Page 26

ALEX

“You’re gay?”

Of course, they're the first words out of Levi’s mouth when I walk into fencing club.

“Swords over whores,” I joke, shrugging. It was definitely funnier in my head, and I get a lot of snotty looks from the girls in the club, which, okay, probably not the best thing to say, joke or not. “Just kidding, ladies, I don’t think women are whores. Just my mom,” I continue on, Levi glaring at me the whole time. I get a few sighs like they are so over me.

“Have you fucked Ace?”

I snort in disbelief. This motherfucker. “Maybe. What’s it to you?” I grin mischievously and laugh in his face when he pushes me aggressively against the wall.

“Tell me you didn’t actually have sex with him, Alex.”

“You are an idiot.”

“Shut up,” he growls, shoving my shoulders harder into the wall.

“You realize he’s been fucking guys all year while you’re off with your girlfriends. Why do you care if it’s my dick inside him?”

His head turns away, unable to look at me. I roll my eyes.

“You’re no fun to tease. You get all pathetic. No, I haven’t fucked Ace, you stupid shit. But some advice? Ace isn’t going to wait forever for you to figure yourself out.” I lean my head closer down to his ear. He still can’t look at me. “I know what you really feel for him,” I whisper. He turns, dropping his fists from my shirt.

“I don’t.”

“You do,” I say with a grin, patting his cheek twice before slapping it hard. “And if you lay a hand on me like that again, I’ll fuck you up.”

Levi cups his reddened cheek, staring at me with wide eyes. “I…” He looks around him, lowering his voice to a whisper. “I can't. I’m straight. I don’t feel the same way he does for me.”

I drop my head back with a heavy sigh, staring up at the ceiling. How am I the person Levi feels most comfortable speaking to about this? I look back at his sad expression and say fuck it with a loud sigh.

“Maybe you’re less straight than you think. Go watch some guy-on-guy porn; I guarantee you your dick will go from this—” I curl my finger in front of him, “—to this.” I point my finger up in his face, and he glares, so I boop his nose.

He swats at my hand, so I drop it. “How did you know you were gay?”

“Seriously? That's the lamest question, Levi. And I'm bi, not gay. Let’s turn the question around to you, hmm? How do you know you’re straight?”

“Because I like girls.”

I scrunch my nose. “Do you, though?”

“Yes,” he says a little too forcefully.

I level him with a serious look. “Levi, this isn’t something I can help you with. If you want to talk, fine, but this is going nowhere. We’re also in Fencing Club, and anyone could hear us talking.”

He seems to sober up, glancing around nervously. “Yeah. I'll meet up with you later.”

Levi walks off, running a hand through black hair while I shake my head. “Why am I his guidance counselor?” I mutter.

“Whose guidance counselor?”

I jump, turning around to see Noel standing there with his yellow duffle bag.

“Hey,” I say, reaching a hand out.

“Oh, I wasn’t sure if we were doing this here…” His face flushes, but he grips my hand tight.

“You ashamed of me?” I tease him, leaning in close, hovering to be intimidating. He gives me his best glare.

“Not in the least. I just wasn’t sure if we were being public about it.”

“I can be public about it.” I raise my voice in a shout, “Hey guys! Noel and I are—OUCH!” Noel punches my stomach not so lightly. I chuckle while bent over.

“Nothing guys, Alex is just being a loser!”

They all make various sounds of agreement.

“Not funny.” Noel starts to walk away, but I run to catch up with him. He’s smiling, so I know he’s not really pissed with me.

“Come over and stay the night.”

“It's a school night.”

“And? You're a rebel. C'mon, your mom won't mind.”

He sighs, already giving in. “Okay.”

Even though our year is over, we still have club practices in the fencing room. KVA is done with tournaments, but individually, we can seek out tournaments if we want.

I know Noel will want to focus on his studies because it's senior year and his goal is to get into college for some important science shit. Ace may continue to do it, and I know Grady won't. Levi might, but who knows?

I don't have the time to. I have to figure out my fucking life.

I won't have a place to live soon, which is something that I've been hiding from Noel.

There's no way in hell I'm asking anyone if I can live with them until graduation. I won't do it. That's fucked up, and I refuse to be a burden on anyone, especially Noel.

His mom can barely afford just the two of them.

I don't have options. It's either live in my car or go to California while I figure out what to do next. I thought about getting an apartment to rent, but that went out the window when he cut off my card, so I'm basically fucked. I barely have any money to get food. I tried talking to him, but he won't listen. He said, “ It's time to come home now, Alex. You've had your fun.”

