Page 46 of The Sins of Silas (The Otacian Chronicles #2)

Chapter Forty-Six

LENA

A fter the chaos of battle, the Mages took over the massive castle. After selecting a room to sleep in, all within close quarters of my friends' rooms, I showered, rinsing off the blood, sweat, and ash from my body.

How many more days will be like this? How many more people will I be forced to kill?

This was the first battle where I truly felt no remorse for what I did. When I believed Silas to be dead, nothing mattered. Nothing mattered but getting justice and seeking revenge on those who had harmed him.

I never understood Silas better than after this battle. I burned a whole wing in this place, rendered unhabitable until further notice. Bodies went up in flames, turning into piles of bones in seconds. I did this all like it was nothing . All because I thought I'd lost him.

I didn' t wish to think about what any of it meant. I didn't wish to think about my words to him.

I love you.

After drying my hair and slipping on one of the blouses that had been hung in the room, along with a pair of tight pants, I padded my way to the room I knew Torrin was occupying, wishing to see him. Roland was hanging with Hendry and Edmund, but I imagined I'd find him later tonight.

I gave it two knocks, and after a moment, the handsome, platinum-haired man pulled open the door.

He looked so much better now, all clean and in clothes that weren't tattered prison rags.

I smiled up at him softly, and he returned the gesture.

“Hey,” he murmured.

“Hey.” My grin grew. “You gonna let me in?”

His smile became coy as he laughed through his nose, stepping aside to let me amble into the room. On his nightstand was a bottle of whiskey, and beside it was a glass filled with the amber liquid, nearly empty.

He closed the door behind him, and instantly, the energy in the room shifted.

We stared at each other for a moment, and my lip wobbled before I quickly wrapped my arms around him, holding him close. He smelled just as I remembered…like cedar and a rainy morning.

Home.

“I have missed you so much,” I breathed, then pulled back to gaze into his eyes. “Gods, I want to stab you for leaving without a word.”

He held me close and let out a soft laugh. “I have missed you. Terribly. ”

“How could you leave, Torrin? After everything that happened, after what we said…”

Torrin’s jaw clicked, and he pulled back, looking back and forth between my eyes.

He didn’t want to say.

“Surely our tryst wasn’t that bad, was it?” I asked sheepishly.

To that, Torrin’s eyes widened, his face flushing. “It wasn’t bad at all .” His hands slid down my arms. “Which is why I had to leave, even if Igon hadn't encouraged me,” he admitted quietly.

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

He swallowed, my eyes flitting to his Adam's apple as the lump retracted. “My feelings for you grew too strong, Lena,” His arms fell back at his side. “You and Silas are fated for one another. Not you and me. And I couldn’t take it. Couldn’t take that it would never be me.”

“Torrin…” I shook my head, pinching the bridge of my nose.

He glanced away for a moment, then met my eyes with a half-smile. “You and Roland, huh?" he said, changing the subject. "That’s quite a surprise.”

My eyes widened, my face heating. “How…?”

Torrin tapped at his temple. “I heard his impure thoughts.” His hand dropped back to his side. “Silas also told me.”

My stomach flipped at the mention of Silas's name. I winced and sucked in my bottom lip. “Are you angry?”

A crease formed between his brows. “No, I want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

I shook my head. “You need to want yourself to be happy. You do everything for everyone else, Torrin.” I brought my hand to my chest. “ I should’ve been the one to leave Ames. That was your home. ”

He grasped my hands. “It was our home.” He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, and butterflies filled my stomach. “Plus,” he pulled away with a smile, “Igon would’ve told you to leave if it was meant to be you.”

I took in his face, his beautiful eyes and soft lips, his wispy hair and smooth skin. This man…this man who had always protected me. Always did what was best for the sake of the world and never for himself.

My words were just above a whisper. “Do you think he knew?”

I didn’t have to clarify the unspoken words. Did Igon know you would be enslaved?

Torrin's eyes dropped to the floor as he thought it over, and then they rose again to meet mine. A crease was between his brows as he said, “It is likely.”

“That fucking bastard,” I breathed, shaking my head and wrapping my arms around myself.

Torrin placed his hands on my shoulders, his scent reminding me of home as he stepped closer. “He wouldn’t do anything like that if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.”

“I am sick of this fate of the world bullshit,” I snapped.

“I found my parents, Lena.”

My rage instantly went out at Torrin’s broken smile.

“There is that, at least. It was not for nothing.”

