Page 49 of The Sins of Silas (The Otacian Chronicles #2)

Chapter Forty-Nine

SILAS

L ena had teleported herself, along with Torrin, her father, and a few other Mages, back to Mount Rozavar last night. Apparently, she thought it wise not to tell me she was doing so.

After successfully ignoring me all day yesterday, she just left. What if she had trouble returning?

According to what I heard through the grapevine, Lena planned on being there for three days. That gave me time to speak with Deana, who insisted I offer tips on how to run a kingdom. I tried to tell her I was just a prince, and while I had my duties, I'd never ruled a kingdom. She didn't mind.

Viola had been helping organize the Mages the entirety of this day, stationing them at different parts of the kingdom, giving them roles, and rationing the castle's coin reserves in an attempt to provide these people with a head start. It was clear now more than ever what Lena meant when she said Viola was a natural-born leader.

I was leaning against the doorframe, waiting for her to finish up her task of passing out silver. When her eyes caught mine, I heard her mumble, “One moment,” to the Mage she was working with before striding over to me.

“What’s the staring for?” she implored, crossing her arms.

I tilted my head and shrugged. “Just watching.”

She narrowed her eyes, and I sighed.

“I wanted to thank you. For saving me.” I reached into my back pocket, handing her a black velvet case.

She eyed my gift suspiciously as she accepted it. “What's in…” Her mouth dropped open as she lifted the box’s lid.

I didn't know Viola very well, but I figured she might like these. “They're hair rings,” I mumbled. “I was having trouble thinking what you might like, and while it doesn't even begin to cover what I owe you, I figured it's a start.”

Viola continued staring at the dozens upon dozens of silver hair rings. I thought they'd look pretty in her braids. At the continuous silence, I felt my cheeks heating, wondering if it was a stupid gift.

“Silas…these are great.” Her glossy eyes lifted to mine. “I'm shocked. This is really thoughtful.”

I snorted. “You say that as if me being a thoughtful man is a ludicrous idea.”

She shut the box, then wrapped her arms around me. I stiffened but happily returned the hug.

“Who would've guessed I'd be hugging you…ever.”

I chuckled. “I myself am surprised by the gesture.”

She pulled back, offering me playful eyes. “You say that as if me being affectionate is a ludicrous idea.”

I grinned. “Touché.”

She tucked her gift into her bag.

“Hey, do you know where Merrick is?” I asked as nonchalantly as I could.

“Knowing him? Probably smoking on a rooftop somewhere.”

After strolling through Faltrun for twenty minutes, I stifled a laugh when I found Merrick exactly where Viola had guessed.

Perched atop a tavern's roof, Merrick held a blunt to his lips, sucking in and blowing out a cloud of smoke. Considering it was still morning, the place was closed, otherwise I had a feeling they'd be pissed for his trespassing.

“How'd you get up there?” I hollered.

Merrick lifted his head, then raised his hand, creating a staircase made of ice for me.

Clever.

I carefully trekked up the steps, and when I joined him atop the room, he let his creation melt.

“Prince Charming,” he muttered, resting his head back against the slate shingles. “What's up?”

I cut right to the chase. “Something was wrong with Lena a couple of nights ago,” I informed, lying down beside him. “She was walking down the hallway with tears in her eyes. She clearly had consumed a hefty amount of alcohol.”

Merrick chuckled. “Didn't we all that night?”

I sighed, lying my head back down. “She almost seemed… guilty of something. I could see it in her eyes.”

He raised his joint at me in silent offering. I declined but continued studying his face, noting his hand nervously drumming along the rooftop.

I blinked. “You know something.” I sat up. “Tell me.”

His icy blue eyes shot to mine as he stubbed the herb out on the roof. “It’s not my place to tell you things from her past. That’s for her to do.”

My brows drew together. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Merrick went to dismiss me again, and I roughly gripped the front of his shirt, pressing him into the roof.

“Let me the fuck go!” he seethed.

