NOEL

“That's the last of the boxes!” Mom yells from outside, our front door propped open. Alex and I are stacking his things in my room, which I'm just now realizing isn't a lot of space for everything he owns.

I knew Mom would say yes when I asked. She was more surprised that Alex was living in such a messed-up environment. An abusive father in California and a mother who is never home and not in Alex's life. When I explained the situation to her, she agreed immediately. She knows it's temporary until we leave for college. Her fear for his safety was the most important thing to her.

“Is he there now?” She asks.

“At his mom's? Yeah, he has a little while to get things packed up until he needs to be out. She's having cleaners come this week to ready it for sale.”

“Let's get him out of there… Something tells me he's not doing so good right now. And his mom sounds off her rocker.”

I give her a big hug. “Thank you, Mom.”

“It's not every day my boy asks for something. Poor Alex… He really needs you, doesn't he? I should go to the store tomorrow and buy some supplies. What does he need?”

“I don't know… I think it's just food. His father cut off his credit card.”

Her face falls. “Okay, ask him, and I'll get more groceries than usual. Let's start moving his belongings here.”

She's always been the best. I'm so proud to be her son.

“Mom said we can put some things in her room too, so don't worry about that.”

He looks troubled, like he's inconveniencing us. I guess he needs to be reminded again.

“Hey, c’mere.” I pull at his arm, making him step forward into my hug. He relents easily. “I want you here. My mom wants you here. You are not a burden, and I love you.”

He hides his face against my shoulder. “I should just donate half this shit.”

“We're not getting rid of anything. All of this means something to you. And I know you care very much for your appearance, so we're keeping all the clothes and shoes.”

He glares at me. “My clothes alone take up your entire room, Noel.”

“We'll figure it out; stop being so sad.” I kiss his cheek before stepping back.

My mom comes into our room with three cans of soda and hands two of them to us. “Whew, that was fun. Alex, you've got more clothes than a department store,” she laughs, wiping at her forehead. “Cheers, my boys!” she raises her can, and we tap them together.

“Well, I'll let you unpack. Just let me know if you need anything. I ordered pizza for dinner, so keep an ear out for that. I'm going to shower.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“Thank you,” Alex says softly, full of affection, and my smile gets bigger.

“Of course.” Mom grins and gives him a wink before stepping out. I turn to Alex while downing half my soda.

“Let's get unpacking, soldier.”

We spend the next two hours going through his things and sorting where to put them. Most of it stays in a box, so we just stack them as high as they can go and leave it. Alex keeps his most worn outfits in the easy-access box in front of my bed.

Our bed.

Mom didn't question why he didn't bring an air mattress over.

It was kind of implied that we'd share a bed.

“You're going to get sick of me,” Alex bluntly states while plopping down on the bed.

“No, I'm not. I've always wanted this with you. Thirteen-year-old me would be ecstatic.”

“And eighteen-year-old you?”

I smirk playfully. “Even more.” I place a hand on his cheek and lean over him, kissing his lips.

“Oh, I see. You want me for sex. A live-in boy toy. Wow, Noel, you're insatiable.”

I part my mouth and delve into the kiss, showing him I want it deeper. I'm hard and horny all of a sudden, and I have Alex here with me until graduation.

I'm going to suck his dick every chance I can.

He gasps, clearly taken aback by my abruptness. I climb over him, legs straddling his waist as I push myself up straight and stare down at his pink face and wide eyes.

“Want to jerk off together?” I ask, already pulling my sweats down, and my dick pops out, hard and leaking at the tip.

“Hell yes.”

I help him pull down his own pants, just enough to free his cock that's half-hard.

I lean over and start kissing him again, taking his instead of mine, stroking it slowly as I bring blood flow into it making him just as hard as I am. He moans into my mouth, his jaw going slack at the same time his slit gets sticky with precum.

He brings his own hand to my length, stroking mine the same way. We aren't in a rush, and it's so nice to simply touch freely, giving each other pleasure for endless amounts of time.

“When are you going to fuck me?” I gasp, my hips moving forward into his rhythm. I'm a second away from sliding down his body and engulfing his crown into my mouth and choking it down my throat.

I'm desperately horny and I want more.

“We're taking things slow,” he manages through a whiny moan. He's quiet, clearly conscious of my mom down the hall.

