Page 13

Chapter eight

A ir rushed in and out of me with each push of my legs off the ground.

Trees surrounded by purple and gold flowers swaying in the breeze were as far as the eye could see—no soft brown hair.

I screamed his name over and over, continuing my search.

He has to be here. He has to. Wetness coated my cheeks as the ground began to shake, and I heard the distorted voice at last.

“Mira! Mira, wake up!”

—

My eyes flew open, frantically searching as screams still poured from my mouth.

Ysabel was shaking me awake, with Sigric and a ruffled Loughlan behind her.

My whole body quaked while sob after sob barreled out of me.

I buried my head between my knees, my hands set on the back of my neck, as I tried to take breaths that felt like they were only partially filling my lungs.

“I’ve got her, you guys go,” Ysabel said while gently rubbing my back.

I caught a glance of Sigric putting the room key back on the belt around his waist as they promptly turned around and left.

Ysabel walked over to the breakfast cart by the door, grabbing me a glass of water that I sipped hesitantly, unsure if the bile in my throat was going to make an appearance or not.

After a few heartbeats, my crying subsided and my breathing returned to normal.

Sitting beside me on the bed, she asked, “Are you feeling better?”

I shook my head and looked at the brown, green, and gold irises on her face. Seeing her concern in them sent another wave of pain through me. My chin quivered and I couldn’t hold back the second round of tears as I croaked, “I want it to stop.”

She placed her hand over mine that now rested on my knee.

There was a long pause of silence only stopped by her sudden deep breath, “A while back. . . I lost my husband. And it felt like everyone kept moving forward in their lives, while mine was paused. I didn’t know how to go on without him.

. . still don’t. My chest ached more than I could ever attempt to put into words, and it hurt to breathe the air that didn’t have his scent.

One day we were discussing what we would name our children, and the next. . .”

She paused, clearing her throat, which did nothing to help the quiver in her voice, “He was sailing to Ylouver for the king—but the ship was lost at sea.” Tears broke through her control.

She wiped them away with a free hand and took a calming breath.

“It’s been two years and I still feel the need to pause for some fresh air, hoping each time that his scent will fill it—It doesn’t ever stop.

The loss will hit you time and time again, but eventually they come fewer and farther between. ”

“It hurts.”

“I know,” she replied, giving my hands a squeeze.

I rested my head on her shoulder while matching tears slid down our cheeks.

I felt the pain all too well, burdened with grief from the love I found after Nickolai.

We didn’t say anything more, didn’t need to, as we shared our sorrows for ourselves and the other through folded hands.

Pausing together.

The impending meeting that morning had us eventually getting up to get me ready for the day.

Clad in a long-sleeved tan tunic tucked into a blue skirt that started at my waist and ended at my shins, showing off some of the knee-high brown leather boots, and with Airmathair swinging at my hips, Sigric took me to the war room.

The two men standing guard opened the doors as we appeared, leaving me to only need to walk the few remaining steps into the lion's den, where I wasn’t sure I could withstand the battle within.

After a moment, I built up the needed strength, clinging onto the red mist within me as I put one foot in front of the other.

Inside was Nickolai, Loughlan, the man with dark wavy hair, and a woman dressed in tight leather pants and an armored corset gathered around the end of a large table.

Each man dressed casually in various colors of tunics and pants.

A slight glimpse of a scar caught my eye as it peeked out from Nickolai’s unlaced neckline.

The woman and Loughlan were amidst an argument that immediately stopped as I entered.

“Good morning, Tiny,” Nickolai greeted with a smirk, last night’s anger dissipated.

His scan of me stopped at the redness that I knew was still around my eyes.

Eyebrows pinching together slightly as his smirk disappeared.

“You know Loughlan,” he said, clearly choosing to either ignore his observation or to ask at another time—I hoped for the former.

Loughlan gave me a quick glance and nod before turning away. Seeming awkward after the scene he witnessed this morning, something that Nickolai also caught on to, but ignored.

“Nes, this is Mira. Tiny, this is my sister Nessy, Second Admiral and Commander of my army,” He pointed to the tall woman with curves accentuating all the right places.

Her smile was wide and welcoming, reaching her deep brown eyes with a sparkle.

My heart skipped a beat at her blondish-brown hair that was too close for comfort.

I slammed another brick wall over the others that constantly crumbled and had to be rebuilt each day.

