Page 67 of The Sins of Silas (The Otacian Chronicles #2)

Chapter Sixty-Seven

LENA

“ O h fuck,” I breathed.

Silas went utterly still, and we were all left staring at one another.

“Roland, I can explain—” I began, but he spun away.

Throwing my hand outward, I blocked him from leaving, a protective barrier sealing him in this hallway.

Roland's shoulders rose and fell, and then he rotated his body toward us, brows lowered, eyes narrowed.

“I said I can explain,” I bit out. My eyes flicked up to Silas. “I'm sorry. I-I'll talk to him.”

Silas's worried gaze went back to his friend, then to mine.

“Go,” I ordered him gently.

He sighed, that scowl taking over his face as he turned, walking away.

I released the barrier just as Silas passed Roland, wandering down the steps.

I nodded toward my room. “Come inside.”

Roland clenched his jaw, but he followed me.

Closing the door behind him, I sighed through my nose. Roland remained silent as he watched me release my hair from its braid and walk toward the bath.

I allowed my towel to fall, not caring that he saw my naked body, as he'd seen it already many times before.

My eyes fluttered closed as I sunk into the bath. I blew out of my nose, dipping my head under for a moment before emerging. When I wiped the water droplets away from my eyes, the handsome soldier was still staring daggers at me.

I motioned for him to sit beside the bath. He hesitated but removed his boots, rolled up his pant legs, and sat, dipping his calves into the water.

“Well?” he asked.

I took a long breath, smiling to myself. “When I met Quill, back when I was sixteen, I was immediately affected by him. There was this…bond between us. It superseded attraction, though we were surely attracted to one another. I know it now as the Soul-Tie bond.” My eyes flitted to Roland, who continued to study me with a hardened jaw.

“Quill lived in the Inner Ring. Well, that is where I met him one morning. Long story short, he'd witnessed a lousy attempt at me defending myself. He agreed to train me once a week after that.” I drifted my hands over the bubbles in the water. “It was a few months of that, meeting once a week, falling for one another. But he was so secretive. There was much about him I didn't know.”

My eyes roamed up to Roland's, whose stare was growing more confused.

“We had lost our virginities to one another one evening in my home. But after, I was tired of his secrecy. I followed him home the following week, hiding myself with an invisibility elixir. He took a strange path, one that passed beside the castle.”

Roland's eyes began to widen.

“I was caught—by Torrin, of all people—for sneaking into the Center. When I was presented to the Queen the following day, beside her was Quill. Beside her…was Silas.”

Roland blinked rapidly. “You and him…you knew each other?”

I nodded. “I've been in love with him all these years. I faked my death when the kill order was in place, never having told him what I really was. It changed him.”

I could tell Roland's mind was reeling. “That's why he saved you…why he joined your cause. Why, after so many years of hatred of your kind, he seemingly flipped a switch.”

“I'm sorry for withholding that information,” I spoke honestly. “But we both didn't want our people to think we were joining forces simply because we were in love when we were younger, even though it was a major part.”

He took a handful of minutes to process. “Gods, no wonder he's been extra sick of me.” He winced. “My flirting with you must've driven him crazy.”

“It has been strange between us since reuniting. I have a history with Torrin and obviously have had fun with you. And then there's the fact he is married.”

“When did you two…start up again?”

“We had a moment when I returned from the mountain,” I admitted, eyes glued to the water. “But it wasn't until we were in the cabin—the Valley of Awakening—that we fully admitted our feelings and worked through everything. Well…worked through most things.”

My eyes slowly rose to his at his silence.

“Do you think I'm a bad person?” I asked quietly.

He shook his head. “No, Lena. I think this situation is messy as fuck.” He paused. “I think Silas should leave his wife, though I have believed him unhappy with her since the start.” He smiled weakly. “I suppose now I know why.”

A pang of guilt washed over me. I knew his and Silas's secret, though it was not my place to say what I learned. Maybe all this time, Roland believed Silas to have feelings for him.

Roland's head fell. “I should get back.”

“I'm sorry I didn't tell you,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. “I really wanted to move on from him…but I couldn't.”

Roland angled his head up, then motioned with his finger for me to come over. I swam forward, stopping once I was between his legs.

He lifted his hand, stroking my cheek with a half-smile. “So much makes sense now,” he murmured, then his bottom lip protruded. “Damn…the last time really was our last, wasn't it?”

I bit my lip, then splashed him lightly with water. He chuckled.

I was still attracted to him. But I had no desire for anyone but Silas.

“Afraid so.”

“Boo.” He sighed, his hand falling back, the corners of his lips rising. “I'm happy for you guys…happy you've found each other again.” His smile faltered. “What about Era?”

My shoulders drooped. “There is a lot to be worked out regarding that. We agreed we wouldn't be intimate with anyone else while we figure things out. I… I shouldn't have kissed him.” I raked my wet hands down my face.

“You two haven't hooked up since?”

I peeked at him through my fingers, guilt written all over my face.

Roland shook his head. “Naughty, Ginger Snap,” he scolded playfully as he stood, removing his legs from the water. “So, Torrin knows about this history?”

I nodded, my fingers falling. “He does. As do Merrick and Dani.”

He choked, hand flying to his chest. “Okay, now I'm offended you left me out of the loop.”

“To be fair,” I began, swimming to the front and resting my arms outside of the bath, “Merrick figured it out because of his gift. Torrin knew because he was there.”

He cocked a brow as he dried off his calves. “And Dani?”

“It's another long story. But I guess she noticed the way he and I looked at one another.”

He slid back on his socks and boots. “I suppose I need to be more observant.” He shot me a wink.

I bit my lip. “I know it's a lot to ask…but please don't tell anyone, Roland.”

When he finished lacing his boots, he said, “I won't. The last thing I need is the Prince hating my guts any more than he does.”

I offered him a gentle smile. “He doesn't hate your guts. Or you.”

“Trust me.” He stood up straight. “He does.”

He began striding toward the door when I called out, “Roland.”

He looked back.

I tried to let him see the truth in my eyes. “Trust me. He doesn't.”

Roland sucked in his lips, eyes falling to the ground before he left.