“No, you're taking things slow with me.”

It's very obvious that he's worried about fucking me. We've done so much already, and yet he won't take that final step with me, even though I've been inside him.

“I don't think you're ready, Noel.”

“Why?”

His eyes shut, biting down on his bottom lip as he gets even harder in my fist. I pump him fast, my thumb spreading over his tip easily. His hand on my dick falters, stopping mid-stroke.

I keep my hand busy, speeding up and slowing down, watching his face and the way his hips jerk. In no time at all, he tenses before coming in my hand.

I continue helping him, a smile on my face as I kiss the corner of his mouth and down his throat. “Why, Alex?” I ask again, half-teasing.

He exhales roughly, palming my backside with his other hand as he starts up stroking me again. His fingers fan out over my cheek, pulling it apart. I gasp. His middle finger slowly strokes in a circle around my rim. I shiver with a sharp gasp. His hand speeds up, and it's all too much. I come.

Just from the tip of his finger rubbing in a circle over my asshole, not even dipping inside to explore.

I fall forward a bit; my face crashes into the pillow beside his head.

I'm still pulsing in his tight fist when I hear him chuckle. “You're so cute.”

I lift my head up to glare. “Tell me why.”

“You're rushing everything, doe eyes. Take things slow with me. Savor it.”

“You're frustrating.”

“And you're impatient.”

I guess he's right; I am a little impatient, but why does he get to decide when I'm ready?

Does he think I need time to mentally prepare? I guess that would be appropriate. I have only done these things with him and it's been just a month. That is moving quite fast for someone who hasn't done anything sexual before.

“I’m okay with it for now, but Alex, when I do tell you I'm ready, I need you to listen. Don't treat me like I'm fragile, okay?” I put both hands on his face. “I understand your hesitation, but why is it fair you gave me your virginity but I can't do the same?” His hesitation to answer is all I need. “If you're worried about hurting me, I can respect that, but we'll take our time and be prepared when it happens. I'll make sure of it.”

He takes my words in and nods.

NOEL

After practice, we all shower and get changed. I'm pulling my pants on when Alex grips the back of my neck, leaning in to place a kiss at my nape. They're actually his sweatpants, but he encouraged me to wear all his stuff. He shoved them at me and told me to wear his things. What's his is mine, he said.

“Hey,” I greet him softly, turning around with a smile. I'm pulling on a red hoodie that's his, and his half-lidded gaze is telling me he likes what he sees.

I look around us to make sure no one's watching and kiss him on his lips. Just once. A little peck.

“My sweats are so snug around your fat ass.”

I blush as he pulls at the drawstring of the pants, making my waist tighter. I swat at his hand, but he pulls me against him as his hands go under my hoodie.

“Stop,” I giggle, feeling shy.

Ace has his phone out, checking for something when he gasps, excited. “No way, I just got the text!” He runs over to Alex, waving his phone around, showing the text. “I want to take Noel! Can we?”

“Take me where?”

“You think he'll like that?” Grady walks over with a raised brow at Ace.

“You're not supposed to go around inviting just anyone,” Levi adds, pissed off.

“You wouldn't even know about it if Ace hadn't invited you, dickwad,” Grady claps back.

“Shut up.”

“He's in,” Alex responds, looking me up and down appreciatively. “Let him borrow your shit, Ace.”

Ace squeals. “We're going to have so much fun!”

“Is anyone going to explain what the fuck we're talking about?”

“It's better to be surprised. It'll ruin the experience if we tell you,” Grady not so helpfully explains.

“Am I the only one who hasn't done whatever this is?”

Ace chews at his lip. “Well… it's kind of hard to explain. Like, it all happens pretty fast.”

“Is it at least legal?”

Ace and Grady share a look, cringing. Levi chuckles. I turn to Alex with a sigh. “Seriously?”

A slow smile spreads on his face, mischievous and deadly.

“Asshole.”

“Go to Ace's and get ready. We'll all take my car.”

We finish changing, and then Ace takes my hand and pulls me off towards the parking lot. I look behind me as Grady, Alex, and Levi talk quietly, not wanting to be overheard.

What the hell am I getting myself into?

“Ace, where are we going?”

