Page 2 of Cueball & Double-Z (Alpha’s Rejects #5)

He smiled back at me with a quick wave before going back to his computer. “Mornin’, Marco.”

Kenneth Howard was a nice enough man and boss. Most people here were nice. Average people in average jobs living average lives. A life I chose for myself.

I’d been set on a path for greater things, nearly achieving the life I’d built for myself for almost a decade, then, in the blink of an eye, it all fell apart. It hadn’t just fallen apart. My old life was fucking nuked.

“It’s going to be tricky out there with the weather,” Ken said before I could spiral into my past again. I was grateful for the interruption.

I ran a hand over my smooth head and sat behind my desk. “I’m ready.” It wasn’t anything I wasn’t used to. We’ve been through bad weather before.

I turned on my computer, my fingers quickly dancing over the keyboard, as I got set for an average workday. At least I had tonight to look forward to. It would also be a great distraction while doing something worthy, and the only thing that made me feel good about myself.

The sleet had turned to snow later in the early evening, which meant it was going to be busy at the shelter tonight. Those needing homes would pack the place for a warm meal and a warm, dry place to settle down for the night.

I’d been volunteering at OurHouseYourHouse homeless shelter for around four years now.

It was the best I could do, despite wanting to do more.

No one I knew was aware I volunteered. It was something I liked to keep to myself, not out of embarrassment or shame.

I was proud to help. It just kept those who wanted to know me more at arm’s length.

Shutting down the memories that were growing louder and louder with each passing moment, I opened the glass door to the small grocery store to grab a pre-made sandwich and a drink before heading to the shelter .

As soon as I stepped in, a young man, not looking where he was going, slammed right into me. I caught his shoulders just in time before he fell backward, but he’d dropped several items onto the old, cracked linoleum floor.

“Fuck,” he hissed, bent down, and scrambled to pick them up. I crouched to help him, noticing that he’d been carrying them underneath his worn and threadbare army jacket, though I doubt he’d seen a day of military life.

I picked up the deodorant and toothpaste and handed them to him, despite knowing he’d most likely stolen them.

He looked at me with stormy, dark-blue eyes, wide under thick lashes. His long, dark brown bangs had fallen, covering one eye. He looked absolutely terrified as he snatched the deodorant and toothpaste from my hand.

“Do you need help or some money?” I asked quietly, not to be overheard, as I stood.

The young man shoved everything back under his coat, looked around the store with guilty and nervous eyes, then back at me. “I don’t need fuckin’ shit from you,” he snapped before rushing out of there and down the street.

Okay, then.

I shrugged, knowing he wasn’t really angry with me. It wasn’t my business anyway. What did I care that a struggling person stole some overpriced toiletries? I didn’t.

Despite his attitude, a brief smile formed on my face.

He reminded me a little bit of Aiden, or Blaze, as he used to call himself.

Aiden had been full of piss and vinegar.

I’d often pass him on the street, begging for money or food, refusing to fucking go inside the shelter for help, filled with more pride than he’d earned.

Stubborn bastard. However, there was something about him that drew me in, like he showed me a side of himself he didn’t allow anyone else to see, a vulnerability, though I wasn’t sure it’d been intentional.

Eventually, we grew to be friends, and I took him in and got him off the streets.

I didn’t normally take in strays, but his masked pain called to me.

Not that he didn’t fucking fight me on it. Pride always got in his way.

Aiden had been a mess. Angry at the world, he’d been selling drugs to pay his rent, and I let him.

I may have helped him, but I didn’t bother to change the course of a person’s life.

Those days were long gone. It was their life to fuck up or improve.

He finally chose the latter when he fell in love and ditched his ‘ Blaze ’ persona. He’d been happier ever since.

After grabbing a tuna on wheat with bean sprouts and a bottle of water, I paid for my food and ate it on the way to the shelter as the snow started coming down in large clumps.

I stepped into the squat brick building and made my way toward the dining hall, passing areas where bunk beds were stacked side by side to accommodate as many people as possible.

It seemed excessive, but the poverty rate in Baltimore and across the country had been skyrocketing.

