Page 19

ALEX

I pull up to his home on Christmas freaking Eve, late in the evening so I didn’t impose on their entire day, and park behind his car, my heart going bonkers in my chest. Grabbing my bag, I walk up the steps with the pace of a snail.

This is weird. I'm standing in front of Noel's door, and I'm freaking nervous.

My bag is slung over my shoulder, ready to stay the night with a guy over the holiday, which I've never done.

But he's never been just a guy.

He opens the door with a big smile, and I take a deep breath to settle myself.

It's going to be an interesting night.

“Hey, come in.” He grabs my hand and pulls me inside. “Mom, this is Alex,” Noel introduces me happily, eyes lit up full of excitement.

“Alex! I'm so happy to meet you! Come in; make yourself at home. And please call me Emma.”

His mother is an exact replica of Noel in the looks department with big, round eyes and a pretty smile, but where he's quiet and nervous, his mother is the opposite.

Exuberant, loud, and definitely extroverted.

“Hey, it's nice to meet you too,” I reply kindly, with feeling. I want to make a good impression.

I'm nervous, which I think Noel picks up on, so he gives my hand a squeeze. His mother blinks, startled by the contact, and glances from our joined hands to her son's face, whose eyes are on me, a kind, warm fondness in his gaze.

She didn't know. Noel didn't tell his mom that he likes me or that he's into a boy.

Oh my God, Noel, you idiot.

I wait for it. The outburst. The rage. The disgusting words that seem all too inevitable when faced with coming out. I'm prepared to defend him. To speak up on his behalf if his own mother condemns him for liking a boy. But the moment doesn't come.

“Oh,” she whispers, wide eyes softening, a smile forming on her lips before she chuckles. “Well, shall we get started on making these popcorn strings?” Hands on her hips, she tries to hide her growing smile but fails.

Noel finally turns his attention to his mother and nods, completely oblivious that he just came out to his mother. I bet he didn't even think about it like that. Simply accepted it for himself and didn't think it was a big deal to announce. “That'll be fun. Alex—” He glances at me, nudging my shoulder with his. “Have you ever done popcorn stringing?”

“No. What is it?” I ask, playing along.

“Well, you string… the popcorn.”

His mother hides her laugh by covering her mouth with her hand.

I smile along with her, my voice softening into an affectionate whisper. “Sounds fun, doe eyes,” I say tenderly, and I can see his mom tilt her head from my peripheral, curious at my pet name for her son.

Noel blushes, eyes dropping to our joined hands, flexing fingers in a fidgety way.

“You want to show me around?” I ask to give him something to do.

“Oh yeah, let's do that.” Noel looks at his mom, pulling me along as we leave the kitchen. “Mom, I'm going to take him to my room, and we'll be right back.”

“Take your time!” She yells back, as we're already at the door to his bedroom. “Take all the time you want,” she murmurs to herself, but I definitely hear it.

Noel shuts the door behind him, leaning against it as he watches me.

I sit on his bed, leaning back on my forearms. “You didn't think to tell her about us before I got here?”

He blinks slowly. “I told her you were my friend.”

“We are so past the just friend’s stage, Noel… friends don't kiss.”

“I wasn’t going to say all that…” he mumbles, blushing.

“You basically came out to her.”

He shrugs thoughtfully. “I guess?”

Rolling my eyes, I lay back fully on his bed, seeing fake, plastic stars on his ceiling. I chuckle at the glow in the dark planets; it's so Noel that it makes my insides all gooey and warm for the little nerd. He comes to lay beside me on his tiny bed, our arms touching.

“It doesn’t matter that you’re a boy. My mom is happy for me regardless. What makes me happy, makes her happy. It didn’t cross my mind to explain because it shouldn't have to be explained.”

“You're a lucky bastard, Noel.”

“I don’t think it's luck… My mother is just a decent, kind human being.”

“Yeah, she looks it. If only I had someone like your mom as my parent.”

He turns his head to look at me, but I keep my eyes on the star right above me.

“Sophia is a narcissistic bitch, and Sylas… Well, he isn't winning any parent of the year awards.”

“I'm sorry, Alex,” he apologizes low and breathy. “Where the hell is she?”

“Fuck if I know.”

“How can she just leave you alone like that? You only just turned eighteen.”

I chuckle humorlessly. “It’s hard for you to comprehend because your mom loves you deeply. Sophia… doesn't. She's just someone that's allowing me to crash at her place until graduation. After that, we won't ever talk again. There is no mother/son relationship of any kind there. She has never treated me as her son.” He grabs my hand, threading our fingers and giving a soft squeeze.

“Then she doesn’t deserve your love,” he states, matter of fact. “C'mon, get up.” He sits up, pulling my arm as he gets off the bed. “I’m your family now, which means stringing popcorn and watching movies while drinking hot chocolate.” His smile is so genuine, so kind, and so beautiful that I have to look away.

Oh, no.

There's that feeling again, a blossoming heat spreading throughout my body that’s both awful and wonderful at his declaration. I can't catch a break with this boy. It’s one thing after another; his actions and words, the way he makes me feel so damn good just being there, talking and listening, existing. I can’t fall for him this quickly, can I? That’s not possible. It’s been like, three days. Then again, it has been five years in the making, and I have always known what he made me feel deep in my soul.

“You okay?”

“I'm fine.”

I am not fine.

This is why I kept my distance. This is why I was terrified.

I am one hundred percent fucked.

