Page 4

NOEL

“Honey, you were amazing!” I slide off my duffle bag as I step through the front door and give my mom a shy smile. She pulls me into a quick hug. “You fence so confidently! I'm proud of you, baby. I took lots of pictures so I can show you off to my friends.”

I groan. “Great.” She shows off a dimple in her cheek when she smiles up at me. With me being significantly taller than her small, petite frame, it's amusing. I shake my head in exasperation, hating being in the spotlight, and showered with compliments. “Do you want me to make us dinner?”

She walks over to the small island top in our kitchen and sits down. “Nope. I made us BLT sandwiches in the fridge, so just eat when you're hungry. I have to head into work early tomorrow morning, so I'm going to bed soon. Do you have plans? It's Friday, you know. Nothing going on with your teammates?” She gives me an inquiring, probing glance, her eyelashes fluttering up at me.

“Um, no. No plans. But if that changes, I'll let you know.”

“Alright, Friday night in,” she says, unsurprisingly. “Oh, what episode are you on now?”

Taking off my shoes, I perk up at her question. “I just finished it. It was…cute?”

She laughs. “That's it? You thought it was cute? C'mon!”

I place my shoes but the door and head into the small, but open kitchen, opening the fridge and spotting the sandwiches wrapped in aluminum foil. “It was funny too. I liked their family dynamic. It was wholesome.” I turn back to face her, pulling out the food.

She nods, agreeing with me. “I forget we have very different tastes in anime.”

“Yeah, you like slice of life and family-friendly, wholesome stuff, while I love shonen fantasy.” I smile. “But I didn't hate it.”

Mom doesn't quite understand my obsession with space, which she tries her best to keep up with my ramblings, but with anime, we share that obsession. Even go to cosplay conventions together.

“We can start that new one you talked to me about after I get off work tomorrow?”

I nod a couple times, looking forward to it. “Yeah, let's do that.” I sit down, unwrapping the foil.

Mom stands, giving me a shoulder squeeze with a quick kiss on my cheek before leaving for her room.

I eat in silence, thinking back on the day and what transpired with Alex.

The almost fight. The mandatory practices I'll have with Alex, one on one. The way I accepted without complaint for whatever reason.

Ignoring Alex has been my go-to since he came back. He has no idea who I am, and I have zero plans on telling him.

When I do have to see him, I'm usually pissed off and aggravated to be near him. He thinks it's funny, so he continues to mess with me by standing too close, starting up conversations that I don't reciprocate, or teasing me relentlessly.

On his quiet days, he ignores me completely. He ignores everyone, really. Those days are a blessing. But… there's always this stupid, niggling, invasive thought buried deep inside me that I'm a little disappointed he's not trying to irritate me.

Because I like his attention.

Ugh.

Because if his attention is on me, then he must like something about me. And why the hell do I care about that?

I don't.

I finish my food and wash my hands in the kitchen sink, cleaning up a bit before heading to my room.

I'm already clean from my shower I took after the competition, so I lay down on top of my made bed, staring up at my ceiling that still has glow in the dark stars everywhere.

It's still too early to go to sleep, so I reach for my laptop.

Content with my plans on watching anime until I fall asleep, I settle against my pillows, with my laptop on the left side of my body.

A couple episodes into my recent show, my phone vibrates in my pocket.

Reaching inside my deep pockets, I see there's a text.

Which is surprising because no one texts me.

Fence? The text reads from an unknown number.

“What the fuck?” I whisper to myself, knowing who it is. I sit up automatically, pulling the nonexistent text thread up where we have never texted before. My hands begin to shake, my stomach curling with nausea as the unmistakable anxiety attack hits.

Shit, calm down! It's just a text!

Which he's never done before.

We literally just got home a few hours ago, and he's already wanting to start our one-on-one practicing?! I still need to prepare myself mentally before doing that! I despise last-minute surprises like this.

I text back.

Noel: You want to practice already?

Am I actually going to do this right now? I had my plans made already; watch anime in bed until I fall asleep. My Friday night is not going how it usually does.

But… Alex wants to fence. I can't say no to that, can I? I save his number with his name.

Alex: Yup

I groan, slapping the phone to my forehead.

“Great, my Friday night is ruined. Thanks, asshole,” I mumble. Sighing heavily, I start to type back.

Noel: Why do you want to practice right now? I backspace, deleting that.

It doesn't matter why.

Noel: What time do you want to meet up?