“Nope! Don't you dare try to get me to spill! It is Top Secret.” He mimes zipping up his lips.

“Why do I need to borrow your clothes?”

He grins. “Well, partly because Alex likes how I dressed you up last time. Annnnd, more so that you don't have the kind of outfit that fits in with what we're doing.”

“I'm so confused.”

“It'll make sense when we get there,” he laughs, reaching a hand out to pat my cheek.

I stare back at my reflection.

My hair is messily styled, held strong with glitter spray that smells like some kind of cupcake dessert. At the edge of my eyes are three green stripes, the same lime shade as the light-up cat ears headband on my head. My hooded sweatshirt is loose, hanging over thick black leggings with neon stripes up the sides.

Ace even painted my nails the same bright shade of green as everything else. I'm a mix of black and neon green.

“I can honestly say I have no idea where the hell we're going.”

Ace covers his mouth and laughs. “It's tech-wear.” We look like twins, except his color is yellow and his top is cropped short, showing off his flat stomach. “Alex is going to flip.”

“Flip in a good way?” I tug my hooded sweatshirt down, nervous that my ass might be on display in these tight leggings.

“Yes, in a good way. Hmmm…I wonder…” He lifts my shirt up, showing off my stomach, and I groan, already knowing what he's thinking.

“I don't think showing off my stomach is such a great—”

“Let me cut it short,” he whines, a pout on his lips. “I promise Alex will be drooling over you when he sees you.”

I turn to look at myself in the mirror, my abdominals hard and visible with the shortened length of the shirt. It's the most skin I've shown off since the party where I stripped that shirt off when I was drunk.

I guess it's not a big deal. And I am curious of how Alex will react when he sees me in this type of attire.

“Fuck it, go ahead.”

Ace does a shimmy dance while walking away to grab scissors from his desk, and I shake my head. I turn around and view my backside.

The leggings aren't that big of a deal since I wear something similar for fencing; but I always wear shorts over them.

These leggings are meant to be shown. They highlight every taut muscle in my thighs and calves, my ass toned from all my leg workouts.

“Your butt and thighs are so fit. Don't ever stop your gym routine.”

I choke on my own spit while Ace laughs, cutting the material right above the waistline.

“Thanks?” I squeak, clearing my throat while my cheeks flame.

“Have you guys… you know.” His eyebrows go up.

“What?”

“Had sex yet?”

“Oh.” I scratch nervously at my head. “Yes.”

He blinks up at me, a smile making two little dimples pop on his cheeks. “And it went well?”

“Yes, it did.” My cheeks heat. My eyes shift from his face down to his shirt. He doesn't say anything else about it. When he's finished cutting, he pulls up his phone and holds it out in front of us, pulling me into his side. He makes the peace sign above my head, which I can see in our reflection.

“Smile!”

I laugh, and he proceeds to take pic after pic, making a different face in each one, his body shifting and moving with each click of the camera going off. I follow his lead, entertained at how talented he is at modeling.

“There it is.” He takes one more. “Perfect. Alex just texted!” He steps back, checking his messages. “They're outside. Guess it's show time.” With one final look in the mirror, he turns to me, grabbing my hand as we leave his room together. “I can't wait to see his face.” He giggles menacingly.

“I think Levi will like yours too,” I comment with a grin. Ace swivels around in absolute shock, cheeks pinkening in what I can only assume is embarrassment.

“You… you really think so?” He huffs an incredulous, unsure giggle.

“He'd be a fucking idiot not to.”

Both brows shoot up, and he laughs, clutching at his stomach. “Noel!”

I shrug. Ace is amazing, and Levi is… well, he’s Levi.

Ace tugs me along, not saying anything else.

When we walk outside, it's dark and I can't make out where Alex and the other guys are, but there's something shining the closer we get to the car. I can make out Alex, leaning against his car, decked out from head to toe in black. He's wearing a hoodie too, but it's up, a plain black ball cap on as well. He has on black cargo pants, the lining a reflective silver with zippers, buckles, and pockets scattered around his thighs and legs.

“Cat ears? Really, Ace?” Levi speaks up after rolling the back window down.

Ace mock gasps. “They're cute! Aren't they, Alex?”

“Oh shit, Noel, love the fit!” Grady pipes up from beside Levi, still in the car, excitement laced in his tone.