My lip trembled, and I stepped closer, wrapping my arms around his waist, unable to keep my hands off of him. He held me back tightly.

“You need rest,” I whispered.

“ You need rest,” he countered.

I tilted my head back, angling it up to see the corner of his lip raised. And, without thinking, I pressed my lips against his .

He drew away quickly, leaving my embrace. “Lena—no.” He shook his head, but his eyes flitted to my mouth.

“I’m sorry.” I winced. “I just…I can't stop thinking about the last time I saw you.”

He slowly blinked, his hand lifting to brush his thumb along my cheek.

I want to feel you again.

After hearing my thoughts, he cursed softly, pressing his lips to mine. Our mouths opened, and our tongues began to trace. He tasted like mint and whisky. Torrin ran a hand through my hair, his other gripping my ass. I ran my hands up his chest and cupped his face.

He pulled away just enough to get a word in. “Lena,” he panted.

Then the door opened. I whirled to see Roland gaping at us. I quickly fixed my hair, and Torrin cleared his throat and moved his hand away from my ass.

A smirk crept over Roland’s face. “Getting frisky without me, Ginger Snap?” he leaned against the doorway.

“My apologies—” Torrin began. What he didn't know was that as much as Roland and I cared for one another, what we had between us was simply for fun.

Roland held up a bottle of wine in his hand. “Who wants to get drunk?”

Between the three of us, we were on our fourth bottle of wine. Roland wished to celebrate our win, and considering we had access to the royal cellars, we had a dangerous supply of alcohol. It was something worth celebrating, indeed. Still, my mind couldn’t escape the sight of so many lifeless faces.

I just wanted to drink and forget everything tonight.

After the battle, Silas wished to turn in early, understandably. We didn't speak after I gave him Saoirse's doll. The other couples, presumably, turned in as well. Roland wasn’t sure where Hendry went after their departure, but knowing him, he was probably off wooing some beautiful female. One of a more mature age.

My face felt flushed, and I didn’t know if it was from the alcohol or the unbearable desire I felt watching both Roland and Torrin as the three of us played cards on the rug in front of the bed. I had slept with both of these men. And sitting here, watching both of them lounging, drunk and laughing, I found myself imagining taking them both at the same time.

I shifted in my spot on the floor.

Gods…am I a whore?

Torrin’s drunken eyes went to mine, and a smile crept over his face.

“Are you saying you want both of us, Lena?”

My eyes were about to bulge out of my head. I placed my hand of cards on the ground and sipped my drink.

Roland gave me a sideways grin, his elbow resting on his one raised knee, his cheek sitting on his fist. His stare slid to Torrin. “What just happened?”

“Lena wishes to bed us both at the same time.”

I choked on my drink and whipped my head up. “Torrin!” I grabbed my stack of cards and tossed them at him, and both men laughed. “I do not wish to. I was just— ”

“Fantasizing, Ginger Snap?” His eyes went to Torrin, then back to me. “I’m down if you both are.”

My eyes widened and shot to Torrin, whose own face flushed. His eyes trailed down my body before looking at Roland.

All three of us were drunk and definitely not in the right headspace to be making a decision like this.

Torrin tried to hold in a smile as his eyes went back to mine.

Fuck, it’s up to me?

My eyes trailed over Roland’s biceps, his golden skin, then went Torrin’s muscular thighs, to his darkened eyes.

“What do you want, Lena?” Torrin asked softly.

I blinked, my vision slightly spinning. I was so intoxicated, yet so aroused. I pictured myself sucking on Torrin’s cock while Roland took me from behind. Then vice versa, visualizing Torrin sliding into my pussy while I swirled my tongue along Roland's length.

Torrin’s eyes widened briefly before he leaned over, brushing his lips against mine. His lips parted, and our tongues began to trace in slow, sexy circles. The flavor of the blackberry wine on his tongue was delightful.

I drew away just enough to glance at Roland, whose teeth were dragging across his bottom lip, his eyes heavy with desire. I gave him a soft smile, and his lip popped free from his teeth, a mischievous grin forming on his face.

Torrin pulled back enough to let Roland in as he crawled toward me. Roland held the back of my neck and dragged my mouth to his. We shared a few slow kisses before he trailed his lips down my neck.

I moaned softly, my eyes fluttering shut only for a moment before opening them to look at Torrin .

For a beat, I expected to see jealousy, but there was nothing but lust in his eyes. His stare flitted down, trailing to where Roland cupped my breast underneath my shirt.

