Page 11

NOEL

I'm washing dishes when my cell chimes with an incoming text. I'm almost afraid to look, knowing it's Friday night. I could just ignore it, but it might be Alex. I glance at where it's sat on my counter, lit up.

Ace: We're going to a house party at 10:00. I'll come pick you up! Wear something cute.

I glance down at my faded gray tee shirt with jeans and shake my head. He texts again.

Ace : On second thought I'll come early and help you.

I attempt to respond that I'm not going when another text comes through.

Ace: What are your thoughts on makeup?

Why would I have any thoughts about makeup?

Another text. Ace: You're like my Cinderella tonight. I'm your fairy godmother Lol

I squint at the message, trying to figure out why I'd be Cinderella. Is he drunk texting me?

I dry off my hands and pick my phone up, texting back, Do I have to go?

Ace: YES.

I squeeze my eyes shut when I feel an oncoming headache. Ace isn't going to give up on this.

Alright, I respond.

Ace: Yay!!!! I'll be there later to make you glass slippers *heart emoji*

I shove my phone in my back pocket with a sigh. I guess I'm going to my first house party tonight. Maybe Alex will show up? My heart thumps aggressively against my ribs thinking about seeing him, and I swallow back my nerves.

I text Alex quickly.

Noel : Are you going to the party? Ace is making me go.

I don’t get a reply back, so I wait for Ace to show up, a little disappointed.

“Bippity bippity boo, bitch,” Ace greets me enthusiastically when I open my front door. He's holding a bag up in the air theatrically before he shoves me out of the way and comes in uninvited. I show him to my room quickly, glancing curiously at his face for a reaction to the size of my house, but he looks uninterested in it all. Just barrels into my bedroom like it's his own.

“I brought lots of my old boyfriend's clothes that look to be your size since I'm much smaller than you and grabbed what I thought would look best with your body—which, let's be honest, anything will look better than what you're wearing—so let's get started.”

My eyebrows shoot up. He really wants to dress me up? “Are my clothes that horrible?”

My shirts are neutral and loose, and my jeans are old and faded, but they're fitted correctly. I wear converse mostly, but sometimes boots. I think it's all comfortable and appropriate.

I look over what Ace is wearing and compare. He's smaller than me and inches shorter, with curly, light brown hair shaved to the scalp on the sides while the top is unruly and shiny. He's got tiny silver hoops in his ears that I've never noticed before.

His clothes are pretty and bright. The shirt is deep purple and paired with high-waisted black pants that for some reason, have ripped fabric underneath. The belt at his tiny waist has two C's on the buckle, except one is backwards. He doesn't respond to my question but shoots me a look I can't decipher.

“What's that under your pants?” I ask, curious when I notice something peeking through the ripped jeans.

“My fishnets? You like them?” He tilts his head and eyes me with fascination.

“It doesn't look comfortable.”

“Eh, whatever, they're cute.” Ace chuckles airily, winking at me before tipping the large bag of clothes upside down over my small bed. He rummages around before holding up a sheer black shirt.

“Stand over here so I can see.” I do as he says. “This with some dark jeans maybe? And a hint of smudged dark eyeshadow to make your eyes pop.”

“I guess,” I chuckle uncomfortably. “Hey, Ace?”

“Yeah?”

“Does everyone call you Ace?” I ask, curious about his nickname.

His eyes get big, his lips turning down into a thin line. “I don’t like my name.”

“Oh. Theodore?”

He flinches. “Yes, that.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know—”

He inhales a deep breath and shakes his head. “No worries,” he quickly cuts me off with a wave of his hand.

Theres an awkward silence, but I can feel the tension in the air from my stupid question, so I reach out a hand to touch his. His gaze meets mine, but this time he’s smiling. “It’s just old trauma; don’t sweat it.”

I nod, feeling awful for even bringing it up. “You don’t owe me any sort of explanation.”

He waves it off. “Let’s get you dolled up, yeah?” His hand reaches to my hair as he tousles a strand around his finger playfully.

“Ace, can I ask why you’re doing this?”

“Because you're a hottie that needs guidance.” He laughs, pulling out a pouch from his bag with little stars on it. “Honestly, it's more than that.”

I wait for him to keep going. He shrugs. “We're teammates. I want to be your friend. I've been trying to be since the beginning of the year, but someone won't let me get close.” He squints accusatory, and I blink, not saying anything.

