didn’t reply, but somehow talking to him made Elliot feel better anyway. Max was okay, so Elliot would be okay.

Almost an hour later Alex pulled the car into a downtown parking garage instead of dropping them off on the curb. Since he was on security detail, he’d be tailing them at a distance to the restaurant.

Nothing was going to go wrong, but if something did, Nikolai would have backup.

Elliot had picked the restaurant at Nikolai’s encouragement, and he’d chosen an Italian restaurant with a strong menu that he’d only eaten at once years and years ago.

Tonight Elliot was dressed in a button up and slacks, and Nikolai had gone with the same, but had added an evening jacket. As they got out of the car, Elliot regretted not grabbing a jacket of his own. He’d underestimated how cool the evening was.

“Cold?” Nikolai asked as he slid an arm around Elliot, guiding him toward the stairwell to exit the parking garage. Alex hung back.

“No, I’m fine,” Elliot replied automatically. It was a short walk to the restaurant anyway, so he’d be okay. He tried his best not to tense at the touch of Nikolai’s arm around him. To not to hear Mattia’s voice in his ear.

Touching was the point. The plan. When Mattia came back, Nikolai and his people would be ready. No one was going to hurt Nikolai. Alex was with them, and both Meredith and Gerard knew where they were going and when. They were as safe as they could be.

For the two block walk Elliot repressed the shivers and did his best to ignore the anxious tension coiled inside him. When a sleek black car rolled down the street as they walked, he automatically tensed.

“Is okay,” Nikolai said in his ear. Elliot tried to believe him.

Still, he was glad when they got to the restaurant.

The place was small and cozy, and as he and Nikolai were seated in one of the private booths near the back, Elliot pretended like he didn’t see Alex coming to get his own table.

Elliot had already looked over the menu earlier in the day when he’d chosen the place, so when the waiter came by after their drink orders, they both ordered their food as well.

“Is okay,” Nikolai said again when the waiter left. “You are safe.”

Nikolai reached across the table and Elliot forced himself not to pull his hand back. He wanted the touch and it was part of the plan, but he couldn’t shake the memory of the nightmare.

He just kept seeing Nikolai in that cage. Mattia above him with the knife.

Nikolai took his hand, a warm, strong presence wrapping around him. There were scars on his hands too, but less noticeable than the ones on his arms. The gold of his rings glimmered in the table's candlelight.

“I know,” Elliot managed. “I just–I know the point is for someone to see us, but I just keep feeling eyes on us.”

Nikolai hummed in acknowledgment. “Many are for making you safe.”

“Yeah, I know. I just…” he sank his teeth into his lower lip, eyes downcast.

“Elliot, no biting please,” Nikolai said quietly.

Elliot hadn’t even realized he’d done so. “Sorry,” he said miserably.

“I think is my job to distract you, maybe,” Nikolai said. He tapped his cheek, humming, and then his face brightened. “I know. Since you liked seeing pictures of my jewelry.”

“Yeah?” Elliot asked, ready to try to be distracted, if Nikolai was offering something up.

Still holding Elliot’s hand, Nikolai put his other hand on the table, turning his wrist to showcase the cufflink on his jacket. “You see? My favorite cufflinks. Gerard, he gives me gift many years ago.”

“They’re nice,” Elliot said, realizing that he’d seen the cufflinks before.

He just hadn’t paid them much attention.

Despite being with Mattia for so many years, he’d never had much interest in formal wear.

Maybe because most of it just seemed like too much work when he’d personally rather be in the kitchen, his hands working with food. “Were they made by your artisans?”

Nikolai chuckled. “Yes, but also they are more special than that.”

Then he was leaning in, and Elliot couldn’t help mirroring it. They were suddenly very close, and he felt his cheeks heat.

“There is secret,” Nikolai whispered, meeting Elliot’s eyes. Elliot’s stomach fluttered, forgetting his fear and anxiety of being watched. “They are cufflinks, but also lockpicks.”

“What? Really?” Elliot looked down again, curious.

“Yes,” Nikolai nodded. “My father he–he liked to surprise me. There were tests if I could get free. After I leave Russia, I’m carrying lockpicks with me all the time. Gerard thought these were better. Stylish and practical.”

“Wow,” Elliot said, looking at the little pieces of jewelry with greater appreciation. “That’s a really thoughtful gift.”

“Yes,” Nikolai said again, smiling. “Gerard, he have them custom made. He’s say to me with gift, ‘I’m wanting you safe.

Maybe is little bit funny you’re always needing lockpicks, but see?

I’m caring enough to make sure you can have them this way.

’” Nikolai sat back in his seat, his hand sliding out of Elliot’s.

“If you’re not trusting me, you can trust Gerard, or most capable person we are ever knowing, Meredith.

You think she let us be fools? No. You see? ”

Elliot had to admit, all that did make him feel better. “None of you are fools,” Elliot said affectionately.

“Maybe sometimes,” Nikolai said easily. “But not for this.”

***

“You are cold,” Nikolai said when they came out of the restaurant and Elliot immediately shivered.

Before he could protest, Nikolai was slipping off his jacket and folding it over Elliot’s shoulders.

“I’m fine—” Elliot tried.

“No, you are cold,” Nikolai said. “And is three blocks to theater.”

Elliot opened his mouth to protest further, but then that arm was wrapping back around him, enveloping him in Nikolai’s warm, cognac scent, and Elliot gave up. Nikolai's jacket was too big for him, but perfect like this, blanketing him against the cool night air.

“Is better?” Nikolai asked.

Elliot nodded.

“Good,” Nikolai said, sounding satisfied. “Now we go to movie.”

As they walked, Elliot couldn’t help but think about how nice the dinner had been. But not because of the food—though that had been quite good. No, it was the fact that it had been dinner with Nikolai. Nikolai was so easy to talk to, especially once he’d managed to make Elliot forget his nerves.

And Nikolai seemed to like listening to Elliot talk.

Certainly he let Elliot go on about food often enough, which was the main thing Elliot liked to talk about.

But Nikolai never seemed like he was faking his interest either.

He always asked relevant and thoughtful questions, and often made reference to things Elliot had already told him.

Was that what it was supposed to be like with Mattia all along? If Elliot had known what he was missing, maybe he wouldn’t have stuck around so long. Maybe–

Elliot was jerked out of his thoughts by Nikolai's hand sliding away from his back and finding his own hand under the jacket. Elliot clamped down on a fluttery feeling rising inside him as Nikolai linked their hands together.

He really needed to stop comparing Nikolai to Mattia. For one thing, he and Nikolai weren’t actually dating. None of their dates were real. Even if Nikolai was being kind to him, tonight was still a performance. Nikolai was playing the part of a doting boyfriend.

But warmth kept bubbling up through him as they walked, despite the chill in the evening air.