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Chapter twenty-five

I n the next hour I was attempting to walk toward the war room packed with Nessy, Nickolai, Zeke, and Loughlan. While the bath helped my muscles loosen up, I still had to grip onto the wainscoting for dear life.

Rain pelted the windows so loud that I could hardly make out my own footsteps when I entered the room.

There was a palpable awkwardness filling the air.

I didn’t bother to look at Nickolai as I sat down at the table, reciting the reason for this meeting to myself.

As I lifted my gaze, I landed on Zeke and Loughlan before at last settling on Nessy, all of whom stared at me with wide eyes.

By the shock written on their faces, I got my answer as to why they weren’t around the past few days.

They didn’t know about my change.

Nessy also didn’t have an aura of sadness around her quite like me and Nickolai did, and a part of me knew that she hadn’t been told about Aedon either.

Curiosity had me at last casting a glance in Nickolai’s direction at the head of the table. He looked just as I thought —tiredness showing through his handsome fae features. There were probably a million things running through his mind behind his dull green eyes.

His gaze caught my questioning one before he slowly and slightly shook his head—confirming my suspicion. They weren’t made aware of anything.

If that wasn’t enough, there was also Loughlan’s shocked shout, “You’re fae?!”

“Why didn’t you tell them?” I mumbled at Nickolai.

“I was busy.”

Shaking my head, I cleared my throat while adjusting myself in the chair that I could no longer swing my legs at, “Yes, Loughlan. And I was hoping that maybe you guys can help me figure out why–or how someone could have hidden that I’m.

. . fae.” I said, spitting out the last word with difficulty.

The words felt so weird for me to say. I was fae.

It was like I died and woke up in an alternate reality.

A nightmare. The only thing that reminded me it was real was Aedon and the pain for him that still held a strong grip on my heart.

Nessy kept her eyes locked on the table as she silently fumed at the news, or rather the lack of knowing.

Zeke and Loughlan kept looking between Nickolai and I—hesitant to voice their suspicions, until Loughlan finally said, “It would have to be a gift from the gods.” He threw a glance at Nickolai as he searched for agreement. But there was none.

Instead, Nickolai’s eyes narrowed on me as he said, “What I’m curious about is whether you had any knowledge of the fact that you are fae?”

I returned the expression. “If I had known, you would’ve too,” I said, referring to something entirely different for him.

His eyes dropped to the table, and he gave me a half-shrug, one that showed he couldn’t say for certain.

I rolled my eyes at him, which was nearly a permanent look for me by now.

“Who’s to say any of what you said was true?

Maybe you knew about it this entire time and you used it to your advantage to infiltrate our kingdom,” he argued after a moment, acting like he had all the time in the world.

If I knew any better, it almost sounded like he was listening to someone spew those thoughts into his head. My money was on Katryn.

I felt the heat rise up my cheeks, and it took everything in me not to launch out of my chair to attack him. “Why would I be trying to help you solve the issue of the monsters if I were lying?” I shot back, my voice raising.

He shrugged again, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.”

I blew out a frustrated breath, focusing my gaze on the scratch on the table. I didn’t bother to say anything else—I just lifted my hand and offered it to Zeke. Nessy gasped, and I drew my glare back to Nickolai’s face, which remained expressionless.

“Mira, what are you doing?” Nessy asked, concern filling her voice.

I kept my eyes on Nickolai. “Your brother seems to think I’m the enemy. . .” I answered. “Are you ready for him to know everything?” My question was directed toward the king, but I could see the others exchanging curious glances.

Nickolai tapped his finger on the table for several seconds before finally looking at Zeke. “Only look and keep any personal information to yourself,” he grumbled. My heart and thoughts started to race at his agreement. Would this be painful? How long would it take?

Zeke glanced at me hesitantly, and I nodded my head at him. In the next moment, he grabbed my hand, and I felt nothing other than a slight dizziness as he rifled through the memories of my life. And for the first time, I realized I didn’t smell the false rain.

We all watched as his face changed from that of horror to shock and back to horror before pain etched his features as if I were hurting him.

His body kept trying to pull him away, but his hands stayed locked on mine.

He began to groan, and it wasn't until his nose started to bleed that he was finally able to lurch back, looking at me with every emotion on the wheel.

