Page 34 of The Sins of Silas (The Otacian Chronicles #2)

Chapter Thirty-Four

LENA - LAST YEAR

“ T he news has spread faster than Despia's plague,” Viola muttered just as I strolled up to the campfire my friends had set up. Summer was upon us, and being able to enjoy the pleasant nighttime breeze with them, drinking wine and telling stories, was the highlight of my days.

Torrin's nervous eyes met mine from his spot on the ground. I frowned.

What is it?

“Who actually gives a shit?” Merrick responded, inhaling a puff of whatever herb he was smoking. Elowen was scowling at him over the smell. Torrin said nothing. “I feel bad for whatever broad is stuck with that bastard.”

“What bastard?” I asked, a soft blanket wrapped around me as I sat next to Torrin. He was stiff, his eyes now glued on the fire.

“Silas La'Rune,” Elowen responded .

I froze, my stomach flipping.

“Rumor has it the Prince has a wife,” Viola answered, her voice becoming muffled as my head struggled to grasp her words. “The first step to him becoming King one day.”

I blinked. Over and over and over.

“Gods, I am not looking forward to that day,” Elowen murmured, hugging her knees. “Do you think he'll be worse than his father?”

Silas is married.

Silas has a wife.

“Excuse me,” I said quietly, placing my glass on the ground, discarding my blanket, and walking off. My friends thought nothing of it, continuing their conversations as I strode away—faster.

Faster.

“Lena!”

I could just barely hear Torrin call out for me, the heat inside me and around me taking all my attention, all my energy.

Fuck, I was burning. I continually thought of Torrin's words to me, words that have helped me all these years.

Calm the flames.

Calm the flames.

Calm the flames.

I hadn’t felt this level of rage, of devastation, of brokenness since the first time I got my fire.

I knew it was bound to happen one day, Silas moving on. In fact, I was surprised it hadn’t happened sooner. But fuck, it still hurt.

I had already lost our child, and now that he was married to someone else…I had lost him. Forever.

Torrin grabbed my arms and cursed, his hands flying back. “Lena, we need to get you in the lake,” he said in a panic.

“No! Just go away, Torrin!”

The lake. That actually sounded good as I stared at the water just steps away, the moonlight reflecting off of the ripples.

I didn’t want him near if I was going to combust, and that’s surely what it felt like.

I'd already scarred his hand. I didn't want to hurt him ever again.

“We’re going!” he growled, not taking no for an answer. He hissed as he grasped my arm, pulling me toward the body of water.

“LET GO! I don’t want to hurt you again!” I pulled back, and to my despair, fire shot out of my palms right at Torrin. My eyes widened in horror as I watched the blast of flame head for Torrin’s face.

No!

Torrin held out his palms and swirled them before angling my flame to the lake behind us, successfully extinguishing it as the bolt hit the water.

Before I could apologize, Torrin grabbed my waist and hurled me into the water. I landed with a splash; the move catching me by surprise meant water shot up my nose. It burned, but not as bad as my body did.

I emerged, choking for air, brushing the water from my eyes. I blinked a few times, staring at Torrin, who examined me with both fear and worry. The moonlight cast on him made his white-blonde hair appear as if it glowed. His brown eyes were dark and concerned.

“Torrin, I am so—”

He made his way into the lake and, in a few seconds, was standing in front of me. I noticed he didn’t even flinch. In fact, the water had warmed from me simply being in here.

I already felt ten times better.

With hesitation, Torrin lifted his hand and softly traced his fingers along my cheek. My eyes fluttered shut, and I let out a soft sigh.

“That’s better,” he murmured.

He was so close to me. All the horrid emotions I felt were fading, still ever present, but his body…his hand on my face, grounded me.

“Calm the flames, baby,” he whispered.

Those words…his voice…this man.

This man who had taken care of me since the moment I met him.

This man whose hand bore scars because he saved me from myself.

It was all I needed.

I leaned forward, pressing my mouth against his, savoring the feeling of his lips on mine.

My body buzzed at the feeling, a whole different type of warmth now spreading through me.

Torrin held the kiss for only a moment before he quickly pulled away, wide-eyed and in shock. My cheeks heated in embarrassment at what I had just done, crossing that line we’d danced around for quite some time now.

Did I just ruin everything?

His eyes bounced between mine, his breathing quick, and an instant later, he pulled me close and kissed me back. My lips parted, as did his, and our tongues began to circle around one another in slow, torturous circles. He tasted so good.

Torrin’s strong arms were wrapped around my torso, holding me close, and my hands trailed past his pointed ears and into his platinum hair, my fingers weaving through.

Gods, this feels so good.

I hadn’t kissed anyone since the last time I kissed Silas. Even though some men in the village had shown interest, it was never reciprocated. Even Merrick admitted feelings at one point, and as much as I loved him, I couldn't do it.

But Torrin…Gods, I have had feelings for him for a while now. While I always thought he was handsome, I didn’t begin desiring him until the last year or so…or at least admitting it to myself. Even still, with my feelings for Silas and our history, the guilt I felt kept me from trying anything with anyone.