My eyes burned into his. “If Lena is hurt, I need to know.”

The Empath’s eyes swirled dark as he studied me.

“You feel what I feel?” I hissed. “Then you should know how desperately I need to know that she’s okay. She completely shut me out, and I need to know why.”

Merrick’s jaw ticked, and he sighed in defeat. I released his shirt and waited patiently as he found the words.

He sat up, running a hand through his long, silver hair before resting his elbows on his knees. “I…I don’t know anything about what happened. Lena just said she didn’t want to talk about it. But I imagine it has something to do with Torrin.”

“You think Torrin hurt her?”

Merrick shook his head. “Hurt her when he left? Yeah, for sure. But the two of them…they…”

My shoulders slumped, and I felt my blood boiling beneath my skin. “They’ve slept together? ”

Merrick loosened another sigh. “Lena never told me if anything ever happened between them, but I could always feel how much my cousin loved her. And the day we found out he’d left, Lena was devastated, even if she masked it to everyone else.”

I was going to kill him. I was going to stab that bastard for taking her away, for touching her.

Sensing my homicidal feelings, Merrick sternly said, “Torrin would never intentionally hurt Lena, Silas.”

“He took her from me!” I yelled, then frantically looked around to see if anyone had heard me. Citizens walking down below scowled at me, and I winced.

Calming myself down, I repeated quietly, “He took her from me, and now you’re saying he brought her to his bed, too?”

“I don’t know if it ever got to that point. But he has always been there for her. He taught her to control her magic. He held her, burning himself as he calmed her fire the night she got it.”

I was seeing red. I had noticed the burns on his hand. “He was there comforting her, helping her, as she was losing our child…” I curled my lip. “What a great man he is.”

“Your father is the one who caused Lena to flee Otacia, not Torrin.”

I had heard all I needed to.

“Make me some new steps, please. I need…I need to go think.”

Merrick studied me, then raised his hand again, allowing me to leave.

When Lena, Dani, and Torrin returned two evenings later, I did my best to stay composed until I could speak to Torrin in private. Lena had that sparkle back in her eyes, seemingly doing better, as she handed Merrick a crossbow. Apparently, Immeron was working on a new design and decided to gift it to the Empath.

Torrin seemed winded, and it became obvious that he was the one who performed the spell to bring them all back.

I kept a tasteful distance as I followed him to his room that evening. When he entered, I shoved open his door before he had the chance to close it. Torrin backed away, brows lowering as I slammed it shut behind me, the room rattling from the force.

I raised my sword, pointing it at him, his eyes broadening. “So, it wasn’t enough to steal the love of my life away from me, but you brought her into your bed as well?”

At the sight of his throat bobbing, I lunged for him. Torrin lifted his palms, holding them out, and the forcefield he projected slammed me back into a dresser.

I bared my teeth, flinging myself forward. “Fight with a weapon, you coward!” I shouted, raising my sword again. “You're the one who trained me. You really don't believe you can take me on?”

I wanted to cut his head clean off of his body. I wanted to pierce him to the wall, gutting him from the inside out.

“I will not fight you!” he barked, holding out his hands. “Nor will I apologize. We almost died in that battle, and the three of us all consented. ”

My eyes broadened, and I lowered my weapon ever so slightly. “The three of you?”

Torrin's eyes slowly widened. “What are you coming here regarding?”

I tightly clenched my sword’s handle. “The fact that you slept with her in your village.” I angled my blade at him. “But now…now you’re going to tell me exactly what the fuck ' the three of us consented' means.”

Torrin was silent, his cheeks turning a bright crimson.

“Did this happen four nights ago? Was that why Lena was in tears at one in the morning, heading to her room?”

A crease formed between his brows. “She was crying?”

“ANSWER ME!” I bellowed, swinging my sword at him. He just barely dodged the move.

Panting, he responded, “Roland and I had sex with Lena. Together.”

