Page 82 of Theirs to Desire (Club M: Boxed Set)

AVERY

O n Saturday morning, I wake up knowing what I have to do. I refuse to dwell on the detective’s message. I won’t give Victor the satisfaction of messing up my weekend.

But I have to tell Kai and Maddox the truth about the past. About why I left. I’ve fallen in love with them, and if there’s to be any hope of our relationship working, I need to be honest.

It’s ironic. I’m a therapist. I counsel my clients to tell the truth on a daily basis, but when it comes to following my own advice, I don’t have the greatest track record. Not at all.

Maddox knocks at my door at noon precisely. He takes in my red-and-black halter-neck floral dress, and his eyes are appreciative. “I hope you’re packed,” he says with a grin. “Kai’s double-parked downstairs.”

I smile back at him. “I’m all set. I didn’t want to risk a spanking.”

“Liar,” he chuckles, picking up my overnight bag. “You’ve been angling for a proper spanking since Saturday.”

My cheeks flush. I can’t deny it.

I grab my purse and a light jacket and lock the front door behind me. “Am I going to get one this weekend?”

“We’ll see,” he replies, infuriatingly non-committal. “If you’re a good girl.”

Kai’s waiting downstairs in a black sedan. Maddox slides into the back seat and gestures me to the front. I get in, feeling flushed when I remember what the three of us did last night in Kai’s backyard.

“Hello, Avery.” From the smirk on Kai’s face, he’s reading my mind perfectly. “Ready for tonight?”

“I can’t wait,” I reply. There’s no point in being coy and playing hard-to-get isn’t my style.

“Me neither,” he says with a smile. “You forgot your present last night.”

“I did?”

“Your buttplug. Maddox, can you hand it to Avery? She can put it in right now.” He gives me a sidelong look as he maneuvers in and out of traffic. “If you’re wearing panties, now would be a good time to take them off.”

I make a strangled noise in my throat. “You want me to put the buttplug in now? Anyone can see us.”

“Hmm.” He appears to consider my request and then shakes his head. “You’ll be fine. Nobody’s really going to be able to see in unless we come to a dead halt.” His lips twitch. “It’s Saturday. The odds are in your favor.”

“You’re insane.”

Maddox tsks at me from the back. “Avery,” he chides. “There’s a penalty for your hesitation. If you don’t pull down your panties right now, I will insert the buttplug once we get to the club, right in the middle of the main floor, with everyone watching. Do you understand?”

A shiver of lust runs through me, and my insides twist with desire. “I’ll do it now,” I say hastily. Then I remember my resolution to tell them the truth. “There’s something I need to tell you first. Something serious. I want to get it off my chest before this weekend.”

Kai’s eyes meet Maddox’s in the rear-view mirror. “What is it?”

I swallow the lump in my throat and twist around in my seat so I can see both Kai and Maddox’s faces. Face your fear, Avery. “It’s about Dublin.”

They both go still. “Continue,” Maddox says at last.

That’s not an encouraging reaction. Then again, what did I expect? Champagne and confetti? What I did ten years ago was horrible. Unforgivable.

I lace my fingers in my lap. “Victor Lowell was an acquaintance of my parents,” I say quietly.

“I think he did some business with my father from time to time. He creeped me out a little, but mostly, I didn’t pay much attention to him.

I was too busy with my life. Juggling school and my bartending job at the King’s Arms.” My cheeks heat. “Crushing on the two of you.”

Kai gives me a sidelong look at that, but his expression remains unreadable.

“Then one day, everything changed. My parents told me that my father’s company was on the brink of failure.

Even worse, he’d borrowed a lot of money from the Irish mob, and he had no way of paying it back.

” I close my eyes, remembering how scared I’d been that evening.

“Victor had offered to bail him out, on one condition. That I marry him.”

“Your parents asked you to marry someone twenty-seven years older than you for money?”

“I had no choice,” I whisper. “The Irish mob always collected. I couldn’t let my father be hurt. Or worse.” I can’t look at them. “I said yes. I thought we’d have a long engagement, but I was wrong. The wedding date was set four weeks out.”

“I felt trapped. Caged. For two weeks, I held it together as best as I could. I attended fittings for a wedding dress. It was as if a weight was pressing down on me, and the only time that lifted was when I was working at the bar.” I gaze at my lap. “When I saw you.”

“Then, one day, two weeks before the wedding, I snapped. I wanted to run away. I didn’t think I could go through with it.

” I don’t tell them how Victor had barely said two words to me during that time.

I don’t tell them how nervous I’d been around him.

What use is that? “I decided to go to Dublin. A schoolmate of mine lived there. I thought I could crash at her apartment while I looked for a job.”

“Instead, you invited us to Dublin with you.”

“I was selfish,” I admit quietly. “I was hopelessly infatuated with both of you. You were so different from anyone I’d ever met in my life.

So much more sophisticated. Controlled. And in the back of my mind, I thought that if I had to go through with my marriage for the sake of my parents, I wanted to grab a little pleasure for myself first.” I exhale shakily.

“As the clock ticked down to the wedding, I realized I couldn’t let my father be hurt.

I couldn’t be that selfish. So I went back to London and did what they expected.

I married Victor.” I blink back the tears from my eyes. “I used you. I’m so sorry.”

There’s a long period of silence. It’s not until we merge onto the highway that Kai finally breaks the quiet.

“You were so fucking beautiful,” he says softly.

“When you asked us to go with you to Dublin, I couldn’t quite believe it.

I felt so unbelievably lucky.” He exhales, long and slow.

“You were gorgeous, and you wanted to sleep with both of us. For any other man, two weeks would have been enough.”

For any other man. “It wasn’t for you?”

Maddox answers. “We wanted you, Avery. Yes, there were tons of complications. I was never in one city long enough. Kai still had to finish his residency. But yes, we wanted things to work. I’m not sure if I’ve ever wanted something to work so badly.”

I clench my eyes shut. Even now, even after all these years, there’s a trace of hurt in his voice.

I remember the morning I realized I had to leave. I woke up at the crack of dawn. For hours, I’d stared at Kai and Maddox’s sleeping faces, tears streaming down my eyes.

I had everything. I’d known it. Walking out of there was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

Face your fears.

“Is it too late?” I ask, my voice so low that I can barely hear myself. “Have I thrown away my chance?”

Another long pause. Another exchange of looks between Kai and Maddox. Finally, Kai exhales. “No,” he says. He turns his head toward me, a small smile on his lips. “It happened. Victor Lowell’s in the past. Let’s focus on the present.”

Hope stirs in my heart at his words. It might not be too late for the three of us. It feels fragile and tenuous, this understanding between us, but against all odds, I’m being given something precious. A second chance.

Victor’s not in the past, Avery. He’s in DC, threatening to press charges about your engagement ring.

I should tell them. I know I should. But Maddox has already given me five hundred thousand dollars, and I feel indebted to him. I felt indebted to Victor once. It didn’t end well. I don’t want that to happen again with Kai and Maddox.

On Monday, I’ll call the detective and sort out this matter. I’ll show him the note Victor sent me, telling me to keep the ring.

I’ll tell Victor that I’ve already sent my parents money for my mother’s cancer treatment. When he realizes that I don’t need his money after all,he’s going to figure out he has no hold on me. He’ll melt away.

You’re hiding things from them again, my conscience prods me.

Not for long, I reason, trying to appease it. Just until I get Victor finally out of my life.

Maddox clears his throat. “About that buttplug,” he says, a note of warning in his voice. “If it’s not inside you in less than two minutes…”

I can’t help smiling. “I’m on it, I’m on it.”