I'm really going to just dip out on my life here.

On Noel.

Hell, I'm even upset I'm dipping out on my friend's. Ace, Grady, and Levi have all become kind of like my… team.

We've had nothing but fun times together, and I'll miss that. Maybe I'll see them again in college.

For now, I have to worry about Noel finding out that I'm leaving. Sophia hasn’t come back to check on me or the house, and for that I’m grateful. They still haven't met, and I want to keep it that way.

I packed the things on my walls and my clothes; all of it is boxed up in my closet, waiting to be shipped to California.

Noel has only asked once, but I waved him off. “Sophia is redecorating and wants the walls painted.”

The kitchen and living room look the same since she's selling it furnished, so that helps my 'Don't tell Noel until last minute' plan.

I'm not ready. I don't want to spend these last few days fighting with him, so I'm going to make the most out of it until I see him again after graduation.

“Alex,” he pants my name while I kiss up his neck, nibbling at his ear. “We shouldn't do this in your kitchen. What if your mom comes home?”

I pull away, tugging at his hair to fully look at him with a cruel smirk as I lean him towards the island countertop. “Even more reason to do this out in the open.” I lick at his closed mouth as he tries to push me back.

“That's crazy. You’re not serious,” he says laughing. He palms my cheek, eyes slanting in suspicion. “You're playing with me.”

I huff a laugh through my nose. “Yes. Now shut up and let me kiss you.” I grab his face and get to work on his mouth, laying down every trick I have in the book, making him let loose shaky whimpers and panting moans.

I shove him back into the counter, parting his legs with one of my thighs for him to rub against me if he wants. I can feel every inch of him on the inside of my leg. We kiss for a long time, his tongue copying my movements as I ravish inside his mouth, and he ruts against my leg with whiny noises.

His mouth slides down to my chin, then my jaw. I feel him shake in nervous arousal as he breathes over my throat, wanting to kiss me there but not sure how.

I place my hand at the back of his head and push him into my neck. “Kiss me like I kiss you there.”

He latches on quickly, his lips wetly placing feather-like kisses on my neck, and I turn my head to give him room. “Rougher. Don't be afraid to hurt me.”

He makes a sound in his throat and does as I say, hesitant at first, but his mouth opens and I feel his teeth graze my skin.

My eyes roll back. “God, that's it; use your teeth. Bite down.”

Noel moans before opening his mouth wide and biting down gently. I let loose a shaky groan, and he licks over it, sucking the skin. I pull him tighter in my embrace.

“Fuck, yes. Mark me all over, doe eyes. I want bruises everywhere from you.”

He works on two separate spots on my neck and slowly sucks and nips his way over my throat and up my jaw to my lips.

He flicks his tongue over my mouth and stares at me with glistening, watery eyes.

I look down at him as I part my lips and let him snake his way inside.

His mouth crashes over mine with a whiny keen, and I close my eyes to savor it.

It doesn't take long for him to need air.

His head turns to the side, breaking our kiss, so he can catch his breath. His eyes shutter closed at being so stimulated.

“Hey,” I catch his face with my hand on his jaw. He brings wide, pretty eyes my way. “Are you at your limit?”

He furrows his brows, the light in his eyes shimmering in pleasure. “I think so.”

I kiss his cheek, his nose, and his lips. “Can we take another step tonight?” I ask him.

“Yes,” he immediately replies, and I smile, using my hand at his jaw to shake his head sideways.

“So eager,” I tease, placing another gentle kiss on his lips. I let him go, stepping back and going into the pantry for snacks. He breathes heavily, cheeks red as he tries to collect himself. He adjusts his boner, but it doesn't help. I can still tell he's hard. I'm fucking hard. Teaching him how to give me hickeys was like the best foreplay I've ever had.

I grab a few snack bags and two water bottles.

It's been a while since we drank or ate anything, and Noel is probably too shy to ask for food.

“Here, catch.” I throw him a bag of potato chips, and he catches it as I leave the pantry.

“Thanks.” His face lights up in appreciation.

We walk into the movie room and take our usual seats on the large sofa as soon as we get there, cuddling up together so our bodies are touching. I lay out, legs straight out on the wide cushions, while he cuddles against my side, head laying on my shoulder. “Which show do you want to start?” I ask absentmindedly. I don't plan on watching whatever he chooses anyway.

“The hero one?”

“Mmm. Got it.” I turn on the screen and speak into the remote to open up my anime log in, all while staring at Noel as he gets comfortable beside me.

