Page 10 of Cueball & Double-Z (Alpha’s Rejects #5)
Sometimes I wish he’d just leave me for a better life. He’d have to because I wouldn’t be able to walk away from him.
Gentle fingers grazed my face, pulling emotions I didn’t want to have or explore or… shit. I wish I were a robot so that I could feel nothing. I closed my eyes, forcing myself not to lean into his touch.
When I opened my eyes, facing away from Cole, I noticed he’d turned off the car. With two hands, he tried to make me look at him, but I refused.
His grunt was loud and demanding. I wanted to scream at him to use his words.
To just fucking talk for once! Not to stress him out, but to hear his voice.
He only spoke with his hands because he was just used to it.
He’d said words to me now and then, so I knew he was physically capable of talking like there was nothing broken in his throat.
“What?” I snapped, finally turning my head to look at him, his big, blue eyes filled with concern. The scruff on his face was patchy. We both needed to shave. His long fingers held my face, then moved to tuck the hair that had fallen behind my ears.
His hands dropped to his lap, and after sitting there for a moment, looking at me, he signed, ‘It’s going to be okay.’
“Stop saying that!” I looked away again, my eyes burning with threatening tears and frustration. “Nothin’s okay. Not one fuckin’ bit of it.”
He smacked my arm with the back of his hand. When I looked at him again, he signed, ‘It’s not. But we will be.’ He pressed a hand to his heart and then to mine.
I shook my head as my lip trembled and stared down at the papers in my hand, shuffling them to the last page. It was a map and directions with an address. I glanced back at him. “What’s this?”
“Shelter. A lot of snow is coming. We need to be inside. ”
That was it, wasn’t it? The lowest of the low. A shelter for people who didn’t have homes. Who had nothing. It was my low, not theirs. I had a job, and I still couldn’t make ends meet. Still couldn’t properly take care of Cole.
Cole tapped my shoulder to get my attention. ‘It will be very cold. We can’t stay in the car. Please.’
I nodded. “Yeah, fine. Let’s go.”
‘Thank you. We need to go now.’
“Okay.”
Cole put the car into Drive and pulled out into traffic, the wipers slowly swishing back and forth as the snow melted on the windshield, coming down in clumps.
It was late, so we might not even get into the shelter. I was sure it’d be packed on a night like this.
When we arrived, there didn’t seem to be a crowd or a line, so we walked inside, greeted by a woman with blonde hair and a kind smile. “Oh, hi there. I’m sorry, but all the beds are taken for the night, and we’re already over capacity.”
My shoulders sagged, and Cole threaded our fingers together, squeezing my hand.
If I hadn’t had to work so late…
“Thanks anyway,” I said, walking off, but she stopped me by pressing a hand on my shoulder.
“You don’t have to go yet. Warm up. We have some leftover food from dinner tonight, if you want. Have a meal at least.”
I looked down at Cole, who nodded.
“Okay, thanks.”
She led us toward the dining hall. When we reached it, she told us to sit down and that someone would bring us two trays of food.
She called out to someone in the kitchen. “Could you fill up two trays of whatever we have leftover before you head out, please?”
“Sure,” said a deep voice from somewhere.
I turned to look behind me, and at the same time, Cole gasped and squealed in pleasure just as my gut sank. “What are the fucking odds?” I mumbled. I was seriously fucking cursed. Someone up there hated me .
When the bald linebacker came bounding over to us, carrying two trays, Cole waved frantically with a huge smile on his face. Why did he even like him? There was nothing to like.
Right. You’re just embarrassed still. The man did nothing to you .
“Well, hello there, Zilch,” he said with a small smile.
‘Hi, Cueball,’ he signed back.
Cole pointed at me. “This is my stepbrother, Zero.”
At least he didn’t hand out our real names.
His amber eyes twinkled in amusement. “Hello, Zero. Still angry, I see.”
“Psh… Whatever, man. Rub it in, why don’t you?” Of course, I was angry.
Cueball set two plastic trays with mixed vegetables, some casserole with chicken, two rolls each, an apple, and some bottled water.
“King Ranch chicken. It’s pretty tasty. Sorry that we’re all out of juice and rice.”
Cole signed a thank you, then inhaled his food.
“Thanks,” I mumbled.
“What’s going on? What brought you two here?”
I looked up at him, feeling like he was scrutinizing me and my fucking life choices. Judging. “You know, that’s none of your damn business.”
He ignored me, not reacting at all, and signed to Cole, ‘Did you find beds for tonight?’
Cole shook his head. ‘No, it’s full. Thanks for the food.’ I swore, not even this situation dampened Cole’s mood. He was the sunshine in my black hole of a life.
“You’re welcome,” Cueball said, tinged with kindness I didn’t want to hear. I’d rather not like him. It made me stupidly feel better. “I’m sure most of the shelters are full. They usually are when the weather’s bad. Next time, try to get here early.”
“Yeah, gee… Thanks for the advice, but some of us have to work late. Not even having a fuckin’ job keeps us off the street, so if you don’t mind, we’ll eat and be on our way.”
Cole scowled at me and smacked my arm, but not too hard because he’d always been a gentle soul. ‘You’re being mean. ’
He was right. I was taking my anger out on this man I didn’t even know. I’d been doing that a lot lately, especially with Cole, who had an abundance of patience.
I looked up at the other man. “Sorry,” I said reluctantly. “It’s been… It doesn’t matter.”
Cueball shrugged and gave my shoulder a gentle grip before letting it go. “You didn’t hurt my feelings. I know it wasn’t directed at me. Anyway, enjoy your meals. Please try to stay warm somewhere.”
God, I was such an asshole.