Page 92 of Balancing Act
“Actually, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. It’s part of the reason I’ve been—well, like you said, lighter.”
Sarah’s curiosity persisted as she chose her words.
“It’s Jamie,” she said, and for the briefest moment, a shadow crossed Sarah’s face. Was it surprise? Disappointment? Resentment? But just as quickly, her eyes eased with understanding. “We’ve—we’ve been seeing each other. Romantically, I mean,” she continued, the rush of warmth rising in her cheeks, but it was mixed with relief at finally having said it out loud.
That same flicker of whatever Sarah felt but didn’t say flashed across the hazel eyes trained on her. Whatever it was, Sarah must have made her peace with it, because a slow grin spread across her face, and a glint of amusement shone in her eyes. Beth tilted her head as she studied Sarah’s reaction.
“. . . but you already knew this?” Realization dawned on her slowly.Of course.“You’re not surprised at all, are you?”
Sarah’s lips quivered in a knowing smile, and she took a slow sip of her drink. “I had my suspicions. I had pieced together that you were seeing someone, but I hadn’t figured out who,” she admitted, but Beth could tell she was enjoying this moment of teasing. Sarah had always loved a puzzle. “But after Austin, how Jamie showed up all the way from Oregon? It confirmed what I’dalready been thinking. I was waiting for you to come to me when you were ready.”
Beth let out a quiet laugh, a mix of embarrassment and relief flooding her. “Of course you knew. You are always just a few steps ahead of the rest of us.”
There was a hint of nostalgia in the way Sarah looked at her. “You know me,” she said, tossing back the last of her drink. “The ever-compulsive need to be two steps ahead. It’s a bitch in real life, but beneficial at work.” She settled herself deeper into the plush couch cushions.
“So, you’re—you’re okay with this?” Beth asked tentatively, as she set her wineglass down with a soft clink.
“I’m not upset, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Sarah said gently, as if sensing the anxiety Beth hadn’t entirely managed to let go of. “I mean, I’m not exactly thrilled, either, but I know you, Beth. I know you wouldn’t bring someone into your life—into Lily’s life—unless you were sure it was the right choice. You are an incredible mother, and for as long as I’ve known you, you’ve had impeccable judgment. It’s what makes you a truly wonderful person to co-parent with.”
“Well, I don’t know about impeccable,” she teased, but she nodded, a swell of gratitude rising in her chest. “But thank you.”
Sarah’s acceptance and understanding were more than Beth had hoped for. She relaxed, settling back against the couch as she let herself breathe a little easier.
“I’m happy for you, Beth,” Sarah said, her tone light but genuine. “Now, tell me everything. Well, maybe not all the details, but how did... this... start?”
Beth smiled, taking in the sight of Sarah before her. Her usual perfect golden-brown waves were tied up in a topknot tonight. She had traded her usual business attire for an olive-green long sleeve shirt and leggings yoga set that perfectly complimented her complexion. Tortoiseshell glasses, the onesshe wore only at the end of the day, picked up the flickering shadows cast by the fire. Her elbow was propped up on the back of the couch as hazel eyes looked at Beth expectantly.
Before they were lovers, Sarah had been her friend, and through their ups and downs, Beth had always felt safe in Sarah’s friendship. Why should now be any different?
“It’s funny.” Beth leaned back against the arm of the couch, her voice taking on a more reflective tone. “We met the night of my show in September, and, well, kind of hit it off.” She gave Sarah a condensed version of their meeting, skipping over some of the more salacious details of that night. “I didn’t realize who she was until we all met the next morning at the gym. And, well, obviously, with Jamie being Lily’s coach, we didn’t pursue anything. Initially, I didn’t think much of it, but then we started talking, and—I don’t know, Sarah—we just clicked.”
Sarah listened intently as Beth spoke.
“Jamie has this way of being there,” Beth continued. “Not only for me but for Lily, too. She doesn’t try to control things or force anything. She just cares. She’s been good for Lily—her confidence has grown so much since Jamie started working with her. And, honestly, she’s been good for me, too.”
A long silence followed as the fire crackled low. Neither of them saying anything just yet.
“Well, that makes some things make sense on my end,” she said quietly, her voice tinged with an honesty that surprised Beth. She tilted her head as Sarah continued. “I couldn’t quite figure out where you were this fall, you know. I had thought we were exploring getting back together, but now, with the context of everything else that was going on, it wasn’t a fair fight. I never stood a chance.” Sarah broke eye contact, shifting her gaze to the fire. Beth watched her as her thoughts seemed to process across her sharp features. “I can see how much Jamie means to you,Beth. I can see how happy you are. I’ve never wanted to be in the way of your happiness.”
That phrase echoed between them, similarly to that day years ago, back in her condo.
“I know.” She reached out for Sarah and gently squeezed her forearm. “I know.”
There was no tension, no undercurrent of resentment between them. Just an unspoken understanding, a silent agreement that they both wanted the best for each other and Lily.
“Like I said, I trust your judgment, Beth, but I also think about Lily. She’s grown so attached to Jamie. I worry about how she’d handle it if things didn’t work out. Not that I’m doubting you. I can’t help but think of her first.”
Beth shook her head slowly. “We haven’t told her yet, but you’re right. She’s gotten so attached to Jamie. But, Sarah, I’m not in this thing with Jamie for a little.” She sat up straighter. “I told myself that it needed to be the real deal if I ever took this step with someone after you.” Sarah nodded, considering. Beth took that as a sign to continue. “We promised that if we ever met someone we were serious about, we’d talk about it first.”
Sarah reached out, her hand resting gently on Beth’s arm. “I appreciate you talking to me about it. I support this as long as you’re happy and Lily’s happy. That’s what matters to me.” She hesitated, then smiled. “Besides, if you hadn’t told me, I think Lily would have figured it out sooner or later. She’s a smart kid.”
Beth laughed, the tension she’d been holding on to for weeks finally dissipating. “Thank you, Sarah. Really. This means... more to me than I can say.”
“Promise me one thing, though?”
“Anything.”
“Don’t shut me out. I know we’re not together anymore, but I still want to be a part of these big moments in your life. And Lily’s. I still want us to be a family.”