Page 15 of The Sins of Silas (The Otacian Chronicles #2)

Chapter Fifteen

LENA

W e tripped over one another as we rushed into his room and kicked off our shoes. Roland quickly turned on the oil lamp beside his bed, then reached behind and pulled off his shirt. My heart sped up at the sight of his perfect, bronzed body.

With no time to lose, his hungry lips captured mine again, then trailed down, his tongue gliding along my neck.

It felt wonderful, and I desperately wanted to be intimate with him, but despite it, I felt myself start to panic as my eyes found the bed. Images flooded my brain of Rurik violating me—of those soldiers beating me and then watching him force himself inside of me.

I took in a shaky breath. I knew Roland wasn’t like those men…not even close. But my body didn’t.

I am safe. I am safe. I am safe. I am safe. I am safe .

My whole body stiffened, and Roland was instantly aware of my body language. He pulled back, his hazel eyes examining me with concern.

“Hey,” he murmured, grasping my hands. “If you aren’t ready, don’t worry about it,” he said softly.

I drew a few breaths, then sat on his bed in defeat, my cheeks heating in embarrassment. Roland sat beside me a moment later, and his hand gently began rubbing my back. I appreciated how, despite how unserious he was most of the time, it was evident just how much he cared about making me comfortable.

I pulled my lips to the side and looked over at him. Sadness etched his features, and as he held my gaze, a small smile overcame his lips. Another look of pity.

My shoulders sagged, and my eyes traveled to my lap.

This wasn’t fucking fair. I wanted this with Roland. I loved how it felt having him kiss me.

I didn’t want to be damaged.

Ruined.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered.

Roland stopped caressing my back and grasped my chin with his other hand, tilting me to look at him. My throat burned as I glimpsed into his eyes.

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Lena,” he assured, his hand sliding up to hold the side of my face. “I understand.”

My lip trembled, and I shook my head. “I want to, badly,” I said quietly, then bit my lip.

I didn’t want those men ruling me. I didn’t want them to have a single ounce of power over me. I deserved to be happy, deserved pleasure .

I took in another ragged breath. “I just…I want to be in control…in control of what we do.” I angled my body toward him, my hand sliding up his muscular thigh. “Would that be okay with you?”

The corner of his lip went up as he stroked my cheek. “Hell yeah, Ginger Snap.” He scooted back on the bed until he was in the center, his arms going behind his head as he leaned against the headboard. “Do whatever you’d like to me.”

His smile was infectious. I slowly stood, my eyes never leaving his. The dark, golden lighting in the room accentuated the caramel hues of his irises. The shadows only defined the muscles in his stomach, and I desperately wondered what that trail of hair under his belly button led to.

My heart was pounding so fast.

I am in control.

“Take off your pants.”

His eyebrows raised, and he bit back a smile. “As you wish,” he purred.

My eyes became heavy as he slowly slid down his trousers, his undergarments coming down along with them. I loosened a breath as his perfect length sprang free.

His smile grew at my expression, and he kicked his pants off and discarded them on the floor.

He tilted his head to the side, an infuriatingly adorable grin on his face as he raised his brow and asked, “Do you like what you see?”

“Very much,” I answered quietly.

“I’m glad,” he whispered. I loved how comfortable he was around me, how his eyes taunted me.

“Close your eyes. ”

His eyes twinkled, and he did as I said.

I stood, then slowly began unlacing my dress in the back. “No peeking,” I crooned.

His smile grew, showing his bright teeth. “No peeking,” he reiterated.

The fabric of my dress fell to the floor, and then I slid down my panties. Once I was completely naked, I kneeled between his legs on the mattress.

I am in control.

“Touch yourself,” I ordered quietly.

He kept his eyes shut, then bit his lip and obeyed, his hand lightly sliding up his cock before gripping it and stroking. He let out a breathy moan, his stomach flexing as he drew out his pleasure.

I brought my hand between my legs, not at all surprised by the wetness gathered, and began rubbing circles over my clit. I let out a hum, my eyes rolling back.

Roland was so damn desirable. So confident. His chest rose and fell at an increased pace as he continued pumping himself.

“Now stop,” I ordered.

He listened, releasing himself, his hand going back to rest at his side.

I ran my hands along his bare thighs, his cock throbbing at the motion. “I can do anything to you?” I asked seductively.

He smirked, his eyes still shut. “ Anything , Ginger Snap.”

I slid my hand up his thigh until my fingers were wrapped around his thick length. He inhaled sharply at my grasp, his head falling back as I began to work him. He released another soft groan, and I halted my movement to allow spit to fall from my mouth and onto his cock .

“Fuck,” he moaned as I began to stroke him with my saliva. “Gods, I want to see you.”

“Soon,” I promised softly, and he hissed as I bent down and wrapped my mouth around his tip, sucking him into my mouth.

“Holy fuck…” he groaned as I bobbed my head up and down. I began swirling my tongue all along his shaft, all along the ridge of his sensitive head. Roland lifted his arm, then froze. “May I touch you?” he asked breathlessly.

I paused my movements. “Yes,” I answered, panting.

Roland ran his hand through my hair, his moans growing louder as I quickened my pace, greedily slurping on his length, enjoying the feel of the veins wrapped around it.

“You’re a fucking pro at this, Ginger Snap,” he respired. “My Gods.”

