Page 31 of Cueball & Double-Z (Alpha’s Rejects #5)

He licked his lips for a second, and my eyes pinged straight to them.

Full lips. Fuller than mine. I’d never wanted another man like I wanted Cole, let alone kiss them.

But then we met Marco. Not only was he attractive, but he was kind and patient…

until he wasn’t. But before the disaster that was last night, I’d started having feelings for him, imagining a relationship with two men.

It’d only been a ridiculous fantasy. Fleeting.

Not enough to dwell on. I always tried to push away those feelings because it hurt to be lonely.

Now I wondered if it really was so far out of reach.

Still, I hadn’t expected to just grab his smooth face, ne ver taking my eyes off his mouth.

Or to pull him down closer to me, and that he’d let me.

Or to press my lips to his soft ones. Or to kiss him.

It happened so fast, he couldn’t react right away.

Hell, my brain was still processing what the hell I was doing.

And then he kissed me back. He actually kissed me back.

Marco pulled me more against him, his broad chest solid. I hadn’t let go of his face when he wrapped his arms around me tighter and deepened the kiss. Soon, he took over, swiping his tongue across my lips. I opened for him, and he consumed me. I think I even whimpered.

But then he placed his hands on my shoulder and eased me off him, leaving me gasping.

That was when the guilt and shame came crashing down on me.

It was so fucking heavy. Not that I hadn’t wanted to kiss him, but it should’ve been Cole.

Cole wanted him first. And I loved Cole.

God, I was so confused. Too many emotions were happening over the past few minutes. My brain couldn’t wrap around them all.

“Oh, god… I’m sorry,” I said, wanting to run. When I took a step back, Marco grabbed my arm and kept me in place.

“You’re fine. It’s okay. And I kissed you back,” he said. “But we need to talk, Gio. And we will.”

Before I could respond, I jumped when someone touched my shoulder.

I hadn’t expected Cole to be standing there, looking at me as if I held the moon and stars.

Did he see me kiss Marco? He must have. He didn’t seem upset, jealous, or angry.

In fact, he was smiling. Still, I took a step back as Marco dropped his arms, letting me breathe.

When I pulled away from Marco, Cole went from smiling to scowling at me as he shoved my chest hard and signed in rapid movements. ‘Fuck you for leaving me! I’m mad at you!’

The guilt slammed home again. All I could think about was my kiss with Marco. I shouldn’t have done that. It just happened, and I liked it. “I’m so sorry I kissed him, Cole.”

‘Kissed him? Fuck the kiss. No! We’re never better off separated. Ever!’

I nodded at him, unable to speak. My brain was ready to clock out—too many emotions. Too much going on. Too many questions and not enough answers .

Then his mood quickly shifted, and he smiled brightly, forcing me to do a double-take as Cole grabbed my face, sending a wave of tingling and calmness through me.

He stared at me with his eyes, the ones I always struggled not to drown in.

My stomach suddenly twisted in a tight knot when he pressed his soft lips to mine.

What was happening? Was this a dream? I had to be dreaming—a fever dream from pure exhaustion.

I was a bundle of nerves from fear because I didn’t want to have hope.

Still, along with pleasure, hope forced its way inside.

Yeah, I was a fucking wreck at the moment.

Fuck, I was so damn desperate for something good in my life. But I was wary of it, too, after facing disaster after disaster.

Despite my fear, I wrapped my trembling arms around him and kissed him back.

His hands threaded through my hair at the back of my head, tugging on it as we deepened our kiss.

Our kiss felt right. So right. Perfect, even.

Like I hadn’t just wanted him to be mine for years, but that we were fated, and the only thing that’d been holding us back was me.

Pulling away left us gasping, and I looked between Marco and Cole, still clinging to Cole with one arm.

Back and forth. Processing. Marco seemed completely unfazed, which was typical.

He was a hard man to read. Cole appeared so happy, eyes bright and smiling.

That was when I noticed Marco threading his fingers through mine. He was holding my hand.

I’d kissed two men in as many minutes, and no one was freaking out but me. I was so fucking confused. Happy? Yes? Maybe? I think I just needed sleep for a week.

“I… I don’t understand,” I whispered.

Marco rested a large hand on my cheek. “Come on, Little Thief. Let’s go home.”

“Little Thief?” I wasn’t a fan.

He shrugged and smiled crookedly. “It’s something I like to call you in my head once in a while.”

I huffed at him. “I like ‘ beautiful ’ better.”

“So do I. We have a lot to talk about, beautiful .”

“But… why?”

“We’ll talk about this at home,” he said more firmly. “This isn’t the place, and it’s cold as hell out here. ”

“Okay,” I sighed.

We all climbed into the car, and I was flooded with hundreds of questions as I drove us home.

Home .

