Page 30 of The Sins of Silas (The Otacian Chronicles #2)

Chapter Thirty

SILAS

H er lips were against mine, and everything felt right in the world. My fingers raked through her soft, copper hair. My greedy tongue fervently swirled around hers, my mind calming at the taste of her. I bit her pillow-soft lip, and my heart raced at the sound of her precious moan.

“My love,” I breathed against her lips.

I couldn't remember how it got to this point. All I knew was it felt right.

But good things never lasted for me, did they?

It hit me then.

The scent of burning flesh.

I shoved her back on instinct, my eyes quickly darting over her body as I rose to my feet. Her ravishing, perfect body. No burns…no melting flesh. Her skin was its soft, porcelain hue. I swallowed the lump in my throat, shaking my head in an attempt to clear it .

“You left me,” she voiced quietly, shifting away.

“I…I didn’t know,” I insisted. “I…” I continued shaking my head, images of her corpse lying in her bed flashing in my mind. How could I have ever known that wasn’t real? That her mother had conjured up false bodies?

Lena’s head tilted to the side, studying me over her shoulder with curiosity. The corner of her lip turned upward. “Tell me, Silas, how much do you love your wife?”

I stiffened, and my breathing hitched as her eyes trailed down my body. While her smile was playful, the glare that burned into mine was one that did not belong to her.

I knew it wasn’t really Lena, knew what I was seeing wasn’t real.

“She may be the one you’re fucking,” she continued in a low, sultry voice, turning her body to face me, “but you think of me when you’re above her…don’t you?”

I loosened a breath, stumbling back a step as I whispered, “Stop.”

This isn’t her. It’s just a hallucination.

I blinked repeatedly, wishing to find my way back to reality. But her smile only grew, her arms crossing as she strode toward me. “She has no idea, does she?” she provoked, her eyes lingering on my lips. She lifted her chin, meeting my gaze with a half-lidded stare. “No idea all the ways you fantasize about me.”

I bared my teeth, retreating a step, only to have my back against a wall. “Get out of my head,” I gritted out.

This isn’t her. This isn’t her. This isn’t her.

She uncrossed her arms once she was standing before me, placing a delicate hand on my chest and trailing it down my torso…lower .

“Does the truth frighten you, Silas? Do you hate yourself for it?”

I shuddered, my body’s response causing her smile to grow. As much as I desired to shove her away…I couldn’t. I couldn't because she looked like her…sounded like her, and I hungered for her touch more than I’d like to admit.

“It’s true, is it not?” she asked with a yearning gleam in her sea-green eyes, her brows scrunching together. “Don’t you love me?”

My expression turned pained, my voice above a whisper. “Stop…please,” I begged.

Lena’s eyes softened, and she withdrew her hand. “Is it guilt you feel? Shame for loving me when you’re committed to another?” She angled her head downward and stepped back.

My eyes bulged, and I cried out as I witnessed her skin begin to burn and bubble, that sickening stench of burning flesh filling the air. Her whole body was bright red now, her expression a heartbreaking sight. A look of acceptance of her fate, acceptance of a betrayal.

“Lena—” I rushed toward her, but she retreated from me, tears now flowing down her cheeks.

“You gave up on me!” she cried. “You left me!”

I shook my head. “No… no , I-I had no idea you were alive!” I went to reach for her again, but she retreated.

“Look.” She raised a trembling hand, and I began to hyperventilate at the sight of her skin melting off.

The smell. I knew that smell. The scent permeated the air when I lit Amatta on fire.

I can’t. I can’t.

Lena .

Lena was on fire.

I was gasping for air in full-fledged panic. “Let me help you!” I begged, but as I ran to her, she lifted her hand, a protective forcefield shoving me back. My back slammed against the ground, and I winced at the pain.

“It’s too late,” she articulated, her voice small. “You’ve moved on…and I…I am still stuck in that house.”