Before, it had been people who lost their jobs, couldn’t find work, or had mental health problems. Now, people were holding down a job or two, but the pay was so low and the cost of living so high that they couldn’t afford a place of their own.

So much for the U.S. being the greatest country in the world.

What a joke. It honestly pissed me off. Everyone should have the right to food, security, healthcare, and shelter.

Those things should be human rights, not privileges.

And people shouldn’t be required to have more than one job to obtain them.

I walked by Jonesy, an older man in his mid-seventies.

His umber skin was crinkled with age, and his face was covered in uneven, salt-and-pepper scruff.

He was a Vietnam vet and a regular around here, more proof of how not even our vets were taken care of.

He gave his life to a country that completely forgot about him.

The only soldiers our government cared about were the dead ones, to use as a political tool. Dead soldiers couldn’t fight back.

“’Sup, Jonesy,” I said, fist-bumping him.

He rapped his knuckles against mine, giving me a nearly toothless smile. “Hey, Marco… How’s it hangin’?”

I shrugged. “It’s hanging.”

“Found the girl of your dreams yet?” he winked.

I huffed a laugh and spread my hands. “What can I say? I’ve been unlucky in love.

” It was by design, but I didn’t tell him that.

Nor did I tell him I was attracted to men and women if I hadn’t committed myself to being single and celibate.

Honestly, gender and sexuality meant shit to me.

I didn’t identify as anything. I was just Marco.

Nothing more. Nothing less. Love who you want to love.

The rest was just noise to me. Regardless, I had to tell my parents something when I found the love of my life years ago. “How about you?” I winked.

“Psha… Go on, boy. Get outta here,” he chuckled, shaking his head and waving me away.

I smiled and waved back before getting ready to serve a steady stream of people.

“Oh, Marco!” Carol yelled out. “Thank god.” Her brown eyes were slightly panicked as she tucked highlighted blonde hair behind her ears.

I raised a brow because I rarely missed the days I was supposed to volunteer, but she acted as if I wasn’t going to show. “What’s going on?”

“We’ve had two people stuck at home because of the weather. It’s getting bad out there.”

“I know. I was just outside.”

That also meant I may have to stay the night if the buses stopped running. Of course, I could always take the subway.

“I’m just glad you’re here. I can always count on you.”

As the evening progressed, the shelter became increasingly crowded. Eventually, the staff would have to turn people away to find another shelter to stay in for the night.

Tonight’s dinner was either chicken noodle soup or vegan chili. There were also rolls or cornbread, along with an apple or an orange, a salad, and green beans. We were lucky tonight because there were chocolate chip cookies. Dessert was a rare but welcome treat around here.

The line was efficient as we filled bowls and trays as one well-oiled unit.

Many people I recognized, some were new to me.

The worst were all the kids, some with no parents.

There was little any of us could do about it other than try to keep them warm and fed whenever we could.

Most children were just lost in the overwhelmed and underfunded system.

It was around nine at night when I wrapped it up.

I grabbed my coat and tugged on my beanie, saying goodbye to Carol and the volunteers.

As I walked through the building toward the front doors, I passed a worn and filthy teddy bear on the floor next to the bed.

A little boy, about eight years old, was sleeping.

Assuming it was his, I tucked it in the bed with him, pulled the covers tighter over his small shoulders, and moved on .

I exited the building and headed home. The ground was slick with ice and snow, so I was careful as I walked toward the subway, as the buses had stopped running for the night because of the weather.

I had checked the bus schedule on my phone earlier.

I never minded the cold, but I didn’t want to break a leg or twist an ankle either.

It took me nearly an hour to get home. Once I stepped inside my shitty apartment, I headed straight to the bathroom and ran the bath water. I poured bath salts into the steaming water and then stripped down. Once the tub was full, I sank into the hot water until all my bones were finally warm.

I closed my eyes and let the steam and scent of lavender fill my nose and calm my mind.

The day hadn’t been as bad as I’d anticipated.

I’d been busy and distracted enough. If I could get through the rest of the night, I’d be okay tomorrow.

Tomorrow was a new day. A new future. Tomorrow would be better.

It had to be.