Page 61 of Theirs to Desire (Club M: Boxed Set)

KAI

I don’t know what I expected, but it was not that.

Avery had blindsided me with her sweetness. With her sass. With her courage and her willingness to explore. With her trust.

When I found out she was married, I’d made myself forget her. I didn’t friend her on social media; I didn’t stalk her from afar. She’d made her choice, and as brutally painful as it was, I needed to accept that and move on.

Largely, I’d succeeded. I buried myself in work. I dated casually. I filled my life with the trappings of success.

But there was a part of me, a part I never acknowledged, that always held onto her.

I hadn’t realized she lived in DC until Fiona Clarke mentioned her. Even then, I’d forced myself not to look her up. Ten years ago, Avery Welch had made her choice abundantly clear. It wasn’t just that she’d married Victor Lowell for money. It was the way she’d done it.

I’m not a saint, but I’m honest with the people I’m with. Avery, on the other hand…

Club M was the last place in the world I’d expected to find her.

I hadn’t been prepared for her to walk through those doors.

I hadn’t been ready for the blazing possessiveness that surged through me when Caleb had put his hand on the small of her back.

I hadn’t expected the fury rippling through my body when he told us he was eager to help Avery explore.

I’m a fool.

I had planned to make her BDSM experience a miserable one. I wanted to punish her hard. Make her afraid enough that she would never return.

Of course, the minute we’d entered the playroom, those thoughts had fled my mind.

The truth is, I can never hurt Avery. We swore an oath at Lina’s grave, fifteen years ago. We promised to be responsible dominants, to extend our protection to any submissive who needed it. No matter how angry I am with Avery Welch, I can’t break that vow.

“Another Scotch, Kiera. Make it a double, will you?”

The bar area is quieter now. Galen and Layla are done, and the center stage is empty. Many people have drifted off into the back rooms. A group of women seated at the corner of the bar, give me speculative looks, but I’m not interested today.

Seeing Avery cry gutted me. Holding her in my arms felt too real. Too right.

Except she’s not who I think she is. I learned that lesson the hard way, and I can’t allow myself to forget it.

Now what? Avery will come out of the playroom and what next?

Nothing good can come of this. Nothing at all.

I have more important things to worry about right now. Though the flogger is one of my favorite props, I’d let Maddox run its tails down Avery’s body. I hadn’t trusted myself with it.

On Monday, I have a neurologist appointment at the hospital. Jayla Washington will check out the tremor in my hands, subjecting me to a battery of tests to try and narrow it down.

I’m trying not to freak out about it, but it’s hard not to. I’ve wanted to be a surgeon all my life. If it turns out that I have Parkinson’s, or another degenerative neurological condition, my career is finished.

Kiera puts my drink in front of me. Maddox settles on the stool to my left and orders a beer. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asks.

“Avery or my hand?”

“Either. Both.”

I gulp down the smooth liquid. It burns its way down my throat. “No.”

“Okay.”

“Tell me about Avery Welch.” Xavier Leforte walks up to the bar and sits down on the barstool to my right.

I turn my head and survey him bleakly. “There’s nothing to say.”

He gives me a skeptical look, then says something to the bartender in a low voice. She nods immediately and moves away. Xavier turns back to me. “That’s clearly not true. What is it?”

“We spent two weeks together ten years ago. I thought she was the perfect woman.”

“But?”

“She conveniently forgot to mention she was engaged,” Maddox says bitterly. “She married the guy less than twenty-four hours after she left our bed.”

Xavier raises an eyebrow. “Why?”

“He was rich.”

Xavier frowns. “So what? Neither of you has ever hurt for money either.”

My lips twist. “She didn’t know that.”

He continues to look skeptical. “There’s unfinished business between the three of you,” he says.

“Xavier, what we had was ten years ago.”

His expression is wry. “If it’s the right woman, ten years is nothing. Trust me, I should know.”

Xavier rarely talks about his ex. This is as much as he’s said about her in years. Fifteen years ago, when we were all in college in Cambridge, Layla, Xavier, and Rafael had been inseparable. Then Layla’s twin sister Lina had been killed by her dominant. That death had destroyed their relationship.

At least, I thought it had.

“It’s been almost a month since Layla showed up at Club M.” Maddox’s expression is curious. “Are you dating again?”

Xavier eyes the drink in front of him. “Not yet,” he says. “I remain hopeful.”

“Why’d she come?”

Xavier is in a rare talkative mood. He chuckles. “She ran up a hundred grand on my credit card. I told her she could return the card or pay her debt in the playroom.”

“Layla spent a hundred grand of your money?” Maddox frowns. “That doesn’t sound right. Layla’s not materialistic.”

Xavier gives me a slightly mocking look. “You’ll give Layla the benefit of the doubt, but not the woman you slept with for two weeks? A woman you thought was perfect for you?”

I take another sip of the Scotch. “I don’t want to discuss this,” I say flatly.

He shakes his head but drops it. “No, Layla isn’t materialistic,” he agrees. “A woman’s shelter didn’t have enough money to cover its rent, so Layla put it on my credit card.” He gives me a sidelong look. “It’s been ten years, you said. How was the chemistry?”

As strong as ever.

Xavier rolls his eyes. “Talk to her,” he advises.

I guess he wasn’t planning on dropping it.

I reach for my glass. My right hand is shaking again. In two days, I’ll find out why. On Monday, my life could be turned upside down.

Then again, seeing Avery again has already done that.

Fuck this. Fuck everything.

I throw some money on the bar. “I’m leaving.”

Xavier surveys me carefully. “You’ve had three drinks,” he says. “You shouldn’t be driving. If you insist on heading out, take my car and driver.”

Maddox gets to his feet. “I’ll come with you.”

When Avery comes out, we’ll both be gone.

Guilt sloshes in my stomach. With difficulty, I ignore it. Ten years ago, she’d left with no note. No warning. She’d married someone else without a word to us. She’d broken my heart.

I owe Avery nothing.