He stops pulling makeup out of his bag and looks at me sadly. “Why is it so hard for you to let me in? I don't really understand.”

“I'm not used to having any friends,” I answer with a shrug. “I like being alone. Solitude is something I need, so having any sort of friendship never really appealed to me. It seems exhausting. But I feel like, maybe if it were you, it wouldn't be so bad. You’ve got enough energy for the both of us, and I feel like I can be myself around you.”

The silence is deafening, but his face reveals his surprise and awe. “Noel…” His jaw clenches, and he looks away for a moment, eyes glistening. “I just want you to know, you’re really cool, and I like spending time with you. I feel like you and I could be best friends… You're so sweet and funny.” He chuckles softly, looking back at me with a smile. “You can always be yourself around me, and don't ever be afraid I'll hurt you; I promise I won't. I'm a very reliable, trustworthy friend. You can ask Grady.” He nods once, a stern expression making his nose crinkle.

Heat rises in my cheeks at his seriousness. “Alright, I believe you,” I say, smiling. “So, Grady and Levi will be there?” I change the subject, but he doesn't comment on it.

“Yup. We’ll see them. And you're going to look incredible after I'm done with you, so buckle up, buttercup.” He holds up a brush of some sort.

I cringe. “If you say so.”

He grins slowly. “Clothes off. Also, what's your shoe size?”

After being Cinderella-d, I give Ace my thanks and hope that he didn't just do this as a prank or something that will embarrass me later on.

Because I don't look anything like myself.

My black jeans are too tight, my boots are clunky with too many buckles, and my shirt is too thin and small. Sheer black. The material is stretchy and tight over my arms and stomach, and my nipples are showing because it's basically see-through.

Ace explains that it's a high-fashion top that's really expensive, and I cringe.

My hair is styled messily with purposeful disarray. It's wavy and smells like coconuts and seawater. But perhaps the most shocking thing is how much I love the eye makeup.

The black eyeshadow he applied has a blur effect that is smeared at the corners. There's the smallest amount of the eye product on my bottom and top lid, which brings out some lighter color in my usually dark brown eyes. It's not explicitly a fact that I'm wearing makeup, but the hint is just enough to make my face look model-worthy.

At least that's what Ace explains to me.

Ace accomplished what he set out to do, which was to transform me.

Ace’s hands close together, pretending to swoon over me, chuckling when he sees my expression shift.

“C'mon, let's head over to the party. It's a few blocks away from my house. Tyler's parents are vacationing right now, which means it's going to be a big thing.”

He gathers up his things, and we leave my bedroom. I lock up the house before I follow him out, my boots clinking obnoxiously with each step I take. How did these fit in his bag?

“Do I really look good?” I ask, anxious that I'm making a fool of myself.

Ace spins around, a sneaky smile lighting up his face. “Trying to impress someone tonight?”

“Of course not.”

He clicks his tongue. “Are you sure about that?”

“Yes.” Heat creeps up my neck, my cheeks warming at the question.

“Hold up. Who is it?”

“No one,” I mutter.

Ace squints like he's trying to figure me out, and I squirm at the uncomfortable feeling of being watched so intently. “Is she on the team?”

“I just told you, no.”

“Okay, sorry, I don't mean to be so pushy. Just tell me to shut up if I start making you uncomfortable.”

“Yeah… okay.”

Alex’s face is there, haunting me with a flood of memories. I don’t know why I’m thinking of him now when Ace is adamant I like someone. I don’t like Alex like that… he’s just… someone from my past. And yes, lately he and I have begun to be friends again, I think .

Ace drives us to his house so he can park first, then we walk to the party, chatting about topics that I try my best to follow, but I can’t help thinking about his earlier question, and my mind wanders.

Alex is always there, a stab wound to my heart that won’t heal. Always beating, bleeding, and breaking with each day he doesn't remember me.

Our shared past is a river of different emotions that is constantly flowing through my mind.

The moment everything changed for me.

Noel, past

The first week of us pairing up for the project I was curious about my new partner. I asked him questions I normally wouldn't ask other kids while he drew on his forearm. I stared at him, completely fascinated with his art. He drew all sorts of small things. Birds, trees, and then he started to draw stars and planets. My chest tightened as I watched him place a shooting star right in the crook of his elbow. He'd draw and I'd ask the questions. Sometimes he answered with one word. Other times he elaborated.

