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Chapter twenty-six

I spent the next few days focusing on training with Loughlan and Nessy—who were every bit as awkward as they were on the day of the meeting, if not more.

But while I was able to distract myself during the day, I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing onto my pillowcase at night.

The fact that Aedon wasn’t there to lie beside me—that each day I awoke was another day he wasn’t alive—hit me now more than ever.

It was an effort not to ignore Nessy’s glares and unpulled punches during our training. I succeeded merely because I focused on plotting my revenge for Katryn.

Nickolai had practically disappeared—not that I was looking for him.

I wanted nothing to do with him. But it was hard not to notice his absence, especially when worry began to eat away at my stomach.

No matter how much I hated him for all that he had said and done, I couldn’t help but feel a damned pull to him.

Which had a four-letter word popping into my head.

One that would have been unthinkable before my change—that I didn’t want to even think of now.

Mate.

Training came with some new challenges, such as figuring out how to fight with the new size of my body.

I found myself lying on the mat multiple times, staring up at Nessy, who had a smug smile on her face.

My anger, from her arrogance along with Nickolai’s words constantly repeating in my mind, had me training for hours longer than I should have.

One thing that worked to my advantage was my speed.

While I was fast as a human, with the added benefit of being fae, I was now faster than Nessy.

By the end of the third day, I was able to execute what would have been a killing blow to her—if I’d used my full strength—that instead knocked her on her ass. And the smug look was wiped from her face, replaced with pink cheeks and flared nostrils.

Loughlan chuckled from the side of the square marked upon the mat before stepping up to help Nessy to her feet.

She shoved away his hand and jumped up before rapidly stalking off to the showers.

There was a flicker of hurt that crossed Loughlan’s face before he covered it up with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Although both Loughlan and Nessy had been acting differently, he at least still made an effort to be nice.

He clapped his hands together once. “Well, it looks like that’s it for the day!”

I shook my head, panting, “I’m not done, I need to go for another run.” This time, concern crossed his face, which he didn’t bother to hide.

“Mira. . . you should give yourself a break.”

“Can’t,” I replied as I turned toward the door.

He reached a hand out to my arm, and I paused to glare at him. At the look on my face, he immediately dropped his hold and said, “No good will come from you pushing yourself like this.” I chose to ignore him, keeping my focus on the task ahead. He didn’t try to stop me for a second time.

Once the light breeze of fall hit my skin, I broke out into a sprint. The skies had started to become cloudier with the seasons changing, adding to the coldness and earlier nights. Even with my skin being hot from the workout, I almost wished for additional layers.

Ever since I’d changed, I’ve been searching for that stitch that would dig into my side and nearly make me puke in pain, but to no avail. Something about my new body had me withstanding the torture I put it through with ease. But I still hoped, that with each turn of the corner, it would return.

As I rounded what I’d determined to be the last lap of my run, my feet halted at the sight of Katryn with the two usual girls beside her, whom I’d come to find out were Della and Mary. Which one was which? Well, I doubted even Katryn knew that.

I quickly ducked behind one of the pillars lining the outdoor corridor, peeking around it to watch them.

I could just make out the details of their dresses and it took an embarrassingly long time for me to remember that I was fae.

At the realization, I started to strain my ears, hoping beyond hope that whatever I was doing would work as I tried to search through the loudness of the chirping birds around me for their shrill voices.

I had yet to try out most of my heightened abilities. The increased speed came easily to me, especially during fights, but extending my hearing proved to be far more difficult.

While some of the rooms throughout the castle were supposed to be warded from sound, my ears picked up talking, moaning, and many other noises that I didn’t want to decipher. Each new sound filtered in and out until at last, their conversation came through.

“-he should’ve gotten rid of her,” said the girl that I decided to give the title of Della.

“He is too nice for that. That is why we are perfect for each other, because I step up in the areas he lacks,” Katryn said, laughing with the nasally sound that had my ears nearly bleeding.

“I can’t believe he is going to propose! Your wedding is going to be so perfect,” Mary exclaimed, grabbing onto Katryn's arm.

Propose?

Katryn hastily shoved her off before lifting her chin to say with confidence, “I know it will be. The former queen says I have excellent taste.” Either they were off in fantasy land, or they knew something I didn’t.

The two women fell back in line behind Katryn, a dejected look on Mary’s face as they rounded the corner, continuing their stroll to the gardens and out of my earshot.

Their words pulled at the strings in my chest. There was no way he would marry someone like her unless it was to hurt me. Which at this point was a very good possibility. But there was one thing that I knew for sure. . . she wasn’t going to be making it to her wedding day.

I spent the rest of the day discreetly searching for the things I needed to execute my plan. One to exact my revenge on Katryn for not only picking a fight with me but for destroying some of the very few things I had left of my son.

I had tried to warn her, but unfortunately for her, she was someone who would never stop. Never settle for not getting what she wanted. Leaving me one choice.

To kill her.

It was not going to be a quick death. Oh no, I was going to make sure she suffered. I want to hear her whimpering, begging me for mercy. I want to make her feel at least an ounce of the pain that her actions have caused me.

After a long and fruitful search in the library, I was able to get the information I needed before gathering a few necessary supplies, saving the best piece for last—bitter terragon.

A rare herb found at high elevations, bitter terragon is known to act as a paralytic to some of the strongest creatures, including fae.

And I knew exactly where to find it that didn’t require me to climb a mountain.

A place that would need to have a paralytic on hand for a strong beast.

The dungeons.

Sitting in my room with my ear pressed to the door, I waited for what felt like hours for the castle to quiet.

Keeping myself distracted only with the soothing motion of sharpening my sword.

From what I could make out with my new hearing, almost everyone had gone to bed, most of them to sleep.

Leaving two guards on this floor—beside my personal guard.

Fortunately, one thing I did have going for me was my tendency to wander down to the kitchens at night.

Pushing off the ground and onto my feet, it was hard not to notice how much easier it was getting for me to move. I’d been trying to ignore the fact that I was a completely different person—out of fear of how I might act the moment I began to realize that my life would never again be the same.

I tucked Airmathair away into its sheath—the weight of it on my hip making me feel centered.

With a deep breath, I opened the heavy door to my room and left the space that Katryn had ruined for me.

The new guard stood straighter as I came out into the hall and I tossed him a nod as I walked by—which he returned before focusing his gaze once again on the wall.

The other guards kept their eyes on me while I made my way to the stairs—like they had done before.

But this time it made me feel uneasy, as if they knew that I wasn’t looking for food.

It didn’t take me long to make my way down to the kitchens, where from that point forward my directions stemmed from a small map image I’d seen in a book earlier.

My heart was pounding out of my chest with adrenaline.

I’d made up an excuse, just in case I was caught, but it didn’t stop the fear from seeping in.

I ran my hand along the stone wall that started after the kitchen doors—each rectangle sticking out a different amount.

One. Two. Three. I counted the doors, each one marking my path. I was looking for the fourth door on the right, one that was supposed to open up to a spiral staircase leading down to the dungeons.

Four. Five. Six.

I was at the end, standing before the large arched window that illuminated the hall. Three doors on each side, with space for a fourth door on the right side.

I scanned down the hall, checking to see if anyone followed me—it was empty. But even with the relief, I was still on edge. My gaze caught on the sconces that lined the wall, housing small flames in each one, resulting in the bizarre idea of a possible secret door to enter my mind.

I started with the closest, pulling on it like a lever. Nothing. I went through each one, and each time I was let down. There had to be a way in. Imelda had talked about hearing the beast in the dungeons, and where there was a place, there had to be an entrance.