Page 25 of Balancing Act
“Watercolor, please,” Lily said, rising to fill two Mason jars with fresh water from the utility sink in the corner before setting them on the table while Beth set out the paints and paper.
They painted in near silence, their brushes moving against the paper the only sound between them. Painting had always felt healing to Beth. It was how she worked out complex feelings when she couldn’t find the words to express herself. Something about having full control over the movements of her brush made it easier to organize her thoughts and clear her mind.
“How do you decide what to paint?” Lily asked, glancing at Beth’s sketch of the dock.
“It depends.” Beth dipped the wet tip of her brush into the green paint and swirled it around, coating the bristled tip. “I usually paint what inspires me.”
Lily’s eyes were focused on her paper, where she was making a series of repetitive marks that created a pattern.
“What happens when you’re not feeling inspired?” she asked quietly, not looking at Beth but instead keeping her eyes on her brush.
“Well...” She could tell Lily was trying to work something out in her mind. “Sometimes I don’t paint anything at all, and I try to keep myself busy with other things that bring me joy and inspiration. And sometimes I push through and try to keep creating, which probably isn’t the best,” she said honestly, eyeing her daughter again. She couldn’t help but notice the sadness etched on Lily’s face. “Everything okay, love?”
Lily’s blue eyes snapped up from the spot on her paper they’d been focused on to meet Beth’s own. They were like little mirrors of herself staring back at her.
“Yeah,” she said, a little too quickly for Beth to fully believe her. Beth arched an eyebrow at her daughter. “I think I need to find some inspiration again.” Lily shrugged and went back to painting.
“Me too. Maybe we can help each other with that,” Beth said softly, dipping her brush into a vibrant blue before letting the color bloom across the page.
SIX
JAMIE
“Lily, c’mon! Focus!” Jamie called for what felt like the twentieth time that day. For the better part of their training session, they had been working on a single transition move and making very little progress. Exasperation crept into the timbre of her voice, even as she tried to keep it at bay.
She watched Lily from her perch on top of a pile of mats next to the taller of the two uneven bars as Lily climbed out of the foam pit they had been practicing over. So far, Lily had not been able to execute the new skill successfully—she hadn’t even come close—and it was frustrating for both of them. Jamie was, frankly, out of ideas short of changing the routine altogether.
She watched as Lily groaned and pulled her ponytail out, running her fingers through the blonde strands before piling it back in a messy bun on top of her head.
“I am focusing,” she bit back. Making sure to throw Jamie an extra heavy eye roll, Lily chalked her hands, preparing to attempt the move again. “You’re supposed to be coaching me, and you haven’t exactly said anything helpful,” she muttered softly, but not softly enough for Jamie not to hear.
“That’s enough!” Jamie said sternly, hopping down from the mats.
She noted Lily’s stance—hip cocked, arms crossed defiantly as she approached her. The young gymnast radiated frustration. It pulsated off her in waves.
The tension had been building all day, and it seemed they were finally at a tipping point. Jamie paused, scanning the room, noticing that they were starting to draw the eyes of the other gymnasts. She glanced up at the parents’ viewing area, where Beth had been sitting for the past twenty minutes, drawing in her sketchbook. Their eyes met briefly before Jamie turned her attention back on Lily, consciously softening her body language and tone.
“Iamhere to coach you, to help you be the best gymnast that you can be, but I can’t do that if you don’t let me.” She kept her voice steady, trying to provide some stability to their conversation.
Lily scoffed. “Clearly, it’s not working.”
Jamie took a slow, deep breath in. “Lily, I want you to succeed. I know you’ve got it in you. I’ve seen what you can do, and I believe in you.” She paused, realization dawning on her as she stood toe-to-toe with Lily, close enough to feel her anger and frustration, but there was something else there. A flash of panic glinted in her eyes. “But I don’t thinkyoubelieve in you,” she finished softly.
Lily turned her head to the side, and Jamie saw tears collecting along her waterline, threatening to fall. Her heart sank.
“Hey...” She lowered her voice, glancing around the large room. “It’s okay. You’re okay. Come with me.” Lily nodded, wiping tears from her cheeks.
Jamie glanced again at the parents’ viewing area, where a concerned-looking Beth was now watching them intently, tracking the pair as they moved toward the hallway doors. Jamieraised her hand slightly to indicate that she had things under control.
She steered Lily down the hallway into the weight room and tossed her a pair of boxing gloves.
“Have you ever used one of these before?” Jamie asked. She motioned to the punching bag, and Lily shook her head. “I think you’re going to like it. Let me show you.” She demonstrated to Lily how to punch the bag correctly and how to hold the bag in place for her. Jamie took her position in front of the punching bag, raising gloved hands up in front of her face. “Sometimes, when I’m feeling fired up about something”—she jabbed at the bag, one-two—“it really helps me”—one-two—“to figure out how”—one-two—“I’m feeling.” She stopped, taking a step back. “Plus, hitting something as hard as possible is fun. Your turn.”
Jamie swapped places with Lily, holding the bag against her body. Lily stared at Jamie with an expression somewhere between disgust and curiosity.
“Don’t give me that look. It helps,” Jamie reassured her. “I promise.”
Lily took her stance, hands raised in front of her face, bright blue eyes narrowed with focus. She took a measured inhale and threw her first jab.