Page 51 of Theirs to Desire (Club M: Boxed Set)

FIONA

“ W hen was the last time you heard from them?”

It’s five in the evening on Friday. This time last week, I’d been getting ready to leave for Club M, my nerves dancing with excitement, my blood coursing with anticipation.

This Friday, I’m in Avery’s office.

“Adrian walked out of Club M on Saturday night,” I reply dully.

“Brody dropped me off on Sunday. I haven’t heard from either of them since then.

” My lips twist. “It’s over, Avery. I’ve lost them.

” I stare blankly at Avery’s pen. “Or maybe I never really had them. They were always Sandy’s dominants.

I was lucky enough to borrow them for a couple of weeks. I should be glad for the time I had.”

She rolls her eyes. “Bollocks.”

She’s so British.

“You’re throwing yourself a grand old pity party, Fiona,” she continues. “Are you enjoying it?”

I stare at her, stung. “What the fuck do you want me to do, Avery? Stalk them the way Raymond stalked me? If they want to find me, they know exactly where I am.”

I take a deep breath and try to cool the sudden flare of anger. “Adrian holds himself responsible for everything that happens to me. But I’m a private investigator, Avery. Sometimes my job is risky. I can’t give it up.”

“Okay.” She writes something on her damn notepad. “Did either of them ask you to give up your job?”

“No.” Even in the heat of the moment, even when Raymond had a knife in his hand, Adrian had never once tried to control me. Brody could have ordered me to leave, and I would have obeyed him. He hadn’t.

They could have forbidden me to go back to Club M. Hell, they could have pulled strings and had Xavier revoke my membership. They hadn’t done either of those things. They’d recognized that I needed to confront Raymond and that I needed to face my fears.

They hadn’t interfered. They’d just been there for me. Offering silent support. Letting me know— always —that I wasn’t alone. They had my back.

Tears prickle at my eyes again. “This thing with Adrian,” I whisper. “It’s a big, gaping wound.”

“Somewhat like your own,” she replies.

I lean forward, rocked to the core. Of course. I’d been wounded when I ran into them. So wounded that I’d hid behind a fountain. I’d kept telling myself I was okay, but I hadn’t been.

Dominants are people too. People who can be hurt. Avery’s right. Sandy’s death is a big, gaping wound in Adrian’s heart.

“I can’t heal this.”

“You don’t need to,” she replies. “They didn’t fix your wound either. They provided support so that you could heal on your own.”

She’s right. I can’t sulk in a corner. I can’t wallow in my grief. I should be there for Adrian, the way he’s always been there for me. “I’m afraid he’ll reject me.” My voice is very small. “What if he tells me to go away?”

“Nothing worthwhile is ever easy, Fiona,” Avery replies soberly. “But, as you’ve learned this last month, admitting you’re afraid is the first and most difficult step. After that, everything is easier.”