Torrin inched forward as Roland kissed my neck and captured my lips with his. I moaned into his mouth as Roland teased my nipple with his fingers, sucking on the skin of my neck.

I ran my fingers through Torrin’s hair as I deepened our kiss, my other arm wrapping around Roland’s torso, holding him close.

Fuck…having these two men’s lips on me was driving me wild.

Roland’s lips pulled away from my neck, a naughty smirk on his face. “Let’s take this to the bed, shall we?”

Torrin removed his lips from mine with an equally devilish grin. I squealed as he lifted me, and the three of us rushed to the mattress. Roland threw off his shirt, revealing those delectable, tanned abs, while Torrin stood me in front of the bed, both men now standing before me. He smiled as he took off his shirt, and heat coursed through my body at the sight of him. At the reminder of our night together last year.

My eyes trailed to Roland, to those captivating hazel eyes. That beautiful smile. “You next, Ginger Snap.”

I bit back a smile, then began to unbutton my blouse. I pulled off the shirt, revealing a red lace bra.

“Fuck,” Torrin breathed, and I watched as Roland’s eyes darkened, his lips parting as they took in my heavy breasts.

I smirked as I craned my head upward to look at them both, and then I unbuttoned my pants, sliding them down my thighs and revealing the matching underwear. Roland had never seen this set before, considering I had found it in my room.

Roland wasted no time, unbuttoning his pants and sliding them down his strong legs, his erection springing free .

Torrin’s came down a moment later, and soon, both men were standing before me, completely naked. Roland’s eyes roamed over Torrin for a moment, and a flush crept up my cheeks at the thought of them being intimate together.

Torrin blushed.

“I don’t know if I am drunk enough for that.”

I laughed softly, my cheeks heating further, and I watched as Torrin silently relayed my thoughts to Roland. His hazel eyes widened before they slid to mine in amusement.

“Naughty girl.” He grinned, licking his lips. “Get on your knees.”

I obeyed. I bit my lip as I stared up at both men, their thick cocks looming above me. My eyes met Torrin’s, and I decided he deserved something first after all he’d been through…and because I missed him.

Torrin inhaled sharply as I slid my tongue along his shaft, then sucked his length into my mouth. His hand gently glided through my hair as I began to swirl my tongue along him, focusing my attention on the swollen head.

He released a soft moan, and I glanced up at him. His eyes became heavy, his mouth parting as he watched me.

My eyes slid over to Roland, a similar expression on his face as he stroked himself. The corners of his lips rose upward. “She’s excellent at that, isn’t she?”

Torrin let out a breathy laugh. “That she is.”

Their words sent heat between my legs. I continued to suck on Torrin, tasting the saltiness of his precum, before I eventually released him from my mouth and stroked him with my hand. His eyes rolled back, and I turned my attention to Roland, smiling and gesturing him over with my finger .

He rolled his lips inward, stepping forward as Torrin's hand went back to his side. I slid Roland's cock into my mouth next, slurping on him as I worked Torrin with my other hand.

Both of the men’s breathing was becoming labored as I drew out their pleasure. Roland gripped my hair forcefully and drove his hips deeper, hitting the back of my throat with every thrust. He groaned as his dick slid free, and I took a moment to catch my breath, saliva dripping down my face.

Torrin held my hand, halting my strokes, then lifted me into his arms. Roland hopped on the bed, remaining in a kneeling position, as Torrin sat me on the mattress.

“I need to see you,” he breathed as he reached behind me, unclasping my bra. My breasts spilled free, and Torrin cursed as he lowered me to my back.

Roland angled his cock down, and I resumed sucking on him just as Torrin kissed the sides of my breasts. My back arched when he captured one of my nipples in his mouth, flicking his tongue over the raised peak.

“Torrin,” I mumbled over Roland’s cock.

Torrin switched sides, giving equal affection to both breasts, before trailing his kisses lower. And lower.

“I can’t wait to watch him eat your pussy,” Roland murmured.

My half-lidded eyes shot up to see his playful smile. His thumb stroked my cheek as my tongue circled his tip.

It was so much fun having sex with Roland. He held no judgment. He was playful. While I knew he wasn’t in love with me, I knew he did love me. Just as I loved him.

Just as I loved Torrin .

Torrin yanked down my underwear, and all thoughts vanished the moment he pried open my legs and slid his warm, wet tongue along my center.

I cried out, my hand instinctively gripping his platinum locks, and sucked on Roland quicker as Torrin’s tongue teased my clit.

