Page 270 of Theirs to Desire (Club M: Boxed Set)

THEO

W hat the fuck are you doing, Theo?

I asked myself this question last night when we were negotiating the scenes, and I’d dismissed the conclusions I’d reached. I wanted Addie. I was thinking with my cock, and I couldn’t make myself walk away.

I had dinner with Addie today. We talked about travel and food. I got to know her a little better. She allowed me to hold her for aftercare. If I couldn’t walk away then, where am I now? Fucked. That’s the answer. I’m fucked.

Shane and I don’t talk on Saturday. We don’t see each other Sunday either, not until Catherine’s holiday party. He’s already there when I arrive, in conversation with David, Catherine’s long-time partner.

Catherine greets me with a hug. “It’s good to see you,” she exclaims. “It’s been forever.”

“We saw each other on Thursday,” I point out, offering her the bottle of champagne I’m holding.

“Videoconferencing doesn’t count, and you know it. Come on in. Toss your coat in the spare bedroom, grab a drink, make yourself at home.” She tugs me toward a woman with black hair. “Have you met Mala? Mala Shetty, Theo Keppel. Oh, look, David wants me. You two talk.”

Catherine plays matchmaker with the subtlety of a herd of charging elephants. “Good to meet you,” I say to Mala.

“Likewise.” She shakes her head bemusedly. “Catherine is?—”

“A bull in a china shop. How did you get roped into this?”

“The party, or the conversation? I work with David at the United Nations. You?”

“I work with Catherine.”

“Hang on, you’re the Keppel in Gaffney, Anber, the three of us really don’t follow each other’s cases unless asked. “Why did Reed Meyer think he had a case?”

“He didn’t,” Cath replies, an uncharacteristically hard look on her face.

“He thought if he spread enough dirt, she would cave. He had people write hit pieces on her and called every law firm in Manhattan, telling them that if they represented her, Meyer Industries would no longer do business with them. He wanted to isolate her and make her feel alone and friendless.”

Shane’s hand clenches into a fist. “It wouldn't have worked.”

“Is that what you think? Addie was reeling from the loss of her partner. If Xavier hadn’t interfered, it would have absolutely worked.

” Her tone turns contemptuous. “Reed Meyer is a fool. He could have settled at any time. Addie didn’t care about the money; she just wanted the whole thing to go away.

So I propose a toast to Reed Meyer, whose bullheaded pride paid our bills this year. ”

I’m not a violent person, but if I run into Meyer, I’ll beat him to a bloody pulp. He’s the reason Addie wants nothing to do with Shane and me outside Club M. He’s the reason her walls are so high.

Catherine wanders away to chat with a group of people, and Shane stares at me meaningfully. “What?” I ask defensively.

“Should you really be seeing Addie again?”

“What do you mean by that?” I hedge.

“Oh, come on. I saw the way you looked at her. I saw the way you held her. You’re involved, Theo.”

I can't deny that. My need for Addie is unwise. Destructive. “If I had any sense,” I say quietly. “I'd stop.”

Shane looks at me with keen eyes. “And are you going to?”

“No. This is foolish and unwise, and I cannot bring myself to walk away.”

“Why not? You've never been self-destructive before.”

Because it’s Addie. Since I saw Addie in Club M for the first time, I haven’t been interested in anyone else. “I saw a football game earlier today. American football, I mean.”

“What on earth for?”

I shrug. “I went to grab a bite to eat, and it was on TV. I got sucked in. It was the fourth quarter, and the team from Pittsburgh was losing. From what I could gather, they’d been behind the entire game.”

“I'm waiting for you to go somewhere with this, Keppel.”

“I'm getting there. There were less than five seconds on the clock, and the game seemed over. Then the quarterback threw the ball down the field in a desperate attempt to make something happen.”

“Throw,” Shane says. “With his hands. It escapes me why the Americans insist on calling this game foot ball.”

“You and the rest of the world. Anyway, someone actually caught that damn ball. The game was almost over. They should have lost. But they didn’t. Because they didn’t give up.”

“You're hoping for a Hail Mary pass,” Shane comments, demonstrating that he knows more about American football than he lets on. “You want a miracle.”

I really do. “I know she’s not looking for anything serious. But it changes nothing. I'm going to hang in there and hope for the best. But enough about me. Let’s talk about your involvement with Addie.”

He frowns. “What do you mean? I don’t get involved, you know that.”

Color me skeptical. “You called Xavier and asked him to let Addie use the employee entrance,” I point out. “You saw the way she looked at the churros and sent Henry to the restaurant to get some.”

“That’s just basic courtesy,” he replies. “If I hadn’t done it, you would have.”

“So when you do nice things for Addie, you’re just being polite, but when I do them, I’m involved? You’re full of shit, Gaffney. You noticed things about Addie.”

“I notice things all the time.”

“And you usually don’t care enough to do anything about it. The last time you were at Club M, you scened with someone, didn’t you? What was her name?”

“Serena.”

“What was her favorite color?”

“Pink,” he replies. “Where are you going with this?”

“During aftercare, did you wrap her in a pink robe?”

He clamps his lips shut.

“I rest my case.”

He doesn’t respond, not immediately. “When are we doing the next scene?” he asks finally. “What does your schedule look like this week?”

I check my phone. “I have early morning meetings on Wednesday, so I would prefer it not to be Tuesday night. But if Tuesday is all Addie can do, I’ll work around it.

” I have to. In seven days, I’m going to be on a flight back home.

A week after that, the entire Keppel clan will gather in the family home for Christmas.

My gran, aunts and uncles, my parents, my sister Willow, her husband Stuart, their new baby Olivia, and my brother Rob and his husband Pierre, everyone will be there.

I’m running out of time.