Page 55 of The Sins of Silas (The Otacian Chronicles #2)

Chapter Fifty-Five

LEN A

I stood in the pentagram I had sketched, heart racing, a pit in my stomach.

Merrick stood before me, just outside the circle, and Dani was off to the side, still looking at me like this was a mistake.

Merrick's dark eyes focused on me, and I could tell by his lack of persuasion that he felt exactly what I did and understood why I wanted to forget. Even if only for a little while.

Writing in the Titharan language, I spelled out Silas's name—spelled out how I wished to forget every romantic interaction.

My heart pulsed in my chest, anticipating what it would be like. I had fixated on the tan-skinned, golden-eyed man since the very first day I saw him. His witty remarks, his lazy smile, his care. I went from misery, feeling like my existence had no purpose, to actually looking forward to waking in the morning once he entered my life.

I thought of my best friend, of training, and I was grateful at least those memories would stay.

Picturing a version of me that wasn't haunted by our past, of what might have been, felt impossible. Felt dangerous. But I had a purpose outside of him now.

And it needed my focus.

“Say the word and think of the memories. Hold your hands toward the pentagram, Merrick, and release your illusion magic, thinking of the same memories,” Dani instructed.

“What if I don't think every single one?” Merrick asked anxiously.

“You're more so here as her tether,” Dani explained. “And to be the person who has the knowledge when her memories start to resurface. It'll be necessary when you need to perform it again. Now do it.”

We obeyed.

Oblivisci.

Oblivisci.

Oblivisci.

I squeezed my eyes shut, lip trembling, eyes flooding.

I thought of his witty remarks, our banter causing my chest to flutter.

I pictured the moment he dragged his tongue along my lips, licking up the icing from the cinnamon roll he bought me.

I pictured us in Amethyst Pond, the moment his arms went around me, the moment his lips touched mine for the first time.

I pictured our kiss, our hands nervously exploring each other 's bodies.

I cried harder.

Oblivisci.

Oblivisci.

Oblivisci.

I pictured us making love the first time, how sweet and gentle he was with me, and pictured all the times after: at my home, in the forest, in the castle. So many times we found ourselves tangled with one another, hearts thundering against our pressed chests.

I pictured him telling me he loved me, kissing my face repeatedly, revealing how much he cherished my existence.

I heard his voice, his flirty words, him calling me Flower. It all felt like a dream, fuzzy and fading.

I felt myself slipping…as If I was about to fall into a deep sleep.

Oblivisci.

Oblivisci.

Oblivisci.

The pentagram began losing its glow, and as the spell reached completion, all those memories, all that pain…

It was all gone.

I woke up feeling slightly refreshed, but when I glanced out the window of my room while packing up my belongings, a heaviness filled my chest.

So many lives lost.

The Mages in captivity had been freed, but still, there was so much uncertainty. Indeed, there would be an uprising at some point. The human citizens of this kingdom couldn’t erase their hate or prejudices over the course of a few days.

Fortunately, Torrin had a close relationship with Deana, the Mage taking leadership here. I trusted his judgment—trusted her—seeing how well she handled her fire when she acquired it.

We were preparing to move on to our last territory, Wrendier. I was thankful Dimitri hadn't destroyed our stuff and even more grateful our horses were left unharmed.

My eyes scrunched as I folded up my clothes. Last night was a total blur. I didn't even remember coming to my room and getting in bed. Perhaps all this violence was shrouding my memory.

Slinging my bag over my shoulder after securing my enchanted blade against my back, I left my room, sighing when I accepted it would be another handful of days before I could rest in an actual bed again.

Elowen and Edmund were leaving their room at the same time, and the healer gave me a gentle smile. She sure seemed more upbeat today compared to a few days ago.

I wondered who else was aware of her new ability.

I returned the smile just as Silas and Erabella left their room, all dressed and ready for our next journey. I noticed his eyes widen on me.

I narrowed my stare for a moment before looking away and striding forward.

Do I have something on my face? I didn't notice anything in the mirror earlier…

I heard hurried steps behind me, and as we all made it out the castle's front doors, a hand gripped my shoulder.

I rotated my head, noticing Silas's worried gaze as he held his hand in place.

Era, Elowen, and Edmund continued forward, the rest of our group just steps away, readying their rides. Merrick and Dani were staring at us, the former's eyes dark as night, the latter nervously chewing his lip.

Why is everyone being so weird today?

My frown deepened as I turned my attention back to the Prince. “Um…what's up?”

He leaned down, his lips by my ear and his voice above a whisper. “I returned to your room last night. Where did you go?”

My brows drew together, blinking rapidly. What did he mean he came back to my room?

I couldn't remember much after I returned from Mount Rozavar. The magic usage must've knocked me out.

“Uh, I was probably asleep?”

His golden gaze hardened on mine. “You were not asleep,” he growled. “I opened your door. You weren't in your room.”

I could see out of the corner of my eye Dani pinching the bridge of his nose, shaking his head.

“Well, I woke up in my bed, so I don't know where else I could've been.”

“We goin' or what, boss man?” Roland hollered.

Silas paid him no mind, his hardened gaze softening. “I came to say I was sorry,” he whispered.

Okay, now I was really confused. I wracked my brain for something, anything that he would be apologizing for. I was coming up empty-handed.

“Whatever for?”

He drew back. “You know what for, Lena,” he snapped.

“Okay,” Dani interrupted, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me away. “Time to hit the road, Prince and Supreme.”

My perplexed expression shifted to Dani, and he continued leading me away.

“I forgot to mention you need to replace the old with new. Otherwise, you'll have gaps in your memory.” He cringed. “Sorry, we can reconfigure next month.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I hissed.

“Nothing.” Dani withdrew his arms. We had taken a new horse from the kingdom reserve, so now Hendry and Dani shared a horse, Torrin riding on one alone. I debated joining him on his, but he needed space from me.

I flushed thinking about our night, then hopped on Donut, seating myself in front of Roland.

Deana strolled out, a handful of Mage guards protecting her. Her skin was already gaining back color after years of abuse.

“I wish you well on your travels,” she said, the guards stepping forward, handing us pouches. “There is silver in there, along with extra herbs and salves. In case you find yourself needing any.”

Silas smiled at her. “Thank you, Deana. We wish you well in rebuilding this place. I know you will do a grand job.”

She inclined her head, her cheeks staining pink. “If you ever need to come back, you are more than welcome.” Her eyes scanned our group. “All of you.”

“Do let us know if you locate those mushrooms,” Silas added. I had heard through the grape-vine that Silas, Hendry, and Roland had successfully tortured the information out of Dimitri—the source of the poison we saw used in Forsmont. Siaxcide. Well, one of its major ingredients, anyway .

“It's of my main priorites. I won't let you down,” she promised.

With our final goodbyes, accepting the gifts from the newly appointed Supreme, we trekked out of Faltrun.

Two kingdoms secured. One to go.