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His gaze snapped to mine, his gaze searching, probably to find if my words were true.

He exhaled aloud as he closed his eyes before flickering them open once again.

"Don't " he croaked out, then made a grip on my arm his gaze urging and pleading...

"I don't even trust myself...your trust makes me feel....."

"Afraid?" I completed, I knew because I was afraid too, afraid of the way I was completely giving myself to him, afraid to allow myself love him, instead I cupped his chin gently bringing his gaze back to mine.

"Then It's good...It's shows that you're willing to try not to, I'm also afraid , but I'm willing to trust you..."

My gaze focused on his bare chest ,He added more tattoos over the years but my gaze still found the faint scar on the left side of his chest.

"it must have hurt a lot " I murmured slowly reaching the tip of my finger to trace the scar, he flinched a little but didn't move away .

"It doesn't hurt anymore."

I looked up to find his gaze on me, the nerve in his jaws ticked twice as his hands reached to enclose mine.

"Me living without you was like death ...every day was so hard."he murmured under his breath .

"But then I decided not to find you anymore, I really wanted to let you go, it was so hard to let go...but I knew you were better off without me "

I was surprised at his confession, He had decided not to search for me, no wonder it took six complete years.

I didn't interrupt so he continued

"I knew if I find you I knew I was going to hurt you.....and .....I didn't want to do that..But Sebastian took it upon himself to bring you back to me.....and I'm glad he did, but I knew you hated me and would never return to me...So I kidnapped our daughter, in her innocence she trusted me, but I took advantage of it...You see why you can't trust me?You can't!"

A lump clogged up my throat at the hopeless deserted look in his gaze .

"But you did not hurt her Hayden, I think you even love her, you are still capable of loving ,you were so perfect yesterday, I know Hazel adores you already "

"Perfect?No baby...I'm far from that can't you see?....i couldn't give you anything ."

"You are willing to try...That alone makes me happy...besides you gave me Hazel remember?And she's much worth than anything else in the world "

His gaze flickered over mine .He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat.His gaze smouldered with need as he backs me against the wall.

His arms supported me as he Kissed the corners of my jaws , burying his face to nuzzle on my throat.

"Don't leave me " he whispered inhaling sharply, his gaze found mine once again, my throat was so tight, I couldn't make out any words .

Instead I Kissed the faint scar on his chest, allowing my lips to linger there, a raw vibratory sound escaped his throat as his fingers caressed my back and came to settle on my stomach.

"You had my baby...Carried her here, if anyone deserves to be called perfect then it's you."

I closed my eyes briefly as he enfolded me In a tight embrace.

I wasn't perfect in any way..

Only in his gaze he saw it that way.

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Chapter FIFTY NINE

HAYDEN