But Silas was married now. It was over. It didn’t matter that he was my apparent “Soul-Tie”.

I had to move on.

I wanted to.

I needed to .

I could tell myself I wanted a distraction. But the truth was, I wanted Torrin. I needed him .

Torrin kissed me with hunger, with desperation, and I did the same, clinging to his body under the water and wrapping my arms around his waist. He held me up, his hands gliding down to my ass.

I knew Torrin had seen other girls over the last four years, but I didn’t know how far he went with any of them…didn’t want to know.

Torrin broke the kiss. “Lena, we shouldn’t—”

I didn’t listen to him. I pressed my mouth back against his, then trailed my hand down between us, grasping his hardened length under the water.

He groaned and drew away, his lips now kissing and sucking on my neck as I rubbed him over his pants.

I moaned softly.

“I need you in my room before all of Ames sees what I do to you,” Torrin whispered inside my mind.

I let out a breathy chuckle.

Let them see, I don’t care.

He growled, his hands trailing beneath my dress and his fingertips brushing over my center.

I inhaled sharply, his mouth still devouring my neck, those fingers teasing me.

I gripped him harder, and he fully lifted me into his arms. He rushed me out of the water and in between trees, the leaves providing us privacy. His lips never left mine until he placed me on the grass, helping me peel my dress off. I was left in nothing but my bra and underwear.

His shirt came off next, and my mouth parted, viewing his strong physique. I'd seen him shirtless over the years, my eyes always darting away quickly at the feeling the sight of him gave me. But now I could look, could indulge in the view of his attractiveness.

He nervously brought his hands to the buttons of his pants and halted, his cheeks staining with color.

He was nervous, and Gods, if that didn’t turn me on. Something about this man…this tall, beautiful man who was over seven years older than me, getting flustered at the idea of being intimate stimulated me further .

You mean so much to me. I want to see you.

He gave me a soft smile. “You mean everything to me, Lena.”

I bit my lip to prevent it from trembling and brought my hands to my back, unhooking my bra. I watched as Torrin’s eyes darkened, a small gasp leaving his lips as my heavy breasts slipped free from their confines, water droplets dripping down the hardened peaks.

“You are ravishing,” he said, low voice laced with awe.

I gave him a sheepish smile, and he returned it, unbuttoning his pants and finally sliding the damp material to the ground.

His massive length was rock hard underneath his undergarments, even more pronounced as the wet fabric was tight against his body. He slowly slid them down his muscular thighs, his length springing free.

I was left gazing at his perfect body as he stepped out of them, my eyelids heavy as I did so.

He kneeled down between my legs, his fingers hooking on my underwear and sliding them down my legs, tossing them to the side. His strong hands ran down the insides of my thighs, parting them, and a small moan escaped me as his thumbs slid up my lips.

“Torrin,” I breathed, leaning back on my elbows.

“I need your taste on my tongue,” he whispered as he lowered himself, his mouth now hovering over my pussy. His hot breath teased me.

All thoughts stopped the moment Torrin's tongue dragged through my slit. My back arched, and I leaned my weight onto one elbow, so I could run my other hand through Torrin’s white hair.

His tongue flattened, pulsing on my clit with rapid strokes, and I cried out at the bursts of pleasure it gave me .

He didn’t relent, either, as two fingers slipped inside me, pumping in and out. Torrin eagerly began to suck on my clit, and I cried out, finally letting go and resting on my back.

I only lasted a few seconds like that, though, because I wanted to watch that beautiful man’s face between my legs.

“You have no idea how long I’ve dreamt of doing this,” he murmured, his brown eyes meeting mine, a grin on his face.

“M-me…too…” I moaned.

“You've dreamt of me eating your pussy?” he asked, sliding his tongue up slowly.

“Mhm…” I lifted my hips, rubbing myself against his face. “Fuck, yes, I have,” I breathed.

He let out a hum, licking me fervently again before resuming those torturous slow strokes of his tongue. “How long, Lena?”

I shook my head, not wishing to answer.

He withdrew his fingers, and I nearly whimpered at the loss of the stretch.

My heavy eyes glanced up as he hovered over me, those eyes looking black from his pupils being so wide.

“Answer me,” he demanded, rolling his hips forward, his cock gliding through my soaked center.

“Don't…don't make me,” I pleaded, eyes rolling back as the head of his cock repeatedly brushed against my clit.

“Answer.”

My eyes met his tortured ones. My chest heaved.

“I'm ashamed,” I whispered, my eyes filling with tears. “I feel guilty.”

The truth was I'd desired him for a long time. I'd found him attractive since the very beginning. It took several months being in Ames before I allowed my thoughts to drift to him when I pleasured myself.

Years. I had desired him for years.

His lips parted, and I could assume he'd read my thoughts. He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to my forehead just as he thrust himself in.

