Page 29 of Cueball & Double-Z (Alpha’s Rejects #5)

While the coffee brewed, I picked up the phone I’d given them and opened it.

It had no pin or biometrics set up to open it.

There wasn’t much on it—a couple of apps, a game, and some photos.

I scrolled through the images and instantly stopped at one of Gio, stopping my heart along with it.

I’d seen him smile more with time as the weeks went on.

Sometimes he’d smile just for Cole. However, that image of him was stunning, reflecting a purity that was rarely seen in him.

There was a softness erasing all that hardness.

His gray-blue eyes were bright and almost shy as he looked into the camera.

A strand of dark brown hair with hints of auburn reflected the sun coming in through their bedroom window, spilling onto his face.

Gio was… beautiful. A reflection of the young man he used to be before tragedy hit, along with fate taking a shit on his life.

Their lives. Many would’ve hated Cole for what had happened and blamed him.

People demanded answers, and the living were the ones who took the brunt of their grief.

Instead, Gio protected Cole. Loved him. It was a testament to his character.

A character he kept close to the cuff. He was certainly rough around the edges, but that didn’t make him a bad person, and he was a damn marshmallow for Cole.

I moved on and looked at the other pictures.

There weren’t many. A few. Several. Cole was next.

His long bangs falling over thick, dark brows.

They stood out against the lightness of his hair.

His blue eyes were brighter, lighter… bluer.

So big and innocent, seeing the unseen. Seeing what others failed to miss so often.

Nuances of life. Despite watching his parents die a slow death and blaming himself, he was resilient.

Adaptive. I was sure he still blamed himself.

Always. But he chose to live with it instead of against it—the opposite of what I’d done.

Perhaps I could learn a thing or two from Cole.

He was Gio’s glue. Gio wouldn’t survive without him.

Or maybe he would, but he’d never be whole or happy.

He wouldn’t be living, he’d just be... existing.

I had a feeling that once I let Cole in all the way, he’d be my glue, too.

It was his empathetic nature. He was a true empath.

Empaths run the risk of becoming overwhelmed by absorbing the emotions of others.

Perhaps that was why Gio didn’t show much to Cole, reining it all in. Perhaps not.

The next photo was a selfie of the chaos brothers. Cole rested his head on Gio’s shoulder, smiling at the camera. But Gio had his nose pressed to Cole’s hair. How did Cole not see how Gio felt about him? It was clear as day to me.

I had to do whatever it took to reunite them. I may have failed Shane, but I wasn’t going to fail these two men. Not again. Or I fucking hoped. It was a risk. I didn’t quite trust myself, but I couldn’t stand by and let this separation continue.

I put the phone down and looked up when Cole came out of the bedroom, looking exhausted and yawning, his eyes swollen from all the crying he’d done.

He signed ‘morning’ and headed straight to the coffeemaker, pouring us both some.

He handed me my mug with nothing in it as he dumped half a pound of sugar and milk into his.

“How do you feel?” I asked without signing before blowing on my mug and taking a tentative sip, careful not to burn my tongue.

He just shrugged, staring at his own drink sitting on the counter. He looked fucking defeated.

Shit, this was all my fault. Had I not panicked and kicked them out, Gio would still be here. Fucking idiot. We both were.

Cole’s shoulders rose as he sighed deeply before he turned to face me, his head hung low. He stepped up to me and slid his arms around my waist, pulling me into a hug. He quickly stepped back and signed ‘thank you.’

“We’ll find him,” I said and signed at the same time.

‘I know.’

He had more confidence in me than I had in myself.

‘We should go after coffee,’ he signed.

“No. If Gio’s working, we don’t need to interrupt that and get him fired. He’s scheduled to work until five. Well, find him then.”

‘What if he’s not working?’

I smiled, trying my best to reassure him.

Reassuring smiles were awkward for me, since I rarely gave them.

“He’ll be there. I haven’t known you both long, but he’s determined.

Gio will do everything he can to better himself.

” I lifted Cole by his hips and plopped him on the counter so he wasn’t always looking up at me.

“Let’s say we can’t find him. He’ll never stay far from you.

He won’t stay out of your life forever.”

Cole looked away, chewing on his bottom lip, thinking before he looked at me and rested his hands on my shoulder. Then his hands spoke. ‘You make it sound like I’m more to him than a stepbrother.’

“Aren’t you?”

‘You know what I mean.’

I sighed and stared into his massive blue orbs, brushing away his bangs.

Fuck. Why was I suddenly so touchy? It wasn’t like me at all.

While I was touch-starved, I was always reluctant to get close.

Still, it felt… natural to do, and Cole just sat there as if I’d always done it.

“I know what you mean. What do you think about that?” He shrugged, so I opened the phone and showed him th e picture of him and Gio.

“How can you not see it? How can you not see how much he loves you?”

He stared at the picture for so long, as his eyes welled with tears again, before he shut the phone off. ‘I love him, too.’

“You should tell him that.”

‘I will, but…’

“He needs to hear those words, Cole. Especially if you want him back.”

He nodded, not taking his eyes away from me. ‘But… you’re going to think I’m weird.’

I huffed a laugh. “We’re all weird, my friend. You can tell me.”

He slapped a hand across his mouth and laughed despite the tears still spilling. He gestured as he tried to finish what he wanted to tell me. ‘I mean… I like you, too. Is that wrong?’

I had a feeling he did. No, not a feeling.

I knew he did, but this was the first time he’d been vocal about it…

well, admitted it. And for the first time, I wasn’t thrown into a world of panic and fear.

For the first time, I felt a sense of determination.

I didn’t know what was going to happen or become of us, but I’d protect Gio and Cole.

Zilch and Zero. Double-Z. The two men who were so far from nothing.

So far from nobodies. They were incredibly special.

I rested my hands on either side of his thighs on the counter, our eyes at even levels. “It’s not weird, but…” I blew out a loud breath. “Cole, I’ve been alone for a long, long time. You… scare me a little. Actually, no. You and Gio terrify me, forcing me to face things I really don’t want to.”

He rested a hand on my face, and I couldn’t help but close my eyes and lean into it… giving in to it. Then he dropped his hand and rested his fingers under my chin, forcing me to look at him before signing. ‘It’s him, isn’t it? The man in the picture.’

All I could do was nod and swallow hard.

‘You’re not alone anymore.’

My gut twisted. In fear. In hope. It wasn’t just fear of opening old wounds, but fear that I’d destroy Cole and Gio.

Look at what I’d just done. I’d fail them as I had Shane.

Fuck, I was also not used to opening up to people.

No matter how many times I’d told people to get therapy, I still refused, never ready to face what had happened to me.

But if these two beautiful souls were to stay with me, I had no choice.

I’d have to face it whether I wanted to or not.

‘Trust me,’ he said without words. He said with confident eyes that never wavered.

I promised to find Gio for him. Cole promised me there was a light at the end of my very dark tunnel.