Page 20

ALEX

My hand has a mind of its own as I shove it into Noel's pants.

It's over his underwear at least.

The fabric is wet from his tip leaking through, causing a sticky circle.

“I thought we agreed to just kissing.” I playfully nip at his jaw, pressing down on his cock.

“Maybe—” he whines so sweetly, giving in to the pleasure without thought. “—maybe a little more than kissing?”

I groan, frustrated. “I can't trust you when you're like this. I don't know yet if you'll scream or not when I deep throat your cock,” I whisper in his ear before biting it.

“Oh, so not fair…” He pouts.

“Do you think you can keep quiet while I kiss you?”

He nods excessively.

“Good boy,” I tell him with a smirk.

He huffs a laugh and draws me into a passionate kiss, but he pulls away, as if he needs to say something. “Hey Alex?” He whispers, looking nervous and embarrassed.

I lick at his jaw, kissing my way down his throat and neck. “Hmm?”

He whimpers when I use my teeth to gently bite into his skin, sucking at the flesh, wanting him to wear my marks. “You don't have to call me that. I-I like it when you're mean.” He moans, throwing his head back as I suck another hickey on his neck.

I pause, pulling back.

“You little fuckin’ freak,” I insult him, taken aback by his surprising kink and that he just told me he would rather I not praise him. What the hell? I laugh at his deep blush. “Okay, I get it now. It makes sense.”

“W-what does?”

“You get praised for being a good boy all the time from your mom. You don't crave love because you've always had it. You want to be bad for a change.” I'm checking an imaginary list in my head under Noel's not-so-surprising Kinks.

He shakes his head, like I didn't just read his mind. “Or maybe I like how you talk to me. I want you . Keep calling me names and don't stop being mean . I like it. It feels so good, Alex,” he pants.

“Shit …” My erection flexes in my pants, leaking from the slit already.

“And I'll tell you when you're a good boy, because I know you, too,” he continues, “You're the one who likes praise. And I want to admire you and tell you just how special you are. I want to lov—” I shove my hand over his mouth.

“ Stop ,” I hiss. He stares up at me, hazy eyes big and full of that emotion I can't say… Fuck him for almost saying it. “Just… maybe we should chill out. We're going too fast, and you haven't ever done any of this before.”

His lashes flutter, eyebrows pulling together in a pleading look as he blinks at me before nodding slowly.

I remove my hand, and he sighs. “I'm sorry…I ruined the mood, didn't I?”

I exhale harshly; I'm not upset at him, I'm just feeling too much. “You don't have to be sorry, Noel. I just… I just got you back and I want to… I don't know.” I shake my head, not knowing what I want to say. “Take it slow? Appreciate you? Fuck, I just don't want to move too fast and mess something up.”

His lips twitch. “I know how you feel. I'm so excited to have you back that maybe we are rushing things because of all the feelings… you were my best friend, you know? And I like you…” His hand gently strokes my left cheek. I close my eyes for a moment to enjoy his affection.

I can feel the rush of heat to the tips of my ears. “Okay. Kissing only. At least for a while, okay? We'll take this slow.”

He giggles, the sound carefree and sweet. “Kissing only.”

We kiss modestly for the next thirty minutes or so, until our lips grow dry and chapped, too tired to continue on. After getting as close as possible to one another and breathing in each other's air, we eventually fall asleep.

NOEL

There’s a knee digging into my back. I’m still half asleep when I shove my elbow back to nudge it away, mumbling into my pillow grumpily.

Someone shifts behind me, moving around and inserting a leg between mine, strong arms wrapping around my stomach in a tight embrace.

The night comes back to me quickly. Jerking around to face the boy I’ve been obsessed with since we were kids. Alex is snug in my bed, still sleeping soundly. I use this uninterrupted moment to watch him, a softness I’m not accustomed to seeing from him. I admire every single detail of him, from his matching arched eyebrows to his closed, pale blond eyelashes that nearly seem white. He's so pretty . His hair is sticking up—a disheveled crazy mess that I want to run my hand through. He has a sharp, refined jaw—something angular and lovely to trace my fingers over.

His lips are shut, pouty, and a little dry. Snuggling closer, I get right in his face and palm his cheek, rubbing a thumb under his eye.

I close in on his mouth, placing a soft, gentle morning kiss on those dry lips. It's a slow peck that’s still shy and inexperienced, but I’m learning.

Alex likes my kisses regardless. He stirs, breathing in sharply, and I kiss him again. When I do, he smiles against my lips, teeth nipping at my bottom lip as I pull away.

“Ouch.” I giggle and swat at his face as he laughs deeply. “Merry Christmas,” I greet him cheerily.

Cracking both eyes open, he gives me the most adorable little grin that I reciprocate fondly before they close again.

“You too, doe eyes. You look so cute in the morning,” he tells me in a deep, gravelly voice, clearly still half asleep and oblivious to what he's saying.

“What do you think is the cutest thing about me?” I ask with a wide grin, taking advantage of his sleepy state.

“Mmmm those large, round eyes. They're so pretty.”

