Page 11 of The Sins of Silas (The Otacian Chronicles #2)

Chapter Eleven

LENA - FIVE YEARS AGO

N o…please no…

I sat on the floor in Torrin’s room, weeping as I clutched my stomach in agony.

I noticed blood in my underwear when I woke in the middle of the night and immediately went to Torrin, who, in a panic, went to locate Elowen. I didn’t wish to involve her…involve anyone , but Elowen was the best healer in Ames. I hated putting this pressure on a fourteen-year-old girl.

Another wave of pain washed over me, and I groaned.

I discovered I was pregnant a month before my arrival to Ames. My morning sickness was overwhelming…what little food we found on the road was quickly expelled as my nausea overcame me. Close to the end of our journey, Torrin would carry me as we walked, my body too weak to stand for extended periods of time .

Despite the difficulties, despite the pain, I was overjoyed. I was so happy to have a part of Silas with me…a part of both of us.

I jumped as the door quickly flew open, Torrin rushing in with Elowen and Merrick in tow. If I wasn’t so afraid or in so much pain, I may have flushed having them see me like this.

Merrick’s eyes swirled dark as Elowen ran to my side, her pink hair tied in a loose braid.

“Please, help me,” I cried.

Her aqua eyes filled with tears, and she nodded quickly as she placed her palm over my slightly rounded belly.

Torrin knelt at my other side, holding a cool rag to my forehead. I watched as he attempted to shake his panicked expression.

Elowen’s healing magic glowed gold as she held her palm in place, sweat dripping from her forehead.

My voice was quiet as I asked, “Is the baby okay?”

Elowen chewed at her bottom lip, looking with furrowed brows at her palms. Then, her eyes widened, her bottom lip popping free as the glow of her magic faded.

Her chest rose and fell, and tears streamed down her cheeks. “I…I am so sorry, Lena.”

No…no…

My face crumpled. “There has to be something you can do…anything,” I begged, then wailed as another wave of pain overcame me.

Merrick rushed forward, lowering a large handful of towels to her side, “Do something,” he pressed Elowen.

“I can’t,” she cried softly. “The baby has no heartbeat.”

My body shook as her words registered. “No.” I shook my head. “I don’t accept it. ”

“Lena,” Torrin’s voice was a lifeline, a rope that kept me from plummeting to my death. “We will get through this.” He flipped over the rag and placed it back on my forehead.

Elowen lifted my dress, and as she lowered my underwear, Merrick cursed.

Blood…so much blood was on the fabric, on the floor, spilling down my legs.

“Your body is expelling the baby,” Elowen’s voice trembled, and her eyes lifted to mine. “I…I can relieve your pain.”

I shook my head rapidly. “No.”

“We just need to be here with her, Elowen,” Merrick said calmly. I met his nearly black eyes, and as I watched his tears spill, I knew he was feeling exactly what I was. I knew he understood.

I let out a shaky exhale as I nodded to him, then felt my body contract again. Torrin tossed the rag to the ground and wrapped his arm around me, rubbing my lower back. I felt a rush of liquid pour out of me, and Elowen choked on a sob.

My body was overheating, sweat coating my skin.

“It shouldn't be much longer, Lena.”

Merrick knelt by my other side and held my hand. “She’s burning up,” he commented.

“I know,” Torrin whispered.

I didn’t know how much time had passed, how long I wept for, how long I cramped in horrific pain, gripping Merrick’s hand with a force I knew had to hurt before the pain subsided.

I took labored breaths and met Elowen’s tearful eyes as she lifted something in one of the cotton towels.

“I can’t,” I choked on a sob. “Please, please, I can’t look!”

My body…my soul…felt like it was tearing in half.

Burning .

“Okay, okay,” Elowen responded softly, her eyes going to Torrin’s.

“Shit!” Merrick exclaimed, ripping his grip from mine.

My head shot toward him, taking in his blood-red hand.

“Merrick…what did I—”

Torrin instantly scooped me into his arms, not caring that blood was getting all over his clothes. He hurried for the door, and my two other friends followed quickly behind.

It was late. I knew Mother was asleep, Vicsin and Heildee as well. Torrin didn’t care if he woke them, it seemed, as he practically flew out of the house. He rushed me outside of Ames, the Mages keeping watch looking at us with concern.

It was the first week of January, and the ground was covered with snow. The winter wind did nothing to cool me. It whipped around us, Torrin’s white hair blowing with the movement. When we were further away, just before a river with no trees surrounding us, Torrin placed me directly in the snow.

Merrick and Elowen caught up quickly, the latter taking panicked breaths, the former watching in fear as his tears slipped free.

“Go, you two!” Torrin barked. “It’s too dangerous!”

“But Torrin—” Merrick began.

“GO!”

They hesitated before ultimately conceding, sprinting away back toward our village.

