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She didn't even see me for the last time .

I never even got to ask her the reason why she gave me up so easily after raising me for eighteen years.

Why did everything just end so abruptly?

I never even got a chance to tell her how much I hated her...

Hated them...

She had said mom wasn't part of it all.

It was all lies, I shouldn't allow myself to fall for them.

I drove the car to a stop and dabbed at my eyes, my heart was a mess of emotions, anger and sadness flow through my veins.

Sadness at the sense of loss that washed over me and anger at the fact that I still cared especially when I know that I shouldn't.

*

*

Ashley's words kept replaying in my head repeatedly the whole full day , I would often catch myself in a dazelike state, I think Hazel noticed something different in me, because she's been giving me the look.

'She is going to be laid to rest next week'...it would be great of you made it ...'

Was I even contemplating going back to our old town?

Seriously what was wrong with me?

I couldn't ever forget not forgive their betrayal, six years ago I almost died because of it.

Not to mention about HIM.

The thought of him discovering me and Hazel filled me with outright panic..I needed to be more careful if I ever wanted to keep Hazel and I safe.

Today I had bumped into Ashley...she'd easily recognized me, what would I have done if it had been Hayden I bumped into?

I couldn't ever go back even if I wanted to...

I winced aloud when I felt a sharp pricking pain in my finger, I looked down to see it bleeding slightly, I pushed aside the tray of unpeeled potatoes.

"You cut yourself mommy!" Hazel exclaimed staring up from her color notes.

I shot her a tiny reassuring smile as I washed my hands off in the running tap water

"It doesn't hurt a bit" at least the pain I felt was centered on my heart and not my finger.

A huge pout settled on her face as she made her way over to me.

"You are lying again mommy" She pointed out at my bleeding finger

I straightened down to her height

"You are right baby, it does hurt mommy a lot, but it will feel a lot better if you blow on it" I said brushing back the hair that had fallen over her face with my other hand .

"Then I'll blow on it , the pain will go away" she said nodding eagerly

"Better now?" she asked staring at me hopefully like she had just performed some magic of some sort.