Page 47 of Pistols and Plush Toys

Nikolai was in the cage.

Elliot could see him from across the room. He tried to go to him, and got two strides before the chain around his ankle stopped him. Elliot looked down in shock, eyes following the chain length back to the stone wall where it was attached.

Where was he? What was going on? His eyes flickered back to Nikolai who lay unmoving in the cage. It was huge, a barred monstrosity in the middle of the dark room.

Footsteps sounded out in the dark. Elliot knew even before he saw him that it was Mattia. Fear shook a cry loose from his throat.

Mattia looked exactly as he had last time Elliot had seen him in the apartment. His presence loomed larger than life. He had an ugly, cruel smile on his lips and a knife in his hand.

“I told you what would happen,” Mattia sneered as he strode toward the cage. “You’re mine, remember?”

“No! Mattia please!” Elliot pulled against the chain, and it cut into his leg. His heart was pounding, the air tight in his lungs. He felt like he was moving in slow motion as he watched Mattia get to the front of the cage and open the door.

Nikolai was still unmoving on the ground.

“I saw the way he touched you,” Mattia spat. “The way you wanted him to touch you, you filthy, cheating whore.”

“N-no! No please–it wasn’t–Mattia it’s not like that–!” Tears burned down Elliot’s cheeks. He remembered that threat. Mattia had been fucking him—

—no. Raping him.

And he’d whispered into Elliot’s ear. “If that man ever touches you again, I’ll kill him, and I’ll make you watch.”

“Are you watching?” Mattia asked, smirking now as he stepped into the cage. “This is all your fault, so I want to make sure you get to see. I might’ve let him live, but you betrayed me. You let him touch you. Fuck you. Now he’s going to pay for touching what’s mine.”

“Please, I-I didn’t—” Elliot begged. “We never d-did anything—p-please Mattia!”

Mattia held up the knife consideringly. It was a large thing, and Elliot suddenly recognized it from Nikolai's kitchen. A fine piece of metal and wickedly sharp.

“We’ll start slow,” Mattia said as he bent down over Nikolai's prone form. “We wouldn’t want him to bleed out too quickly.”

Mattia touched the tip of the knife to Nikolai’s right arm, then turned his head to look at Elliot, to make sure he was watching.

Elliot knew what came next, and he couldn’t stop it.

Couldn’t stop anything Mattia did.

It was all his fault, all his fault—!

Mattia pressed the blade in, and Elliot screamed.

Elliot shot up in bed, gasping raggedly. His whole body heaved with an adrenaline filled sob as he reached around desperately in the dark for Nikolai. But he wasn’t there. No one was.

Because Elliot wasn’t in that horrible room. He was in a bed. His bed.

He’d been asleep.

The relief he felt still couldn’t stop the sobs that wracked his body. The dream was still so close. So real.

Elliot curled himself up into a ball under the covers with just his head poking out, shaking, the dread and helplessness sitting in his chest like a lead weight. Just a dream, but he knew how based on reality it had been. Knew exactly what Mattia would do, if he ever got Nikolai in his clutches—

There was movement out of the corner of his eye. A dark shape in the doorway.

Elliot screamed. On instinct he scrambled back until he hit the headboard hard.

“P-please no—please, I’m s-sorry–” His voice was wet, wrecked, and he stumbled over the words even as he held his hands out to guard himself.

“Shhh, Elliot, shhh,” a voice came, soft and deep. Then the light flickered on low.

It wasn’t Mattia.

Struggling to catch his breath, Elliot managed a small, “Nikolai?”

Nikolai was dressed in his sleep shirt and shorts as he stepped further into the room, his short hair wild and sleep flattened on one side. It was clear he’d all but tumbled out of bed when he’d heard the racket Elliot had been making.

“Was nightmare?” Nikolai asked as he approached the side of the bed, hands up to placate.

Elliot sniffled and rubbed a hand across his wet face. He was shaking, the fear clinging to him like shadows. “Y-yeah. I’m s-sorry, did I wake you?”

“I am hearing screaming,” Nikolai said. “Was worried.”

“I’m sorry,” Elliot said again, hiccuping on another sob. “It was j-just a nightmare.” He wrapped his arms around himself. Fuck, he was such a mess. It hadn’t been real, none of it had been real but…

“I’m sorry you were having nightmare,” Nikolai said, taking a careful perch on the bed beside him. A cautious hand touched Elliot’s shoulder.

It was meant for comfort, but Elliot jerked back, as if burned.

If that man ever touches you again…

“Ah, sorry,” Nikolai said, pulling his hand back. He didn’t even look upset, and that was the worst of all.

“No, I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean—it’s not you, I-I’m sorry—” Elliot didn’t know what to say. Explaining himself would mean he’d have to tell Nikolai what Mattia had said to him.

Had… had done to him.