As soon as the anime starts, I'm on him. I shove him a little bit so I can climb over him, straddling his waist and lowering myself over his groin. I take his head in my hands gently, thumbs caressing his high cheekbones. His face is undeniably gorgeous.

“Al—” I kiss him before he can finish saying my name. He gasps, and I use that moment to part his lips, my tongue slipping inside with a low groan. His arms wrap around my body, squeezing my back as he brings me closer. We breathe each other in, completely consumed with one another. I can feel him tremble beneath me. Is he nervous? Excited? Probably both. Slowly, I gyrate my hips over his lap and his breathing hitches.

“I thought we were going to watch anime?” His question comes out shaky and I smile.

“You can watch all the anime you want,” I whisper against his ear, nibbling his lobe.

“I don't know if I can… keep kissing like… this.”

I chuckle while trailing kisses from his ear down to his neck. “I want you to fuck me.”

A choking sound erupts from his throat before he pushes me away to look at my face. “Wh-what?” He looks all kinds of horrified. “But I thought we were taking things slow… and I thought I would be the one to uh…” I raise a brow, but he doesn't finish his thought. “Aren’t you a virgin… in that way?”

“Yup. And you can say no; we are taking things slow. I just asked about taking another step.”

He thinks it over, watching me. “Alex,” he breathes. “I feel like this is the top of the staircase of our steps.”

I chuckle. “We don't have to do this now. We can wait.” I shrug.

“I've never—I mean, obviously I haven't had sex, but—are you serious?” He finally manages to finish a question.

I pull out a condom and a pack of lube from my pocket as an answer, holding it up for him. “Will you be my first, Noel?” I ask innocently, lightening the mood with some humor, but he looks afraid.

Noel hesitates before reaching a decision. “Can you… show me what to do?”

I grin. “All you have to do is sit there and enjoy the ride to kingdom come.” Before he can question it anymore, I stand, lift my shirt over my head, and pull my pants down. I help him pull his sweats completely off too.

His cheeks pinken first, then become a pretty shade of red. I sit on his lap and rip open the condom wrapper with my teeth. His dick is hard, leaking, and ready for me to cover it up, so I show him how, all the while he pants, breath picking up harshly as I slide the rubber down his length.

“It's going to feel good, Noe. Okay? I want you to feel good.”

“What if I hurt you? The thought of hurting you is—”

I almost choke on a laugh but stop myself, cutting him off with a finger to his lips. “I want this. I want you to be my first. If you hate it then we won't do it again.” If I have to leave him for a while when I go back to California, I want him to have this. I want him to have a part of me no one else will ever have. Maybe I'm being sentimental, but Noel means… everything to me.

His eyes seem to glisten, a wet sheen of tears in his vision, but he nods, and I open the small packet of lubricant, the gel coating my two fingers. I reach a hand behind me to circle my hole, closing my eyes as I slip a finger inside, making me flinch a little. I exhale slowly, allowing my body to relax.

He must feel my tension because he leans forward and kisses me softly on the lips. I smile and kiss him back, the both of us becoming hungry for each other as I prepare myself. It takes time for me to acclimate to the intrusion. One finger, then two, stretching myself open so I can take him.

Noel's hand hovers right over my erection while he slips his other hand up my shirt, feeling over my abs with hesitant fingers. I push my hips forward, dick bobbing next to his idle hand for him to get the hint. He does. Smart boy.

He grips my shaft, choking my dick like how I showed him and I gasp over his mouth, moaning while my tongue traces his plump lower lip.

He uses his thumb to rub a circle over my wet tip, and I break away from our kiss to drop my head back. It feels so good.

“I'm ready.” I'm most definitely not ready and probably rushing it, but I'm too eager. I want to feel as close to Noel as I can possibly get. And I want him deep inside me, so I grip it at the base and hover over the length, my hole clenching down on his tip before it even breaches me. Fuck, I'm tighter than I wanted to be. I’ve never had anything in me, not even on my own as I jerk off. It's not my initial preference. However, I want to do this with Noel. I'm aching for it. I haven't been able to think of anything else for a while now. I want to see him lose control, blissed out, and coming hard.

Noel looks like he's not breathing, so I grab his face with one hand to get his attention, and his hazy eyes pop open. “You with me?”

“Yes,” he whispers, eyes glazed over in lust-filled euphoria. So damn pretty and innocent. “I'm with you.”

I lower myself over his cock, panting heavily. My knees dig into the soft, plush couch beside his thick thighs. My world zeros in on the feel of Noel as he buries himself in me even though he's not moving at all. Every movement is my own. Not because I don't trust him to fuck me, but because I want his first time to be good, and I know I can make it amazing for him.

