Page 54 of Cueball & Double-Z (Alpha’s Rejects #5)

Four Months Later

It’d been a year since I’d reunited with my parents. I spent more and more time with them as we got reacquainted with ourselves. It didn’t take us long to fall back into a family again, an extended family since Gio and Cole were permanently in my life.

My parents quickly fell in love with them.

It’d been a little awkward for a while. It wasn’t a typical dynamic that my parents were used to, but it was hard not to love Gio and Cole, especially after they learned all that they’d done for me and helped me move past Shane and my grief.

Not moved on, but rather accepted, as Cole liked to say.

My mother doted on them so much that I started to wonder if she loved them more.

Gio was a bit put off by it at first, not used to that sort of care.

Cole ate it up, of course. My parents were doing their best to speak to him in his own language, but it was harder for them since they were older.

Cole never cared. He had his phone wherever he went and spoke to my parents easily.

Despite him telling us he loved us that one time and speaking here and there throughout the past year, Gio and I never pushed him to speak like we did.

He was happy, and we could talk to him, so why did it matter?

It didn’t. If he were ready to talk, it would be on his own terms. If he never spoke again, that would also be on his terms.

They’d both grown so much, and not because they were a year older. Because Gio was thriving as a restaurant manager. He made decent money, and he no longer felt helpless and useless. His confidence had truly spiked, and it looked good on him. No, it made him stunning, inside and out.

Cole was also thriving. He was attending the University of Maryland, like he’d always wanted.

He was so damn smart, making straight A’s.

He absolutely loved it. Even better, he found a group on campus that consisted of individuals who were either deaf or mute, but they all spoke in either American Sign Language or S.E.E.

, so he was surrounded by friends who related to him.

They’d been a little weirded out by him having two partners, but they quickly got over it, just like my parents had. I got it. It was an unusual relationship, and sometimes people got weird over such things, but they adored him.

And what wasn’t to adore? Cole started it all. He was the one who set me on my current path. Had he not found that picture and pushed me, my life would’ve been trapped in self-hatred and pain.

We were all in therapy together. Cole wanted all of us to go as one family. Honestly, it’d been brilliant. We communicated even better than before because of it. There were no secrets between us. No hiding feelings. Everything was out in the open. All our love. All our fears. All our pain.

But not all was perfect.

There was still Hugo to contend with—my brother.

He’d recently gotten married to a woman I didn’t know because he didn’t invite me. I couldn’t blame him. If he’d abandoned me as I abandoned him, I would’ve been angry, too. All I knew was that her name was Lydia because my parents told me. And she was also a doctor, an ophthalmologist.

I’d tried several times to reunite with him, but he’d refused. What I hadn’t done was corner him because I was trying to give him space, but that clearly hadn’t worked. So, the plan was to face him. Gio, Cole, and I agreed I should go alone.

I stood outside his house in Fells Point in the rain in front of the black painted wood door, surrounded by the red brick of the old townhome. Then, I lifted the brass doorknocker and rapped on the door several times before dropping it and shoving my shaking hands into my pockets.

My stomach flipped nervously, and I was a little nauseous. Hugo could turn me away, and I’d just have to accept that, but it wouldn’t stop me from reaching out. Maybe one day he’d do what I did and come back.

A dog barked behind the door, and soon a pretty woman answered. She appeared to be in her early forties, with long, straight black hair falling down her shoulders. Her eyes were a pretty hazel green.

She looked at me strangely before recognition hit her eyes.

“Marco,” she breathed.

“Hello. I presume you’re Lydia?”

“Yes,” she sighed. “Hugo is not going to be happy.”

I also sighed and nodded. “I know, but I have to try.”

“I keep trying to gently push him toward reuniting with you, but he’s… stubborn.”

I smiled and chuckled. “I appreciate that. We’re both damn stubborn.”

She scanned me again and shook her head. “It’s uncanny how much you both look alike. If I didn’t know Hugo was older, I’d say you were twins.” Her eyes twinkled as she smiled. “Minus the hair, of course.”

I instantly liked her. If Hugo let me into his life again, I looked forward to having a sister. “Can I come in?”

“He’s going to be so angry with me, but you two getting along again is more important than my dignity.”

Lydia stepped aside, and I was greeted by a chocolate lab, wagging its tail and licking my hand, which I offered in greeting.

“This is Lola. ”

I squatted and gave her a pet on her chest and head. “Hello, Lola.”

“Honey, who’s here?” said a deep voice coming from upstairs. A voice that I hadn’t heard in years. A voice that sounded similar to mine.

Lydia looked at me and winced. “Ready for this?”

I nodded. “I’ve been ready.”

As Lydia shut the front door behind her, Hugo came bounding down the stairs, unaware of my presence until he stopped. He looked confused for a moment before he scowled.

He looked the same as he always had, but just a little older now that he was forty. And there were a few grays sprinkled in his dark brown hair, which he kept neatly cropped. He looked comfortable in a white tank top that fit snugly over his toned form, along with a pair of running shorts.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Then he pointed at his new wife, the betrayal clear in his amber eyes that matched mine. “You and I are going to have words.”

She folded her arms and jutted her chin.

“We will not. We will talk , but I will not be talked down to.” Yeah, I definitely liked her.

She didn’t put up with shit, even the stubborn Maldonado brothers.

