Page 17 of Balancing Act
She leaned back against the kitchen counter and took Sarah in. Her honey-brown hair fell in effortless waves landing just below her exposed collarbone, where it poked out from beneath her black scoop-neck T-shirt that had been teasing Beth all evening. High-waisted jeans hugged her hips perfectly, accentuating her long, lean legs. When they stood next to each other, Sarah had a good six inches on her, but she had never minded. She gripped the counter and bit her lip as she warred with herself.
Beth had promised herself it wouldn’t happen again. Not after the last time—or the time before that. But here she was, telling herself it was different. Just this once.
Instead, she chose to lean into Sarah as the pull of hungry eyes fell on her. In that moment, all sense of reason and rationality left her. She was a glutton for punishment, but that beat the hell out of rejection, which she knew was bound to happen if she went after what she really wanted.
Beth’s fingers curled against the counter as Sarah pulled her in like gravity. An image flashed in her mind—Jamie’s easy grin, and the way her curls had framed her face under that baseball cap. She shook the thought away, telling herself it didn’t mean anything, because Beth couldn’t have her. But Sarah—Sarah she could have right now.
“Let’s skip the drink,” Beth said, her voice soft but resolute as she slipped a hand around Sarah’s waist, leaning in to her. “We both know where this ends.”
FOUR
JAMIE
“That is the worst idea I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth,” Amanda said, without looking up from the paperwork she was poring over. “And trust me, you’ve had some bad ones.”
“Better or worse than stealing your brother’s truck to go car surfing when we were fifteen?” Jamie grinned as the memory played fresh in her mind.
“I still consider that a good idea, just an incredibly dumb one. Why do you feel like you need to talk to Kendall Varner, of all people?”
Leaning against the doorframe, Jamie surveyed the gym below through the expansive window, her gaze resting on Lily as she prepared for her afternoon session. Positioned slightly apart from Amanda’s cluster of level nine and ten gymnasts, Lily stretched alone. That morning’s one-on-one had been taxing, marking one of Jamie’s most testing moments as a coach.
Despite her best efforts, connecting with Lily had grown increasingly difficult, and Jamie found the frustration unsettling. It wasn’t the challenge that bothered her—she was no stranger to those. Rather, a nagging sensation, a deeper unease she couldn’t quite identify.
The problem was, Lily was talented—incredibly talented—but she was all gas all the time, relying on sheer power to execute her routines and approach. To Jamie, it was evident Lily knew she could nail any move, yet her movements seemed mechanical, lacking the spark of passion that ignites true greatness in an athlete. The kind of fire that transforms the extraordinary into an Olympian. It was this absence that had honed Jamie’s resolve. She was determined to reignite that fire in Lily. This girl had too much talent to waste.
“Something is going on with Lily,” Jamie said. “Have you noticed that?” Amanda finally looked up at her but didn’t say anything. “As much as it pains me to say this, I think talking to Kendall would be a good place to start. After all, she was her coach and worked with her daily.”
Kendall, as in Kendall Varner—Olympic gold medalist, Jamie’s former teammate and best friend, daughter of the US Gymnastics Federation National Team head coach, and Jamie’s first love... well, sort of. She held back a grimace as she mentally slammed the lid shut on the feelings threatening to break out of their box.
“I’m sure that will go well,” Amanda said, sarcasm lacing her words. “What are you going to do? Show up at her gym and say, ‘Hey, I know it’s been seven years since you’ve seen or heard from me, but can you give me all the details on your old gymnast?’”
“I figured that would be a good place to start. Worst case, I’ll blame everything on you.” She smiled at her friend, who finally gave Jamie her full attention. “It’s worked for me so far in life. You make an excellent fall guy.”
Amanda shot her a look that was more playful than annoyed. “Jamie, you know I love you, and I fully understand why you walked away from everything when you did, but you weren’t here to deal with all the shit that came after. You pissed a lot ofpeople off, and not only did you piss Kendall off, but you hurt her, too.”
“You think she’s still mad about all that?”
“Are you ever going to tell me what really happened between you two?”
No. Never. Jamie could barely handle reliving the most embarrassing moment of her life in the privacy of her mind, let alone out loud with another person. That was a memory that stayed locked in the vault. The fact Amanda was asking meant that Kendall hadn’t said anything either.
“When did you get so nosey?” Jamie deflected, and Amanda glared at her.
“Around the time my best friend tried to lie to me to pull off one of the most infamous disappearing acts in modern sports history,” she said dryly. “You vanished on everyone right before the Olympics. I mean, shit, you remember how I took it, and I had a heads-up and the whole story, which very few people knew?—”
“And I’d like to keep it like that.” Jamie’s words came out more sternly than she’d intended. She rubbed her hands over her face. Jamie had known she’d have to face tough conversations like this eventually. You don’t do what she did and not deserve to get chewed out. It was the price she knew she would have to pay after deciding to end her gymnastics career the way she did—abruptly and without warning. But she had her reasons, and they were no one’s business but her own.
“Look, I’m not trying to tell you what to do”—Amanda totally was, and they both knew it—“but I wouldn’t try to talk to Kendall. What’s the point of stirring all that up if you’re going back to Oregon in a few months? Is it really worth it to open that can of worms? I wouldn’t be surprised if Kendall has nothing nice to say to you.”
“God, I hate it when you make perfect sense. When did you get so wise?”
“When I realized you had no intention of wising up. One of us needed to.”
Amanda contemplated Jamie thoughtfully. “Can I offer some more wisdom?” She knew Amanda was going to, even if she declined. She had always been so perceptive, even when they were kids. Often, she would know what Jamie needed to hear days before Jamie even considered the thought.
“I think your problem is less about Lily and more about you. Think of the mindset you were in coming out of your injury. Think of the trust rebuilding you had to put in with Varner. Lily is doing that with an entirely new coach at an entirely new gym. You two are strangers. I’ve been watching you for the last few weeks, and while you’re very good with her on the technical stuff, have you made any effort to get to know Lily as a person?” She leaned back in her chair, then laced her fingers together and rested them behind her head, leaning back into the stretch.
“Amanda, it’s already October. I’m only here until the end of the year, so I don’t think it makes sense to focus my efforts there. I’m here to help her get her skill execution back to where it must be to do well at the January Glacial Cup. That’s not a lot of time. We really should be focusing on skill development.”