Yesterday, I asked what he likes to eat. He thought hard about his answer before telling me he likes anything peanut butter, and I nodded. We continued to work on our spreadsheet in comfortable silence.

When I went home, I went straight to the kitchen. Mom always stocked up at the food Mart when there were sales, so I knew for a fact she had extra items.

Now, as I wait for him to enter the classroom, my legs bounce under the table in anticipation. When he eventually walks in, I look down at my desk, nervous for some reason. He walks over to me but stops when he sees what's on the desk. He chuckles. “Yummy.” He picks up the peanut butter jar. “For me?” I murmur yes, and he opens the lid, shoving his finger in and popping it in his mouth. “Why did you bring this for me?”

With my head still down, I peek up at his face. “You said you like it.”

“I do.” He continues to eat from the jar. The teacher calls attention to herself for us to start our day, and Alex sits beside me. I grin knowing he likes it and take out my homework from last night.

The next day, I find a keychain on my desk of a shooting star. I hold on to it tightly, the biggest grin on my face I've ever felt there before.

“Alex?” I say softly, emotion clogging my throat.

He turns, and we stare at each other, neither of us speaking. I don't have to say anything though, because he knows. He can always read me so well.

“Made me think of you.” He shrugs easily. “You've got stars in your eyes, you know,” he whispers, a playful smirk turning his mouth upward.

My breath catches, and I think I can see the stars he's talking about right there in my vision. I struggle to swallow for some reason, a warm blush working its way up my neck to my face.

I turn away quickly, not wanting him to see my embarrassment.

“Does anyone know what the biggest planet is?”

The room is silent until one student coughs. The teacher smiles while glancing from one student to the next until she lands on Alex.

“Alex? Care to take a guess?”

“I don't know. But I do know sixty-three Earths can fit inside Uranus.”

The entire class erupts in giggles while Alex grins innocently up at the teacher. She shuts her eyes and sighs deeply. “Always the comedian.”

Placing a hand over my mouth to hide the fact I'm smiling too, he glances over at me quickly, sees my amused expression, and winks. My cheeks warm immediately, eyes shooting back to the whiteboard to stare at the solar system.

After class as I'm walking to my locker, I overhear a kid talking while looking at me angrily.

“He's wearing second-hand clothes,” he says loudly. “My mom saw his mom in the thrift store while she was donating a bag. Isn't that crazy?”

“Wait, so they're poor?”

“Yeah. I think he's here on a partial scholarship.”

Their hushed words don't really bother me, but I don't exactly like being talked about. The attention is more humiliating than anything.

I hunch over as I walk past them, towards the lunch room, as someone steps in my way. My eyes jerk up to find the classmate whose name I don't know, with his hands on his hips, glaring at me.

“Yes?” I ask politely.

“You're poor?” His smirk is anything but kind, and I know he means to pick on me.

“What?”

“What are you trying to fit in our world? My father pays twenty grand a year for me to attend, and you get in for less because you're poor? How's that fair?” So, his poison is hurtful words. These kids are offended by the dumbest things. Do they not understand how scholarships work? His version of twenty grand is on another level from my version.

I can feel the attention of other kids stopping to watch, whispering to one another with my name passing their lips. My stomach sinks, and I can feel the first signs of an anxiety attack taking over; my hands start to shake and my breathing picks up. Heat infuses my face.

“Why are you upset by that? It doesn't affect you,” I say shakily, my heartbeat thumping loudly in my tight chest.

He shoves a blunt, pointed finger into my shoulder, and I stumble back, blinking in surprise.

“Richie Rich, why am I not surprised it's you?” A taunting voice speaks up over the silence as Alex shows up out of nowhere, steps up beside me, and throws an arm over my shoulder. He pulls me close, and my body instantly relaxes, letting out a slow, measured breath of relief.

“Noel, can you grab my lunch for me in my locker? I forgot it. I'll meet you in the cafeteria.”

He drops the arm from around me and nudges my side softly with his elbow, offering me a sharp smirk. I nod, grateful for his interruption.

“Sure. Okay.”

As I walk away, I can hear a commotion behind me. There's lots of gasps, someone shouts, and then a boy screams, “Fight!” and everyone joins in with chanting.

I keep my eyes forward, doing what Alex told me to do.

I open his locker but find no lunchbox.

Which is strange that he says he has one, because he usually gets lunch from the school, sharing most of it with me.

