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Chapter eighteen

I awoke the next morning to a pounding on my door followed by shouts from Loughlan. Jumping up out of bed, I barely had time to get my robe on before his shouts became more concerned. I’d narrowly opened the door in order to keep him from knocking it down before he came barreling through.

“What?” I hissed.

He didn’t miss a beat as he recovered, his eyes narrowing at me in response. “You’re late.”

I turned and looked out the windows, finding the sun to be closer toward it's apex rather than the crest of the mountain range. Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I faced back to Loughlan, mumbling, "Ugh, I overslept."

“Well hurry up and get ready,” he grumbled, walking back out into the hall.

I narrowed my eyes at him. I was so not in the mood to deal with another egotistical male attitude, especially after yesterdays meeting.

Without thinking, I blurted, “You know blue balls can leave permanent damage, might wanna get those checked out before you piss off everyone in the castle.” His jaw clenched in irritation, but before he could respond, I shut the door in his face to get ready.

Soon a thin-strapped tunic and pants framed my body, and I rejoined him out in the hall. He didn’t say anything as we made our way outside and by the time our feet hit the gravel, there was enough guilt stacked up in my stomach that it influenced me to stop him from beginning the run.

“Look I’m sorry, tomorrow I’ll be here bright and early.”

He shook his head, “I get that Nickolai is an ass—believe me, I grew up with him—but you need to take your anger out on the run, and do it right. Which means making sure you stop when your body tells you to. So if you’re truly sorry, then make sure you don’t puke today.”

I nodded, accepting his blunt words, and we began the run at a slow pace—letting our legs get adjusted to the movement. My muscles strained from all the exertion I put them through yesterday, but we eventually settled on a steady pace that I was able to hold.

Lap after lap we went around with Loughlan giving me multiple sideways glances before at last he spoke, “We are going to sprint the rest of the way, tell me if you need to stop.”

I nodded again and he picked up the pace—the feeling I’d been searching for all morning returning to me instantly.

The pain and guilt dulled for a short time as my body became overwhelmed from the exercise, and the relief I felt from it had tears springing to my eyes.

I pushed them down, not wanting to cry yet again, but to just bask in the feeling.

When we rounded the last corner, I felt the bile lift from my stomach and burn the back of my throat.

Part of me wanted to push through since the end was within sight, but I knew it would no doubt end with me puking.

Giving up, I reached out and let my finger graze Loughlan on the side of his arm as I brought myself to a stop.

He was by my side in the next second while I rested my hands on my knees and gulped down each breath of air through the stitch in my side.

With each passing minute, the nausea began to dissipate along with the ringing in my ears, becoming replaced by an annoyingly nasal laugh.

Looking up, my gaze landed on Katryn surrounded by two other women who were each glancing in my direction—mocking my actions.

Their attention had the bile rising up once more.

“I need to go inside,” I rushed between breaths.

Loughlan looked up and noticed what had started to send me back into a spiral. His muscles tensed, causing his wings to tuck in slightly, and before I knew what was happening, he was shouting, “If you ladies have nothing better to do, then maybe I should make you run laps!”

They immediately stopped laughing, collectively having a startled look on their faces. Each of them turned and rushed away quicker than mice being caught in a kitchen—the skirts of their dresses swishing loudly as they moved—evoking a wide smile on my lips.

My breathing started to slow, and when I was able to speak more clearly, I said, “Thank you.”

He shook his head with a grunt, “I hate those girls. They’re always starting shit around here.”

“So who do you have your eyes on?” I questioned as I stood up—wiggling my eyebrows at him.

Pinkness spread across his cheeks underneath the stubble that tried to hide most of it, and he shook his head, “No one.”

“You’re such a liar,” I declared.

Loughlan didn’t bother with a response as we made our way inside to do some stretches and exercises.

New aches began to form on my muscles over the ones that still clung to me from yesterday, and before I knew it, Nessy was joining us in the gym.

She and I spent over an hour working on moves that left me knocked on my ass twice and her almost getting knocked down once.