I press send.

ALEX

I can hear her screaming through the phone.

My plan to sleep was ruined when I heard her yelling.

I turn up the volume to the sound system in the movie theater room that's already loud and hope it drowns her out when I hear glass shatter.

“ Well, if you hadn’t fucked him up, then maybe he would want to live with you and not me! This wasn’t the plan! You fucking ruin everything, and now I have a goddamn teenager living in my house. Fuck you, Sylas.” There’s a long pause, and then she laughs. “ Is that right? I bet you have to take the whole bottle of Viagra to get that puny cock to stand up.”

I ignore her, inhaling deeply while tapping the button on the remote to crank up the volume, praying she won't be here long.

When I showed up here after years of no contact, it was a complete shock to her.

I think she let me in because she didn't know what the fuck else to do with me.

My father let her keep the house I grew up in in the divorce, with a load of money. She's content to just live out her life without responsibilities, welcome to fuck around without a care in the world.

Having a son didn’t magically make her maternal. She never was and she never will be.

The last time I saw her was… well, it doesn't matter. Everything changed right before my thirteenth birthday. I moved to California with my father while they went through the divorce. Sophia didn't fight for custody because she never wanted it. This past year I was desperate to get out of his house, and she was my only choice to get away from him.

They both were abusive in their own ways, so it was always a lose-lose situation for me. However, this past year has been worse than ever with him, so I basically packed up my shit, ran away, and moved in with her.

It took days for her to agree. I suspect my father is paying her to let me live here. He needs control of the situation, and with how fucked up everything is, this is how he is able to control me. Through Sophia. My father is allowing me to stay here with her because he knows he took things too far during our last fight. He understands I need space right now.

He told me I could stay here my senior year on the condition that I attend Knight's Valor Academy, obey his rules, come home when he needs me there to uphold his family image, and lastly, right after graduation, go to college in California, where he attended.

I should be more upset by everything, but it’s just another day for me. And I’ve endured worse things.

Beside my thigh, I feel my phone vibrate and light up with a text as I'm sitting on the couch. I glance at it long enough to read the message from one of my classmates.

Light up @ Crown?

I ignore it along with all the other texts. It's all pointless shit anyway. And I don't feel like getting high right now.

These kids at school all just want to gossip about who's fucking who and send shitty videos that aren't funny. It's all meaningless chatter. They're like the buzzing noise in your ear after you get hit in the head too hard. An incessant, shrill ringing that doesn't go away.

Ace has been my main person I hang with. I actually really like spending my free time with him. Grady, too. Levi? Not so much, but he's part of their group when we do things outside of fencing, so I get over it. He can be entertaining when I fuck with him, so there's that. They're all really popular at school and have this vibe about them that makes everyone want to hang with them. Since I've joined the team, I'm now included in their group, and that brings lots of attention from the other students, something I'm used to but ignore.

Noel doesn't hang out with any of them.

I don't think he has friends.

I try my best to follow along to the show, but all my mind does is wander. School, my parents, fencing club…

I took up fencing while in California so I could get away from my father. Anything to get my mind off of what was happening to me. It's a sport that could help release my anger in a healthy way. I mean, there's literally a weapon in my fist. It doesn't get more badass than that.

I would imagine driving my foil into his chest.

Except the end was pointed and sharp—not a foil at all, but a real sword.

I force myself to think of something else, replaying the tournament from today instead. Specifically thinking of one neurodivergent teen with a lot of sass, who I'm now tasked to practice with. The end goal isn't so we get better at fencing, but to force us to get along. I snatch up my cell and look up his name, starting a text thread.

Fence? I shoot the text and wait for a reply. The little dots appear after a minute.

Stargazer: You want to practice already?

Alex: Yup.

The dots appear and then disappear. He's not sure how to reply to me. I don't blame him; I've never texted him before. We don't hang out. Noel keeps to himself. He's quiet and friendless. The only reason we have each other's numbers is because of Fencing Club, and I rarely text anyone from the club either unless it's Ace and Grady.

Stargazer: Okay, what time do you want to meet up?

I think it over for a moment. Alex: Thirty minutes? Don't forget your protection, I go pretty hard the first round *wink face*

Noel immediately texts back

Stargazer: Of course I'm bringing my fencing mask and vest.

I snort.

Alex: It's playful innuendo

Stargazer: I don't understand.

I stare at my phone in disbelief.