“Thanks.” I smile, not looking over at Alex. He pushes away from the car, stepping up to face me closely. With one hand he touches the headband, flicking a switch so they light up an array of colors, which I can see through the car's window. His hand trails over the back of my head, grips the nape of my neck, and pulls me close to his mouth. My pulse skyrockets.

“Cute,” he breathes over my lips, and my eyes flutter closed, inhaling his scent.

“Yeah?”

“Mmm,” he hums, placing his other hand over my cheek, completely enveloping me in his space, taking over every sense I have.

His lips press against mine softly, but before I can open my mouth for more, he pulls away with a grin. “Later,” he whispers.

“It's a half-hour drive,” Levi begins, “so if you gotta take a shit, hurry up.”

“That was one time! Hop off my dick already,” Grady groans. “Ace, get your ass back here before I smack this d-bag hoe.”

“Ooohh, am I in the middle again?” Ace steps past me to get in the backseat with the others, leaving the front seat for me.

“Say a dirty joke, and you won't be getting drunk tonight.”

“What do you have?” I ask, already knowing alcohol is part of tonight's illegal activity. I get comfortable in the passenger seat, watching Alex climb in and put his seatbelt on.

“Vodka.”

“Not yet,” Grady sternly commands. “You know the rules.”

I turn around in my seat. “What are the rules?”

Levi speaks up first. “No drinking until we get to the event, and only two shots each; we're not drinking to get wasted. Only to loosen up. Whoever drives doesn't have any.”

I turn back around and face Alex, who's already started the car and is pulling forward. “Hey, I can—”

“No. I want you to enjoy this. I don't mind driving.”

“So romantic,” Ace whispers behind me, probably to Grady. “No one offers to be my DD.”

I hear Grady bark a laugh. “Shut it, you're a spoiled brat.”

“If you're sure…” I say to Alex.

He reaches a hand to turn the music up, only looking over at me when it's blaring a fast beat.

I smile. “Any other rules?” I yell over the music.

“If someone offers you any sort of pill, don't take it.”

I turn my head around, eyebrows drawn together. “What?”

Ace laughs and ignores me, dancing with the limited space he has to work with, cat ears like a strobe light with red, blue, and green lighting up the vehicle.

Grady joins in, shoulders and torso moving to the beat, head bobbing in tune with the song. Levi even joins in, although a little reluctantly. His head nods, with his foot tapping along.

The next thirty minutes pass quickly. Alex turns the music down when we drive over a railroad, pulling into a shabby parking lot that's dark and secluded.

The entire lot is creepily empty, the cement cracked in various spots with little tufts of grass poking through. We're not anywhere near a busy highway or stores, even though we're beside a couple buildings; they look closed off with the windows boarded up.

They all unbuckle and open their doors, getting out quickly, except Alex, who's already reaching for my face with one hand as he pulls me into a kiss, our tongues brushing together. I moan into it, the kiss like a libido shot to my dick that has me worked up in a second.

He bites at my bottom lip, yanking at it before letting go. “Ready?”

“I…guess? What is it with you guys and creepy abandoned places? Where are we?”

“We have some exploring to do before we get there.”

Alex opens his door, getting out, and I do the same. Ace is pouring something in the little glasses he brought. He hands me a shot as we gather beside the car, all of us except Alex.

“All for one—”

“No! We are not drinking to that, dude; pick something else to say,” Levi groans. “Can't you just say cheers like normal people?”

Ace raises his glass alone, an expectant look on his face. I follow suit with Grady, both of us grinning. We wait for Levi to join in too. It's a little awkward.

“As I said, all for one—”

“This fucking musketeer’s moto will haunt my dreams until the day I die. I hate you all.”

“Wait,” I speak up. “Let's toast to us. We should come up with a new one. Like something meaningful that fits us.” My cheeks heat up, a little uncomfortable that I'm being this open with them all.

Grady tilts his head, like he's thinking it over. “Like an inspirational speech?”

“We're tossing back shots, not going to war,” Levi dryly adds, leaning against the vehicle.

“No, not a speech,” I say, and Ace lights up, clapping energetically.