“Fuck…what a sight,” Roland moaned, his eyes dilating as he watched Torrin drag his tongue over my pussy, sucking each lip into his mouth.

Torrin continued his skillful strokes, lapping up my arousal. Every time his brown eyes met mine, watching me suck off Roland, my thighs clenched tighter around his head.

When he began thrusting his finger inside of me, I started to come undone.

“I’m going to come,” I panted, Roland’s cock popping free from my mouth. I stroked Roland with my hand and leaned up to watch. “Yes, just like that,” I cried.

Torrin lashed at my bundle of nerves, swirling his tongue rapidly, and I threw my head back, wailing in ecstasy as an orgasm rippled through me, my inner walls clenching around his finger.

As I was catching my breath, I ran my tongue along Roland’s length again.

More. I wanted more. I never wanted this moment to end.

“I get her ass, Brighthell,” Roland quipped. “But I’m feeling her wet cunt before that.”

Gods, the man was so vulgar. I loved it.

Torrin placed a light kiss on my thigh. “Turn around, baby,” Torrin demanded, and my sex throbbed.

I love it when you call me that.

Torrin’s face was flushed, and I wanted to pull him back between my legs at the sexy smile he gave .

But I got on all fours, facing Torrin, as Roland lined himself up with my entrance. My pussy was already soaked, and Roland slid in with ease, my body stretching to accommodate his size.

I cried out just as Torrin’s cock entered my mouth. The sensation of both men claiming me had another orgasm building inside me quickly. Roland was fucking me at the perfect pace; the sound of his skin slapping against mine only heightened my arousal. I gazed up at Torrin, smiling as I worked him.

“Look at how beautiful you are,” he whispered, stroking my cheek lovingly. “You take us both so well.”

My eyes rolled back as Roland's grip on my hips tightened, groans ripping from his throat as my tight heat sucked him in.

“I need to feel her,” Torrin respired.

Roland gave me a couple of harsh, deep thrusts before his dick slid out of me. Torrin's cock sprang free from my mouth, and he laid back on the bed as I straddled him. I lined him up with my entrance and moaned loudly as I sat, his entire length sliding up inside me.

Gods, you feel so damn good.

His strong hands roamed up my thighs before gripping my ass, stretching me for Roland. I was not expecting Roland to lean down and start lapping at my tight exit.

“Roland!” I exclaimed and made to move away, but Torrin held me firm.

“You’ll need it,” Torrin said softly, then pounded into me harder. The sensation of Torrin filling me and Roland’s tongue in forbidden places was driving me into a lust-driven frenzy.

“I can't wait to fill this ass,” Roland purred, then slapped my bottom hard before fucking the hole with his tongue.

“Oh, Gods,” I moaned, then began licking Torrin's throat. His answering groan rumbled in his chest, and I bounced up and down, savoring the sensation of his thickness impaling me while Roland buried his face between my ass.

As his tongue trailed up and down, I fixated on how close it was to Torrin’s cock.

“Would you like to see him lick me, Lena?”

"Fuck," I moaned against his neck. "Yes…yes…"

I knew Torrin had to be communicating with Roland telepathically, as Roland stopped just as Torrin told me to turn.

I lifted off his aching cock, both men's tips red and leaking, and rotated myself so my pussy was now hovering over Torrin’s face. My eyes blew wide when Roland smirked, bent down, and took Torrin’s cock into his mouth.

Just as Roland began sucking, Torrin groaned, his head falling back momentarily before lapping at my pussy once more.

Holy fuck. Roland was giving Torrin head.

Roland slid his tongue along Torrin’s shaft, collecting the precum on the tip, and gave me a mischievous smile. “Share him with me.”

Godsdamn.

I bit my lip, stifling a cry as Torrin slid two fingers inside me. I lowered my head, licking up his shaft while Roland did the same.

Our tongues would cross as we pleasured Torrin together, Roland pulling me into long, passionate kisses in between slow, slurpy sucks.

It was such an erotic sight, seeing this beautiful man with a cock in his mouth.

Roland gripped Torrin’s dick, angling it toward me. I slid my mouth over, taking all of him in my mouth, and my second orgasm rippled through me at the sight of Roland lowering his mouth, taking Torrin’s balls into his mouth .

Torrin moaned loudly, and I came as he fucked me with his fingers, screaming in bliss around his cock.

“ Fuck ,” Torrin breathed.