I would’ve fallen a lot more had I not been able to center myself and keep my footing.

So it was at least somewhat of a win for me.

We finally stopped when I was able to block one of her attacks and successfully counter it with my own.

Leaving me absolutely exhausted once again.

But even though my muscles ached all over, a smile was glued to my face at the sight of the progress I was able to make between the two days of training.

It had been such a long time since I’d trained, I had almost forgotten how much I enjoyed the rush of watching the daily progress.

“Feel like joining us for dinner tonight?” Nessy panted as we walked to the locker room.

I internally cringed at the idea of sitting through dinner with Nickolai, especially after what he said in the meeting. “I don’t know,” I hesitated.

“Think about it. The offer is always there,” she reassured.

I wasn’t sure what to say, so I opted to say nothing.

It wasn’t like she, or Loughlan, or even Zeke was the problem.

It was Nickolai and the fact that he was suddenly acting like I hadn’t been clear with him from the very beginning.

If he got his hopes up that there could be something between us again, then that was his fault.

Just like it’s my fault for thinking about him every fucking second of the day.

I allowed myself to spend way too much time in the ice baths before finally deciding to go back to my room for a change of clothes.

But my smile quickly disappeared when I started up the stairs and familiar skirts appeared before me.

I looked up to find Katryn and the other two girls blocking my path, each one of them with a different look of disgust. Up close, I could see that Katryn had light green and blue eyes, but even those couldn’t hide the hideousness within her.

Doing my best to keep as much dignity as possible, I leveled my gaze—unwilling to show any more weakness in front of her. “Excuse you, you’re in my way,”I said coolly.

Katryn scoffed, “Who do you think you’re talking to?”

“The king’s whore,” I replied with a shrug.

Her features tensed. “More like the future queen.”

I barked a laugh, “I’m sorry, is it too late to change my answer? You must be the king’s jester.”

She pointed a finger in my face. “You stay away from him.”

Something in me snapped at the command and left me asking, “Or what?”

“Or you will be receiving more than just an envelope.”

Wicked evil coursed through me at the threat, getting excited with the challenge.

I leaned in so her finger almost touched my nose, and with eager-crazed eyes said, “I would love to see you try.

" Standing straight again, I said with tone that I've never spoken before, "You know, I recently got this gorgeous new knife. From Nickolai himself, in fact. And I think it would look so much better with your blood on it.” Her mouth opened in shock and I reached out to graze her face with the back of my finger. “It would be a shame to damage such a face. . . but don’t worry, when I’m done you will finally look pretty.”

She recoiled from my touch with a sneer, and a cruel smile split my mouth as I watched her move around me, responding with, “You’re a freak.”

Turning back around, I went to at last go up the stairs but stopped once again, this time at the sight of Nickolai, who looked a mixture of both smug and in awe.

I didn’t bother acknowledging him any further other than noticing his presence.

He most likely thought that the exchange with Katryn and me was a fight over him when, in reality, I just couldn’t stand girls like her.

Especially ones that thought they could threaten me.

Continuing to my room, I changed into a simple blue dress with my sword attached to my hip before going out in search of the heavy wooden doors of the library.

A hint of fresh paint filled the air as I walked into the bright, expansive room, giving away the scent of the recent construction that I hadn't noticed before.

Shelves hosting thousands of books lined the walls around the large C-shaped desk in the center that opened up in the back to the massive windows, allowing rays of light to fill the space.

There were only a few white-robed scholars scattered throughout what I could see of the first and second floors, with two stationed at the desk.

One appeared to be an older fae man while the other was a younger woman who wore her hood up—leaving only the ends of her brown curly hair to show.

The man, did not wear a hood, which showed off his wrinkled skin and silver locks of hair braided away from his face.

He was the only one to look up as I approached, his facial expression resting in a dour look that did not match his aroma of ripe fruit.

I pasted a polite smile on my face in greeting, even though it wasn’t returned, and cleared my throat. “I’m looking for some books on the history of Sedovia. Can you point me in the direction of where to look?”