Page 49 of Cueball & Double-Z (Alpha’s Rejects #5)

Marco had been a wreck when we got home after visiting his parents and the cemetery.

I believed he was letting out that last bit of grief because later that night, he was loving, cuddly, and full of smiles.

He also openly knitted on his couch, when he usually kept that stuff locked up in his room.

It was a reflection of the man he’d been.

I was sure of it. Marco was definitely feeling better, and I was so there for it.

Later that evening, Marco handed a gift box to Gio and one to me as we sat on the couch, with Nada curled up next to me, watching everything.

“You didn’t have to give us a gift,” Gio said.

“I want to. They’re no big deal, but I wanted to give you something as a thank you. It feels inadequate, honestly. ”

I opened mine first, tearing open the simple teal paper with white ribbon.

Nada was pawing at it, wanting to play, but I kept it out of her reach.

The box was square and small. When I opened the lid, I found a…

I gasped and looked up at Marco with watering eyes.

I had no idea why it made me weepy, but it did.

I pulled out the beautiful snow globe. It wasn’t one of those plastic ones you get at a souvenir shop.

This one was made of glass and had an octopus in silver inside.

‘How did you know I like octopuses?’ I signed.

Marco just shrugged. “I just assumed with that stuffed one you got sitting in our room.”

I turned it upside down and twisted the knob to play music, then showed it to Nada.

She sniffed it but quickly grew bored. I patted her head and signed, ‘Thank you.’ Then I stood and rushed to him, pulling him into a hug.

I plopped my ass onto his lap and shook the globe.

Glitter rained down on the pretty octopus.

It was the most beautiful thing, and I’d always cherish it.

‘Thank you,’ I signed again. Marco kissed my head in response.

Gio opened his gift, which was similarly wrapped, but his box was smaller. He flipped open the jewelry box lid and pulled out a thick silver chain. In the center was a lock. Not a locket, but an actual lock. “Oh, wow. I love it,” he said, putting it around his throat.

“You’ve been wearing more chains and rings. I figured you’d like this one. That lock is meant to resemble how Cole and I feel about you. We’re all locked in this life together now.”

“Oh…” Gio whispered, fingering the lock, his face flickering with emotions. “That’s… Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Marco pressed a kiss to my cheek, then reached over to Gio, who was trying to keep from breaking as he sat next to us.

Marco wrapped an arm around him and pulled him closer.

“Tomorrow, we’re going skating. We’re going to really get to know the Rejects—my friends.

You met them before, but not like you should have.

This is my continued effort to resolve things with the people in my life.

I’ve been isolating myself from them, and that’s going to change from now on. ”

We’d kind of met them once, but Gio and I were a bit shy about it because there were so many of them, and we’d been sort of closed off to the world after our parents died.

Not just that, but life had been so uncertain.

We hadn’t known for sure we were staying with Cueball at the time. Everything had been so temporary.

Now I was eager to get to know them.

Gio and I held hands while carrying our boards as we followed Marco to the pavilion he’d rented out at the skatepark. He’d also ordered some food for everyone that had been delivered.

I dropped his hand and tucked my board underneath my arm before signing, ‘He’s changing. I love this side of him.’

“I do, too. I love all sides of him, but it’s nice to see our Marco heal.” Gio bumped my shoulder and looked down at me. “We all need to. I think we should do therapy… together. You and me. Maybe Marco will eventually join us.”

I hadn’t wanted to originally. I didn’t want to fix myself because I’d just accepted my life. But watching Marco make an effort to grow, heal, and move on was uplifting, and I was seeing things a bit differently.

‘Maybe,’ I gestured, but I made no promises. I’d do it if Marco needed us there with him. I’d do anything for him and Gio.

When we arrived under the pavilion, all the people we’d met were there, along with some others we hadn’t. I felt a bit of my shyness kick in, but I sucked it up for Marco. It wasn’t like me to be overly shy, but I’d been so used to living with just Gio, and then it was only the three of us.

An attractive blond man covered in tattoos with a prosthetic leg walked over to Marco with a big smile on his face and shook his hand. What happened to him?

“Hey, Cue. What’s going on? What’s this about? You called us all to meet, so here we are,” said the blond man.