My flesh was heating so rapidly my skin started to blister…started to burn, despite being enveloped in snow—snow that was melting around me.

I gritted my teeth .

“Try to control your breathing, Lena,” Torrin said softly. His fingertips grazed my arm, and he hissed as he withdrew, the heat emulating from me burning him.

“Leave me,” I begged, my voice hoarse. “I cannot bear hurting you.”

“I will be fine,” he assured me. “I have gone through this. I understand.”

I knew he didn’t mean a miscarriage. Torrin had also acquired fire.

He entrapped his hands in a thin layer of ice, ran them down my arms, then placed them on my chest. They began to melt quickly, so Torrin continued using ice magic, refreezing his hands to keep me cool as best he could.

His scent overwhelmed me—cedar and rain. That scent comforted me during our journey here…comforted me all those days he carried my weakened body.

“When my parents disappeared when I was sixteen, I was so scared…sad…” he began, his voice low and calming. “But, as time went on, those in the village gave up the search and assumed them dead or that they abandoned me. I became so angry.”

He leaned in close, using his magic to blow air as frigid as the coldest winter night along the column of my neck. I shivered, but it still wasn’t enough to bring my body heat down.

“I was angry our people assumed the worst of them. I was angry they gave up. I was angry that I had no answers.”

He blew along the other side of my neck, and I let out a shaky exhale, my eyes fluttering shut.

“When their belongings were discovered abandoned deep in the woods, I knew my parents must’ve been killed. I knew I’d never see them again. ”

One last blow of cool air across my lips, and I relaxed ever so slightly at the feeling.

“I am so sorry for this tragedy, Lena,” he whispered. “I am so sorry for all you’ve had to endure.” He placed his lips against my forehead, lips covered in frost, the gesture calming me even more so. When his lips thawed, he pulled away. “But you will overcome this.”

“How?” My eyes slowly opened, and I saw how cold Torrin looked, frost coating his face, his lips, and his hands to protect himself from me. “Torrin, you’re hurting yourself…” My face crumpled. “Please, just g—”

“No,” he said sternly. “This could kill you, Lena!”

“And it could kill you just as easily!”

Torrin’s brown eyes searched mine, and he let the frost melt from him completely, water droplets trailing down his face. It was a cold winter evening, but the heat emitting from me was enough to keep him warm.

In a blink, Torrin grasped my hand, and he hissed, wincing at the pain.

I went to yank my hand away, but Torrin held firm.

“Torrin! Let go! For fuck’s sake…your hand…”

His hand was shaking, burning within my grasp, but he held my gaze with an intensity that made my stomach flip.

“Calm the flames, Lena.”

My body shook, and I let out a choked sob as I saw Torrin’s flesh melting before me.

“Please, Torrin…”

I could tell he was in so much pain, but he ignored the agony and kept his eyes locked on mine. “I believe in you. Calm the flames. ”

I bit my lip and closed my eyes.

Calm the flames.

I took in deep breath after deep breath.

Calm the flames.

Calm the flames.

Calm the flames.

"That's it," Torrin comforted.

Calm the flames.

Calm the flames.

Calm the flames.

I felt my temperature dropping and the chilled wind against my skin as I continued to repeat those words.

Calm the flames.

Calm the flames.

Calm the flames.

When I looked down, my skin was red, covered in blisters. But the overwhelming heat…it was gone.

“I knew you could do it,” Torrin said with a gleam in his eyes. “That mantra is what has always helped me keep my fire in whenever I feel it wants out.” He pressed his lips to my forehead, giving it a gentle kiss. “Now, let’s get you to Elowen. She can heal you.”

I nodded softly, then glanced down at his hand. His charred hand. “Not until you are healed, first,” I insisted.

The corner of his lip turned up. “I can heal myself. I want Elowen working on you.”

“She can work on me after.”

We both winced in pain as he helped me up. “No. Now, come.”

Despite having a burned hand, Torrin lifted me, walking us back to our home. Mother was hysterical when she witnessed him bringing me back inside our house, but thankfully, Merrick was able to calm her down. She wished to be by me while I was being healed, but I insisted on being alone.

I stayed in Torrin’s bed while Elowen worked on me. The soothing touch of her healing magic was the best feeling ever. Despite my many protests to have Elowen work on Torrin first, no one listened. Thankfully, Merrick convinced Torrin to allow him to do the healing, though his skills didn’t compare to that of his sisters; none of ours did.

It wasn’t until morning that I was fully healed. I had fallen asleep at some point. When my eyes finally opened, I turned my head, noticing Torrin was in the room, sleeping soundly on the floor beside me

I studied him…this man who cared for me so deeply.

And once my eyes lowered, my heart sank. Even though Merrick had used healing magic on him, the wounds were so deep that only Elowen’s magic could’ve healed them fully.

I stifled a cry as I beheld Torrin’s left hand, which was now permanently covered in burn scars.