Shit, I'm softer than a goddamn marshmallow for him. However, my dick is the opposite of that. I'm harder than I've ever been. His dick is just the right girth and length. He feels so fucking good, and it's just slightly past the tip. I won't lie, it burns like a bitch, but once I get moving, it’ll be good. I'm sure of it.

“Just wait until I start bouncing on your cock. You'll blow your load in no time.”

His fingers tighten around my waist. “Alex, don’t talk like that; I'm going to come,” his shaky voice wavers, matching the way his fingers tremble on my hips.

“Don't you dare. You're barely inside my ass.” I push down slowly, and he fills me up inch by inch. It's agonizingly sweet. Painful, but I can take it. My ass clenches around him and I start moving, slowly sliding up and down his length. “Oh, there we go. Fucking finally.” I seat myself over him, my ass ready for more harsh movements now that I've opened up some more.

He groans. “Do you feel good? Am I hurting you?” he asks, all precious and polite. It turns my gut to mush.

“Shut up, Noel. You're not hurting me. Your dick is just girthy like a fist,” I huff a laugh that sounds more like a moan while I work on getting the fucker up my hole while using my knees to bounce on his cock like I said I would. “You close still?”

I know he won't last long, so I start stroking myself. He looks in pain, bunched eyebrows, forehead creased with little wrinkles. It's so adorable and hot that I chuckle, leaning forward to take his mouth again as he pants against my lips. “Fuck, you're so pretty,” I tell him honestly, getting lightheaded and a floaty, relaxed feeling.

“I'm close,” he gasps. “Like right about to—” I cut him off as I suck on his tongue and kiss his mouth desperately. “ Alex ,” he exhales my name into my mouth and groans. He shivers as he holds my face in his large hands, our lips still connected while I lick into his mouth. With each deep stroke, I get so full of Noel that I have to grit my teeth and tug at his hair to keep from screaming with pleasure and letting him know how fucking gone I am. We're a sweaty, slippery mess of sweat, heat, and my sticky precum that's leaked on his shirt. I lift the hem and feel over his abs, pinching his nipples and teasing my fingers over his ribcage.

He grips my ribs with both hands and shoves me down on his cock, taking control of who's topping, and it sure as fuck isn't me right now.

I throw my head back, gasping. “ Fuck me, yes, that's it, fuck me up, Noel.”

I can hardly believe it's my voice and my words saying this shit. But it's all so true, and I'm feeling like a real subby bottom right now—holy hell, it feels good.

Again and again, he pulls me down over his cock, hitting a sensitive spot inside me, controlling the movements with harsh thrusts. He tenses up and comes with a little gasp as his fingernails dig deep in my sides. I continue to impale myself on his length, shoving him deep in my ass while I jerk myself over his stomach quickly and come right as his orgasm finishes.

“Give it to me, Noel.” My hand cups his face and I bring my lips to his, kissing him as an orgasm lights up my spine. Having him buried inside me while I break apart feels better than I could have imagined. Waves of intense pleasure have me moaning his name as my ass clenches around his cock, my balls tighten as I cum over his tight, toned abs. I break our kiss, trailing my lips down his throat as hot cum spills over my fist. It's messy, and I love it. I gasp into his neck as my orgasm continues on, my load getting all over his shirt and my hand. But fuck it, all I care about is how good he feels inside me and how sated I am. The euphoric high after an orgasm so intense that you can't think or walk properly sinks in. I feel so close to Noel, like I'm bearing my soul to him.

When I finish, I lay there breathing in the scent of his sweat-slick skin. I lick a stripe up his neck lazily; the taste is like a salty breeze on the beach. I nibble at his throat, and bite down on the smallest amount of his smooth skin to get a reaction out of him.

He shivers and gasps before breathing out slowly. “Sorry, that should have lasted longer, right?”

I chuckle at his honesty; it's not the least bit embarrassed or ashamed. “It's our first time; I was expecting it to be quick.” He hugs me tight to his body, and I let him, as a warm, floaty feeling blossoms in my chest. I lift up, and he slips out. I wince at the pain.

The condom is filled, so I take it off his softening dick with care and twist it around so the cum doesn't drip everywhere. Placing it on the floor, I don't give it much thought if a little bit spills out. There's probably been worse things spilled on the carpet anyway.

I just want to keep Noel close to me.

“Now we can watch anime.” I slip my sweats back on, and Noel does the same before I climb back over his lap to straddle him again and give his lips one more gentle, slow kiss, wanting affection now more than usual.

