Page 3

ALEX

Thank fuck this is over.

I tear my headgear off, remove my lame' clip, and unplug my cord before I walk off the mat. Grabbing my water bottle, I chug a good amount before settling my eyes on Noel, who's hovering beside me, mask off and foil still in hand.

“What the hell was that?” he says with some bite, even though he's being quiet and hesitant. I grip my water so tightly that the plastic crackles in my palm.

“What are you going on about? I beat you,” I reply, chipper as a daisy. I smile wide, but it's fake.

“That wasn't your best.”

“You do love to pick fights with me. Newsflash: I win, you lose.” I wave him off with my other hand.

“I am well aware,” he says dryly before switching to a look of concern. “What's going on with you today? You lost focus out there.”

I grit my teeth and stare into his annoyingly intense brown eyes. The eye contact makes him uncomfortable because he fidgets and looks down. “Tummy ache. I was just so nervous out there competing against you.” I sigh, making fun of the situation because no way in hell am I telling him the real reason my heads all fucked up. That seeing everyone's parents out in the stands has thrown me off my game because mine are the only ones not here. It's so stupid. It's not like I want them here; I just…

“Hey,” Noel whispers and steps closer to me, effectively cutting off my train of thought. “You're doing it again. When you're upset, you start making jokes. It's like… your defense mechanism or something.” He shrugs, his gaze shifting to his shoes so he avoids my face.

My brow arches at his observation. “Wow, Dr. Phil, that's insightful of you. Kindly leave me alone now. Shoo shoo.” I wave him away with a flick of my wrist.

His head snaps up to meet my gaze. “You don't have to be so rude about it. I'm just asking what's wrong.”

What I need to do is call a therapist, but what do I do? I make a joke of the situation, avoiding all my deep trauma with humor.

I tilt my head in a playful manner as I stare at his naturally pouty lips. “Uh-oh, am I being rude again?” I take another gulp of water, and he crosses his arms. “You know, if you want to make me feel better, I'd gladly take a blowie. I did win, you know.” I smirk, then bite down hard on my bottom lip, giving his mouth a pointed glance. I watch as he gets flustered and angry, lips curling into a snarl.

“You're a fucking pig.” He pushes me hard, and I laugh, barely stumbling back.

“Aw, don't be a sore loser, Noel!”

“Fuck you,” he spits the words, enraged by my nonchalance.

“Oh,” I exhale with an amused grin. “You're angry angry.”

“I hate you,” he says so violently that I can't help the smirk that takes over my face.

“You really do,” I agree cheerfully. We stand at the same height, Noel's hands curling into fists, while I watch, entertained. He might actually hurt me today. “You desperately want to punch me, don't you?” For a long minute, our gazes lock on each other so intensely I feel a twinge of something else in his icy glare right before he steps back, eyes shifting around to look everywhere but at me. And I can't help but encourage him further, taking a little too much pleasure in our little moment.

“It might be worth it. I'm curious to know if you can fight.”

“We can't fight.”

“Says who?” I look around us for show. “Oh, you mean coach. Nah, Coach is used to it by now. She might be a little surprised to know you started it, though. However, she probably wouldn't believe me.”

He seethes. “Bye, Alex.” Stomping off, I watch him run a gloved hand through his dark hair.

“Bye, stargazer!” He doesn't turn back around to acknowledge my cheerfully snarky nickname, and I drop my smile. Annoyance flickers back to life inside me now that my game with Noel is over. His hatred and animosity towards me is a heavy presence with every encounter we have.

I deserve it, though. I know I'm an asshole.

Today, keeping up the pretense that nothing can bother me is tiring my ass out. All I want to do is wrap myself up in my weighted blanket, lay in bed, and sleep.

All of our team gathers so we can look over our score results, drinking water and wiping the dripping sweat off our faces. “Alex,” Coach calls for me, glare heavy and pointed like I'm about to be reprimanded.

Well, guess she saw our almost fight. I roll my eyes with a groan.

“Hey, coach, did you see me win? That makes you look great, ya know that? I owe it all to my coach. Best coach ever.” I go for the gold when I open my arms wide for a hug. She halts my open-armed hug with a palm to my chest.

“What was that with Noel?”

Playing off the hug, I run my hands through my slightly wet hair from sweating and let out a chuckle.

“Oh that? Noel was congratulating me on my win. Wasn't that nice of him?”

“Yeah, right. You two are the only ones that don't get along on my team. I'm excluding Levi from that because you two can at least put aside your differences and work together.”