In fact, I don't even know what his lunchbox looks like. I shut the locker and walk back to the cafeteria, going the opposite direction of where the crowd is gathered.

When I make it to my usual peaceful table, Alex still isn't there, so I sit down and wait, pulling out my bagged lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwich, an apple, and some saltine crackers.

I'm halfway through with my sandwich when Alex pulls out a chair in front of me, sits down, and grins. “Miss me?”

I glance up at him and reply lazily. “Hardly.”

He pouts dramatically, and I notice his lip is cut. A line of blood is bubbling up.

“Your lip,” I say, reaching a hand out to him immediately. My thumb barely touches his mouth before he's pulling away with a wince.

“It's nothing.”

“But you're bleeding,” I cry out, attempting to reach for his mouth to blot it or something. He doesn't let me; he just smiles with his eyes shut.

“Stop it; I'm good. You worry too much.” He wipes at it using the back of his hand, and it leaves a long streak of blood there that turns my stomach.

I sigh and let it go. It's no use trying to coddle him. Alex will only turn me away. Affection of any kind isn't really his thing. “Okay, fine. And, uh… I guess I missed you. Also, I couldn't find your lunchbox.”

He laughs. “Oh yeah, I totally forgot it today. Wanna wait in line with me? You can have my dessert.”

“Yeah? Why's that?” I play along since I know he won't want to talk about his injury. Alex hates talking about anything substantial; he mostly wants to play games and make jokes. He doesn't drop the playfulness at all around me. I kind of want him to just hit pause on it for a moment and tell me something real. Let me see inside his head for a little bit.

Maybe it’s me though. Maybe other kids don't think like I do.

Standing, he adjusts his crooked, loosening knot to make it straight again. He glances over at me with a frown, lines marring his forehead like he's deep in thought, but it changes suddenly. Dropping the serious expression, his face relaxes with an easy smile.

“You don't want strawberry shortcake then?”

I look away. “Well, I didn't say that...”

Tonight is the night. The final for our project we've been working on for a month. The big meteor shower.

Alex said he'd meet me here, where it's open and we can see the stars without so many trees in our line of vision. It's a large field close to my home, so I was able to walk here without my mom keeping watch. I've been looking forward to this day for weeks. Tonight we're going to stargaze together. My favorite thing in the world to do.

I lay out the ratty blanket my mom gave me and place the bag of peanut butter bites on one side. I place a large lantern in the corner, light bright with a white glow, and two flashlights just in case. The telescope my mom bought for my birthday is all set up and ready for us.

I hear a car door shut, and I look over to the road. Alex has a backpack on, hands shoved in his jacket pockets, and his expression is anything but relaxed. It's all hard, angry lines. He spits on the ground and doesn't look back when the car drives off.

“Hey, Alex,” I say nervously. He looks up, his face softening into one I know well.

“Hey.”

The lantern gives off enough light for me to see a red mark on his chin, like he might have gotten hurt. I choose to ignore it and sit cross-legged on the blanket, knowing Alex would rather I not bring up when he has an injury. He reaches the blanket and throws off his bag.

“Sorry, I'm late. Did I miss anything?”

“No, we still have a few minutes.” I look up and admire the vast, dark night sky. It's not cloudy at all. Perfect weather. It's chilly, seeing how it's November, but I have on a thick sweater and jacket over it. Alex has a puffy coat on too.

My hands sweat inside my pockets with nervous adrenaline. I'm bouncing with excitement over this. Our teacher assigned the project specifically for this event. This meteor shower is one that comes around every thirty-three years or so. The Leonid meteor will shower around midnight, so we'll be here for hours. We'll get to share this moment and have it to remember forever.

“You're smiling a lot.”

I turn my grin to Alex and laugh. “I'm so excited. Aren't you? We've been preparing for this for a month now.”

He shrugs and sits down beside me. “Yeah. I guess.” I look closer at his face and notice the mark on his chin is swollen .

“What's wrong?” I ask, leaning closer and reaching a hand out to touch his chin. He smacks it away, and I jerk my hand back with embarrassment. “I'm sorry, I don't know why I just…”

“It's fine.”

“Okay…” I look away, embarrassed.

Alex pulls his backpack to his chest and unzips it quickly, pulling out two insulated mugs with the lids closed. I don't like the silent treatment he's giving me, so I speak up.

“Please tell me what's wrong so I can help make it better.”

