Page 102 of Theirs to Desire (Club M: Boxed Set)

NOLAN

I probably shouldn't mess with Caleb. But the truth is, it's really good to see him give a shit about something.

After Theo died, after Joha’s depression and subsequent suicide, Caleb has withdrawn into a shell.

On the one hand, he's doing all the right things. He’s running a successful business.

Along with his parents, he's raising his niece Nala, providing her with the stability that she needs. Hell, he even coaches Nala’s soccer team.

But it comes at a cost. Caleb used to be a fun-loving, devil-may-care kind of guy. Back in the old days, he would've never thought twice about asking Kiera out. Now? Things are very different.

He's told himself that the reason he hasn't made a move is because Kiera works at Club M. He’s told himself that by asking her out, he'll put her in an awkward spot.

That's bullshit. The truth is, Caleb's running scared. Theo and Joha’s deaths have scarred him.

He lost people he loved, and it's made him gun-shy. I’ve talked to Xavier; I've heard the rumors. Caleb will occasionally play at the club, but he hasn't had a meaningful relationship since Theo died. Hell, I don’t even think he’s gone out on a date in the last five years.

Maybe it's wrong for me to push. Maybe I'm being a jerk. But when I hear Kiera talk to someone in the corridor, telling them that her apartment resembles a furnace, an idea strikes me. My lips twitching, I get to my feet and head toward the door.

Caleb's recognized Kiera's voice too. He lifts his head. “What are you doing, Nolan?”

My smile widens. “My hotel has a pool. I'm going to invite Kiera to join me for a swim tonight.” I turn toward him, my eyebrow raised. “You don't mind, do you? Like you said, you flirt with everyone.”

Caleb shoots me a dark look. “You’re going to ask her out?”

“Is that a problem?”

If looks could incinerate, I'd be nothing but a pile of dust and ash on Xavier’s antique Persian rug. “Why are you doing this?” he grinds out through gritted teeth. “She's a good person, Nolan. Don’t play games with her. She deserves better than you and me.”

“I’m not doing anything. It’s a hundred degrees outside, and I have access to a pool.

Besides,” I add, my smile fading. “You shouldn't lump yourself in with me. You’re the CEO of a multi-billion-dollar company. You take care of your niece. You’re loved by your family.

If something were to happen to you, you'd be mourned.”

Caleb's expression sharpens, and I clamp my mouth shut. Fuck. I’ve said too much.

Yes, I’m lonely as fuck. Yes, I sometimes wonder if anyone would miss me if I were killed in a gunfight.

Last year, I'd been wounded in Mogadishu.

I'd laid in a hospital bed for six weeks, and I've been struck with a painful realization. I’ve made a difference in peoples' lives, but it’s not personal.

People like me. People are grateful to me, but no one loves me.

But I’ve made my choices. I’ve always held myself aloof. It's what I’ve needed to do. My life is too dangerous; I have no business dragging someone into it.

Theo Reeves, Caleb’s brother, thought he could have it all, but when he was killed, his wife Joha had been so broken-hearted that she’d withdrawn into herself.

She’d self-medicated with alcohol and drugs, and eventually, she’d overdosed.

Their daughter Nala, who had just been two at the time, had been so traumatized that she hadn't talked for over a year.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. I need to keep my eyes on the prize.

I've been hunting for Luis Fernando Martinez for three years, and I’ve never been closer to finding out who he is.

All I have to do is locate Gregory Dratch and let the former IT guy of the Kitai Bratva take me right to his boss.

I’ve no doubt Dratch will cooperate; the guy’s a fucking coward who’s already faked his death once to hide from the mafiya .

Club M can be a pleasant diversion, a way to blow off steam for a day or two. But it cannot be anything else.

Caleb’s giving me a searching look. “Somalia was a shit show,” he says, accurately pinpointing the problem. “I came to see you in the hospital, but you weren’t accepting visitors. Alexander tried too; Ellie and Alexander flew all the way from Paris, and you pushed them away.”

Damn it. I need to distract Caleb before he launches full force into psychoanalyzing me. “If you have a problem about me inviting Kiera to the pool, why don’t you do something about it?” I taunt.

“Fuck you, Nolan.”

“Suit yourself.”

I’m almost at the door when Caleb jumps to his feet and cuts ahead of me, muttering a curse under his breath. Wrenching Xavier’s office door open, he steps out into the hallway. “Kiera,” he says. “Could you come in for a minute please?”