“No.” Sweat was beading at my hairline, my brain aching from shaking it back and forth so vigorously. “You didn’t die in that house…you—”

“It’s all been a dream, Silas,” she wept, and I watched in despair as her beautiful hair started to burn off. “You finding me…none of it was real! I’m DEAD!”

My face crumpled. “No…no, no, no…” I was spiraling. “Please— please , let me help you!”

“I’m right here, Silas. You’re hallucinating. I am right here. I am safe.”

I blinked rapidly. “Lena…” I breathed.

That voice…it was her. The real her.

This isn’t real. I can’t forget.

“What did you have done to my body?” the vision before me asked. “To my mother’s?”

I couldn't bear to look at her. Soot covered her red, blistered skin. Her hair was gone. The clothes that remained were tattered. Only those green eyes remained the same.

“I had them buried in the garden,” I whispered. “Where your house once stood.”

Her bones started to become visible as her skin melted away. The scent…the sight…I couldn’t help it; I leaned over and vomited profusely.

“It’s okay…let it out…I’m here. You’re safe. It’s not real.”

It felt like a hand was caressing my back. I heaved again and again. When I was through, I hesitantly brought my eyes up to her charred corpse, now standing before me. Her eyes, the only part that had remained intact, now liquified, spilling from their sockets.

My entire body shook. “No…no…” I breathed, my voice hoarse and broken.

“It’s not real, Silas.”

“You failed me.” The corpse’s voice—Lena’s voice—was all strained and distorted. “You let this happen to me.”

“I’m sorry,” I cried. “I’m so sorry…”

No.

My eyes widened in panic.

I can’t cry. I can’t cry. I can’t cry.

“H-he is going to hurt me,” I trembled. “I can’t go through it again. I CAN’T!”

I began to see him. See them.

I can’t survive this.

I can’t go through it again.

Never again.

I covered my eyes, shrinking into myself as I backed away.

“It seems more drastic measures must be taken to break you,” the King censured.

All the walls I had built up had threatened to come crumbling down at the sight before me. At the memories I’d tried to forget.

“Help me,” I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut. “Please, help me.”

“Think about me, Quill. Think of all the good times we’ve shared.”

“Lena,” I wept.

“Remember when we went skinny dipping in Amethyst Pond? ”

The smell of pine overwhelmed my senses. I carefully opened my eyes and gasped at the sight of Lena swimming in the purple water.

She grinned. “Well, don’t keep me waiting!” she giggled, splashing water at me.

My body relaxed at the sight of her, safe and happy. But I stared down at my attire.

“I-I can’t take off my shirt,” I murmured.

Her head fell to the side, eyes studying me with worry. “Why not?”

My heart began to race again, but Lena was there to pull me back.

“Remember dancing at the festival? How tipsy I was?”

The scene before me shifted, the sun setting to a calming night sky. Tea lights were strung up, and here Lena was amongst dancing bodies in the Outer Ring. She twirled in front of me, wearing the navy gown I had gifted her.

“Dance with me?” she asked shyly.

So, I did. I held my arms out, pulling her into my embrace, and slowly swayed with her.

She rested against me.

“I remember how nervous I was. I knew I wished to make love to you that night.”

I held her close. “It was the perfect first time,” I said quietly.

“It was. It was entirely perfect.”

We were then in her room. My breathing quickened being in here.

She held my hands. She was in a sweater now, in comfortable leggings. “Sleep beside me, Quill. We never could rest with one another. ”

She crawled into the bed, lifting the blanket for me to join her. I obeyed, feeling the heat of her body already warming mine. We lay facing one another, staring at each other.

“Do you love me?” she asked quietly, her voice a near whisper.

My brows drew together, my eyes bouncing between hers as I lifted my hand, brushing my thumb along the freckles on her cheek. “I will always love you.”

Her voice was faint…but I heard her response. Her real response.

"I will always love you, Silas."

Lena smiled, then held me against her chest. It felt so good, so real, that I accepted it. I pretended I wasn't aware of my lucid state, and slowly, I drifted to sleep in her embrace.