Page 4 of Cueball & Double-Z (Alpha’s Rejects #5)

I pushed off the counter and walked off to grab myself a burger, angry at myself for snapping at him.

Then I stop in my tracks and stare at my feet.

It wasn’t his fault. He’d tried to find work, too.

Every once in a while, he’d get lucky, but since most people didn’t use sign language, they lost their patience with him when he tried to speak with his hands.

He could write, but jotting down what he wanted to say took time, not to mention his periodic social anxiety—though that had gotten a lot better.

Fuck if I knew how he remained upbeat and happy despite his trauma and anxiety.

He’d been in the car with our parents when someone hit them head-on.

Our parents didn’t die right away, either.

Cole had been in the back seat, unable to move, trapped, and watching them slowly die before help arrived.

He’d blamed himself because he’d been in the back, talking and distracting my dad while he was driving.

I never blamed him. The driver who hit them had been drunk, but Cole took the brunt of the blame onto himself.

Because of it, he hadn’t spoken a word since.

He’d gone out of his way to learn sign language because he either refused to talk aloud or he physically couldn’t, psychologically.

I knew it was from trauma, but other than not talking, he seemed okay.

But what the fuck did I know? I couldn’t even keep a job or keep us sheltered.

What he needed was fucking therapy, and I couldn’t even give him that.

Hell, I needed therapy for myself, never really getting the chance to grieve as I took care of Cole’s mental breakdown.

I’d been taking care of him ever since, making sure he stayed happy and healthy, since we had no one else but each other.

Our other parents, my mom and his dad, had abandoned us and were nowhere to be found, not that we looked all that hard. Fuck ’em.

“Sorry,” I breathed.

He made a raspy noise behind me, but when I didn’t turn around, he rested his hand on my shoulder.

I closed my eyes. Every time he touched me, I felt his electric current.

It made me fucking needy, but I pushed those urges deep down inside me.

He’d never known how I felt, and it would stay that way.

It didn’t matter that he was gay, and I was pansexual.

My one and only job was to make sure he was safe, and even that I was fucking failing at.

I moved toward the couch, grabbed a burger from the bag, unwrapped it, and took a large bite, which was now cold, as I sank onto the couch. “The weather’s shit out there,” I said around a bite. “But I’ll look for work anyway. We need to find something fast.”

Cole sat next to me, crossing his legs on the cushion as he took a handful of fries before shoving them into his mouth. As he chewed, he signed, ‘You can do it. ’

“We’re gonna have to live in the car soon, Cole. We’ll need money to maintain it and keep it runnin’ for heat through the winter. Otherwise, we’re fucked.”

My stomach knotted at the idea of living in my piece-of-shit car.

My mind was filled with chaos. Filled with worry and a sense of failure and worthlessness.

It’d be boring, too. No TV. No phones that everyone else seemed to have, but we didn’t.

I tried to live frugally. We would just have a few books and each other.

And I had a stepbrother who couldn’t even talk to me.

He tapped my shoulder, and I glanced at him, taking another bite of my dinner.

‘I’ll look too,’ he said with his rapidly moving fingers.

I didn’t stop Cole from trying, so I just nodded. “Sounds good.”

After our showers, we lay in the bed we had to share, trying to sleep.

Well, Cole was sleeping, snuggled into my side, fingers twirling through my hair as he slept, like he gravitated toward me.

It was wishful thinking. The hair twirling was something he’d picked up after the car accident, like a security blanket.

I’d grown my hair out to below my ears so that he could keep finding his comfort as he slept. At least his nightmares happened less.

I secretly wished Cole would never leave my side. He belonged next to me like that. It took every inch of willpower not to roll over and pull him against me, though we woke up like that a lot, with tangled limbs.

Life had been fucking lonely, even living with Cole, but there was nothing I could do. One day, when I got my shit together, I’d go out and find someone for myself.

I had thirty-three dollars and some change to my name. What the fuck were we going to do? Maybe I could trade in my car for an old van, and we could fix that up and live out of it. Though I wasn’t sure how much I could get for my old 2007 Honda CR-V . Probably not much.