He smiles, the barest tig of his lips upward. “Family shit.” He hands me one mug, and I take it gently before he lays on his back, one arm going behind his head.

“I don't understand.”

“You don't need to.”

“But I want to help—”

“Look up, Noel.”

I tilt my head up as a shower of meteorites lights up the sky.

They appear near the constellation Leo, shooting at a crazy speed—forty four miles per second to be exact. I lay on my back like Alex is so I can take it all in. They're colorful and stunning explosions of light.

The moment is so beautiful and peaceful that I reach out without thinking.

My fingers graze over Alex's hand that's laid out beside me. It's the barest brush of my fingertips over soft knuckles. I can feel his eyes on me like a wood fire, burning away the cold that's making me shiver. He doesn't move his hand away like I assume he will, but keeps it there still.

I'm too scared to move, so I stay like that, waiting for him to say something. His fingers twitch, and I completely freeze up when he covers my hand with his own, intertwining our fingers and squeezing it into a fist as we connect like a magnet locking together. It doesn't feel weird at all. It feels like stepping into my home after a long day at school. A calming breath of relief that I can be myself, safe and happy. But then my anxiety gets the best of me. I inhale sharply, the meteor overhead still bright and perfect, but my body is shivering.

My entire face heats up, and I break out in a cold sweat.

We're holding hands, and nothing could go wrong with his clenched fist in mine. I turn my eyes from the sky to his face to find that he's watching me. A vulnerability in his expression I'm not used to seeing from him. He has furrowed brows, tight lips, and a locked jaw. His shiny blue eyes are puffy and wet. Glimmering in the light from the lantern, I can see they're swollen and red. Teardrops bead at his eyelashes the more I stare.

“Alex…” I whisper softly. “Are you crying?” He blinks and a fat teardrop falls down the side of his cheek, hitting my blanket. “It's okay, Alex. Whatever it is. I'm here.”

His hand squeezes mine, but I don't think he realizes he's doing it.

“You're so annoying, you know that, Noel?” He huffs a laugh.

“I-I only want to be here for you.” A soft breeze makes me pull my jacket tighter to my body. Alex wipes at his face with his shirt, trying to hide the fact he's crying.

“Yeah. I know you do,” he says and doesn't let my hand go. My heart has never felt so full before. I listen to his sniffles until it stops and he's breathing normally again. In and out, calm and relaxed. It feels like an eternity before we speak again.

“I like this,” I whisper into the silence.

“Like what?” Alex questions, voice rough and gravelly from holding back tears.

“Us. Tonight. Everything about this moment. Well, except that you're crying.”

“I'm not fucking crying.”

“Okay…” I start carefully, choosing my words with his ego in mind. “You're not crying. There's something in your eye.”

He snorts and I smile. “You're missing the shower.” Alex grabs the bag of peanut butter bites and lets my hand go so he can rip open the snack.

I'm a little disappointed when his hand leaves mine, but ignore it so I can focus on the sky. I push myself up and over to kneel by the telescope, lining up to the area where the shower is, and adjusting my eye to the scope's lens. This helps me see it all in incredible detail. An excited laugh escapes me as I take in the bright, radiant storm; it shoots by in the blink of an eye.

Moving back, still on my knees, I bump into Alex who's right behind me. “You really love this,” he says, sounding almost incredulous.

“Of course. You don't?” I turn to look at him.

“No, it's not that. It's nice you have something you love. Something you're passionate about.” Alex reaches into his pocket and pulls out a black beanie, shoving it over his head. Some of his blond hair pokes out over his eyes. “I wish I had that.”

“What do you mean? You do have something like that.”

“What?”

I cock my head and give him a disbelieving look. “Your drawings.”

“I—” He stops and shakes his head.

“Not only is it something you love to do, you're so good at it. The best I've seen. I love the constellation you drew on your arm.” I reach out and tentatively reach my fingers out to graze his arm that's clothed by his puffy jacket. I'm not sure why I do it, but it's so natural to want to comfort him. I don't linger though.

“You remember that?”

I nod. “All of them were amazing.”

He scoffs. “My parents don't think so.” I wait for him to elaborate, moving aside so he can look through the telescope. The meteors aren't present at the moment, though. “They think it's a waste of time,” he continues. “That they're doodles and not good enough to be a hobby.”

"Well, they're wrong. You know that, right?”