“What do you have in mind, Noel? Maybe something about fencing! We should ‘cheers’ to us five, so like, to the Knights Valor! Or like, Valor… boys? Wait, I'm losing my train of thought. It was on the tip of my tongue, I swear. Gimmie a minute.”

“You broke his brain,” Levi deadpans.

“Don't let Noel decide what to call us; it'll be about anime.”

I glare at Alex. “I mean, yeah, but it'd be awesome.”

“We should call ourselves…” Ace continues thinking, tapping at his forehead.

“The Knight Blades,” I say confidently.

They all turn to look at me with raised brows, and my heart speeds up. It's not that bad, is it?

“Holy shit, that's kind of badass,” Grady says first, and then Ace actually squeals.

“No wait! We're the Knight Blade Boys . Five besties for life! We're Knights! We have blades! And…we're boys!”

Levi sighs loudly.

“Embrace the cringe, Levi,” Ace mutters consolingly, and I chuckle under my breath.

Stepping forward, I place my hand in front of me with the shot, shrugging my shoulder up as if to say, why not?

Ace steps beside me and does the same with a cheeky grin.

Grady comes up next, sticking his hand in.

“You guys are the actual worst.” Levi thrusts his hand out.

Alex watches us all with a lazy smirk, stepping forward with a pep in his step, eyes glittering in amusement. “I do love blades.” His hand reaches in, without any shot glasses, just his fist.

“To the Knight Blade Boys,” we say in unison, raising our shots and tossing them back.

I gag after swallowing it, wincing at the taste.

“Fuuuck,” Ace whines, sticking out his tongue.

“Wooo!” Grady hollers after he downs his shot.

“Another!” I almost shake my head when Ace starts pouring more into our empty glasses, but I remember that drinking makes being in a crowd more bearable. I'll handle the hangover tomorrow with lots of water and pills.

I take mine with a harsh grimace, and the others make various sounds as they take their shots.

Ace grabs all our glasses after that and puts them in a little pouch before shoving them in the car. He adjusts his crossbody sling bag and gives us a thumbs up.

“Let's go, team!”

There's a mumbling of voices far off near a broken chain link fence, which is where Levi starts to walk towards.

Alex locks the doors to his car as Grady and Ace link their arms with mine. We walk towards the group of people we see off in the distance, and I notice they too, have similar outfits to ours. Another car pulls into the lot, parking beside Alex's vehicle.

“Follow the purple cats!” Alex shouts at Levi, coming up to walk with us.

I turn to him. “Excuse me?”

“You have to be so confused right now,” Ace giggles, tugging at my arm. “We have to follow the cat graffiti to reach our destination.”

“Mmm right. Follow the cat. Sounds perfectly logical.”

Alex snickers. “And yet you're following along like a good boy.”

“I trust you all not to kill me at the very least.”

“Eh. Still debating the pros and cons.” Alex smirks, his eyes sharp and teasing.

The closer we get to the underground tunnel that everyone appears to be going into, the more unsettling it becomes. It's pitch-black inside. What the actual fuck?

I see the large purple cat graffiti that's to the right of the tunnel before we enter. Alex turns a flashlight on as we trek deeper into it, the chatter of the other groups of teenagers our age making me a little less nervous. They giggle excitedly, their shoes lit up in flashing colors like mine and Ace's headbands. They shout and playfully shove each other, and I find myself getting excited. My heart is doing little flips as adrenaline thrums in my veins.

I laugh, grinning stupidly.

And then I hear it. A faint, heavy thumping that's coming from inside the tunnel.

“Is that…music?”

“We're almost there!” Someone shouts ahead of us. “Go left!”

There's another graffiti of a cat pointing its paw to the left, which says, ' here kitty, kitty' in bright purple. There's another opening. This one isn't as dark. There are blue and orange lights flashing inside the tunnel, the music loud and more pronounced. The type of music you'd hear in a club with the beat overriding the vocals.

Ace unlinks our arms as Alex comes up to take his spot, throwing an arm around my shoulder. Ace takes Grady's other side and pulls him away from me as they walk together holding hands in the friendly, platonic way that they do.

“Your ass in those leggings is making me drool, doe eyes,” Alex whispers in my ear.

I turn my head, my eyes on his kissable lips as I grin slowly. “Good.”

He doesn't smile back. “Dick.”

I stab my elbow into his side, and he groans.