As I popped his dick out of my mouth, Roland dragged his tongue up one more time, Torrin’s cock twitching when Roland's tongue teased the tip one last time.

“Turn back around, Lena,” Roland ordered.

I did, meeting Torrin’s flushed face. I was breathless, high on the most salacious sex of my life.

I could sense his bashfulness, but I ran my fingers through his hair, leaning down to kiss him passionately.

That was so hot.

I tasted myself on his lips, on his tongue, just as I heard Roland spit, feeling his warm saliva spill down my ass. He then positioned himself as Torrin re-entered my pussy, spreading me with his fingers for Roland again.

“Fuck yeah, it was.”

Roland started to push inside my ass, and I winced at the pain.

“Have you done this before?” Roland asked gently.

I had a few times with Silas. But it had been over half a decade since. “Not for a very long time,” I admitted breathlessly.

“I’ll go slow,” he promised. “But if it’s too much, I’ll stop. Just say the word.”

I looked back at him, smiling softly, and he leaned down, kissing my back. He pushed in more, and I let out a soft whimper. Torrin began rocking his hips, the pleasure helping to blur the pain.

We kept at that, Torrin pleasing me as Roland got deeper and deeper. I felt so full, both their thick lengths spreading me.

I leaned down again, kissing Torrin slowly. Desperately.

I’ve missed you.

“I’ve missed you, too, baby.”

My moans grew louder, more needy, as Roland was nearly buried to the hilt. One thing I remembered from before was how intense my orgasms were whenever Silas fucked my ass, swirling his fingers over my clit as he did so. I could only imagine how outstanding the sensation would be with both holes filled.

“Godsdamn,” Roland growled. “You are so tight, Lena.”

I’d grown to love Roland’s nickname for me, but there was something about him calling me Lena, something more intimate about it that further stimulated me.

Both men were moaning, panting, breathing so heavily. I leaned up, my palms on either side of Torrin’s face, and he captured my breasts in his hands, guiding them both to his mouth as Roland gripped my hips, driving inside me quicker.

Torrin squeezed my breasts together, dragging his tongue from one nipple to the next, pushing his hips up as Roland held mine down.

I couldn’t take anymore. The pleasure rose and rose until I hit that peak. My pussy clenched, and I didn’t recognize the sounds that released from my lungs as I screamed, falling forward as Torrin wrapped his arms around me.

The men increased their thrusts until they got choppy, both of them groaning loudly as they spilled themselves inside of me.

I felt them both throbbing within me. Roland’s forehead was resting on my back as he caught his breath, Torrin’s arms falling slack at his sides.

“Holy fuck…” Roland sighed, pulling out of me slowly. I winced at the uncomfortable feeling, and then Torrin pulled himself out, too .

After a few more moments of regulating his breathing, Roland padded to the bathroom. I heard the sink turn on as he dampened a rag to clean me up.

I leaned up, my gaze flitting down to Torrin. Embarrassment started to rise inside me, as I imagine it did in him, too, but he only smiled, tucking my hair behind my ear.

Roland entered the room again, kissing my back softly before wiping my sex, then my ass. He dried me off after with a soft, dry towel.

I scooted off Torrin just as Roland collapsed on the bed. I, too, felt like I was going to pass out—we were all thoroughly spent.

Torrin chuckled, leaning up on his elbows. “You are not sleeping in here, Aubeze.”

Roland turned his head, narrowing his eyes at him. “That's the thanks I get for giving some amazing head?” he teased.

Torrin’s cheeks heated, his nervous eyes going to me as I spoke to him gently in his mind.

Have you done that before?

“Never.” He grinned. “I blame the alcohol and your naughty thoughts for corrupting me.”

“We all almost died today. I think it’s fine we live a little.” Roland yawned, sitting up in the bed before fetching his pants, stumbling a little.

I giggled. “You’re shit-faced,” I noted.

He threw me a lopsided grin over his shoulder as he slid his pants on. “And you’re not? Hm?”

I bit my lip, and he shook his head as he laughed softly.

“Well, I’m off to bed. Does Elowen make any hangover remedies? I think we’ll need them come morning. ”

Torrin ran his hand through his short hair. “I hope so. I have a feeling you’re right. My head is spinning.”

Roland chuckled. “Goodnight, you two.” He gave me a wink, then slipped out of the door, leaving just Torrin and me.

Suddenly, my nerves started to build. Thankfully, when I peered at Torrin, he offered me a kiss on the shoulder. Then, on the cheek.