Even thoughts of selling myself filtered through my very short list of things I could do to make quick cash. But I dismissed it. Cole would be upset with me. Not that he was against sex work, but he would never want me to do that for him.

After worrying for another hour, I finally fell into a fitful sleep.

The late morning was cloudy, but at least it’d stopped snowing. There were only about three inches on the ground, and most of it had melted on the streets already.

My shoes crunched underneath the salt-covered sidewalk, my shoulders hunched from the cold, and my hands shoved into my jacket as I made my way toward a row of restaurants.

I had no phone, so I couldn’t see who was hiring or not.

Sometimes they made me fill out an online application, so I’d have to head to the library to use one of their computers.

Every once in a while, I got lucky, and they’d just hire me on the spot if I were ready to work.

Shoving away my suffocating insecurities that had plagued me for the past three years, I stepped into Luigi’s Pizza & Wing Factory, the garlic and wing sauce hitting my nose, making my mouth water. I hadn’t eaten since early last night.

A man who looked to be in his thirties, with light brown hair and a short beard, was behind the small bar, wiping down wet glasses. I walked up to him, gave a little wave, and put on a fake smile, hoping it didn’t look like I was wincing.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey, there. What can I get you?”

“Actually, I was hoping you all were lookin’ for help. Not gonna lie, I’m kinda desperate for work. I can clean, bus, or do anything you need, even if it’s for one day. I’m fast and self-reliant, too.”

The point of my looking at this time of day was to work right on the spot before the lunch crowd came in.

“How old are you, kid?”

“Twenty-two.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “Do you have an ID and social security on you?”

My shoulders sagged because I’d been hoping to get paid under the table. At least I had a bank account. “Yeah, I got whatcha need.”

“Okay, then. It’s your lucky day, kid. I just happened to get a call from my guy who washes dishes. He up and quit on me. The job’s yours, if you want it. ”

Fuck. Finally, some luck. I nodded vigorously. “Really? Yeah, I definitely want it.”

The man grinned, his dark brown eyes twinkling with kindness. “It pays fourteen bucks an hour. Is that okay?”

Damn, that was way more than minimum wage.

My stomach dipped in excitement. It was way more than I expected.

I nodded again, a real smile forming on my face as the crushing weight suddenly lifted…

at least a little. “Sounds really good.” The tension in my stomach soon unknotted.

While the money wouldn’t be enough to pay rent, it would at least keep Cole and me fed and keep gas in the car. I could even save a little.

“I’m Jim Abernathy. You can just call me Jim. I’m the owner here. You have a name?”

“Gio Segreto.”

“Oh, an Italian?”

I blew out a laugh. “Well, just in name only. Can’t speak a lick of it.”

He chuckled in return. “Tell me, Gio, what happened to your last job?”

I shoved my gloved hands into my jeans pockets and stared at my feet. “Yeah, I, ah, got fired. But I swear, I tried so hard. Really.”

His facial expression grew sober. God, please don’t change your mind. Please . “What’d you get fired for?”

“I was late a few times… more than a few times. My car isn’t exactly reliable.

Sometimes I had to take my brother to work.

But I don’t live too far from here, so there shouldn’t be a problem with my being on time and all.

I swear I’ll do whatever I can to get here on time.

I don’t have a phone or nothin’, so I can’t call. ”

I could have gotten a phone that didn’t require the internet to connect, but that would have been more money. I had to scrimp and save every dime. Maybe I could get one now, though. Well, after I got paid.

Jim folded his thick arms over his broad chest, then nodded. “Okay, Gio. I’ll give you a chance. You can work here on a trial basis. I need reliable people. I know it’s not an exciting job, but I’m fair.”

“Yeah, definitely. I’ll be on time and work my butt off.”

He broke into a smile and nodded his head toward the back of the restaurant.

“Let’s get your paperwork filled out and get you ready for work.

You can shove your backpack into an available locker in the lounge.

And you can steal a slice of pizza on your break.

Lunch around here can be busy as hell, so I need you on your toes, keeping those dishes clean and cycling through the meals. I’m counting on you, Gio.”

“You got it!”

Finally, some good news.