My brow arches. “Nothing I can do about that, Coach. Some people just can't handle my personality.”

She sighs, eyes closing as she pinches the bridge of her nose in annoyance or whatever. I see her do this shit all the time. Teaching high schoolers must be sooo challenging.

“We'll talk about this later. I need to think about how I'm going to fix this.” Her chilly green eyes open and shoot their powerful coach-like influence over me with a glare. “No more fighting. Got it?”

I show offense as I scoff. “Fighting? Coach, I would never.”

She shoos me away.

We have our stupid little award ceremony and take a group picture, and then I leave, grabbing my things and heading to the showers quickly. I want to get home and away from so many people. I spend way too long under the hot spray, annoyance simmering in my blood as the water cascades down my flushed body.

I step out of the shower and towel off, not bothering to carry a conversation with any of the other guys that are in the locker room too.

“Would you put that thing away!” Levi yells at Grady, who's standing naked with a bottle of water in his upturned hand, guzzling it down. “Freakin' jump scare,” he murmurs, shaking his head and walking away.

"Aww, is someone jealous of Grady's shlong?” Ace giggles while ruffling his wet hair with a towel.

“No dick needs to be that big!”

“Speak for yourself,” Ace mutters.

I give him a sly glance, and he dips his head in laughter. “Afraid his peter piper might peck ya?” I ask in Levi’s direction to stir the pot. He snarls unattractively, and I grin in triumph, pulling on some gray joggers and a long shirt. I grab my duffle bag and book it out of there, past the showers and lockers slamming the door shut behind me. Coach steps out of her office and in my way right before I'm home free.

“Alex.” She always manages to say my name like a parent scolding their child. It'd be funny if I didn't always have a parent that spoke that way. “Okay, spill. What's the story with Noel? I've already spoken to him, but he is adamant that there's nothing to worry about.”

“Hmm Noel…” I squint my eyes and tap my chin. “No...el…not ringing any bells.” I shrug but coach ignores me.

“Lose the attitude. Did something happen that I'm unaware of?” Coach raises a suspicious eyebrow.

I snap my finger. “ Oh, you mean stargazer!” She rolls her eyes, and I continue on. “Why does everyone usually dislike me? Is it because I'm rich, handsome, and funny?” I raise my hands like a level shifting its weight. “Or could it be my charming personality and slight lack of morals? It's hard to guess why.” I shrug. “I'm a fuckin' ball of sunshine.”

Coach squeezes the bridge of her nose. Wow, she really needs to take some medicine for those headaches. “Alex, I need you to try a little harder to get along with him. I don't know if it's just your differing personalities that clash or something deeper, but he's—” Coach struggles for words like quiet , strange, shy, and introverted, so I help her out.

“Different?”

She fixes a stern look my way, and I chuckle.

“It's not a bad word, coach. C'mon. Don't you know being different is cool ?” I emphasize the word dryly.

“The others are trying to include him a little more in things they do outside of fencing too. I've heard Ace trying to get him to hang out outside of school. He's a good kid. Bright and kind. He's just… in need of friends. Some social interaction could do him good.”

“Your command is noted.” I fingergun her with a click of my tongue, slipping past her.

“I want you two to practice together when you're not here.”

I stop, slowly turning around with a tilt of my head. “What?”

“I'll speak to Noel about it, of course.” She pauses, assessing me in a calm manner. “You're a great foilist, Alex. But you lack motivation and focus. Noel has that, but he's lacking in a different area than you. I think you could help him with that. I want you two to learn from one another. Soak up knowledge he can offer you and vice versa. Got it? This isn't a punishment as much as a way for you both to grow and learn together. Clearly, the practices after school aren't enough for you two to get your shit together and clear the air. Let's give this a try. If you can't do that at least, then you're off the team. Same goes for Noel.”

I sigh with a drop of my head. “Do I have to?”

I can't believe she's threatening me with booting us off the fencing team. What kind of dictator is she?

“You're a snotty little brat most days,” she says fondly, “but I can tell you're a good kid. I know you haven't been here long, but I see your potential. I see Noel's potential, too. You could learn a lot from someone like him. And maybe he can learn some things from you, too…” When she lifts one side of her mouth to give me a rare smile, I grimace, and a little groan escapes, expressing my displeasure. “Give it a try. Work together outside of my practice days, and if I see improvement—in both your behaviors and in fencing—I'll let you both decide what to do after that. There's not much time left in our season. Make the most of it.”

I turn around so I don't have to look at her smug grin. “Fine. I'll practice with him,” I mumble loud enough for her to hear me.

