Page 163 of Theirs to Desire (Club M: Boxed Set)

ERIC

W hat the hell am I thinking?

I don’t care about anal sex. I mean, anal’s fun and all that, but of all the thousands of things I could have said, that’s the question I asked her?

My emotions are all over the place. I’m a little bit jealous that Hunter and Dixie had what seems a very intimate dinner. I feel left out. That’s insane. I should stay away from Dixie.

But God, when she told me her fantasy…

I should say no. This is too complicated. For starters, we work together. I’m supposed to help Xavier find his next COO. Sleeping with Dixie would be a serious conflict of interest.

Then there’s the ghost of my wrecked relationship with Cici. When she said she wanted to try kink, I’d been thrilled. I’d been eager to show her around my world. Happy she was willing to explore, certain we could find enough to turn us both on.

But I discovered that Cici thought of BDSM as something you did before you were married. You sowed your wild oats, and then you got settled down. Once you were married and had children, you did it once a week with the lights out.

I don’t know why she ever agreed to try kink.

Maybe she was genuinely curious; maybe it was an attempt to get me to propose.

In any case, when it became clear that we had very different sexual needs, things had gotten ugly.

She’d called me a pervert and made our friends believe that I got off on hurting her.

I loved her. The shock of what she did has kept me from getting involved with anyone again.

This situation with Dixie is going to end up the same way—I just know it.

Dixie thinks she wants to explore her wild side. Bitter experience has taught me that women like her don't really have a wild side that they can access without guilt.

I keep things casual. I play with experienced partners, women who know exactly what they want and aren’t afraid to ask for it. I hold people at arm’s length.

Today, Dixie might drink a margarita and proclaim that she wants to have sex in the back seat of a car with both of us. But afterward? I know what will happen. Embarrassment. Guilt. Shame.

And eventually, she’ll look for someone to blame.

You don’t know anything about me.

She’s right; I don’t. She might not react as destructively as Cici had. She might surprise me.

It’s one scene. A one-time thing. She wants to keep it casual too.

Hunter’s looking at me, waiting for me to respond. I don’t know what to tell him. I don’t want him to be in the scene and not me, and that’s a dick thing to wish for. Sure, Hunter is a friend, and he might even accede to my wish, but it’s not fair.

I wouldn't have thought Dixie would be an exhibitionist. Her fantasy has taken me entirely by surprise, and fuck me, I want in.

You know you’re going to say yes, don’t you?

Still, I try one last desperate attempt at common sense. “We work together.”

“We do,” Dixie agrees. Is that doubt in her eyes? Is she regretting this conversation? “John Stone already thinks the only reason you stood up for me against Kevin is because you want in my pants.”

I snap my head up. “He said what?”

She waves it aside. “You’re right. I’m being crazy. We shouldn’t do this.”

I should be relieved she’s having second thoughts, but somehow, I find myself arguing the other side. “That’s not a ‘No.’ I need to tell Xavier we’re going to do a scene together.” I take a deep breath. “I’m in.”

She bites her lower lip, her expression uncertain. “Too much?” I ask her. “Too real?”

She must think I’m mocking her again. Her eyes flash with ire. “I don’t want to do anything behind Xavier’s back either,” she shoots back.

Speaking of the devil, Xavier chooses that moment to walk into the bar. I look at the beautiful woman in front of me. “What do you think, Dixie? Yes or no?”

“Yes.”