“What is this?” I ask, ready to know what this tunnel concert thing actually is.

“It's a rave!” Ace shouts over the already blaring beat.

“A rave?”

“Welcome to your first secret underground rave.”

“How do you even find these things?”

“It's all about who you know.” Alex smirks, spreading his arms while walking ahead backwards. “Once you get an in, you know where and when they pop up. Hence, the text message and the graffiti.”

Still deep inside the tunnel, we enter into a room that opens up to a larger space with a standing crowd of people. There are large pillars holding up whatever is above us, and a good amount of people jumping around to the music. There's a DJ somewhere, but I can't see them.

There are flashing lights from a machine that makes the space feel like some kind of dance club.

It's unlike anything I've ever seen before.

The strobe lights are mostly a mix of yellows, greens, and reds. The crowd is made up of people with an array of flashy clothing and devices that light up. One girl has on shoes with LED lights, dancing in a way I haven't seen someone do before. Lots of them wear glow-stick headbands or necklaces.

Alex walks back to me and slides his hand down my back, grabbing my open hand to hold my wrist tightly.

“Wanna dance?” He tugs.

My smile is enough of an answer as we push forward into the crowd of people. Alex tilts his hood back, turning his cap backwards on his head. He looks so sexy like this, all black clothing and a pissy attitude with an intimidating glare. My breath catches at his taunting smirk, and I put my arms around his neck while swaying my hips to the beat of the song. It's one I recognize, a bass house sub-genre of EDM. It's gritty and aggressive. To me, it feels like an upbeat, feel-good vibe.

“You do this kind of thing often?”

“Show up to raves?”

I nod, pulling us closer together.

“I did while I lived in California. When I moved back here, I found out where they popped up and got Ace on the text list. I went with him one time.”

I reach forward and place a kiss on his neck. He extends it, giving me more room to work with, kissing on his skin deeply with open-mouthed licks and tiny bites. He sighs, his chest moving with every deep inhale. I think I even hear him whimper when I bite into the tender flesh of his shoulder, my tongue swiping slowly over the painful jab.

“Fuck, Noel,” he breathes harshly, and it sounds like he's scolding me, but also that he wants me to continue. So I do.

Our eyes meet for a moment when I glance up. His lips are wet, his cheeks flushed in warmth. His eyes tell me to keep going. An invitation to keep touching him and not to stop. And just when my lips make contact with his neck again, Ace pops up beside us, jumping up and down as his cat ears go from green to purple.

“Really? C’mon! We just got here, and you already wanna mess around?” He yells, and I pull apart from Alex.

“Umm…” I don't have an explanation, so I just laugh.

“You can finger pop each other's assholes later! Go dance! It's our senior year; I want to make memories with you both! C'mon!” It’s a miracle I’m able to hear him over the music. He drags us into the throng of dancing bodies as Alex rolls his eyes. The crowd erupts into a sea of bodies as the song reaches a crescendo and the beat drops, causing them to move their arms and feet in a variety of rave-specific dance moves.

Alex keeps his eyes on me. In a jerky movement, I join in, dancing like everyone else is. I believe it's called shuffling. His lips tilt up on one side, amused. I shrug.

Ace does it best—the way it looks like he's running but staying in the same spot? It's hard to do, but he looks so good doing it.

I stop trying and switch to basic jumping.

The music gets more intense, and I find that I'm actually enjoying how I'm dancing, getting more into the movements and slow roll of my torso. Hands held high, I grind to the beat, aware of Alex’s attention on me. I let the vibe lead me as I close my eyes and move however feels right. This is my kind of music—the same artists I listen to when I'm in my room, with headphones on and dancing like nobody's watching. When I open my eyes, Alex's dark, hungry gaze is zeroed in on my exposed stomach. I smirk.

Ace comes closer to dance with me, our hands connecting as our bodies shift around. He tries to spin me, but we end up messing it up and laughing. I spin him instead. Grady and Levi come over to our area too, all of us together with a few other people we don’t know, closing in tightly as we jump to the song. There’s an image projected on the walls of a girl in space, walking to each thump of bass, and it makes me laugh. It’s not funny at all, but I suppose the shots we took are working because everything seems entertaining and amusing. Ace grinds his ass on me while Grady has his front; both of them are engrossed in the song that's about to reach another bass drop. Levi is smooshed in between a group of girls, moving his hips back and forth. It’s the closest I’ve ever been with them, not just physically, but as something meaningful. It hits me while dancing so close to their bodies that this is something I never would've done if I hadn't agreed to hang out with them and opened myself up to try new things.I am having the best senior year, and it’s all thanks to Ace, Alex, Grady, and Levi.