He heard himself make a wounded sound and bit his lip hard to keep any more from escaping.

“Shhh, is okay,” Nikolai said quietly, making no further movement to touch Elliot. “Is okay, Elliot.”

“I’m sorry—” Elliot gasped.

“You’re not having to apologize,” Nikolai said, holding up his hands. “Okay?”

Elliot sniffed and wiped at his face. “I just…”

He trailed off into miserable silence.

“I have idea,” Nikolai said, after the silence had stretched out. He stood up. “Okay? Be right back.”

Once he’d left, more tears slid down Elliot’s cheeks.

He was such a mess. He wanted the comfort Nikolai had tried to offer, but he couldn’t let himself have it.

Mattia wasn’t here, but somehow it felt like he would know.

Like the next time he saw Elliot he would be able to see in a glance how many times Elliot had let Nikolai touch him.

After all, wasn’t that the plan? Wasn’t that what they were taunting Mattia with?

Fuck. What if he was making a mistake agreeing to the plan? What if—what if—

Then Nikolai was returning. He had a dark shape in hand.

“Max?” Elliot croaked, taking in the bear.

“Is fixed,” Nikolai said, taking his seat again as he offered the bear. “He come before, but I forget. Sorry.”

Elliot couldn’t help it, more tears squeezed from his eyes. His arms unlocked and he took Max, crushing him to his chest. “It’s okay,” he mumbled through tears, burying his wet face against the soft fur of the bear.

No one had ever offered him a stuffed animal for comfort before. Not since he was a literal kid.

But Nikolai had. Nikolai had seen Elliot flinch from him, from a comforting touch, and so instead he’d brought Elliot Max. A way to offer touch without contact.

Nikolai was possibly the most thoughtful person Elliot had ever known.

The blankets moved, and when Elliot peered up beyond Max, he could see Nikolai reaching around him carefully to find Apricot and Sheep.

Gently, so gently as to not touch Elliot, he tucked one on each side of him, right up against his hips.

It was almost like getting a real hug. Like being surrounded in comfort.

“T-thank you,” Elliot said when he could speak.

“I’m sorry you are upset,” Nikolai said, still speaking low. “You want to talk?”

Elliot bit his lip and then made himself release it. “I just had a nightmare. About Mattia. About… about the plan not working.”

That was sort of the truth. His lip wobbled, and he took a deep breath. His arms squeezed around Max. Stupidly, he was so, so glad that Max was fixed. He’d been hurt by Mattia too, in a roundabout way.

And Nikolai had said he was going to fix Max, and he had.

Nikolai reached slowly for Sheep and picked him up. He pressed Sheep’s nose to Elliot’s shoulder. “Plan will work. Mattia will not hurt you any more.”

Elliot swallowed and thought about he’s going to pay for touching what’s mine . “I don’t want anyone else to get hurt either.”

“I know,” Nikolai murmured. Sheep pressed another kiss to Elliot’s shoulder and then a line down his arm.

Elliot had to suppress a shiver as Sheep’s soft nose brushed over his bare skin.

“We are doing best to avoid it. But you are safe, Elliot. We go through employee records again, but just in case, only Alex and Pyotr come here now. Maybe Katyana sometimes.”

Elliot nodded. He believed Nikolai when he said Elliot was safe. He did.

But.

“What if he hurts you?” Elliot asked, his voice small.

Sheep trailed down his other arm, and when he got close enough to his hand, Elliot allowed himself to release Max and offered his palm. Sheep’s soft nose nuzzled there.

“He won’t,” Nikolai said firmly. “Vitale, he is not strong man. Is coward. His family are wanting him to go away. He has no friends, no loyalty. I have both. Gerard and Meredith would not let me die.”

Nikolai made it sound so simple. Like it was a foregone conclusion.

Elliot turned his hand over to brush across Sheep’s soft fur. “I just don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me. Because I’m hiding away here like a coward.”

“You are not coward,” Nikolai said, in a tone that brooked no argument. “You are very brave. Very strong.”

Elliot almost laughed. He was curled up pathetically in his bed, having sweat through his shirt from a nightmare. He felt the exact opposite of strong and brave. “I’m not.”

“You are,” Nikolai said, in that same firm tone. “Brave, strong man. You were hurt. Is hard to be brave again after that. But you’re leaving with me when I come for you. Very brave. I think so many times.”

This time, as Sheep stroked back up his arm, Elliot leaned a bit more into it. “I was just too afraid to stay,” he said quietly. “Afraid of what–what he’d do next.”

Nikolai scowled darkly before he shook his head and cleared his expression. “Very brave,” he said again.

Elliot sniffed again and Sheep paused where it was still touching his elbow. A moment later Nikolai was reaching out to snag the box of tissues on Elliot’s bedside table. He offered the box to Elliot.