“I've been watching this whole time,” he jokes as I pull away from his mouth. I can feel him smirk. Holy shit. He actually made a funny joke .

I laugh, pulling at the back of his hair so I can look at his face. “I wouldn't put it past you to watch anime while I sit on your dick. You're that much of a weeb.” I swipe my tongue over his lips, and he makes a cute, disgusted face. “But I like that about you,” I whisper, and his back straightens.

“Yeah? You like me?” His growing smirk is lethal. It’s sexy, and he doesn’t even realize.

I push his shoulder. “Shut up.”

“What else do you like about me?” He asks the question so timidly that I pause before retorting something snarky.

“Your big cock.”

Well, I tried.

He rolls his eyes but stays silent. Waiting. I sigh, giving up and deciding to tell the truth. “I like how sincere you are, I guess.” He blinks, and I groan in frustration.

“Ugh whatever! You're kind,” I say begrudgingly. “You're just…” Sighing, I just go for it. “Your love and passion for astronomy, the way you light up when we're watching anime.” Noel reaches for my hand and threads our fingers together. His eyes shift from mine to his lap and back again. Smiling and a bit shy because I'm basically giving out free compliments to the shithead.

“Go on.” Noel nudges me softly.

“Fuck you, that's plenty of reasons.”

“Okay, okay. Is it my turn now?”

I put my hand over his mouth—no way do I want to hear what he has to say about me. “Nope. Don't want to hear it.” He licks my palm, and I drop my hand.

“Ugh, nasty.”

He giggles. It's disgustingly adorable. “You're funny without meaning to be. I’m starting to understand your sarcasm, which is hard for me to pick up on when other people do it. Your talent in everything you do, specifically fencing and drawing.” My heart thumps too fast in my chest, and I feel sick. “You're sweet and kind. I like that we have common interests and can talk easily. You don’t seem to mind any of my… neurodivergent traits.” He flushes, biting at his lip.

I had already known he was on the spectrum, but this is the first time he’s mentioned it. “You're just Noel to me,” I say softly, so he understands that those things are part of who he is, and I like every part of him.

He smiles. “Thanks.”

“You're amazing,” I say firmly, to get the point across. His smile is blinding.

“I like you, Alex.”

Yeah, that feels nice. His easy admission that he cares for me. Likes me. There's a long moment of silence before I respond. “Is it Tuesday?”

His eyebrows furrow in thought. “Yeah?”

“Then I like you too, I guess.”

His smile drops when he remembers the joke. “I take it back. I hate you.”

I bite my lip to suppress my grin. “Liar.”

We settle into a comfortable silence as we lie down and watch anime on the big screen with our arms still around one another.

A heavy, settling feeling overwhelms me. Right now, I feel the happiest I've ever felt. I'm more than content. This thing with Noel is stronger than I could have ever thought. I peek at him and find that he's watching in awe at the fight scene, and my chest tightens. I reach out, stroking his cheek. He turns and smiles at me before kissing my lips. It's just a peck, but it makes my breath stutter.

“I like you too.”

His lashes flutter before looking right into my soul. I give him a rare glimpse of my honesty by keeping our gazes locked, not smirking or making a rude comment, but letting him really see me.

I show him I mean it as my hands drift through his hair with a gentleness I only ever feel around him.

“I'm so happy you made your way back to me,” he confesses. “I missed you. More than you'll ever know.”

I swallow past a lump in my throat. Ashamed at myself for what I did to him, but thankful he kept me in his thoughts, his memories, waiting for me. I lean forward, whispering, “I'll always make my way back to you, okay? I promise.”

“Swear it?”

“Cross my heart,” I tease, while guilt eats up my stomach. He grabs my face in his warm hands and strokes my cheek.

“Swear it, Alex.” His intensity is so strong I don't have it in me to make a joke, so I nod.

“I swear.”

He pulls me forward, tilting my head so he can place a singular kiss on my lips, and it feels dangerous.

My heart is pounding too fast.

“Good boy,” he breathes, smirking before kissing me again, but this time it's slow, teasing my mouth to part open as his hot tongue slips inside. I groan as the tip circles mine playfully, and I pull back to catch my breath, panting over his mouth.

He grins wickedly, an all-knowing lift of the corner of his mouth that I know is all mine.

“I taught you too well,” I grumble.

“You like it,” he states, all confidence and ego.

And yeah… I fucking love it.

“C'mere.” I pull him back to me, crushing our lips together.

I have a feeling we'll be in here all night.