Page 2 of The Sins of Silas (The Otacian Chronicles #2)

Chapter Two

LENA - NOW

“ L ena, ” a woman spoke in my head, and I fell to my knees at the sound of Kayin’s voice. “We have work to do. ”

My heart was thumping with intensity. I gripped the blades of grass beneath my fingers as if somehow it would help ground me in this moment.

Kayin? Is that really you?

I hadn’t spoken to or heard from the mysterious seer in over half a decade—the evening before Queen Ryia La’Rune’s assassination. So many questions drummed around in my head, and all I could do was quickly begin listing them.

Where have you been all this time?

Where are you now?

Were you involved in the Queen's murder?

Just as I was about to ask if she knew where Torrin was, she spoke. Her voice was weaker, more feeble, than I remembered .

“There is much I wish I could tell you, Lena. But I can’t.” She drew in a long breath. “It has taken me great effort to contact you. It’s…” She exhaled in relief. “It’s so good to hear your voice.”

She sounded so defeated. Broken. Nothing like the upbeat woman I communicated with for so long.

Are you okay?

Her voice broke as she replied, “No. I am not.”

The beating in my heart quickened, and I swallowed the unpleasant lump in my throat.

Tell me what I need to do.

She was breathing heavily now. “You are with the Prince, yes?”

I am.

“Good.” Kayin choked on a cough. “I can’t speak for much longer—our connection isn’t strong from this far away.”

Where are you, Kayin?

It was silent for a few moments. “I am in Otacia.”

My eyes enlarged, and I scrambled up from my place on the ground.

“Otacia?!” I exclaimed out loud. "Are you a prisoner?”

“Do not worry about me,” she insisted. “Our paths shall cross when the time is right.” There was a brief pause. “What did Igon tell you before he died?”

I couldn’t help but notice the sorrow in her voice as she uttered that out. I still didn’t know how the two knew each other.

“He told me he sent Torrin away…” I whispered. “Then told me to find you, to find Oquerene.”

I was talking to myself, pacing back and forth like a maniac. If anyone were watching me, they’d surely think I had lost my mind.

“You needn’t worry about finding me. Not yet. Did he give you a message of some sort? ”

I frowned as I recalled his cryptic words. “Yes…he said, ‘Only through fire can the phoenix be reborn from the ashes’ …whatever that means.”

She groaned in frustration.

I nervously drummed my fingertips on my legs. “What is it?”

“I don’t get visions like I used to…hardly get them at all anymore. The Queen’s necklace, do you still have it?”

I blinked and glanced down, beholding the diamond and sapphire necklace lying against my collarbones. I ran my fingers along the delicate gems, the stones glimmering in the moonlight.

“I do…why?” I asked slowly.

“That necklace will give you the answers you need…everything…everything will make sense.”

“How would a necklace provide answers?” I questioned skeptically. I felt panic rising within me at her silence. “Kayin, you’re scaring me…” I breathed. “Are you in danger?”

“I will talk to you again in time,” she claimed. “Get to Nereida. You will find answers.”

I halted my pacing.

“Wait! Do you know where Torrin is?” I blurted out, hope and dread blooming in my chest at the possibility of answers. “He left last year without a word, though apparently Igon is the one who sent him away.”

There was a delay. “You’ll cross paths with Torrin again soon.” She was quiet for a beat longer beforeshe whispered, “I am so sorry for what happened to you, Lena.”

As quickly as Kayin’s voice filled my head, she was gone—nothing audible but the hushed nighttime breeze on this mountaintop .

Kayin…why now after all this time? And how the hell was she speaking to me from all the way in Otacia?

I pinched the bridge of my nose, loosening an aggravated breath.

Igon had refused to offer up much information about her. He had just sworn she was as trustworthy a Mage as they come, and as a seer, keeping her identity unknown was imperative. There was so much I needed to ask her about, and yet, try as I might to communicate, the connection had just…vanished.

And she must’ve seen what happened to me…with Rurik…

I clutched my chest as I attempted to calm my breathing, the wind doing little to relieve the sweat now dripping from my forehead.