She reached out a hand, which I shook—returning her smile the best I could—as she said with a chuckle, “I heard you gave my brother what I’m sure was a well-deserved ass beating? ”

I glared at Nickolai, who gave me a smug look in return, “Not well enough apparently.”

Nessy cackled. “I like this one, she is feisty.”

“Yes, she is,” Nickolai agreed, rubbing his jaw where I hit him while staring at me. His gaze shifted, and he nodded at the man with dark wavy hair next to Nessy. “This is Ezekiel, but everyone calls him Zeke. He’s my second-in-command and High Admiral.”

I extended my hand to him, but was stopped by Nessy. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, unless you want him reading your thoughts.”

Zeke kept his hands tied together behind his back, and he gave me a shy, apologetic look. “Not that I do it on purpose,” he clarified, casting a nasty look at Nessy.

I looked at each of them. “Do you all have powers?”

“We call them seals, but yes,” Nickolai answered, watching me intently.

“What are they?”

“That’s for us to know and for you to find out,” Nessy stated with a wink.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. I could see us quickly becoming friends, but that could just as easily turn into enemies if I didn’t tread carefully. Turning my attention to Nickolai, I questioned, “Why am I here?”

“I have some questions for you,” he said nonchalantly, and I had to take a deep breath to keep myself from falling apart on the spot.

Sitting down in the cushioned chair at the end of the table, I no doubt looked like a little kid, and the ability to swing my legs only added to the image forming in my mind.

Scanning the room, it had the air of a space where serious conversations were held, but it still looked like any other room in the castle.

Bizarrely decorated to exude power over anyone within the presence of such rich beauty.

“Is it safe to speak in here?”

“Yes, this room along with a few others in the castle are warded from sound,” he said with what was meant to be an encouraging smirk.

I nodded. A small part of my brain recognized the very faint smell of false rain that I wouldn’t have noticed if I hadn’t been looking for it.

Making me question if the smell becomes unnoticeable the more you are around it.

My gaze landed back on the awaiting faces, and I waved a hand in Nickolai’s direction for him to proceed. He did.

“You said the monsters have been coming out in the day, how do you know?”

Everyone sat down, with Loughlan in a special chair to accommodate his wings, a seriousness washing over the room as they each stared directly at me. I focused my attention on a scratch on the dark polished wood of the table, “I have fought them.”

“Do you have proof?” Zeke asked, his voice void of any emotion.

Nickolai jumped in, adding, “Not that we don’t believe you. But you are human, and you have to realize this goes against everything that everyone has known.”

“Would you keep any proof of them?” I asked sarcastically, trying to fall into a deep pit of indifference. I knew that one day I would have to explain this, but I'd never been able to figure out how, or thought that it would be in front of him .

“When did you first notice this issue?” Nickolai asked, leaning back in his chair at the other end of the table to fold his hands across his abdomen.

My heart squeezed in pain at the memory the question pulled to the surface.

Taking another steadying breath, I counted in my head.

Now wasn’t the time to break down. I couldn’t let them see me be any more vulnerable than they had already.

I just needed to make it through this meeting, and then I could go back to the room and be alone once again.

“Three months ago,” I whispered, my voice cracking mid-sentence, which I prayed that no one else noticed.

“What happened?” Nickolai’s voice dropped the commanding tone, becoming more concerned and curious.

The question drew my gaze to his, and ice burned through my veins. He straightened at my glare as I replied, “That is none of your business.” In truth, it was his business. He had a right to know what happened in his kingdom. But I couldn't say it. Couldn't allow myself to admit it.

All eyes in the room dropped from me to the table, except for Nickolai’s.

“I apologize,” he yielded—clearing his throat.

There was a brief pause before he asked, “Would you be willing to go with a group to capture one of these day monsters?” I hesitated, but eventually nodded.

It was my only way to prove it to them and the only way out of this room.

“Good, then when the group gets one, we will have the philosophers look over it and reconvene once more information comes to light,” he concluded, looking at each person who agreed with the plan, including me.

His phrasing replayed in my head as I tried to decipher if he truly believed me.

Settling on the one word that stuck out the most.

When.

Everyone got up to leave, and Nessy walked over to me. “I’ll be in touch with you soon.”

I gave her a curt nod, ready to get out the door and back to my room. But that was stopped as his voice, that damned siren call, spoke out once more. “Mira—stay behind for a moment, would you?” Nickolai asked, causing the others to exchange looks.

I didn’t bother to look at him, not wanting to be drawn in once again as I blurted, “No.”