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I locked myself up in my room as soon as I got home....

I entered straight to my bathroom , my dull reflection stared back at me in the mirror, I turned on the tap and splash cold water over my face and hair....

What was wrong with me....

I've never felt so humiliated and disgusted with myself like I did right now......

I knew it was exactly what he wants, I knew i was feeling the exact way he wanted but that didn't ease the shame and disappointment i felt at myself

I hated him so much, how could my body burn with so much need when he touched me?

It was like he'd inserted a fire inside of me...

Memories of him lapping at my juices , his tongue driving me to an orgasm flashed in my head....

I tried to suppress them but they just kept coming.....

I stormed out of the bathroom and plunged on my bed , my mind was in the state of a total mess...

I skipped going down for dinner, I wasn't in the mood to see anyone.....

I just wanted to be left alone...

I laid on my stomach , my butt still too raw and tender from all that spanking.

I closed my eyes trying to force myself to sleep, perhaps when I wake up I would forget everything...

Sleep wouldn't come....

The area between my legs were tingling...

I unconsciously slid my fingers into my pants and began to massage myself slowly, I didn't feel anything, not like the huge pressure I felt when Hayden touched me.....

I caught myself at what I was doing, i quickly retracted my fingers feeling as guilty as ever....

A shaky breath escaped my mouth as I closed my eyes trying to catch some good sleep, but my dreams were hunted by a certain green eyed boy.....

It was no longer a sweet dream

He turned it into a dark nightmare...

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I thought about skipping breakfast but mom would hear nothing of it...

She kept piling my plates up until she was thoroughly satisfied

"Mom I can't...."

"Of course you can't, shouldn't you be on a diet?"Ashley remarked

Trust my sister to take my self esteem lower than it already was...

Mom scowled at her

"What diet?I think she's perfectly fine , not everyone needs to be a broom stick"

My lips tugged in a small smile despite how depressed I felt inside