I slid my mouth upward, his cock popping free from my lips.

“You can open your eyes.”

Instantly, those hazel eyes met mine, his pupils dilating as he took in my appearance.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he groaned, and I slid my hand over his tip. He shuddered at the movement, and I gripped him, sucking him back into my mouth.

Roland's moaning increased as he gathered all my hair into his hand. I took him deeper, and the sloppy sounds of him fucking my throat had my body begging for friction between my legs.

I licked up and down the sides of him, meeting his lustful eyes, and then lowered myself on the bed and ran my tongue along his balls.

Roland’s eyes rolled back as he unleashed a growl deep from his chest, his head falling once again to rest on the headboard. I stroked him as I began to suck on them both .

“You are in control,” Roland assured, and his darkened eyes met mine. “But I’d love your pussy in my face, Ginger Snap.”

I ran my tongue up his length again, collecting the bead of moisture gathered at his tip on my tongue. I smirked, watching Roland’s smile grow as I ran my tongue along his happy trail, and then I climbed up his torso, turning my body around so my pussy was near his face. I leaned down, and Roland gripped my hips, cursing under his breath, before he dragged his wet tongue down my center.

I cried out softly at the pleasure, then grasped his cock and put it back into my mouth. I hadn’t done this sex position since I last did it with Silas. Gods, I missed doing it.

Roland eagerly ate my pussy, his fingers digging into my flesh as I sucked his dick. He groaned against me as he slid a finger inside, and my eyes fluttered shut as he began pumping it in and out of me.

I released him from my mouth's grip and quickly stroked his soaked cock. He lashed his tongue against my clit, adding a second finger to fuck me with, and the fingers on his other hand squeezed my ass.

“Fuck, Roland,” I cried, my head falling to rest on his body. My inner walls throbbed around his fingers, gripping tight.

“Yes, say my name,” he begged against my cunt, then slapped my ass. “You are the sexiest woman alive.”

My eyes rolled back as he continued to make out with my pussy, his fingers fucking me faster, the flicks of his tongue becoming more desperate.

I brought him back into my mouth and kept sucking on him until the pleasure became blinding. “Roland,” I panted. “I want to come while fucking you. ”

He removed his fingers, gave me a couple of long, tantalizing licks, and then kissed my sex sweetly before lowering his face. “I want that, too.”

I turned my body around, seizing Roland’s cock and guiding it to my entrance, his hands roughly gripping my hips.

I slowly began to sit on top of him, and his jaw began to slacken, his eyes going half-lidded as my pussy swallowed all of him.

His moans matched mine as I stretched to accommodate him. I began to move my ass up and down.

His right hand wrapped around my neck, and he pulled my mouth to his, our lips parting so our tongues could slide across each other. And as I found myself lost in his kiss, lost in the feel of our bodies joined, I realized I felt no fear as he took control.

I hummed into his mouth, savoring our mixed taste, just as Roland began to take over, his arms enveloping my torso to hold me tight as he slammed his cock in and out of me.

“Yes,” I cried, lost in the feel of that delicious stretch. “Just like that…”

He let out a pleased hum, and I ran my fingers through his hair, lowering my mouth to suck on his earlobe.

“ Fuck …” he respired, slamming into me harder. “Tell me to come inside you.”

“Come in me,” I begged. “Please, Roland.”

A desperate, needy moan escaped from me at his relentless pace, and the tension that coiled inside me built and built until it blossomed, spilling over. A helpless scream emitted from my chest as I pulsed around his shaft, a feeling of euphoria that I had craved for so long washing over me in waves.

Roland’s growl was guttural as his own orgasm took hold, and I felt him pulse inside me as he filled me with his release .

The orgasm was still washing over me as he held me close, our bodies covered in sweat, our hearts pounding against each other.

“Thank you,” I breathed, my head buried into the nook of his neck. “Thank you.”

He tightened his arms around me. “It was my pleasure…thank you for trusting me.” He kissed the top of my head. “And for giving me the best head of my life.” He laughed breathlessly. “Best everything, really.”

I giggled and raised my head to look into his eyes. I adored the sight of his flushed cheeks.

I kissed his lips softly. “Always full of jokes,” I mumbled.

“I’m not kidding.” He kissed me. “That was fantastic.”

I grinned and kissed him again, lifting myself off of him to stand. “I’ll be right back.”

I padded to the restroom, saw to my needs, and froze when my hand grasped the doorknob.

I did it. I had sex…and it was good . Amazing, even.

I found my eyes watering and took a few breaths to hold the happy tears in before I exited the bathroom.

I may not be fully healed…I wasn’t sure it was even possible to go back to how I was before. But I felt like I claimed a part of myself back tonight.

When I stepped out, Roland had the sheets over him. He was lying on his side, and when I began to walk over, he propped himself up on his elbow.

I bent down to put on my underwear when Roland spoke. “Stay,” he offered softly, a genuine smile on his face. “I’d like the company of a warm body to sleep beside. Stay. ”

I hesitated, then bit back my grin. He lifted the sheets, and I slid in beside him, our bodies bare. He pulled my back against his chest, wrapping his arm around me and holding me close.

It felt so lovely. Warm. Safe.

I am safe.

He kissed the top of my head before turning off the oil lamp beside the bed. “Sweet dreams, Ginger Snap,” he whispered.

And for the first time in a while, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.