Alex: Yeah, I can tell.

Stargazer: Maybe we should practice later.

I frown down at my phone. Is he seriously turning down practice?

Alex: Why not now?

Stargazer: Because you're in a mood.

I can feel my eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

Alex: Come over, Noe.

Stargazer: Did you mean to say Now or Noe?

Alex: Both . Come over now, Noe. I promise I won't start shit with you and get you all riled up.

Rolling my eyes, I find myself entertained by our interaction, and I bite my cheek to stop from the smile that wants to form.

Stargazer: Fine.

Alex: See you in a few, I respond. I send my address so he knows to come to my house instead of the school.

Stargazer: Why not the fencing club?

Alex: Because I'm too cool for school.

Stargazer: What?

Alex: I don't want to leave my house tonight. Also, do you have access to the club at this time of night?

Stargazer: …Okay. Yeah, I didn't think about that. But we'll need room to fence, do you have adequate space? Nvm, I'll be there in twenty and we can talk.

Alex: I have space, Noel.

He doesn't respond, so I chuck the phone to the other side of the couch and head to my room so I can change into my fencing gear. On the way, I run into Sophia who's crying on the floor, bleeding from her right hand that's holding a broken shard of glass. Reeking of sweet wine.

“Are you fucking serious?” I crouch to the floor and grab her wrist, inspecting the wound. It doesn't look like it's deep, thank fuck. “What the hell are you doing picking up glass like this?”

She pushes me, and the force of it makes me stumble. I glare at her as I take off my shirt, bundling it up, pressing down on her open cut. “What the fuck, Sophia?” I yell, making her flinch.

“It's none of your business.” She gives me a look that I know too well. I hate you. “Stupid vase,” she mutters to herself, drunkenly. “I'm leaving tonight. I don't know when I'll be back again. And don't throw any parties or mess with my things, or I’ll kick you out.” I tighten my grip on her hand and stare at her tear-stained face that's blotchy and swollen. She looks miles away, not really caring that she's currently lying on the floor while her son presses a shirt to her injury.

“You’re so fucking annoying,” I grumble about the situation. “Get up, let's get this bandaged.”

I help her up, and we walk slowly to the bathroom near the foyer so I can take care of this mess. I fucking hate her with every fiber of my being… but she’s still my mother. She shoos me away when I grab the first aid kit from under the sink.

“I've got it from here,” she murmurs. “Go on.”

“Seriously?”

“Go!” She pushes me out and locks the door. I'm too shocked to say anything after hearing the lock click, so I step back and look down, noticing my hands have blood on them. I ball them into fists, anger making me tremble with the need to hit the fucking wall, but I don’t. No need to put a damn hole in the drywall like an adolescent teenager. Even though that's what I am. I'm only seventeen, for fucks sake. At least for another three weeks.

I walk back to where there's broken glass everywhere and clean up what I can.

It looked like she threw one of the porcelain vases. An ugly piece of art that I'm sure cost hundreds, if not thousands of dollars. Whatever.

After sweeping up the little pieces, I hear the doorbell ring. Shit, I'm so not in the right headspace for this. Too late to do anything about it now, though.

I open the front door and greet him without a word or a smile. He's got his bright yellow duffle over his shoulder and his fencing bag on his back, while idly playing with a string from his black hoodie.

When I look down at the colorful artwork on the front, I forget all about Sophia's injury when I see what he's wearing. “You like Commander Kendo Demon Assassin?” I ask, pointing at his hoodie. It's my favorite anime, and he's wearing Shinso Kendo, the main character. In the image, he's gripping an enormous red sword known as Deathblow.

He completely disregards my question when I see his eyes widen, looking straight at my hand.

That's covered with blood.

“Uhh... are you alright?” He asks, his voice taking on a higher pitch.

I huff and step back, jerking my head to let him know to come in.

“And where's your shirt?” He hesitates, not entering even though I'm holding the door open for him to come in. Noel's gaze is on my stomach, his doe eyes wide and frozen. I smirk at the unexpected thrill it gives me. I cross my arms to hide my rib area discreetly. He doesn't take his gaze off my abs until I snort in amusement. Caramel brown eyes shoot up to meet mine, and immediately he looks down at his feet, blushing and pulling on his duffle strap with an uneven breath.

How cute.

My lips curl into a false smile. “My mom had an accident, and I used my shirt to stop the bleeding. It's all good.”