I whimpered as his thick length slid inside me; the pain of the stretch mixed with the pleasure, drawing out a feeling I had desperately craved. But Torrin's moans, the fucking sounds coming out of him, could make me come by itself.

He slammed into me, over and over, and trailed his hand between my breasts before gripping my neck.

Torrin, this sweet, gentle, quiet man…seeing him unravel, seeing him damn near primal as he drove his cock into me again and again—

“ Fuck! ” I cried out, my voice restricted as his fingers tightened around my throat. “Yes, Torrin…”

His lips captured mine, his hips rolling, and then I pushed him to the side. Torrin breathlessly rolled to his back, and I straddled him, lining his cock with my entrance and sinking back down.

His throat bobbed, and his eyes rolled back as he gripped handfuls of my ass in both palms.

His averted gaze only lasted a few moments, though. As I began to rock my hips back and forth on him, Torrin's eyes opened, heavy as he took in my naked body. His eyes settled on my full breasts, bouncing with each thrust.

He slid a hand up, squeezing one of them before dragging his thumb along my hardened nipple. I shuddered at the feeling, and his eyes darkened further. He wrapped his arms around my back, tugging me to him as he took charge, thrusting himself inside of me while capturing my breast in his mouth.

He held both of them, squeezing them together as his tongue trailed from one nipple to the other.

“These are perfect,” he whispered, his eyes finding mine as he sucked. My head fell back, and I moaned as I ground myself against his hips, my pussy tightening around his length. “So beautiful, Lena,” he moaned breathlessly.

Taking charge again, Torrin pushed me onto my back and drove himself into me quickly once my legs were wrapped around his back. I ran my hands up his hard abs, mesmerized by the way they flexed and tightened. The friction of our bodies was everything I desired.

My hand trailed up, and I cupped his jaw. “Kiss me,” I pleaded.

So, he did. I swirled my tongue around his, and as he groaned into my mouth, my orgasm crashed into me. I dug my nails into his back, my inner walls squeezing him tightly.

He roared, spilling his cum inside of me. His cock and my pussy pulsed, one after another, repeatedly, our orgasms fluttering against each other like butterfly wings. My eyes softly shut, lost in the perfect bliss of our bodies releasing in unison.

We stayed like that for a while, holding each other and breathing heavily, naked on the forest floor. Torrin's half-hard length was still inside of me.

I didn't want him to let me go, but he pulled out, leaning to lay on his back and pulling me to rest against his chest.

As I heard his heartbeat thundering in his chest, I whispered, “I love you, Torrin.”

His body went still, and as he went to turn on his side, I leaned off his chest and turned on mine .

His brown eyes traveled between my green ones. “I love you , Lena.” The corner of his lip turned up ever so slightly as he tucked my hair behind my ear, using the hand I had burned. “I think you have known that, though.”

I chewed on my bottom lip, raising my hand to brush it alongside his cheek. “I need to move on. I know that.”

Torrin’s smile slowly faded. “It’ll always be him, Lena.”

I froze, then dragged my hand down the side of his neck, his breathing hitching. “It’s been four years, Torrin. He’s married.”

“And if he wasn’t?” he questioned. “If he showed up in Ames wishing to be with you again, can you honestly say you’d choose me?”

I hesitated.

Damn me for hesitating.

Torrin’s face fell, and as he turned to rest on his back, he dragged his hand along his face.

“I-I just need some time, and—”

“That’s bullshit, and we both know it,” he snapped.

My lip wobbled, and his brown gaze drifted to me. It killed me to see the hurt behind them.

“I know you can’t help how you feel. I'm not angry with you,” he said gently. “But it doesn’t change how much it hurts.”

I sat up on my elbow, feeling entirely comfortable with Torrin seeing my bare chest. “I wasn’t lying when I said that I love you, Torrin,” I insisted. “I haven’t been able to even look at another, except for you. I…I always looked at you.”

Once upon a time, I had felt guilty for my attraction to him. But even that first moment when he held my arms, arresting me in Otacia, I believed him to be handsome.

Gods, he was handsome…and so very kind.

His eyes flared, his chest rising and falling. His hand reached up to curl a strand of my hair around his finger, his gaze running along the rest of my copper waves. “I’ve always looked at you, too.”

“If I had the power, I would make you my Soul-Tie. I would,” my voice cracked, and Torrin’s surprised eyes found mine. “I’ve always felt so comfortable with you. You have been there through everything. You’ve saved me from every obstacle, saved me from myself.” I held his face again. “I can’t imagine my life without you, Torrin.”

His lip wobbled, and he pulled me close, kissing me sweetly.

“I can’t imagine life without you, either,” he whispered over my lips. "I wish I was your Soul-Tie, too."

After an evening of slow kissing, we finally slid on our wet clothes, only to sneak up to his bedroom, remove them, and make love again. And again.

I remembered his heartbeat lulling me to sleep as I lay on his chest. I remembered his scent. Cedar and rain.

And I remembered waking to find myself alone in his bed.

Waking to find he had left Ames without a word.