Do not think about it. Do not think about it.

I took a few shaky breaths, willing my tears to stay put. I didn’t wish to think of it, certainly not right now when so many were counting on me. I didn’t want to be reminded of what those monsters put me through. Reminded of the utter helplessness I felt.

I am alive.

They are gone.

They aren’t here.

I am safe.

I couldn’t think about it, not now. I needed to focus on saving my people; my trauma could be dealt with later.

They are gone.

They aren’t here.

I am safe.

I spent a few minutes collecting myself, rubbing my arms in a comforting motion. I used that time to shove my emotions—my memories—into a bottle .

I am safe.

I am safe.

I am safe.

Once I felt composed enough, I slowly started back for camp, feeling even more exhausted after that altercation.

Then, like always, my mind drifted to Silas.

“I cannot bear your kindness. Do not give it to me.”

What, did he wish for me to be a raging bitch to him? Did he truly desire hostility? Or perhaps indifference?

How would that help us work toward a better future, considering the animosity he had felt for my people his entire life?

I still felt bitterness, considering all he had done.

Silas, The Witch Slayer.

I had heard stories passed around fires over the years…stories that, once they got gruesome, sent me evacuating to someplace silent.

I never wished to hear those tales. I still didn’t. I couldn’t picture the man I had loved, the man I knew better than anyone, committing such atrocities. Even after seeing him all these years later, seeing how cold he had become, I still couldn’t envision even a fraction of the details I’d heard.

As I made it back, I took in the multiple campsites set up along the top of Mount Rozavar, the mountain weather-controlled by magic.

The fire around our small group was still crackling, and Edmund peered up from examining his new leg, now made of enchanted carbonado, to give me a small smile. Elowen was sitting beside him on a log, marveling at his new arm.

The metal, veiny-like material was…outlandish. Extraordinary .

“Thank you again, Lena. Just…thank you,” he said with a peaceful grin as I passed by. The flames made his blond waves appear even more golden as they lay against his forehead.

I simply returned his smile, giving him a slight nod, and went to sit beside Merrick on the opposing log across the fire. He was glowering at the two of them, and they were either choosing to ignore him or were so lost in each other that they hadn’t noticed him staring.

Roland was sharpening a dagger while talking to Hendry, Viola was off who knows where scouting the skies in bird form to see if any Otacians were near, and I didn’t wish to know where the Prince and his wife were.

Those lounging around the flames were spaced far enough away that they couldn’t hear Merrick and me speaking. “You could tone down that grimace, you know. You’re going to scare off the poor children,” I teased lightly.

The handful of Mage children that had traveled on this journey were giggling and dashing around the warm mountaintop, chasing fireflies and capturing them with their magic in little bubbles. If they caught Merrick’s twisted face, I had a feeling their stomachs would plunge. He could be unsettling when he wished to be.

Merrick snorted, his expression softening. I set my hand on his shoulder and leaned in close.

“You will never guess who just spoke to me,” I whispered in his ear.

I felt him tense, and he turned to look at me, his icy blue eyes turning nearly black—the color they always turned when he read someone’s emotions. Sometimes, he used it to detect if someone was lying or to see if someone’s emotions matched up with their words. But usually, he just used it to understand others better.

“Torrin?” he breathed.

I shook my head. “Kayin.”

His eyes enlarged as he loosened a breath. “Well?” he pressed. “What did she say?”

I let out a humorless laugh through my nose. “Nothing much. She asked if the Prince was here, told me—”

Shit. I can’t tell him about the Queen’s necklace.

I cleared my throat as my hand slipped from his shoulder and back to my side. “She told me she was in Otacia, and while it wasn't confirmed that she was a prisoner, she told me she was not okay.” My eyes fell, and I nervously picked at my nails as I sat down beside him. “She also told me we would meet again in time…Torrin and I.”

“That’s partly good news, I suppose.” Merrick shifted next to me, dragging his teeth along the hooped piercing that wrapped around his bottom lip. “None of this is mere coincidence…does she want us to find her?”