I felt my entire body reverberating with the fiercest rage. I loosened a shaky exhale, stepping closer, my voice eerily calm. “I will kill you both."

“No, you won't,” Torrin responded, lip curled, back to the wall.

I snarled, shoving my sword into the wall just beside his waist. My lips morphed into a sinister grin. “I don't think you fully know what I am capable of, Brighthell.”

He looked down his nose at me. “Even if you did want us dead, which you don't, Lena would never forgive you if you did such a thing.”

I slid my tongue across my upper teeth, my lips closed. “Doesn't mean I can't rough you up.”

His eyes saddened as he let out a sigh. “Do what you must,” he whispered. “But I don't regret it.”

“You don't regret making her cry? You don't regret taking advantage of her pain?”

“Don't you DARE accuse me of taking advantage of her!” he threatened. “I had no idea she was hurt that badly.”

“So, you admit you knew she was hurt?”

His jaw feathered. “Yes,” he answered quietly. “Because I told her I couldn't sleep with her again.”

I scoffed. “You told her that immediately after fucking her? Do you even give a shit about her at all?!”

“I LOVE HER!” he cried.

I retreated a few steps at his confession.

Emotion welled in his eyes. “I love her,” he repeated, and then he sucked in his lips, shaking his head. “But it's you she wants—you that she is destined for. It wounds me too much being intimate with her, knowing it'll never last.” His voice broke, a tear slipping free as he whispered, “Knowing I'm her second choice.”

My anger bled out, my expression falling as I yanked my sword out of the wall.

Torrin glowered at me. “Does that make you feel better?” he asked bitterly.

My eyes fell to the ground. “No, it does not.” After taking a deep, steadying breath, I asked him, “What do you mean she is destined for me?”

He was silent for a moment. “You are her Soul-Tie.”

There's that term again, the one Merrick used. I lifted my gaze. “How is there any way to know that for a fact?”

“Igon told me.”

I scoffed again. “The seer who misleads you for the sake of destiny?”

Torrin's brows knitted.

“How do you know it's not a lie?” I oppugned. “How do you know you aren't being misguided? Is there really any proof such a bond exists?”

Torrin's eyes flared as if he'd never considered such a thing.

“That's the difference between you and me, Torrin.” I sheathed my blade, backing away toward the door. “I wouldn't give a damn if she was my Soul-Tie or not. None of that bullshit would ever keep me away.”

I turned, grasped the knob, and rotated it.

“Not even your wife?”

I froze, my voice dropping. “What did you say?”

At his silence, I turned back, meeting his sneer.

“The only reason I am married to her is because you took Lena away from me. Because you all made me believe she was dead,” I spat. All sympathy for Torrin was out the window now. “Don't you dare fucking judge me for the mess we've found ourselves in.”

And with those final words, I left, slamming the door behind me.

I was bleeding with rage as I made my way over to Lena's room. It was late, but try as I might to get Torrin's words out of my head, they wouldn't cease.

I was pissed. She was crying because Torrin set a boundary with her. She was crying because she wanted him .

She had already told me Roland satisfied her better than I had, and if she was this worked up about Torrin…

I released a breath as I stood at her door.

Calm down. Just talk to her.

I knocked, and after a few seconds, I was greeted by a messy bun and bright green eyes.

“Silas—what are you doing here?”

“Let me in,” I demanded.

She blinked but stepped aside, allowing me into her room. I slowly closed the door behind us, locking it shut.

Her eyes went to the doorknob. “What’s going on? Is everything okay?” she asked, studying me with worry.

I took in a shaky breath, appreciating just how beautiful she looked. I always loved when she'd throw her hair up when we trained together. And with the silk robe she wore, highlighting her sensuous curves…

I cleared my throat, my anger rising. I hated the power she had over me.

“I know about Roland,” I said with deathly calm. “About Torrin. Everything.”

She stilled, her eyes going wide and eyebrows knitting. We just stood there in silence for a moment.