He shrugs. “Doesn't matter.”

“If it makes you happy, it matters.”

He gives me an odd look, cocking his head to the side before he sighs. “You sound like a fortune cookie.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“If you like fortune cookies, sure.” We make eye contact, and I can barely tolerate it when he stares at me like this. It's so overwhelming. I hate that I get fidgety and uncomfortable by the very simple act of our eyes meeting, so I pick up the mug he brought and open the lid to drink whatever it is he brought.

“It's hot cocoa.”

I sip at the warm chocolatey goodness and hum. “Thanks, Alex.”

“Yeah. Um. Thanks for the peanut butter bites.”

My cheeks heat up, and I don't know if it's from the cocoa or something else.

When my eyes shift back to look at him, I can see a faint pink hue in his cheeks. “We should finish our project,” he blurts out, and I nod.

“Okay.”

It gets colder the longer we take notes while on our backs, knees up so we can still write our report. We continue to stare up at the twinkling stars, happy and content. At least I know I am.

Time passes, and we should really be wrapping this up, but I'm too content to just be in the moment with him.

“Oh!” I say, making Alex jolt beside me. “We didn't make wishes! Quick, before the night is over!” I shove him in the shoulder, and he turns, giving me a slow grin.

“I made my wish already. When the shower started.”

“You did? I forgot to!”

“Do it now then.”

“I'm not sure what to wish for, though…”

He chuckles and flicks my nose. “Seriously, it's a wish, and you can't think of something? What do you want more than anything?”

I squint as I think it over. “For my mom to not have to worry about bills.”

Alex frowns. “Do you need money?”

I shrug. “It would be nice to have more of it.”

“ No, I mean, do you need money for food or your electricity or something? I can help—”

“Oh.” I swallow, a sinking feeling making my gut twist up in embarrassment. “No, Alex. I only want her to not have to worry about money. It's just a wish.”

“What do you mean, no? I have money. I mean, my parents do, but I get money from them all the time. I can give you some. Wish granted.”

I blink, the shock of Alex's kindness yet again making itself known.

No one else can compare to this boy. Not one person is as strong, kind, or smart as Alex. He's the best person I know. My best friend.

I want him to be with me forever, the two of us against the world!

“That's really kind of you, Alex. But no thank you. Anyway, I'm changing my wish.”

His pale eyebrows scrunch together. “What?”

I grin. “I wish… we could do this forever.”

He scoffs. “Lay out in the freezing cold?”

I shake my head even though we're both looking up. “No. I want to be together. Just like this, under the stars.”

He's silent beside me for a few seconds until his shoulder bumps against mine. “We can do this again. It's not so bad.”

“Yeah?” My smile grows, showing off my teeth.

“I kind of like it. Although it would suck way less doing this in the summer so we aren't freezing our dicks off.”

“It… it is quite cold,” I agree, huddling deeper into my jacket.

“Should we get going?”

“Yeah, it is late. Do you want to stay over at my house? It's a short walk. Just a few houses down that way,” I point off to the left of the field. “My mom would love to meet you.”

There's a flicker of indecisiveness, like he's unsure of saying no straight away. “I got to get home. Thanks though. I'll see you at school tomorrow?” He sits up, puts his folder in the backpack, and swings the bag over his shoulder before standing up, holding out his hand for me to take.

My sweaty palm cups his as he helps me up.

“Are you walking home?”

“Yeah.”

My eyes dart to the road and the sheer blackness of the surrounding area. “How far is it from here?”

“I'll be fine, Noel. I've got my big boy pants on.” He pulls out a flashlight and flicks it on, shining it at my face for a second and I whip my head to the side, momentarily blinded.

“If you say so. Just... please be safe.”

“Yeah, you too.”

We part ways, and I can’t help but watch him walk off, wishing he’d just come home with me.

The next day, he doesn't show up to class.

And the next day.

And the next.

Three days pass.

Our teacher announces it on Monday after a long, miserable weekend.

Alex has moved away.

Something inside me shatters, the sudden stinging pain of it like shards of glass stabbing my chest, my stomach, my everything. Hot, blinding tears blur my vision until I blink and they fall down my cheeks like rainwater from a torrential downpour, drenching my shirt.

I excuse myself from class, my feet taking me out of that room. I make my way somehow to the students’ bathroom and sob, crying for what feels like forever.

I'll never see him again.

My Alex is gone.