When we arrived, Cole and Marco helped me carry my things back up to the apartment. Instead of leaving everything in my suitcases and boxes, we unpacked together. We hung up clothes, put them away into drawers, and Cole placed his several snow globes onto the windowsill.

Permanence.

Those snow globes on display represented permanence.

We were home.

Marco lifted one and inspected it before shaking it. “You collect these, Cole?”

He nodded and shrugged. ‘They’re stupid, but I like them,’ he signed.

“They’re important to you, and that’s never stupid.”

I watched them shake each globe, watching the fake snow cascade back down. Cole seemed completely at ease, and honestly, so did Marco. He’d been so angry yesterday, then so withdrawn. Even with a calm voice, he’d vibrated with frustration. Now he seemed relaxed and was smiling.

When Cole wrapped an arm around his waist and rested his head on Marco’s shoulder, I should’ve been jealous.

Angry even. But all I felt was peace, maybe because I’ve accepted my attraction toward the bigger man.

Accepted that I wanted him, too. And maybe because I finally felt safe.

On top of that, Cole was happy. That’d always been my priority.

I wasn’t as smart as Cole or Marco, but I knew I deserved happiness, too. I’d just never been sure how to get it while keeping Cole happy.

As if sensing me, Marco glanced behind him, no longer smiling, and lifted his free arm out to me.

My legs moved before I even knew what I was doing.

I slid in next to him, and he draped his heavy arm across my shoulders.

Then Cole reached his arm to me. I grabbed back as we formed a circle, just holding each other in the quiet.

My brain was still unsure of what was going on, but it was quieter.

We stood there like that, staring down at the evening and the rush of traffic as everyone made it home from work or wherever they were going .

“Let’s eat, and then we need to talk,” Marco said, pulling away from us. “I’m starving.”

‘I’ll get dinner ready,’ Cole signed, and rushed off to the kitchen.

I was about to follow Cole to help when Marco reached for my arm and tugged me back against him.

I looked up at him with renewed trust. The trust had crashed and burned the night before, but it was back now.

He seemed larger than life and someone I wanted to look up to.

Cole did. He looked up to him. I’d never had someone to look up to after Dad died.

“This is new territory for me, Gio. I had no idea you had… well, I hadn’t expected the kiss.

” Again, he ran fingers through my fallen bangs as if he couldn’t help himself.

“But I’m grateful for it.” He sighed and pulled me closer to him, resting his head on mine.

“I know you don’t know this, but Cole told me earlier today he wants us all together.

More than as roommates.” He’d definitely said nothing to me, but, strangely, the idea didn’t scare me.

It felt… right. “But if you…” he started, and then sighed as he ran a hand over his scalp, staring out the window, but not letting go of me.

“But if you, what?” I prodded.

“It’s always been you and Cole. I feel I’ll just be in the way. However, I also feel that this is inevitable in a way. Meant to be. I hadn’t been sure until you kissed me tonight, and I kissed you back. But I worry how you feel about that since you’ve always loved him.”

I hadn’t expected this sort of vulnerability from him. Maybe he was letting me see a new side of himself. That made more sense, since he was usually tighter than a rusty vise. “Are you doing this because you believe it’s inevitable or because you want to?”

Marco huffed a laugh and stared at me for so long, it made me squirm, but as I’d come to know him, I knew he needed to process words and thoughts, while I tended just to react.

He wasn’t afraid to look away. Usually. “That’s a really good question, Gio.

One that shows me you’re nearly as intuitive as Cole.

I’ve been developing feelings for both of you, but I’m…

” He sighed heavily again, but he didn’t look away.

“Honestly, I’m terrified. You’ll learn why soon enough.

But perhaps allowing you both to stay here despite those fears means I’m ready to face my fears and demons, and ready to find companionship once again.

I can’t hide from the signs any longer. Fate keeps pushing me toward you two, as well as pushing me to face my past. But I don’t want to do anything unless you’re on board, too.

” He chuckled and looked outside again, his fingers digging into my waist where he still held me.

“Cole wants this enough for the three of us.”

I folded my arms and smirked, actually liking this side of Marco. It made him feel real, if that made any sense. Relatable. “You didn’t murder anyone, did you?” I teased. “You’re afraid we’ll learn you’re a killer?”

When he didn’t smile back, I stepped away from him, but he tightened his hold on me.

“I didn’t murder anyone, Gio. You can put that to rest. I’m telling you this without Cole because I want you to trust me again.

The only way to do that is to rip my chest open and expose all of me.

But I trust you. I trust you because, in a way, you’re me and I’m you.

I relate to you both in profound but different ways. As I said, it’s terrifying.”

I took his hand in mine and looked up at him, his face so exposed. Really exposed. Raw. I knew right then I was seeing a side of him he’d never shown anyone else. I felt kind of honored. “Then Cole and I will be by your side, holding your hand through it all. You helped us. Let us help you.”

Marco squeezed my hand back, then dropped it. “Let’s go eat.”