Nessy looked at him with wide, concerned eyes and asked, “Are you okay?”

“Anything?” Nickolai asked at the same time, leaning toward Zeke with furrowed brows.

“I—” Zeke tried to speak, but his voice caught in his throat. He wiped at his nose, and after many excruciating moments, he head shook. “She didn’t know.”

Satisfied with Zeke's findings, Nickolai slouched back in his chair, not bothering to apologize for the accusations he threw at me, which led to my whole life being examined. Nessy and Loughlan looked between the three of us, both of them trying to determine what happened.

Having no filter, Nessy was the first to ask, “What the fuck was that for?”

Nickolai’s unwavering, commanding tone broke out over the room as he said, “Nothing.”

I threw an apologetic look at her before moving on to my next question. “Now that that’s done, can we get back to the point at hand? Why would someone place a spell on me?”

“It was most likely to hide you,” Nickolai answered.

“Hide me from what?”

Everyone was silent as they each exchanged looks before eventually shrugging.

“Do you feel anything?” Loughlan offered.

My eyes narrowed with confusion, “What do you mean? I feel a lot of things right now, you need to be specific.”

“Do you feel anything that could be a seal?” Zeke clarified.

“I don’t think so,” I said, shaking my head.

Loughlan leaned forward in his seat, “ If you do, you need to let one of us know right away.”

I nodded, resisting the urge to roll my eyes again as I blew out a heavy breath. “Is there any news on the monsters?” I asked hoping to at least get something from that.

Nickolai’s lips thinned as he continued tapping his finger on the table, “I have been corresponding with Queen Nasir, she sent out a group of her men to investigate the lands and they also found monsters in the day. There are currently letters being drawn up to be sent to Ylouver, Wrodgow, and Sorith.”

At the mention of Sorith, Loughlan tensed, his wings drawing closer to his body. A small part of me wondered what it was that caused his reaction, but I knew it had to be something bad for a man of his size to react like that.

Nessy discreetly moved her hand onto Loughlan’s thigh under the table, which no one happened to notice except me—or at least they didn’t show that they noticed it. She was clearly trying to rein in her attitude as she questioned, “Why didn’t you tell us about corresponding with Arklas sooner?”

“I was occupied,” Nickolai answered, and Nessy’s gaze traveled to me.

“Is anyone going to share with us what the hell happened?”

“Not right now,” I said, answering for Nickolai.

“Why not?” she asked, growing frustrated.

“Because I said so,” I growled, growing tired of the nosiness.

She would find out sooner or later, especially since Nickolai now knew.

I tried to ignore the protective feeling that overwhelmed me.

I knew that he, of all people, needed time to absorb the news before having to deal with prying questions or hurt emotions.

Nessy gaped at me. I’d never spoken to her like this.

I’d never spoken to anyone the way I had today, but a part of me had lost the will to care.

I was so tired of bending over for my fear and for everyone around me.

The past few months were spent with me walking on eggshells even around myself, and I was done.

“To be fair, Mira, you have no authority over us,” Nessy sassed. Loughlan cast a sideways glance of wariness at her.

What used to be a small flicker of red mist was now an unruly massive ball of swirls in the pit of my stomach, dancing with the challenge. My hands immediately curled into a fists, and it felt as if another being was taking over me, one that was quite frightening.

“Enough!” Nickolai boomed, breaking me from my trance as if someone had poured a bucket of cold water over me.

Nessy’s eyes were wide and watching me carefully.

“Nes, it’s none of your business, stay out of it.

” She had the sense to look subdued as she nodded her head in acceptance.

“I don’t think we will be getting anywhere else today, so you are all dismissed. ”

I nearly ground my teeth together at his words. You are all dismissed . Is that what he did to everyone—just dismissed them when he was done? Perhaps that’s what he does to the women he spends his nights with as well.

Each of us stood to leave, but Nickolai’s smooth voice spoke out over the room once again, making me wish I’d run out of here as soon as I had the chance.

“Mira, a word.”

“That was three,” I said, stopping to glare at him.

Loughlan choked out a laugh at my response, covering it with a cough when Zeke elbowed him in the ribs.

They all filed out of the room quickly, and I waited for Nickolai to continue speaking, refusing to sit back down, although the ache in my legs had me nearly changing my mind.