“Marco is who you need to talk to. He’s been trying to reach out to you.

It’s time for you two to make amends. Enough is enough.

I’m still not happy you denied him an invitation to our wedding. ”

Hugo huffed at her and folded his arms. “He denied his family. Not the other way around.”

I raised my hand before an argument started between them. “Please. I am not here to cause a rift between the two of you. If anyone is to blame for all of this, it’s me. All I want to do is talk. That’s it. If you still never want to see me again after that, I’ll have to respect your wishes.”

“Well, I don’t,” Lydia said. “I would like to get to know you, Marco.”

With that, she turned on her heel and walked upstairs with Lola following behind her, leaving Hugo and me in sudden awkwardness. Then he grumbled and walked off down the hallway toward the back of the house and the kitchen, I presumed.

“Come on then. Say your piece, then leave. ”

I winced at his words, but I deserved his anger. I’d been lucky that my parents had forgiven me quickly, but I’d always known it wouldn’t be as easy with my brother.

When we reached the kitchen, he waved his hand at the table. “Sit.”

I pulled out a chair and sat at the table as he sat stiffly across from me, leaning away, with one arm on the table. “Out with it.”

“I’m so sorry I left without a word, Hugo.”

“Cool. Accepted.”

He abruptly stood, and that was when I finally lost my patience. “Sit down. You know damn well I’m not finished. Just stop acting like a fucking child. You’re a grown-ass man and a cardiologist, but you’re behaving like you’re a twelve-year-old.”

He sat without a word and stared out the kitchen window to a lush, bricked courtyard filled with trees and flowers.

“I know you’re angry with me. Obviously. But I wasn’t in a good place, Hugo. You know that. I was grieving and—”

He snapped his attention back to me, his eyes glaring daggers.

“And what about your family? We grieved. We grieved for Shane, too, and we had no idea if you were alive or dead. You had three years of grieving before you vanished. I mean, I get it. You hurt, but for fuck’s sake… To abandon us after all that time?”

“You’re right. But I was more than grieving. I can’t say whether my reaction was rational. All I knew, and you didn’t, was that I blamed myself for Shane’s death.”

His brows furrowed, softening a bit before he turned angry again. “Then why didn’t you say anything? You had training in this! Why not seek help?”

“Because I didn’t trust the practice any longer.

If I failed him, if I didn’t see his suicide coming after all my training and education, how could another doctor help me?

I didn’t say it was rational. I was buried in guilt, self-loathing, and…

You and our parents also never knew what I found.

All you knew was that he’d committed suicide by cutting his wrists.

You have no idea of what it was really like…

all that fucking blood. There was no surviving that. He made sure of it.”

My eyes watered as I gazed outside, watching the butterflies flutter around the purple coneflowers.

Hugo said nothing, letting me gather my thoughts and rein in my emotions.

“I was running from that. From his blood. From his corpse. From my failures. I was fucking drowning in it. Then I started to compartmentalize and bury shit. That was when I felt a reprieve. I could finally breathe. So I ran. I chased that sensation. Eventually, I shut everyone out to keep breathing. Everyone who reminded me of all I suffered and how much I hated myself, I put far behind me. It was never about you or Mom or Dad or the friends I ditched.”

Some tears spilled, but it wasn’t as bad as when I told Gio and Cole for the first time.

We sat in silence for a while, processing our thoughts. I had no idea what was going through my brother’s head, but at least he hadn’t kicked me out yet. That was a start. Perhaps he was really thinking about things, listening.

“We were close,” he whispered. “You used to tell me everything.”

“I know…”

“You running and never reaching out, stressing out Mom and Dad… You didn’t tell me any of this. It fucking hurts, you know?”

“I know. I’m so fucking sorry.”

He side-eyed me and stood, grabbing some tissues sitting on the counter and handing me the box. I took a couple of sheets and blew my nose.

“Mom said the two young men you’re seeing are the reason you finally came home.”

I smiled, feeling the warmth of love spread through me.

“Yeah. Gio and Cole. They hadn’t meant to, but they forced me to face my pain.

For the first time in years, I had hope.

Hope of coming out of the shadow of grief and self-blame…

out of the loneliness. They gave me hope that I could find love and happiness again.

The only way to do that was to face all my suffering and all that I’d done to others. ”

Hugo huffed a humorless laugh. “I suppose I should thank them, then.”

I looked up at my brother, seeing for the first time since I had shown up at his door, him not quite angry, with a softening of his features. Yes, he was still angry, but he was starting to understand.

“Yeah, Mom dotes on them for it. ”

He cracked a crooked smile. “Yeah, she’s said as much. She makes me listen to stories about you, about how you’ve been coming around a lot with your partners. It’s strange, man. Not gonna lie.”

I shrugged. “I love them. They saved me as much as I saved them.”

Hugo stood and pushed the chair under the table. “Lydia and I have plans tonight, and I need to get ready.”

I stood with him, shoving my hands into the pockets of my jeans. I stared at my feet, nodding, unsure of what else to say. And I wasn’t sure if I was forgiven. Maybe I never would be.

“We can talk more later.”

I looked up, unable to hide my surprise. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I can’t make promises, Marco, but… I’ll try.”

“That’s all I ask.”

There were no hugs and long goodbyes as I walked out the door and back home to my men. My partners. My life. My beautiful. My sweetness. My Zero. My Zilch. My future.