Page 102 of Balancing Act

The thought of Jamie moving her things into Amanda’s spare room instead of into Beth’s house sat uncomfortably on her mind. She knew this had been Jamie’s plan all along. They had talked about her needing her own space, but it didn’t feel right anymore.

Jamie belonged here. With her.

The clatter of forks and knives against their plates filled the room as they ate, and Beth tried not to think about the question she was burning to ask Jamie.

Jamie tilted her head, studying her. “What about you? Any big plans for the day?”

Beth shrugged, trying to push away her earlier thoughts, but they still spun through her. “Mostly studio stuff. Cleaning, organizing, and shipping out a few prints. Nothing too exciting.”

Jamie smiled at her in a way that made Beth feel like Jamie could see right through her deflection but wasn’t going to call her on it.

“You know,” Beth found herself saying, “Lily is at Sarah’s until tomorrow. If you wanted to stay another night, you could.”

“You don’t say...” Jamie flashed her a grin. But Beth knew full well that Jamie already knew that. “Beth, I was always planning on coming back here tonight. Don’t worry.” She squeezed Beth’s hand gently as she stood to clear her plate.

Beth hesitated, her pulse suddenly loud in her ears.

If she was going to say it, it had to be now. She should tell Jamie that she could stay every night. Not just the ones that Lily wasn’t here. That Beth wanted to wake up and do this together every day forever with her.

Before she could convince herself otherwise, the words left her lips.

“Move in with me.”

Jamie, mid-motion, froze, her entire body tense.

Beth’s stomach dropped.Oh shit.

Jamie didn’t move for a second—too long of a second—before finally setting her plate down.

Beth swallowed. “I mean, you’re already here most nights, and you’re already lugging your stuff back and forth. And Lily—God, Jamie, she adores you. And I love the thought of doing this”—she motioned to the remnants of their shared breakfast—“every day with you.”

Jamie still wasn’t saying anything.God, why wasn’t she saying anything?Had she gone too far? Pushed too much? Had she completely misread where things were with the two of them?

Beth took a deep breath, trying to steady the nerves bubbling up. Jamie finally looked at her, and Beth felt like she might drown in in the silence.

Then Jamie ran a hand through her hair, sighing. “I’m not saying no,” she said carefully. “I just need to think about it.”

Her heart plummeted.

Not a no. But not a yes.

Beth nodded slowly, doing her best to push down the sting of disappointment.

Jamie must have seen it anyway, because she stepped closer, her voice gentler now. “Beth, it’s not that I don’t want to be here with you. It’s just—it’s a big step. And I want to make sure I’m doing it for the right reasons. Not just because it’s easier than moving in with Amanda.”

Beth blinked. “Jamie, do you really think I’d ask if I thought this was only about convenience?”

Jamie winced. “No, I know. That’s not what I meant.” A frustrated puff of breath left her as she rubbed at the back of her neck. “I’ve never done this before. Lived with someone like this. And you mean everything to me, and I—I really want to make sure I’m ready for that.”

They finished cleaning up the kitchen in silence, each lost in quiet thought. Was this always going to be their dynamic? Herreaching for more while Jamie slammed on the brakes? When would she finally push Jamie too far? She caught a puzzled expression on Jamie’s face as she stole a quick glance and couldn’t help but wonder where Jamie’s mind was right now.

“I’m going to head out,” Jamie said, after they had finished cleaning the kitchen. “Lily already texted me asking when I’d be at the gym.”

Beth trailed behind her as they entered the foyer, uncertain now if she should have even asked Jamie about moving in at all.

“Bye,” Jamie said, as she reached for the doorknob. “I love you.”

The words came from Jamie so effortlessly, so naturally, that it took a moment for both of them to process what had happened. Jamie froze, her hand hovering over the doorknob.