Page 40 of Pistols and Plush Toys

Elliot opened his mouth, closed it, and then took a bite of quiche to buy himself some time. Nikolai was pleased to see it. Pleased that Elliot’s instinct was to put food in his mouth now, instead of leaving it on his plate.

“I’m being right back. They are very good,” Nikolai said as he stood up with his plate. He went to the counter and loaded up with three more quiches, and when he got back Elliot was through one of his own.

“I… that’s very generous,” Elliot said slowly, voice small, eyes down on Nikolai's plate like he couldn’t believe Nikolai had gone back for seconds. “But I can’t… I don’t have…”

Money. Right, of course. Elliot had been reluctant to accept gifts, but if his prior experience with gift giving was Vitale…

“You’re my chef, so you have salary now for shopping,” Nikolai said. “Is what I’m just saying. And I take care of people who work for me. I’m get you what you need to be happy here–to be good at your job. Maybe Meredith will say better than me.”

He would have to text Meredith after breakfast, catch her up on all of this. She could convince Elliot to buy a laptop too, because he’d need one for recipes and research. Meredith was good at stuff like that. She could sell water to a fish.

Elliot was looking down at his second quiche doubtfully instead of loading up another bite on his fork. Maybe Nikolai had spoken too soon.

Elliot needed to eat more. He was still far too thin.

“I take care of my people.” Nikolai said again gently, grasping for a way to steer the conversation to easier waters. A memory popped into his head. “All my people. If Meredith wants spa day, she’s get spa day. If Gerard wants goat, he’s get goat.”

That caught Elliot’s attention. “A… goat? Why does Gerard want a goat?”

Nikolai nodded seriously, keeping a straight face.

“Gerard big man, scary like me, but he’s liking cute things.

Shh is secret.” He held a finger to his lips and was very pleased indeed when Elliot giggled.

“He thinks little goats very cute, show me many pictures. So for his birthday three years ago, I send him to baby goat farm.”

“What?” Elliot’s eyes were crinkled in amusement, and his fork was now poised over the quiche.

“Baby goat farm,” Nikolai kept going. “They also have adult goat, but baby is for activities. You pet, you feed, and you do goat yoga.”

“Goat yoga?” Elliot repeated, before popping a bite of quiche into his mouth. Inwardly, Nikolai smiled.

“Yes. You know yoga?” When Elliot nodded and took another bite, Nikolai continued, “is not for me, but Gerard, he’s try with the goats, and they climb on him.

Meredith has pictures, they are very good.

Many goats like him, is very funny. Maybe because Gerard is big like mountain, so he is easy to climb. Goats like climbing very much.”

Elliot covered his mouth with his hand, holding back the laughter as he finished his next bite, but Nikolai could still see his smile in the way his eyes crinkled.

Immeasurably pleased, Nikolai finished with, “it was good gift. Maybe best gift I give Gerard. So I’m say, Gerard, he gets goat if goat makes him happy. Also you should get things to be happy.”

Elliot looked away bashfully, reaching for the bowl of melon to spoon some onto his plate.

There was a moment of silence and then, “You’re not, you know,” Elliot said quietly.

“Not what?” Nikolai asked.

“Scary.” Elliot looked up, meeting Nikolai's eyes. “I… you are when you need to be. But being here with you isn’t scary anymore. You… you make me feel safe.”

Warmth spread in his chest, better than anything Nikolai could’ve gotten from his liquor cabinet. “Is good,” Nikolai said as he picked up his fork again to eat. “You should be safe.”

He watched Elliot take a bite of melon and thought that breakfast had been very much a success.

***

After breakfast was finished and tidied up, Elliot went back to his room.

He still wasn’t comfortable being out and about in the house, but for the moment Nikolai was leaving it be.

He went to his own office to briefly look through his schedule for the day while he texted Meredith to catch her up on everything.

They arranged that she’d come by in about an hour to take Elliot out, accompanied by Alex. It would leave Nikolai the entire afternoon to take care of business. Which was good, because it meant Nikolai could go and handle the dirtier side of things and be back before Elliot was finished.

With that settled, Nikolai went to Elliot’s room to tell him of the plans. When he got to Elliot’s door it was cracked open, and Nikolai’s hand, poised to knock, paused.

Elliot was sitting in the window seat on the far side of the room, tucked up against the pillows, a puzzle book against his knees and Apricot in his lap. The sun was just beginning to come in on that side of the house, casting the whole scene in a golden softness.

Nikolai’s eyes lingered on Apricot, the small giraffe plush toy that at some point Elliot had stopped hiding from him.

Perhaps the most precious thing Elliot owned.

Nikolai had only touched Apricot once, but he knew the stuffed animal was old the way the fur had long lost its gloss.

There’d been a few scrapes on its black eyes, further evidence of its history.

There was a story there that was private and all their own, but Nikolai wondered about it. Elliot must’ve had the stuffed animal for years. Before Vitale.

What had Vitale thought about Apricot?

It couldn’t be positive. He remembered the first few times he’d seen Apricot, and Elliot’s resulting nervousness. It spoke of shame. Of cruelty.