He meets my face without a look of sympathy. “Should I come back at another time? I can come again whenever.”

I close my eyes and lean against the door, trying to hold back my retort and failing. “You'll come again? You're simply filthy.”

“What?” He looks down at his clothes like he might find dirt, clueless once again.

“Get inside, Noel.” I roll my eyes and walk off towards my room, knowing he's behind me when the door shuts. “Are you hungry?” I ask as I lead us down hallway after hallway until my bedroom comes into view.

“No, I ate.”

I push open my door and wait for him to get inside. He looks a little skittish standing there, looking around the large space filled with all my anime merchandise and posters, black walls filled with a display of real katanas that I absolutely brought with me when I left Cali, and a bed that is entirely too big for one person to sleep on with twenty million pillows. I complain, but I snuggle into a pillow nest every night, so what does that say about me? Probably touch-starvation from my lack of affection as a child.

“I-I um… like your anime posters. And the katanas.” He points at my collection and I smile. He's acting so weird right now with his stuttering words and blushing cheeks. What the fuck is up with him?

“What's your favorite?” I ask to fill the unusual awkward moment we're currently having while I find a shirt on the floor to throw on.

“Favorite?” He makes his way over to my wall of katanas while I shut and lock the door.

“Anime. You obviously like Commander Kendo Demon Assassin. You must like blood, guts, and gore. I would never have guessed.”

He turns to stare at me with wide, unblinking eyes, and it feels like appreciation at the fact we both like something other than fencing.

“The anime is so underrated, though. I'm surprised you know of it. It's such a complex and beautiful plot. Shinso's backstory, the heartbreaking reveal that the demons who killed his family—”

“—are his best friends' parents?” I cut him off. I take on a light, nonchalant airiness about our conversation, but I actually really love the anime. I still get goosebumps thinking about the scene he's talking about.

“I know. I may or may not have cried a little,” he says with a small chuckle, and I blink in shock. He's actually laughing.

Noel and I are having a conversation where he isn't glaring at me, and he's laughing .

“Same,” I reply, sitting on my bed, still covered in my mother's blood, but I don't want to leave to get cleaned up just yet.

“The season finale was so brutal. Narushiki finding out that his parents’ murdered Kendo's was so beautifully executed, their friendship breaking and becoming sworn enemies…” Noel trails off, lost in the memory, and his enthusiasm in the anime makes me feel… warm.

“The new season starts in a week,” I tell him. I'm sure he already fucking knows though.

“I'm counting down the days.” Noel glances from me back to the wall of katanas again, like he's embarrassed to look at me.

“Watch it here,” I blurt out with a nonchalant shrug. “I have a movie theater down the hall. If you're interested.”

He looks like a baby deer with his brown eyes so big, unblinking as he stares at me like I'm about to run him over with my car. And it feels like I do.

Caplat. Splatter. Blood and baby deer guts everywhere. He's immobile, probably startled to silence that I invited him over to do something together that didn't involve fencing.

He must hate me more than I thought. I almost laugh at his expression. There's no way he'd volunteer to sit next to me for an hour to watch anime if this is how much he despises me.

“That-that would be cool,” he stutters and pulls the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands, completely shocking me. “I usually watch it on my laptop at home. Seeing it on a big screen sounds really exciting.” He uses the sleeve over his hand to wipe at his cheek. He's so fucking fidgety on a normal day, but add in any kind of social activity and he's like this. It's surprising he's able to hold a foil so steady when he fences in a room full of other people.

“Oh, it is,” I mutter dryly while tapping my fingers on my leg. I'm taken aback by his easy acceptance. This is so weird. Am I being weird too? Can he tell?

“Yeah.” I watch him closely as he looks everywhere but my face, grabbing one of his strings again and pulling at it roughly. I know he hates to keep eye contact, so I don't take it personally when he can't meet my gaze most of the time. Unless… well, his anger gets the best of him and he wants to hit me. “So, where should I get changed for our practice?”

“Change in here; I'll go shower. Forgot about the blood.” I stand and start unbuckling my jeans, walking to my bathroom. I flick the lights on as I shut the door to give him and myself privacy.

I watch him as he smiles softly, his eyes on the floor like he's in his own world. Which he might be. But I get it. I'd much rather immerse myself in anime, drawing, or whatever else than be present most days. I disassociate a lot too. I catch myself staring at him, locked on his face and his pretty brown eyes as I shut the door with a heavy sigh.