My teammates.

My friends.

I’m even including Levi in that.

I could dance all night in this tunnel with them. Thankful, grateful, and beyond happy to have gotten to spend time with them this year.

I guess Mom was right. The experiences we've gone through in such a short time have had an impact on me and how I view life. When I'm stargazing, I get this same feeling. Like my heart is full and content. Like I'm grateful to be here on earth.

Grateful for them.

Ace gives me an all-knowing smile, like he knows exactly what I'm thinking. He reaches up and kisses my cheek before dancing off with the group of girls beside us that have glow in the dark butterfly face paint on and sparkly lit up wings on their backs. Grady follows along, and Levi looks to be in his own world, intent on listening to the song.

Turning my attention to Alex with a laugh, I shift closer to him and start dancing on him, chest to chest. Giving him a show I wouldn't dare do in daylight. But here in this dark tunnel? I'll be his bad little slut if he wants. The shots I took definitely helped the burst of courage. I turn around slowly, wrapping my arm around his head, pulling his face into my neck as my ass pushes up against his dick.

I feel his heavy exhale against my neck as he drops his head on my shoulder, breathing shakily.

His hands roam over my stomach, under my cropped sweatshirt, and back down my hard abdominal muscles. My breath hitches, eyes rolling back at the touch of his soft fingertips making direct contact with my skin.

He tongues my ear gently before nibbling and tugging at the lobe. I moan deeply, only heard by myself.

“You’re evil,” I think he says with a harsh breath over my ear, over the reverberating loud speakers.

I turn, needing his lips on mine right this second. I pull him into a deep, filthy kiss that shocks both of us. It's raw and dirty, full of tongue and moaning desperation. I gasp into his mouth, tugging at his bottom lip with sharp teeth and licking into his mouth sloppily as he grips my neck tighter with each swipe of my inexperienced tongue. I’m still such an amateur when it comes to kissing. But I think he likes that about me.

His fingers tremble over my face as I pull back from ravaging his mouth and smile at him in a hazy, drunken high caused by the atmosphere and the shot. My finger traces his wet lips.

“I really want to suck your dick right now,” I tell him pathetically, a desperate plea I know he can’t hear. He closes his eyes and says something that looks like the word fuck . When he opens them again, I smile.

He can read my lips.

Grabbing my wrist, he leads me deeper into the crowd, past the DJ, and into another tunnel that's further away from the main area. There's another couple making out close by, but I don't mind, and neither does Alex by the looks of it. He pulls me into the darkness, his lips closing over mine instantly.

It's still loud, the song so bassy I can feel it in my chest, but we have a little privacy tunnel where we can mess around without anyone seeing. Unless they walk over here, of course. It doesn't bother me as much as it should.

“Baby,” I moan against his mouth. His body shivers at the endearment I know he craves.

He pushes me, shoving me up against the wall.

I groan from the pain of cement scratching my exposed back. I grab his hip and dig my fingers in, pulling him closer. My lips crash over his, kissing violently. His mouth trails down my throat, sucking hickies into my neck. I pant his name over and over, trembling under his weight.

His hands grip my ass, making me jump up to straddle his hips. He shoves me back against the wall for leverage, but before we can go any further, we're interrupted by a couple fighting right beside us.

I turn my head as Alex kisses my neck, trying to get a look, and my eyes widen when I see a familiar face.

“Oh shit.” Alex must have felt my shock because he pulls back to see what has caught my attention, and we both stare at Colton, who is currently fighting with another boy his age.

And then their fight turns into a make-out session.

Alex and I turn to look at one another at the same time. We burst into laughter, shaking as we fight to breathe.

I place my forehead on his, eyes closed, just feeling him, remembering this moment.

I love him so much.

I never thought I'd be experiencing things like this—a boyfriend, illegal raves, friendships.

With Alex by my side, I can do anything and everything.