I shook my head again, chewing on the inside of my cheek. “No. She told me to head to Nereida. I didn’t even mention the place to her.” I gave Merrick a weak smile. “At least that’s a sign we’re doing one thing right.”

Merrick’s eyes faded back to icy blue as he studied me. “I trust you, Lena.” The corner of his lip crept upward. “It is good she is alive, yes? It’s been so long.”

“It has…” I angled my head and marveled at the night sky. It really was beautiful up here. I could understand why Immeron chose this place over Ames. The lack of light pollution made the stars all the more visible .

It reminded me of when I was little. I'd struggled with nightmares before we had found our home in Otacia, the fear of my power a constant source of paranoia, even more so in unfamiliar territories. I remember one of our blankets had been eaten up by a pack of moths, causing little holes to form in the fabric. Mother, being the creative woman she was, added more—hundreds of tiny little holes. She scooped me up in her arms, tossing the blanket above us and enclosing us underneath.

The warm light in the room we were staying in at the time had filtered through those tiny tears. “See, it's like the night sky!” she had said, and it really was. I felt safe with her beneath the stars.

“Count them, Lena. Count the stars.”

I'd fallen asleep in her arms as I counted, finally resting soundly through the night.

Tears began welling in my eyes as they trailed over to Mother's sleeping figure. I would be leaving her for the first time in my life come morning. But she would be safe up here.

She would be safe.

“I never mentioned something to you,” I lowered my voice, meeting Merrick's eyes.

He frowned, eyes swirling dark once more. I scooted closer to him and went in to whisper again. I ignored Merrick’s scent, or at least tried to. Somehow, he always smelled like fresh snow. Perhaps it was from his continuous use of ice magic.

“Igon gave me a message before he died. ‘Only through the fire can the phoenix be reborn from the ashes.’” I searched his eyes. “Does that mean anything to you? I can’t comprehend what he meant by it.”

Merrick pondered momentarily as Silas and Erabella returned from wherever they had been. My eyes scanned the pair, and I tried my best to ignore their slightly disheveled hair and the subtle flush to their cheeks. Silas wouldn’t meet my eyes.

I felt my fire rising, and my eyes averted to the ground.

Calm the flames, Lena.

I felt Merrick tense as well, and when I glanced at him, his darkened eyes were on the two of them. Before he could question me—because I knew like an idiot my emotions soared just now—I pressed, “Well?”

The wind blew his silver-white hair, currently unbound and falling just past his chest. His eyes were narrowed, planted on the ground for only a moment longer before his eyes returned to normal. “No. I…I don’t understand it one bit.” He crossed his arms as he gazed into the fire.

Silas and Erabella spoke quietly to their men before situating themselves in their shared bedroll. Still, Silas avoided eye contact with me.

“He spoke to me in my mind, Merrick.”

Merrick whirled at me, his eyebrows raising.

“Right before he died, Igon spoke to me in my mind. I don’t know how.”

His jaw clicked, and as my head began to fall, he softly tilted my chin so my eyes could meet his. “I am sure you aren’t meant to figure it all out right now.” He let go of my chin and patted my shoulder. “Rest. Don’t stress all that needs to be figured out—easier said than done, I know.” He gave me a lopsided grin. “But get some rest. Tithara only knows when we will be able to get some again.”

Wasn’t that the truth…

“You should get some then, too,” I suggested .

His smile faltered. “I will.” His eyes shot to Edmund, who was now holding Elowen’s hand as he beamed at her. “Once I know that bastard isn’t going to sneak off with my sister.”

I laughed through my nose as I stood, about to make my way to my own bedroll. “I’ve never seen you so overprotective, Merrick.”

“I’ve never seen Elowen…” he began, then sighed, looking at me over his shoulder with a small smile. “Goodnight, Lena.”

“Goodnight.” I looked back for just another moment, catching the sight of Elowen giggling at something Edmund said, him watching her as if she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

Soul-Ties.

My traitorous eyes shifted to my apparent mate. His eyes were closed, his wife tucked into his side.

I felt that pang of pain in my chest again and didn’t feel it ease up, even as I stared off into the stars, even as I drifted to sleep.