“Thanks for coming, Alpha. All of you.” Marco reached for Gio and me, grabbing our hands and holding them. “First, this is Cole and Gio. Most of you have already met them. I’d introduced you to them as Zilch and Zero. What I didn’t know at the time was that they’re mine, and I’m theirs.”

“I knew it,” coughed a girl. The only girl. Jazz, right?

“Yes, Jazz . We all know you’re the smartest among us,” Marco teased.

She laughed and raised her nose in the air. “It’s about time that was recognized.”

Marco rolled his eyes, which was so childlike for him, but he wore a smile.

“ Anyway … I’d like to apologize to you all.

It’s something I’ve been doing a fucking lot lately.

Cole and Gio have opened my eyes wide. I’ve been doling out tough love and advice to most of you without letting any of you in.

I’ve kept everyone at arm’s length. Just know it was never you. None of you—only me.”

“Tell us something we don’t know,” Alpha chuckled, leaning into a man with long, dark brown hair, and a short beard, who was equally attractive.

“I didn’t let you in because it would expose my failures. You see, I used to be a therapist. A new therapist, but I’d had extensive education and training in the field at Johns Hopkins.”

Everyone dropped their jaws, and someone whistled. No one saw that coming. Neither had Gio nor I.

“No shit?” someone said.

“I should’ve guessed,” said another. It was hard to remember who was who from the last time we’d met.

“My name is Marco Maldonado. Most of you know my first name, but I’m introducing myself, not as Cueball, the man with the tall walls. I lost someone very dear to me to suicide over seven years ago. Shane was—”

Before he could finish, a tall man with dark brown hair sitting next to Aiden spoke up. Ajax was his name? It was hard to keep track. “Let me guess. You blamed yourself for his death? That explains your reaction to my bipolar diagnosis.”

“Yes, I did… for a long time.” Marco raised his hand to silence everyone after letting mine go.

Marco went on to explain what happened to Shane and why he blamed himself without going into all the details.

“Please don’t tell me it wasn’t my fault.

I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that not everything is under my control.

It’s not easy to let go of because I’d found him, but I’m trying. ”

When he sat down on the picnic bench, Gio and I flanked him, making sure he was protected, safe, and loved, even among his friends.

“I also kept you at arm’s length because you all were the rejected. I was the one who did the rejecting. Not you, but my family, as I was consumed by self-hatred and blame. So I set this meeting up today, not to drown you in my past and trauma dump on you, but for you to finally know me.”

Alpha came over and clapped him on the back with a warm and sympathetic smile on his face. “But you were rejected.”

Marco furrowed his brow, staring at his hands. “I don’t understand?”

“Shane rejected you in a way. Not to diminish his pain and suffering, but he made a choice. He chose not to take his medicine. He chose not to continue therapy. Everything that happened was from his choices. Deep down, you have to feel that, right? Maybe it was easier to blame yourself than it was to blame him. I mean, you’re still alive and he isn’t. ”

Marco ran his hands across his head and leaned back in the seat, staring at the ceiling of the pavillion. “Fuck…”

“You’re a smart-as-hell guy. Clearly. But sometimes we blind ourselves with our own pain. It’s easier to see things on the outside than on the inside.”

Marco thought about what Alpha had said, though I wasn’t sure he’d accept that. He sighed, nodded, and looked up at Alpha. “Anyway, talking about this has been exhausting, so eat up and let’s skate. I hope you all can forgive me.”

Aiden came over and sat on the edge of the picnic table, his rings and chain necklaces gleaming over his tattooed skin. I knew this was Aiden because Marco had talked about him a lot, since they used to live together and were the closest of his friends, he and Stone.

“I want to say I’m hurt you never told me, but that’d make me a dick,” he said before taking a pull from his beer bottle.

“I’m sorry, Aiden. I kept things from you most of all because you were the closest to me. I wasn’t ready to open my soul.”

“It’s cool, man. You’re doing it now. We’ve always respected you, Cue. All of us. Even when I was at my most dickish. Despite my behavior and my own pain, you really helped me through it all and helped me take care of Jaxon. I’ll always love you for that.”

Marco’s eyes watered, and he held Aiden’s hand for a brief moment. “Thank you.”

“Don’t get all mushy on me now,” Aiden said, winking before he hopped off and headed back toward Ajax, who wrapped an arm around him and kissed his cheek .

Marco chuckled after him, tugging Gio and me against him, as he watched his friends talk, laugh, and eat.