“And be nice! If I find out you're fighting, there will be consequences.” I hear her yell from behind me as I walk out to the parking lot. I shake my head and let it drop.

Well, it looks like I'll be spending quality time together with him. He's gonna fuckin' love that. I wonder if he'll actually hit me. The thought has me mildly curious.

There are still groups of people leaving as I exit the fencing building, which is buried behind acres of woods. We're a small team sport at Knight's Valor Academy since there's not many of us on the team.

Once I'm out in the parking lot, I head to my car and unlock it when I see a flash of dark brown hair and an ugly bright yellow duffle bag. Two cars over is Noel getting in his own car. He sees me too, but doesn't say anything, quickly disregarding me.

“Hey,” I say, loud enough for him to hear me. I drop my duffle on the seat, and he freezes when he sees me shut my door, walking over to him. “Stop pouting. You can beat me in the next ridiculous club competition. Or better yet, let's have a duel to the death. I'll bring the real swords, and we'll have it out like real swordsmen.”

Noel looks down at his feet and shakes his head like he's too upset to look at me. He's always angry at me, understandably so. My head drops back as I look up at the sky that’s cloudy, feeling a raindrop. It's not so cold out that it'll snow, but it's getting there. The best kind of weather, honestly. I'd much rather deal with winters here in Vermont than be in sunny California. My father says it's because I'm a depressed, petulant shit. I beg to differ. I can be the life of the party if I want to be, or I'm throwing up middle fingers. Depends on my mood. I'm the best example of hot and cold, like Katy Perry once said.

I look back at Noel as I pull a cigarette and lighter from my loose sweats. He pops his head up, brown eyes wide open like an anime character. “The next time we fence, you better give it your all. None of that shit you pulled today. I plan on beating you before the end of the year, so don't disappoint me.”

“Oh my God, you're so embarrassing.” He glares, and I roll my head back with a groan at his very serious declaration. I drop my chin down to watch him curiously. His determination is weirdly inspiring while equal parts lame. How can he just say lines like that without it being cringeworthy to him? It's hilarious and adorable.

“And I will win,” he says with ease, sure and positive, disregarding my teasing.

I light up my cigarette when it's sitting between my lips, barely concealing my grin, and breathe in the first hit of nicotine. Thinking over what Coach Sarah demanded of me, I decide to be a good boy. Just this once. “Yeah, okay, fuck it,” I sigh with a chuckle.

Noel scrunches his dark brows in disbelief.

“If you win in a bout, it's 'cause I'm going to show you what it means to be the best.” I grin wide, putting on a cheery facade. “We're going to practice together.”

He cocks his head in question as I blow smoke to the left of his face.

“Practice with you? What the hell are you talking about? You wanted to fight me not even two hours ago.” He fiddles with the strings on his hoodie.

I raise an amused brow. “No, no, no. You wanted to fight me.”

“I—” he stops talking, eyes big and innocent like he didn't try and start some shit with me. “Yeah, well, you pissed me off.” He thinks it over for a second before shaking his head with a sigh. “I wasn't actually going to fight you. Anyway, are you messing with me? I doubt you'd want to fence with me just for the hell of it.”

Holding my cig out, I watch the butt burn, with my smile still in place. “I'd be honored to have our swords cross.”

His brows furrow. “What?”

“What?”

He shakes his head. “You're annoying.”

“You look like you could benefit from my knowledge. You kind of suck, stargazer,” I breathe out lightheartedly.

He fidgets, mouth opening and closing. I raise a brow, and he finally spits it out.

“You are such a dick.”

“I agree,” I say with mock seriousness, raising my eyebrows theatrically.

He runs his hand through his short, disheveled hair. “There's no way you'd volunteer your time to teach me shit. Tell me the truth.”

I slapped a hand to my chest. “The truth is it's coming from the goodness of my heart. I desperately want to see you succeed.”

Noel blinks, face stoic.

“Fine. Coach wants us to work out our little tiff by having us practice without the rest of the team. Thinks I can teach you some shit, and you can… teach me shit, too. If we don't at least try this, then we're off the team. No longer Knights .” I salute with an imaginary sword, a mockery of how we usually start our bouts.

He contemplates that for a long minute before nodding, accepting it far easier than I did. “I guess that makes more sense. She asked me earlier what our fight was about. I told her it wasn't a fight.”

“Could have been if you took that swing,” I sing playfully. “Always the good boy, huh?” I click my tongue. “Whatever, we have mandatory practices together now, so you gotta learn to tolerate me,” I say around a growing smile.