I was furious. It was still taking every bit of my strength not to go back and bust Torrin’s face in. To not kill Roland.

“And?” she prompted, her lip curling with her words. “Are you here to judge me?”

“What should I presume when given that information?”

She scoffed incredulously, then turned away, crossing her arms.

I could feel my face becoming pained. “Both of them, Lena?” I barely got out.

She kept her back to me. “How does that make you feel?” she asked matter-of-factly .

“What do you fucking think?! It makes me angry! Fucking furious!”

“Why?”

I paused. “What do you mean, why?”

“Why does it make you angry?” she demanded.

I was left stunned. She couldn’t be seriously asking that.

At my silence, she asked, “Would you have a threesome?”

I took a deep breath. I was a bastard, an asshole, for wanting to hurt her in this moment. “I have before,” I said simply. “Multiple times.”

That made her spin toward me, and despite my rage, pain lumped in my throat at the sight of her glassy eyes.

“Never with Era. But before I met her, I experimented a lot…I’ve had a myriad of women in my bed.”

It was true. I lost count of how many women I’d slept with. When I thought Lena had died, nothing mattered to me anymore. Sex was the only distraction of mine that didn’t involve killing people or destroying my body with substances.

Her hands balled into fists at her sides as she glared at me with contempt.

At one point, we had belonged only to each other. No other person had touched our bodies, and no other lips had brushed against ours.

Didn’t she understand I didn’t want this? That I didn't ask for any of it?

Her eyes were becoming bloodshot, but she tried her hardest to stand firm. “Would you have shared me with another man, Silas?”

I tensed. I wasn’t expecting that to be what came out of her mouth. She wasn’t disgusted that I’d slept around, though I’m sure the thought wasn’t a pleasant one. No, she was wondering if a man who loved her— truly loved her—would be willing to share.

Every relationship was different. People’s boundaries varied. It didn’t necessarily mean someone didn’t love you if they were comfortable sharing.

But I knew the type of man I was. I was possessive. What was mine was mine—no one else’s.

“Never,” I said softly. “I could never.”

Her face fell, and my shoulders sagged, all anger disappearing the second I saw that pain in her face. She pivoted away.

“Lena—”

I went to reach for her, but she shrugged me off, whirling to face me with nothing but wrath etched on her face.

“I HATE YOU!” she screamed, and I recoiled as tears continued to flow down her beautiful face. Her voice shook as she uttered, “I hate you. I hate how badly I crave you. I hate that I will always compare every lover to you and come up short-handed. Every. Single. Time.”

I blinked rapidly, surprised by her confession. “I-I thought it was better with Roland—”

“I lied!” she cried, throwing her hands up. “I lied—and how easily did you believe it? How could you believe it?” Tears poured down her flushed cheeks. “I want you so badly I can’t think straight,” she said in a broken whisper. “I know now that I will never be happy…never be satisfied with anyone else. And I know that you are, that you have found your person,” she sobbed, her face twisting to rage. “And I hate you for it.”

An icy coldness took hold of my features as I inched closer to her. “You think I am happy?” I seethed. “You believe I am satisfied ?!” I gripped her chin tightly and pulled her face up to me, her eyes enlarging at the motion. “I haven’t known happiness since you left my life, Lena. I haven’t known satisfaction since that last night you were in my bed. How can’t you comprehend how desperately I desire you? How, after all these years, am I still in love with you?!”

Her eyes blew wide, and she stiffened as I leaned my face closer, my voice quiet but no less angry. “Do you know how often I dream of you? How often I wish to be holding you in my arms?”

She was staring up at me, her face mere inches from mine. My eyes trailed down to her mouth, and I dragged my thumb along her bottom lip.

“How much strength it takes me to be anywhere near you, to keep what little honor I have…when all I desire is your lips on mine? When all I want is to worship this body of yours?”

Her mouth dropped open, and instantly, my lips were on hers, my hand sliding to grip the back of her neck as our tongues brushed.

As I completely unraveled.