NOEL

After staying up late to watch movies, making entirely too many popcorn strings to hang on the tree, and eating two boxes of pizza Mom ordered (tipping way more than we can afford because it’s Christmas Eve), Mom heads to bed, giving Alex the biggest hug he’s probably ever had because his cheeks pinken, hugging her back with a pat on her small back.

I giggle.

She whispers something to him, which makes him raise a brow and pull back to look down at her face. Then she spins around and gives me a big hug. “You two have fun and be safe. I’ll see you in the morning!”

“Okay, love you, Mom.” Her playful be safe doesn't make any sense, though. “Wait, be safe? why would we—”

“Have a good night,” Alex cuts me off loudly, both of his eyebrows sky high. He shakes his head at me.

“Uh. Right.”

She leaves with a smirk on her face, and Alex and I head to my bedroom.

It's strange. This is our second sleepover. The first night we didn't do anything sexual, as we just laid side by side in bed. I realize it's only been two days since we've become whatever it is we are. It's all moving quickly.

I wonder if tonight he wants to… do what we did in the fencing room.

With our hands.

That would be okay, right? It's not like we would be having sex; we'll just be using our hands to get each other off.

I should buy condoms.

And lube.

Just in case.

And I should talk to Ace about this stuff. He'd know what to do.

“What are you thinking about so intensely?” Alex walks over to my bed and sits.

“Hand jobs.”

His eyebrows raise comically high. “Okay then.”

I pull at my hoodie strings, hands needing something to do with all the thoughts in my head.

“Come sit down.”

“I'm okay standing.”

“Noel.”

I sigh. “Sorry. I'm nervous.”

“Why? It's just me.” He grins, all sharp teeth and cocky attitude.

“Exactly.”

He chuckles as he leans back and spreads out comfortably on my small bed. “I'm still the same kid you remember. The one that likes to draw on his arms and listen to you prattle on about constellations. So come sit down and relax.”

I glance at my door. Think over what I should do next, then lock it.

“Can I ask why you were thinking about hand jobs?” he asks me softly.

I sit facing him. “Will we do that again?”

“If you want to.” He looks at me suspiciously, unsure why I'm talking about this.

“Yes. I do.”

He laughs. It's a quiet sound, and amusement is glimmering in his bright blue eyes. He takes my hand and pulls me over his body, hugging me.

“We should take it slow. Enjoy being friends again, right?”

I nod enthusiastically. “I’d like that.”

“Tell me something you remember about us.”

Just like that, I melt against him; that calm feeling of being beside him hits me again.

“You made a joke about Uranus in class.”

He snorts. “That sounds like me.”

I giggle. “It made the whole class laugh. You were good at that.”

“But did I make you laugh?”

I turn my head up to face him. “Yeah.” I lower my voice, “But I wanted your attention on me. I was selfish with you. I wanted to be your best friend. Your only friend.”

He rubs at a spot on my back as I lay on my stomach over him. “Tell me more.”

“There was a kid that made fun of my clothes. As you know, that was the last year for us to wear our own before uniforms. Anyway, he was being mean, and next thing I know, you show up and tell me to go to the cafeteria. So I went to the cafeteria and waited for you.”

"Oh, wait, I remember that. I got into a fight with him.” He laughs. “That was Richard something. Yeah, I broke his nose.”

I smile.

“You were worried about me?”

“Yeah, well, you came back all disheveled; I knew you had fought him.”

“Psh, easy fight,” he gloats with a growing smirk.

“You're unbelievably cocky.”

“You like that about me.”

I drop my head down to his chest with a snicker. “Yeah, I do.” I yawn, not realizing how wiped I am.

“We should get some sleep.” Alex turns over, sliding me off him so we can face each other on our sides. “I'll go wash up first.” I grab his hand and kiss his knuckles. “I'll be right back, needy.”

I growl at him for saying that. I'm just overtired, and he feels so good in my bed.

He gets up and makes his way down the hall, where I hear the door open and shut.

I check the time on my phone. It's just past three in the morning. Damn, we really need to get sleep.

He comes back a few minutes later all fresh and pretty, his hair messy, tangled, and wet from the water he probably washed his face with. His clothes are just sweatpants and a T-shirt, but it's all so expensive-looking. It's my turn, and I have to force myself to get up, change clothes, and brush my teeth.

I enter wearing a holey shirt and shorts.

He's lying on my bed with his arms behind his head. He looks me up and down, like he's memorizing my appearance in detail. I hurry to the bed and snuggle up beside him the second I get under the covers. It's insane how quickly I pop a boner. The silence of the house and the fact that we are under the covers at this late hour make everything we say and do seem even more significant. His warmth feels incredible.

He huffs in amusement. “That was fast.” Before I can question what he means, his hand cups my chub, and I gasp. “Someone's eager to have me in their bed.”

“Alex, I can't help it.” I blush furiously, heart thumping. I know he can feel it. We're facing each other. His hand is still touching it.

He squeezes it and it flexes. I squeak, and I'm so shocked by the sound that I slap my hand over my mouth. He let's go, using that hand to grip my waist and bring our bodies closer.

“We need to go to sleep,” he whispers against my mouth, slowly bringing our lips together in a very hot kiss that immediately makes me throb and moan.

I am so unbelievably horny right now.

Alex seems content to just place gentle, slow kisses on my mouth. One after another. Opening me up with a flick of his tongue.

It's so fucking good.

With a strangled whine in the back of my throat, I taste him as I bring our mouths closer and tangle my fingers through his hair.

Yeah, this is the best holiday ever.