“If you're looking for someone to be your punching bag, it isn't going to be me. Take this seriously, and I won't be pushed to my limit where I want to hit you.”

“I'm a sweet fluffy puppy; whatever do you mean?” I'm met with a glacial glare. “No fighting.” I cross my heart, but he must not understand the gesture because he stares, dumbfounded.

“When do we have to start this?”

“When we're both free, I suppose.” I give him a once-over, tilting my head in the process. “You don't seem to be upset that we're partnering up. Thought you hated me, stargazer.”

Noel huffs, eyes turning into slits. “I can still hate you while we're forced to practice together, Alex.” He says my name callously, like I'm the problem here and not him. That's fair.

“You're such a snarky boy. Does anyone else get this treatment from you? Or am I just lucky?”

“Do you ever shut up?”

“Not usually. I like our banter. Gets me all tingly inside.”

Noel huffs, looking at the cars in the distance. “That's probably your medication working through your system.”

That makes me pause. “How do you know I take pills?”

His eyes drop to his sneakers, his face flushing pink. “I… don't.”

I take a step closer to him and watch him flinch back. “You spying on me, Noe?”

He meets my eyes. “I don't care enough about you to spy.”

“Then how do you know I take pills?”

He fidgets. “I've seen it. In your bag. You take antidepressant medication.”

I blink. What the hell? “Well, aren't you a nosy little fuck?" I flick ash off the butt of my cig.

“I wasn't trying to be nosy. I happened to see it when you were putting your clothes in your bag. I wasn't being sneaky or watching you. It was a quick glance.”

“And you happened to know exactly what those pills were for?”

“Yes.”

“What else did you see?”

“That’s it, Alex. I only saw the pills.”

I turn my head and watch cars driving out of the lot. “Right. I'm bored with this conversation, so I'm leaving.”

“Just text me when you want to practice,” he mumbles, looking unashamed of his nosy antics.

I walk off towards my car. “Oh, I will.”

“Okay. So, bye,” he snarks from behind me, and I almost chuckle.

Throwing my cigarette on the ground, I unlock my car and get in. Looking back outside the side window, I watch as he drives off in a little black car, going the opposite direction of where I'm headed.

Turning the volume up so I can forget about the last couple hours of my day, I head home. My house is exactly six minutes down the road. When I pull into my driveway, my mood plummets to level I hate my life, fuck this shit, because I spot a black Range Rover.

Sophia is here. I debate driving off, but I really just want to go to my room, lay in bed, and be the little shitty, depressed teenager that I am. When I walk inside my house, I see that she is in the kitchen with a drink in her hand, which means today must end in a y.

“What are you doing here?” I ask as I throw my bag to the floor, walking past the foyer.

“Don't ask stupid questions. It's not your house. I'm letting you crash here.”

“You're supposed to be in Vegas at a resort with your boyfriend.” I take a deep breath so I don't explode. Since moving in with her, I've realized she doesn't stay here long. She leaves for periods of time and shows up randomly for a couple days, only to leave again and do it all over. It's definitely because of me being here, but whatever.

“Came back early, obviously.”

I mentally shove my head in a wood chipper. “I'm going to my room.”

“How's school?” She asks pointedly, as if there's more she wants to say. I'm already walking away.

“Why are you asking me that? It's not like you give a fuck,” I mutter.

“Yeah, you’re right,” she raises her voice, pissed off at me. “I don’t care, darling. I only brought it up since I got a call from the school about you hitting someone.” At that, I turn around slowly. “Glad to know you're just like your father. The school isn't pressing the issue because they know your daddy will take them down if they tarnish your name.” She scoffs and throws back her glass like the pro she is. “I don't think you understand how privileged you are, Alex. Your father pays for your private school, your credit cards—” She pauses before waving her hands in the air with a big flourish. “You get this whole house to yourself when I’m not here. Show a little respect.”

“Don't be salty with me ‘cause you had to slut yourself out for my daddy's money. You’re just the woman he fell for when you were young and hot and dumped you after you got wrinkles.” I walk off without sparing her any more attention. “Lock the door on your way out, mother .”

“Fuck you! Ungrateful, spoiled brat,” I hear her say. “And don't fucking call me that!”

Entering my room, I lock the door behind me, unzipping my boots and kicking them off me before sluggishly walking over to my bed. I plop down and cover myself with my blankets, shutting my eyes and letting the exhausting stress of the day lull me into sleep.