Not that that was at all a reach for Vitale.

Some men saw soft things and wanted to crush them for no other reason than because they could. Nikolai had seen it often enough growing up, how softness threatened some men’s masculinity, at what they perceived to be their power.

Under his father’s heavy hand, nothing had been soft. Nikolai had never been allowed tenderness or openness. Never been allowed to have toys or childish items.

Nikolai liked that Elliot did. That despite everything he’d gone through, Elliot had managed to keep Apricot safe, no doubt hidden. He’d stowed away this secret part of himself to keep it whole.

Someday he’d ask Elliot to tell him about his stuffed animals. About how Apricot had come to be with him. Maybe Elliot would even think him trustworthy enough to share.

His gaze drifted up to Elliot’s face. To the deep purple bruising that the sunshine couldn’t soften. It made Nikolai sick to his stomach every time he learned more about how Vitale had put him through hell.

Which led him back to Gerard’s plan. He needed to at least bring it up. See with his own eyes how Elliot felt.

He rapped his knuckles gently on the door.

Elliot didn’t startle, just turned his head, lifting his pen off the paper. He didn’t move to hide Apricot from Nikolai's eyes.

“I’m talk to Meredith,” Nikolai said first. “She will be by in one hour to pick you up.”

“Oh,” Elliot said. “Okay.”

Nikolai wanted to turn and retreat, to put this off, but he made himself stay. “There is… something else I’m wanting to talk to you about.”

His tone must have cued Elliot in on the seriousness of the topic, because he closed the book and set it aside, turning more completely toward Nikolai. His arms curled around Apricot, and Nikolai was glad Elliot had him.

“We’re getting news Vitale is in Italy,” Nikolai said.

That got Elliot to curl further into himself, expression tensing.

“First I’m thinking, okay, wait for Vitale to come back. But that will take time maybe, who knows,” Nikolai said. “So Gerard, he is saying maybe we could try different plan.” He sighed. “Is not bad plan. Probably would work I think. But it… involves you, and I’m not wanting to ask too much.”

“Me?” Elliot asked, sounding nervous.

“Nothing that involves you with Vitale,” Nikolai said quickly. “Gerard, he thinks… if we go out, you and me, if Vitale sees you with me, he’ll come back.”

A dozen emotions flickered across Elliot’s face. He landed somewhere near disbelief. “Sees me with you? Like working together?”

Nikolai shook his head. “Gerard thinks... if it looks like we’re on dates, then Vitale will get angry. Jealous. And come back.”

Elliot’s eyes grew wide, and his cheeks went pink. “Dating. Oh .”

“I’m saying is bad idea,” Nikolai said. “You have been hurt many times. But… Meredith thinks also it would work. “

“What do you think?” Elliot asked, searching his face. “If you—if you weren’t worried about me being hurt?”

Nikolai sighed again. “I’m thinking… Gerard and Meredith, they’re not wrong. Probably it would work. Vitale, he is jealous man, and he hates me. If he’s hearing you and I were together now, I’m think he would fly back to try to kill me himself.”

He watched Elliot bite his lip and then seemingly remember he wasn’t supposed to, and let go.

His hands instead moved across Apricot’s fur, petting it.

“I don’t want anyone else to get hurt,” Elliot said.

His voice sounded brittle. “I don’t want you to get hurt either.

But if you think this would help, I-I can help. What would we be… doing?”

One of Nikolai’s hands slipped down into his pocket to fiddle with the lock picks there.

“Nothing very hard. We would go out to eat together, maybe you would come with me to jewelry store. Be seen together in public, maybe… maybe holding hands, or my arm around you, so it would look like yes, dating.”

Elliot licked his lips. “That doesn’t, um, sound too difficult.”

“No? I’m glad dating me would be easy,” Nikolai said, trying to lighten the mood. He sobered. “I’m just not wanting you hurt again.”

Elliot’s fingers clutched tighter at Apricot’s fur. “But it would help? To get Mattia to come back so…”

“So I would deal with him,” Nikolai said. “So he’s not going to hurt anyone ever again.”

Elliot swallowed. “Right.”

“I’m not wanting you to decide right now,” Nikolai said, trying to sound gentle. “Is serious, I know. I’m just wanting to say to you now, so you know that… is an idea.”

Elliot’s brows were knit, but he all he said was, “Um, okay. Thank you for telling me. I’ll… I’ll think about it.”

Nikolai nodded. “Have good time with Meredith. Buy everything you need, okay? You are my chef now, don’t forget. My chef needs many nice thing.”

“Are you working today?” Elliot asked. Nikolai let him change the subject. Meredith would do a better job at convincing Elliot to buy what he needed.

“Yes,” he said. “Things I’m putting off, that I’m needing to do now. But will be home for dinner, so I will see you then.”

“Okay,” Elliot said. He smiled. “I’ll make you a good dinner to look forward to.”

“I’m always looking forward to your cooking,” Nikolai said dumbly.

Elliot’s smile got brighter, and Nikolai took the memory of that smile with him as he left the house to start making his rounds. He had work to do.

But Elliot would be waiting for him at home when he was done.