“Yeah?” I place a hand on his chest and push, sending him sprawling on his back while I straddle his stomach. His eyes open to slits, staring up at me as he finally wakes up. I palm his cheeks, lean over, and kiss the tip of his nose. “I want to wake up every morning like this if it means you telling me all the cute things you like about me.”

He glances at my mouth. “I’ll do more than that.” Behind me, I can feel something hard, right under my ass.

“Kissing only, remember?” I remind him.

One side of his mouth lifts up. “That's right.”

“Ready to get up? I can smell coffee brewing.” We both take a second to inhale the aroma that's seeping under the doors since my room is so close to the kitchen. The tune of Santa Clause is coming to town is drifting from the hall.

“You guys are so cute,” he coos, teasing me with a flick to my nose.

“Ouch! Hey you dick—”

Knock knock . “Merry Christmas, boys! It's time to get up!” My mother yells behind the door.

“We're up! Give us a second, Mom.”

ALEX

I snort as he pushes me and rolls off the bed, shoving a hoodie over his head (thankfully covering up his blotchy red neck with two very noticeable hickeys), and my eyes flicker from one hard nipple to the next, admiring his toned abs and pretty flushed skin before pulling it down his naked chest.

“C'mon,” he groans impatiently, tapping my leg. He grabs some joggers laying on the floor and pulls them on.

And I want to get up, but I'm feeling nervous again about intruding on their Christmas. Like I'm some charity case that they pity. Ugh. I can't help but feel vulnerable. It's embarrassing. I'm literally only here because I'm unwanted by my own parents. I'm a neglected teenager whose family doesn't love him, which is why I'm here, at Noel's home, being offered this beautiful, loving atmosphere with a real family. Complete with a twinkling tree, the experience of stringing popcorn, and watching movies—all part of his traditions that I'm basically imposing on.

I get choked up, like I could start crying any second. My eyes burn and my throat hurts from holding back a sob. Fuck, I can't mess this up by being ungrateful. Suck it up, asshole. Be happy for once.

I close my eyes and breathe deeply.

“Alex? Hey, what's wrong?”

I open my eyes, and Noel is right there, with his hand hovering over my cheek, like he thought about touching me but held back.

Fuck, is he scared of my reaction? Or is he scared of rejection? That he doesn't know if I'll hate the affection when he sees me like this, like I am right now. Vulnerable. Afraid.

I reach out to take his hand, and put it on my cheek. He sighs, his thumb caressing under my eye softly. “I want you here,” he whispers delicately, full of a deeper meaning as he reads my thoughts. I suppress the whimper that wants to escape from my chest and hold back the hot tears that want to fall. “It's okay. You're my family now, Alex. Would you… would you like that?” Pausing, he bites at his lower lip. “To be mine?” He's timid, a little nervous about what my answer will be. Knowing exactly what I need, he strokes my cheek reverently, placing a kiss on my forehead as gently as possible.

I nod once, too afraid to speak words. Afraid of what truths might come out of my mouth.

He smiles in his gentle, sweet way, his tongue peeking behind his teeth adorably. “Good. Let's drink our coffee and open gifts together. I got you something kind of lame, but I hope you like it.” He shrugs, a tinge of pink blooming across his cheeks.

“I'm sure I'll like it, doe eyes.”

“It's silly, and I didn't have a lot of money to afford something really nice like I wanted to get you—”

Grabbing his face, I kiss his lips to shut him up.

“Whatever it is, I'll like it.” I never received presents, so it's not like he could get me a bad gift. I have access to loads of money and can buy whatever the fuck I want, but has that ever made me happy? I would gladly give it all up if it gave me what I really wanted. If only… if only my parents weren't the way they are.

“C'mon boys! Coffee is getting cold!” His mom yells through the door, and we both smile.

I get up quickly, pulling my hoodie on and then my sweats. He opens his door after making sure I'm presentable, and we're greeted with two cups of coffee in his mom's hands.

"Well, good morning, you two!” She smiles at us cheerily.

“Hey, Mom, sorry about that.” He grabs a cup from her hand, and I take the other with a nod of thanks. Noel hugs her tightly. “Merry Christmas,” he whispers, placing a kiss on her cheek. When he pulls away, she looks over at me and raises a brow, a clear invitation to give her a hug too.

I do so, hesitantly, but when she wraps her arms around my neck and pulls me in tight, I sigh heavily and close my eyes at the feeling of being held by a mother…

It's warm. Comforting in the best way.

I pull away first.

“Hungry? I've got cinnamon buns!”

Noel hums. “And then we should watch It's A Wonderful Life.”

“Is that the one you picked, Alex?”

“I haven't seen any of them, so it doesn't matter which one we watch.”

“Oh my.” She tucks a strand of hair behind an ear, uncomfortable with my lack of holiday traditions. “None? Well, we'll have to start with that for sure.”

“C'mon, presents first, then movies.” Noel grabs my hand, shoves a glazed roll in his mouth, and leads me to the living area where Christmas lights are flashing red and green. The tiny tree in the corner is modest, but it's perfect.

Everything is perfect.