But then he paused, and I could tell his posture stiffened. He took a shaky breath.

“This can’t happen again. Sex between us.”

My brows drew together, my arms instinctively covering my chest. “I don't understand…why? Did you not like it?”

“I did like it. But the problem is I like it too much. I like you too much. And I know, despite how much wild fun this was, that it is Silas you love.”

I went to protest, but he laughed through his nose.

“I know you love me, too. But it’ll always be him.”

I opened my mouth and shut it a few times, unsure of how to answer. “I just fucked the two of you, and you’re bringing up Silas?”

Torrin’s saddened eyes crushed me. “I can’t be like Roland, hooking up with no strings attached. No feelings. I care too much about you.” He stood from the bed, fetching loungewear from the dresser and slipping them up until they rested along his narrow hips.

“You won’t leave again, will you?” I asked quietly, dread overcoming me. “I can’t lose you again.”

He paused before me, running his hand through my messy hair. “No, Lena. I will stay. I promise. ”

My eyes fell, and I nodded. Then, I stood, slipping back on my underwear, then bra, then outfit. Buttoning my pants proved difficult, and I realized just how tipsy I really was.

I was hurt he didn't wish to sleep beside one another, but I also understood.

Before I exited the room, I hugged him tightly, resting my cheek along his bare chest. “I'm so happy you're okay. I'm so grateful you're here.”

“I still can't believe I'm free.” He pulled away, eyes shining with unreleased tears. “I will always be in debt to you for that.”

My hand slid down to his, holding the one with the burn scars. I ran my thumb along the imperfect skin. “I am the one in debt to you.”

I wanted to kiss him, but I refrained, letting my arm fall before slipping out of his room.

As I was walking toward my room, the hallway spinning, my drunken thoughts plagued me.

I had sex with Roland and Torrin. At the same time. Together.

Roland sucked Torrin’s dick. I sucked it with him.

I rubbed my collarbones. It was fun. Really fun. But I couldn’t help but notice the emptiness I felt now.

How could you make love to two people and feel so damn lonely afterward?

Roland only wanted fun, and don't get me wrong, he was fun. And Torrin, despite everything, would never accept being with someone who was Soul-Tied to someone else.

I never could have what I once did…and it killed me.

Just as I was almost to my room, a door to my right opened, and Silas wandered out .

Silas.

Guilt washed over me. Shame.

What would he think if he knew what I just did? Would he be disappointed? Repulsed?

I bit my lip to prevent it from trembling and quickly averted my gaze as I continued forward.

I knew we weren’t together anymore, so why was I feeling like I’d betrayed him?

“Lena?”

I froze but didn’t turn around. “Yes?” I whispered.

Silas’s hand gently grasped my arm, and I turned toward him. He frowned, his golden eyes searching my flushed face.

It was just past 1:00 a.m. Why was he up?

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” I croaked. Gods, I couldn’t even pretend to be sober. I didn’t want to think of my messy hair or my potentially smudged makeup. I hoped to the Gods he couldn’t tell what I’d done.

Tears burned in my eyes as I gazed at him. The man I loved more than anything.

Torrin was right.

Damn him for being right.

The sex had been a distraction, a delightful distraction, but like always, the second I saw Silas, my heart sank. Memories of our times together flooded my brain.

Sex with Silas was different. I felt complete when I’d been with him. Cherished. Understood. I felt calm and wild at the same time, worshipped and desired.

I felt loved.

He had always made me feel loved.

My Soul-Tie .

I could never be content without him. I knew this now for certain.

I loved Torrin. I loved Roland. But that love wasn’t like my love for Silas. It couldn’t compare, no matter how badly I wanted it to.

He continued to study me, worry etching his features. “I can tell when you’re lying.” His words set a few tears free, and anger filled his eyes. “Did someone hurt you?” he pressed.

“No.” I shook free of his grasp. “Leave me alone,” I muttered. I didn’t wish to be mean to him, but if he continued, I would break down in this hallway.

I clumsily turned and continued to my room. He followed behind.

“Leave me, Silas. Please.” My voice broke as I grasped my room's doorknob.

“You’re drunk,” he commented, placing a hand over mine. My eyes went to his. “Lena, talk to me.”

My lip trembled, and I opened my door. “I don’t want to. Please, go.”

The face he gave me shattered my heart, and then he just nodded. “Goodnight, Lena...”

Then he left. I collapsed on my bed, too wasted to even take my shoes off, and softly cried myself to sleep.